The 5 levels of the concept 'conversation'. Excerpt of my book Crucial Dialogues (in Dutch) pages 18-19

1. How can you Change
your Thinking …
through Dialogue
A new Mindset...

2. Conversation type A (aka Monologue)
I give and the other
does not receive. I
give, but don’t
consider if the other
wants to receive. The
other gives but I do
not receive.

3. Conversation type B (aka Debate)
I give and the other
receives. The other is
either not able or not
willing to give. The other
gives and I receive. I’m at
that moment either not
able or not willing to give.

4. Conversation type C (aka Discussion)
I give and the other
gives too. Both of us
though are willing nor
able to receive. Our
giving comes together in
the middle and creates
mostly tension or
otherwise emptiness.

5. Conversation type D (aka Conversation)
I give and the other gives
and we are both willing and
able to receive, but we
don’t let penetrate in us
too deeply what we
receive. What we receive
doesn’t have a chance to
change us really.

6. Conversation type E (aka Dialogue)
I and the other give and
receive in a very open
manner during which
interaction we know and
accept that we are
influencing each other.
During all this we are
willing and ready to
change, to adapt our
vision, to transform our
insights.

7. Dialogue
 DiaLogos;
 Dia means through ;
 Logos means “the word”;
 Peter Senge: “Flow of Meaning” ;
 Dialogues: “Flow of meaning in words
and images through the participants
of the conversation”.

8. Facts, Observations,
Objective Data
Feelings, Emotions,
Creative Tension
Beliefs, Suppositions,
Expectations, Mindset,
Frame of Reference
Strategy, Resources,
Approach, Action Plan
Commitment
(PCCP)
Definition
of Problem
Result:
a
(temporary)
Insight
Result:
a
(temporary)
Decision
LEARNING CHOOSING
?
COMMUNICATION CREATION
APPRECIATION TRANSFORMATION
REFLECTING DECIDING
21 mei 2014
8 Loss Control Centre Belgium
Crucial Dialogue
Crucial Dialogues

9. A man found an eagle’s egg and put it in the
nest of a backyard hen. The eaglet hatched
with the brood of chicks and grew up with
them.
Anthony de Mello SJ
All his life the eagle did what the backyard chickens
did, thinking he was a backyard chicken. He
scratched the earth for worms and insects. He
clucked and cackled. And he would thrash his wings
and fly a few feet into the air.
Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a
magnificent bird far above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in
graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents, with
scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings.
The old eagle looked up in awe. “Who’s that?” he asked.
“That’s the eagle, the king of the birds,” said his neighbor. “He
belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth - we’re chickens.”
So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that’s what he
thought he was.