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SEMINAR ON THE HOLY SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY
                    St. Peregrine Laziosi Parish, Tunasan, Muntinlupa City
                                                   Prepared by:
                                              Leonard Guiang, OSM
                                           09274057537/ 09481304012
                                            serviammaria@yahoo.com
                                           www.greatjojo.blogspot.com



I.     Sacrament of Marriage
       1. What are the common concepts of marriage either in Church or civil aspect?
                 Union between man and woman
                 Entered in accordance with law (formality)
                 For conjugal and family life
                 Contract of permanent union of two opposite sex
                 For paper / document for future use
                 Paglalagay ng sarili sa tahimik (?)
       2. What is the sacrament of matrimony?
                 Matrimony, is a "covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a
                  partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the
                  spouses and the procreation and education of offspring.
                                What is covenant?
                             1. c.1300 used this word
                             2. from O.Fr. covenant "agreement," originally prp. of covenir "agree, meet,"
                                     from L. convenire "come together"
                                           o Applied in Scripture to God's arrangements with man, as a
                                              translation of L. testamentum, Gk. diatheke, both rendering
                                              Heb. berith (though testament is also used for the same
                                              word in different places).
       3. Biblical foundation
                 Genesis 2:22 – 24
                  The LORD God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When
                  he brought her to the man, the man said: "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh
                  of my flesh; this one shall be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been
                  taken." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the
                  two of them become one body.

                 Ephesians 5:21-30
                  Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate
                  to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head
                  of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so
                  wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives,
                  even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing
                  her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in
                  splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without

     1|Page                    Marriage and Family Life
blemish. So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves
             his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes
             it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "For this reason a
             man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall
             become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the
             church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should
             respect her husband.

            1 Peter 3:1-8
             Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husband’s so that, even if some
             disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives' conduct when
             they observe your reverent and chaste behavior. Your adornment should not be an
             external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but
             rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle
             and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God. For this is also how the holy
             women who hoped in God once used to adorn them and were subordinate to their
             husbands; thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him "lord." You are her children when you
             do what is good and fear no intimidation. Likewise, you husbands should live with your
             wives in understanding, showing honor (support) to the weaker female sex, since we are
             joint heirs of the gift of life (children), so that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally,
             all of you be of one mind, sympathetic, loving toward one another, compassionate,
             humble.

             1 Corinthians 7:1-7,10-,39
             Now in regard to the matters about which you wrote: "It is a good thing for a man not to
             touch a woman,” but because of cases of immorality every man should have his own wife,
             and every woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his duty toward his wife,
             and likewise the wife toward her husband. A wife does not have authority over her own
             body, but rather her husband, and similarly a husband does not have authority over his
             own body, but rather his wife. Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual
             consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may
             not tempt you through your lack of self-control. This I say by way of concession, however,
             not as a command. Indeed, I wish everyone to be as I am, but each has a particular gift
             from God, one of one kind and one of another.
             To the married, however, I give this instruction (not I, but the Lord): a wife should not
             separate from her husband and if she does separate she must either remain single or
             become reconciled to her husband -- and a husband should not divorce his wife.
             A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be
             married to whomever she wishes, provided that it be in the Lord.

            1 Corinthians 11:1-12
             Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. I praise you because you remember me in everything
             and hold fast to the traditions, just as I handed them on to you. But I want you to know
             that Christ is the head of every man, and a husband the head of his wife, and God the head
             of Christ. … A man, on the other hand, should not cover his head, because he is the image
             and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman,
             but woman from man; nor was man created for woman, but woman for man; for this
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reason a woman should have a sign of authority on her head, because of the angels.
             Woman is not independent of man or man of woman in the Lord. For just as woman
             came from man, so man is born of woman; but all things are from God.

             Colossians 3:18-21
             Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord.
             Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.
             Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.
             Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.

            Hebrews 13: 4
             Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will
             judge the immoral and adulterers.

            Matthew 19:3 -12 and Mark 10:2-12
             Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce
             his wife for any cause whatever?" He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the
             beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall
             leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one
             flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined
             together, no human being must separate." They said to him, "Then why did Moses
             command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss (her)?" He said to
             them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives,
             but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the
             marriage is unlawful) and marries commits adultery." (His) disciples said to him, "If that is
             the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." He answered, "Not all can
             accept (this) word, but only those to whom that is granted. Some are incapable of
             marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some,
             because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.

  4. Sacrament – is an efficacious sign instituted by Christ that gives grace
            Call to holiness
            Instituted by Christ (cf. Mt.19)
            The author of the contract: God Himself
            Symbolizes Christ and the Church (cf. Eph. 5:21-30)
            gives grace-relationship with God and the spouses
  5. Nature of marriage
           Union – spouses’ copulation
           Conjugal – properties
           Man and woman - gender
           Two qualified person – canonical and civil process
           Living together for life – Divine blessing for the faithfulness to God and to each other’s
            vows. (no divorced)
  6. Sincere consent of the spouses – (form) important to makes it valid and it must be
     integral

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7. Matter of marriage and the ministers
               Spouses mutual donation or self-giving
      8. Purpose of marriage
               For the good of the spouses – mutual affection
               Procreation and upbringing of children – generosity and openness to God
      9. Properties of marriage
               Unity – monogamy
               Indissolubility – Divine institution, no divorce – cannot be dissolved
      10.Effects of marriage
               Perpetual and exclusive bond for the spouses
               They receive God’s graces - guidance

II.   Canon Law: Marriage nullity grounds                  (Canons 1073-1107)
            a. Legal Capacity to Marry
                     i.   Age – 14 for woman and 16 for man (18 years old in the Philippines)
                    ii.   Impotence – not sterility, as long as they can copulate.
                   iii.   Pre-existing bond – within Church that has valid bond not the civil wedding.
                   iv.    Disparity of cult – mixed marriages between catholic and non- Catholic or non-
                          Christian
                     v.   Sacred Orders – ordained ministers
                    vi.   Perpetual Vow of Chastity – perpetually professed religious men and women
                   vii.   Abduction – if the intention is for marriage in the case of women only.
                  viii.   Crime – direct and in direct engage in either in both parties
                    ix.   Consanguinity – until the 4th degree in collateral line (first cousin – ask for
                          dispensation from the bishop).
                    x.     Affinity – all direct line and the siblings of your partner in the past
                   xi.    Public Propriety – public scandal (de facto marriages)
                  xii.    Legal Relationship - legally adopted or spiritual relationships


            b. Integrality of Matrimonial consent
                     i. Psychological incapacity, has no capacity in what they are entering to and how
                        and what are their obligations
                            1. Lack of sufficient use of reason – insane
                            2. Lack of due discretion – teen pregnancy, psychological issues, traditional
                                practices
                            3. Unable to assume obligations (Purpose of marriage) - homosexual (mutual
                                affection), nymphomaniac (marital fidelity)
                    ii. Ignorance – nature, purpose, property of marriage
                   iii. Error – wrong knowledge
                            1. Substantive error – erroneous judgment about the identity of the person
                                (FB,YM, Pen pal)
                            2. Attributive error – erroneous judgment about the “quality” of the person
                                (rich but poor person in reality)


  4|Page                        Marriage and Family Life
iv. Misconception – wrong knowledge or false judgment about matrimonial fidelity or
                             indissolubility or sacramentality.
                          v. Proxy – absence of the other partner in the rite
                         vi. Simulation – doing the rite on marriage yet not the purpose or any essential of
                             marriage.
                        vii. Condition – “I will marry if ….” Unless there must be written explicitly in front of
                             the bishop.

III.      Rite of the Sacrament of Matrimony (See the rite itself)
                 Symbols and its meaning:
                          i. Candle – symbolizes Christ. He will be the light of couples and accompany them in
                             their marriage life. God will be their only guide towards proper direction.
                         ii. Rings – symbol of affection / love and fidelity. It represents the very personas of
                             the spouses.
                        iii. Arrhae – symbolizes material resources and support. The husband gives it to his
                             wife with two hands to indicate that it is the duty of the husband to support the
                             wife and the future family /family.
                        iv. Veil – symbolizes the spouses’ living together under one roof, dining together in
                             one table, and sleeping together in one bed. It is placed on the head of the wife to
                             symbolize her promise of love and service to her husband. It is placed on the
                             shoulder of the husband to signify his love and dependability in favor to his wife.
                         v. Cord – symbolizes the confirmation of their marriage bond which is intrinsically
                             one and indissoluble.

IV.       Family Planning
       WHAT IS NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING?
             Natural Family Planning (NFP) is an umbrella term for certain methods used to achieve and avoid
         pregnancies. These methods are based on observation of the naturally occurring signs and symptoms
         of the fertile and infertile phases of a woman's menstrual cycle. Couples using NFP to avoid
         pregnancy abstain from intercourse and genital contact during the fertile phase of the woman's
         cycle. No drugs, devices, or surgical procedures are used to avoid pregnancy. NFP reflects the dignity
         of the human person within the context of marriage and family life, promotes openness to life, and
         recognizes the value of the child. By respecting the love-giving and life-giving natures of marriage,
         NFP can enrich the bond between husband and wife.

        Is NFP Rhythm?
              NFP is not "Rhythm.”
              The Rhythm (or Calendar) method was developed in the 1930s. It was based on the theory that
          the time of next ovulation could be determined by calculating previous menstrual cycles. This
          method often proved inaccurate because of the unique nature of each woman's menstrual cycle:
          some women have very irregular cycles and almost all women have a cycle of unusual length once in
          a while.
              On the other hand, NFP methods are progressive. That is, they are based on progressive, day-to-
          day observations of the naturally occurring signs and symptoms of the fertile and infertile phases of


       5|Page                     Marriage and Family Life
the menstrual cycle. NFP methods take advantage of the changes associated with ovulation, treating
   each cycle as unique.
       Couples using NFP to avoid pregnancy abstain from intercourse during the fertile phase of the
   woman's cycle. Couples who wish to achieve a pregnancy can also take advantage of the fertile time
   of the cycle. Because it allows couples to adjust their behavior to the naturally occurring cycles of a
   woman's body, NFP is not a contraceptive--i.e., it does nothing to work against conception.
 Who can use NFP?
       Any married couple can use NFP! A woman need not have "regular" cycles. NFP education helps
   couples to fully understand their combined fertility, thereby helping them to either achieve or avoid
   a pregnancy. The key to the successful use of NFP is cooperation and communication between
   husband and wife--a shared commitment.
As a method of family planning, NFP
     Calls for mutual responsibility by husband and wife
     Requires the couple to communicate
     Is based on scientific research
     Treats each menstrual cycle as unique and teaches a couple to observe their signs of fertility on a
       day-to-day bases
     Has no harmful side effects
     Is effective for those wanting to achieve or avoid pregnancy
     Can be used in special circumstances--such as, post-partum, during breastfeeding, and
       premenopause
     Is virtually cost free!


           NFP is unique among methods of family planning because it enables its users to work with the
    body rather than against it. Fertility is viewed as a reality to live, not a problem to be solved.

   What are the signs of fertility?
       A woman's body provides three basic ways to identify the fertile and infertile times of her cycle.
   Recognizing the pattern of those physical signs forms the basis for all methods of NFP.
       A primary sign of fertility is the mucus released from the women's cervix. A woman learns to
   identify the normal, healthy, cervical mucus which indicates the days that intercourse is most likely to
   result in a pregnancy. The second sign is her basal body temperature. Due to hormonal activity, a
   woman's waking temperature changes during the menstrual cycle. Lower temperatures indicate that
   ovulation has not yet occurred. Higher temperatures indicate a rise in progesterone which signals the
   end of the fertile time. The third sign is a change in the shape or texture of the cervix. Finally,
   secondary signs, such as minor abdominal pain or pressure at the time of ovulation can also be
   observed.

   How does NFP work?
         NFP instruction helps a couple identify the most opportune time to achieve as well as avoid a
    pregnancy. Understanding that intercourse or genital contact during the fertile time can result in
    pregnancy, couples using the natural methods must be clear regarding their family planning intention-
    -that is, do they wish to achieve or avoid a pregnancy?
         If a couple wishes to achieve pregnancy, they have intercourse during the fertile time. If a couple
    wishes to avoid pregnancy, they abstain from intercourse and any genital contact during the fertile

 6|Page                      Marriage and Family Life
time. No artificial methods are used during the fertile time. These would interfere with a women's
  observation of her fertility signs.

What are the benefits of using NFP?
      In NFP both spouses are taught to understand the nature of fertility and work with it, either to
 plan a pregnancy or to avoid a pregnancy. Couples who use NFP soon learn that they have a shared
 responsibility for family planning. Husbands are encouraged to "tune into" their wives' cycles and
 both spouses are encouraged to speak openly and frankly about their sexual desires and their ideas on
 family size.

  Other benefits include:
               Low cost
               No harmful side effects
               Effectiveness for achieving, spacing, or limiting pregnancy
               Can be used throughout the reproductive life cycle
               Marriage enrichment and mutual understanding
               Appreciation for the value of children
               Fosters respect for and acceptance of the total person
               Moral acceptability

How effective are the natural family planning methods for avoiding pregnancy?
       When couples understand the methods and are motivated to follow them, NFP is up to 99%
       successful in spacing or limiting births.
       The effectiveness of NFP depends upon the spouses' following the rules of the method according
       to their family planning intention (i.e., achieving or limiting pregnancy). Those who are strongly
       motivated to avoid pregnancy and follow the method-defined rules are very effective in meeting
       their goal.
       *****
Where can I learn how to use NFP?
       The best way to learn NFP is from a qualified instructor-- that is, one who is certified from an NFP
  teacher training program. Although medical professionals are gradually learning more about NFP and
  becoming more supportive of patients who wish to use it, they are not often trained to teach NFP.
  Contact your local Catholic Office of Marriage and Family Life to find a certified NFP teacher.
What are the requirements in Family planning?
       Family planning requires decisions of conscience that must respect the law of God and the
  teaching authority of the Church in Christ Jesus which authentically interprets the divine law.
What is the meaning of Marital Intercourse?
        Marital intercourse is a natural sacrament because it is a sign of the wisdom of the design of God
  for human persons. It is a symbol of an expression of two human beings who have vowed to
  openness, the weakness, the mutual self-giving of covenant love. The integrity of marital intercourse
  and fertility acceptance are the concern of the Church. In Church teachings has highlighted the values
  of dialogue, reciprocal respect, shared responsibility, self-control.




7|Page                      Marriage and Family Life
Differences of Natural and Artificial Family planning
  Natural means of family planning (NFP)              Artificial means of family planning
                                                                 (contraception)
 1. It does not interfere with the natural            1. It did not accept by altering or
    reproductive system and process designed by           destroying fertility given and designed
    God. Accepts Fertility, integrating into mutual       by God
    self-giving. Accepts the design by God by         2. Not acceptable to all religions and
    exercising dominion (stewardship)                     cultures.
 2. Morally acceptable to all religions and           3. All contraceptive and abortifacient
    cultures.                                             methods that are using it remain
 3. Avoids the use of mechanical devices or               ignorant about the beauty of their body
    powerful hormones which may have harmful              and subduing them with it chemicals
    effects.
                                                          that cause sickness and diseases.
 4. It is among the most effective methods of
                                                      4. Not acceptable to the moral teachings of
    nonpermanent fertility regulation known
                                                          the Church given by God in Jesus.
    when learned and used properly -- up to 99
                                                      5. It destroys the essentials of marriage
    percent. (see short film)
                                                          (good of the spouses and generating
 5. Essentially free of charge. Where to this point
                                                          children.)
    is particularly crucial in areas of developing
                                                      6. It attempts to eliminate the procreative
    countries where health care is rudimentary
                                                          meaning of marital love from the symbol
    and expensive.
                                                          of self-giving.
 6. Strengthens marriage and family. It allows
                                                      7. It trivializes sex and undermines the
    husband and wife to have the dignity of
                                                          covenant of marriage (the promise of
    actual stewardship of the gift of fertility
                                                          total self-giving and mutual acceptance)
    according to their unique circumstances. It
                                                      8. The human bodies become sub-personal
    fosters sexual self-control, which is central
                                                          or object of desire which is against the
    and essential to human freedom, true love
                                                          human dignity (Act upon it even to
    and maturity. It also sets a good example of
                                                          destroying it.)
    chastity in married life for teenaged children.
                                                      9. Redesign creation through manipulation
 7. Beautiful and creative. Of all of the methods
                                                          (dominion)
    of fertility regulation, only NFP allows the
                                                      10. Behaviorally antiprocreative
    couple to make love as God and nature
                                                      11. Controls biology and creates
    intended.
                                                          dependency.
 8. Women and men learn about their bodies
                                                      12. It requires synthetic hormones and
    and work with them and NFP allows
                                                          devices.
    husbands to more intimately understand the
                                                      13. Against conception as the word pertains.
    psychology of their wives by understanding
                                                          Not natural in which it endangers human
    the nature of their menstrual cycles.
                                                          health especially the woman.
 9. It requires growth in self-control, self-
                                                      14. It is against human life so it is a sin and
    sacrifice, dying of self, and other virtues
                                                          an abuse to oneself
    needed by those who want to follow Christ.
                                                      15. It destroys human life specially women
                                                          and the life of the unborn



8|Page                     Marriage and Family Life
Kinds of Natural Family Planning methods
   There are four basic types of natural family planning:
   (1) the "rhythm" or calendar method, also known as the Ogino-Knaus method;
   (2) the Basal Body Temperature (BBT) method;
   (3) the ovulation method; and
              a. Normal - 21 to 35 days. 14 days before ovulation
              b. Abnormal - Less than 21 or more than 35.
              c. Use every morning observation
   (4) the Sympto-Thermal Method (STM).[2]
           a. 2 degrees up when ovulation method.
           b. Use thermometer


Four aspects of Responsible Parenthood (from Humanae Vitae #10)
 1. The knowledge and respect of reproductive process which are integral parts of human person.
 2. The integration of the tendencies of instinct or passion or desire with our reason and freewill.
 3. Consideration of the physical , economic, psychological, and social conditions in relation to which
    couples generously decide to have several children or for serious reasons, to limit their family size.
 4. A profound relationship with moral order established by God through the formation of conscience.
    (Two key aspects in the formation of conscience: (1) there must be absolute fundamental in
    understanding the dignity of the human person in his or her relationship with God and (2) as a
    practical moral guide in making judgments and decisions in life.)




Reminders for good marriage and family life (acronym)

PUT God at the center of our life especially in the relationship
     P – Patience
     U – Understanding
     T – Trust
LET God be always in our life
     L – Love
     E – Encouragement
     T – Truth

"If I had to change my religious beliefs, I would not marry the person that I love because the first person
that I love is God who created me and I have my faith and my principles and this is what makes me who
I am. And if that person loves me, he should love my God too." - Shamcey Supsup at Sao Paolo 9.12.11


9|Page                      Marriage and Family Life
Article 1, Reflection on Marriage

         Our world today is a world of uncertainties most of the time we are not sure of the truthfulness
of a thing. We need proofs in order to believe and to trust someone. We are in a mode of assurance. But
how do we know for sure about it? We had a lot of questions in our life and sometimes it leads us to
confusion. Family life is one of the vocations in the Church that a person can choose. If we think of a
family, what we are thinking about? What makes the family a family? Can we consider a family when
failures occur or not? These questions will help us to reflect the value of a family in the Christian sense.
But another question again is that what makes the Christian family unique from the other families in the
world?
         Let us see and reflect first what marriage is in the Catholic perspective. Marriage is an institution
or we can say oldest human institution. Let us remember that every tribe composed of families or the
clan system. And the tribe or clan will group together by agreeing some laws they are forming a
government. This is so prevalent in the Philippine history and so true also to other human histories in the
world. In our early days of education, the definition of the family is the vital cell of the society. From that
meaning we can already learn what a family is. The word ‘vital’ which also means life; when there is life
there is the dynamism or interactions. It is true to every family, there must be interaction it is because
marriage life or family life is relational. Every relationship is always mutual that is why we have the
dialogue. So therefore, family life needs to have the dialogue so that it will maintain the healthy
relationships and every problem will be solved within it in every way on it. The word ‘cell’ which also
means a small part in the bigger body; our human body composed of cells. If every cell is well so it
follows that our body will be healthy. The word ‘society’ which also means companionship; it is a
companionship of people living together orderly. There is the aspect of order. Usually, every person
would seek orderliness. Why order? It is because from orderliness human being finds himself or herself
who he/she is. If everything in order it is good to live in happiness.
         The Church considers that meaning but it is also affirm the teaching of the Lord that Marriage is
one of the sacraments. What a sacrament? Sacrament is an efficacious sign instituted by Christ that gives
grace. When we define as efficacious it is effective sign. Sign of what: sign of the love of Christ to the
Church (cf. Eph. 5:21-32). Its effectiveness is based on the power of God who will bless the couples. It is
instituted by Christ, in which when He affirmed the word of God in the book of Genesis (cf. Gen 2:24),
when he said with explanations, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them
male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his
wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what
God has joined together, no human being must separate." (cf. Matthew 19:4-6). It is Christ who made
the sacraments and not the Church. So marriage is not only simply an institution but it has the divine
foundation. So let us take seriously on it. It has responsibilities to carry on but of course do not be afraid
for the reason that God is with us and who will in us always. (cf. Matthew 1:23; 28:20). It gives grace; it
is naturally because it is instituted by Christ. When we say ‘grace’ in the liturgy it is relationship. It helps
us to be in good relationship with the Lord. A relationship that helps us to grow in holiness of life and to
fulfill our duties as baptized Catholic Christians. I will end this article by quoting the Catechism of the
Catholic Church:
        God, infinitely perfect and blessed in himself, in a plan of sheer goodness freely created man to make him
    share in his own blessed life. For this reason, at every time and in every place, God draws close to man. He calls
    man to seek him, to know him, to love him with all his strength. He calls together all men, scattered and
    divided by sin, into the unity of his family, the Church. To accomplish this, when the fullness of time had come,
    God sent his Son as Redeemer and Savior. In his Son and through him, he invites men to become, in the Holy
    Spirit, his adopted children and thus heirs of his blessed life. (CCC Prologue. I: 1)

10 | P a g e                    Marriage and Family Life
Article 2, Reflection on Marriage
        Family life is the life of the state. It is the life force of the society in achieving the ultimate goal. A
good and morally upright society reflects good family. Moreover, the very source of good moral state
leader is formed in the family; and also the sanctuary and place of formation for good citizens of the
state.
        In the article 2 section 12 of the 1987 Philippine Constitution, it embraces the sacredness of
family life, and in which the state must protect and strengthen the family as the strong foundation of the
society. The state must protect the life of the mothers and the life of the unborn from the moment of
conception. In addition, the parents should nurture their children in connection to the state. It says that
the natural as well as the primary right and responsibility of each parents is to raise their children as
good citizens in nurturing them with moral character. It is very clear in the Philippine constitution the
importance of the family in the society. Moreover, in section 11 in the same article it says that the state
gives value and respect the dignity of each human person in which it is the foundational aspect for the
protection of life. The dignity and human life is sacred. That is why every person must be respected so
that real progress and development be prospered.
Married couples must be responsible to one another and the state must guarantee on it by maintaining
the peace and order in the society by providing and implementing the laws that protect each individuals.
Husband must do his responsibility at the service of love towards his wife and his children by proving
their basic needs in life. He must work in order to provide the necessities of their life. He must do it as a
good and morally upright citizen and as member of his family. The wife must take care and oversee if the
children and her husband do their work well so that there will be assurance of good relationship in the
family. A good family depends on the goodness of the couples. Let the couples not be slaves of one
another but as husbands and wives, servants of one another. True service can be and be manifested by
being responsible in the family.
         Marriage is not simply a "religious" construct. The Natural Law reveals - and the cross cultural
history of civilization affirms - that marriage is between a man and a woman, open to children and
intended for life. Marriage is the foundation for the family which is the privileged place for the formation
of virtue and character in children, our future citizens. The family is the first society, first economy, first
school, first civilizing and mediating institution and first government.
        In his apostolic exhortation on the Eucharist, the Sacrament of Charity, Pope Benedict
summarized the duty of the Catholic faithful when confronted with this assault on authentic marriage:
"Marriage and the family are institutions that must be promoted and defended from every possible
misrepresentation of their true nature, since whatever is injurious to them is injurious to society itself."
The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith of the Catholic Church wrote in 2003, "The Church's
teaching on marriage and on the complementarity of the sexes reiterates a truth that is evident to right
reason and recognized as such by all the major cultures of the world. Marriage is not just any
relationship between human beings. It was established by the Creator with its own nature, essential
properties and purpose.
        No ideology can erase from the human spirit the certainty that marriage exists solely between a
man and a woman, who by mutual personal gift, proper and exclusive to themselves, tend toward the
communion of their persons. In this way, they mutually perfect each other, in order to cooperate with
God in the procreation and upbringing of new human lives.




11 | P a g e                    Marriage and Family Life
References:
Alegre, Mauricio. Love and Courtship: Understanding the Basic Aspects of Sexuality. (Sinag-Tala: Manila,
        1994).
Asis, Joselito. Together for Life. (Paulines: Pasay City, 2008).
Bacani, Teodoro. The Church and Birth Control. (Archdiocese of Manila: Manila, 1992)
Balsam, Charles and Elizabeth Balsam. Family Planning: A Guide for Exploring the Issues – 3rd Ed. (Liguori:
        USA, 1994).
Beauchamp, To and James Childress. Principles of Biomedical Ethics. (Oxford University Press: New York,
        2001).
Becket Soule, W. The Catholic teaching on Annulment Preserving the Sanctity of Marriage. (CIS: New
        Haven, 2007).
Bishop Robert Finn. Blessed are the Pure in Heart: Pastoral Letter on the Human Dignity and the Dangers
        of Pornography. (CIS: New Haven, 2007).
Cardinal Lopez Trujillo, Alfonzo and Brian Clowes, PhD. The Case Against Condoms: The scientific and
        Moral Basis for the Teaching of the Catholic Church on Preventing the Spread of Disease. (Human
        Life International: Virginia, 2006)
Deferrari, Roy. (ed.). Saint Augustine: Treatises on Marriage and Other Subjects. (Fathers of the Church
        Inc: New York, 1955)
Dunn, H.P. The Doctor and Christian Marriage. (St. Pauls: Makati, 1997).
Egner, G. Contraception vs. Tradition: A Catholic Critique. (Herder and Herder: New York, 1967)
Escriva, Josemaria. Ang Pag-aasawa: Isang Bokasyon Kristiyano – Tagalog Ed. (Sinag-Tala: Manila, 2000).
Fedoryka, Maria. The Gift of Woman. (CIS: New Haven, 2008).
Gustin, Marilyn. 15 Ways to Enrich your Marriage. (Logos Publications: Manila, 2008).
Harvey, John F. Same Sex Attraction: Catholic Teaching and Pastoral Practice. (CIS: New Haven,
        2007).Jason, Joel. Free Love, True Love: Rediscovering Love and Intimacy in John Paul II’s Theology
        of the Body. (Shepherd’s Voice: Quezon City, 2008).
Huels, John. The Pastoral Companion: a Canon Law Handbook for Catholic Ministry, 3rd ed. (Franciscan
        Press: Illinois, 2010).
Keenan, James. Moral Wisdom: Lessons and Text from the Catholic Tradition. (Claretian: Quezon City,
        2004).
King, Jason E. Dating: A Practical Catholic Guide. (CIS: New Haven, 2007).
Latorre, Roberto. Contraception and the Family: The Immorality of Contraception and Its Effects on
        Family Life. (Sinag-Tala: Manila, 1994).
McClenahan Burkett, Wynn. Life after Baby: From Professional Woman to Beginner Parent. Wildcat
        Canyon Press: California, 2000).
Martimort, Aime Georges (ed). The Church at Prayer – Vol. III: The Sacraments. (Liturgical Press:
        Minnesota, 1988).
May, William. Catholic Sexual Ethics. (CIS: New Haven, 2007).
May, William. Catholic Bioethics and the Gift of Human Life. (Sunday Visitor: Indiana, 2000)


12 | P a g e                 Marriage and Family Life
Medenilla, Betty (ed). Pagtataling Puso: Isang Programa ng Paghubog sa Paghahanda ng mga Ikakasal.
        (St. Pauls: Makati, 1988).
Moschetta, Evelyn and Paul Moschetta. The Marriage Spirit: Finding the Passion and Joy of Soul-Centered
        Love. ( Fireside: New York, 2000).
O’Mallay, William. Young People and You Know what!: Eroding the New Paganism. (St. Pauls: Makati,
        1995)
Pope John Paul II. Evagelium Vitae. (Paulines: Pasay City, 2006)
Pope Paul VI. Humane Vitae. (Paulines: Pasay City, 2003).
Rahner, Karl, eds. Encyclopedia of Theology. (St. Pauls: Mumbai, 2004)
Salinas, Florinda. The True Meaning of a Home: About Family Life and Parenting. Sinag-Tala: Manila,
        1998).
Short, Rey. Sex, Love or Infatuation: How Can I really Know? - Revised. ( Claretian: Quezon City, 2005).
Shoupe, Donna and Siri Kjos, MD’s (eds). The Handbook of Contraception (Humana Press: New Jersey,
        2006).
Timbreza, Florentino. Pagpapahalaga sa Pamilya. (Logos Publications: Manila, 2010).
Trewinnard, Karen. Fertility and Conception. (Golden Books: New York, 1999).
Vanier, Jean. Man and Woman He Made Them. (Longman and Todd: London, 1985)
Villanueva, Leandro. Pag-ibig, Ligawan, Kasalan, Seks at iba pa. (Paulines: Pasay City, 1998).
Villanueva, Leandro. At Silang Dalawa’y Magiging Isa – 12th Ed. (Paulines: Pasay City, 2003).
Villanueva, Leandro. Ganito ba ang Asawa mo?. (Paulines: Pasay City, 2001).
Wojtyla, Karol – Pope John Paul II. Fruitful and Responsible Love. (The Seabury Press: New York, 1979).
_____________. Values and Practicalities of Natural Family Planning. (St. Pauls: Makati, 1995).
_____________. Preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage – Vatican Document Series. (Paulines: Pasay
        City, 1996)
____________. Catechism of the Catholic Church. (Word and Life Publications CBCP/ECCE: Manila, 1997).
___________. The Code of Canon Law. ( Paulines: Pasay City, 2001).
http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/natural-family-planning/what-is-nfp.cfm
 *Notes on the Sacrament of Marriage from Fr. Crisostomo Magbitang, SDB, SThL




13 | P a g e                 Marriage and Family Life

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Marriage seminar (st. peregrine parish)

  • 1. SEMINAR ON THE HOLY SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY St. Peregrine Laziosi Parish, Tunasan, Muntinlupa City Prepared by: Leonard Guiang, OSM 09274057537/ 09481304012 serviammaria@yahoo.com www.greatjojo.blogspot.com I. Sacrament of Marriage 1. What are the common concepts of marriage either in Church or civil aspect?  Union between man and woman  Entered in accordance with law (formality)  For conjugal and family life  Contract of permanent union of two opposite sex  For paper / document for future use  Paglalagay ng sarili sa tahimik (?) 2. What is the sacrament of matrimony?  Matrimony, is a "covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring.  What is covenant? 1. c.1300 used this word 2. from O.Fr. covenant "agreement," originally prp. of covenir "agree, meet,"  from L. convenire "come together" o Applied in Scripture to God's arrangements with man, as a translation of L. testamentum, Gk. diatheke, both rendering Heb. berith (though testament is also used for the same word in different places). 3. Biblical foundation  Genesis 2:22 – 24 The LORD God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When he brought her to the man, the man said: "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.  Ephesians 5:21-30 Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without 1|Page Marriage and Family Life
  • 2. blemish. So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.  1 Peter 3:1-8 Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husband’s so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives' conduct when they observe your reverent and chaste behavior. Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God. For this is also how the holy women who hoped in God once used to adorn them and were subordinate to their husbands; thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him "lord." You are her children when you do what is good and fear no intimidation. Likewise, you husbands should live with your wives in understanding, showing honor (support) to the weaker female sex, since we are joint heirs of the gift of life (children), so that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally, all of you be of one mind, sympathetic, loving toward one another, compassionate, humble.  1 Corinthians 7:1-7,10-,39 Now in regard to the matters about which you wrote: "It is a good thing for a man not to touch a woman,” but because of cases of immorality every man should have his own wife, and every woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his duty toward his wife, and likewise the wife toward her husband. A wife does not have authority over her own body, but rather her husband, and similarly a husband does not have authority over his own body, but rather his wife. Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control. This I say by way of concession, however, not as a command. Indeed, I wish everyone to be as I am, but each has a particular gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the married, however, I give this instruction (not I, but the Lord): a wife should not separate from her husband and if she does separate she must either remain single or become reconciled to her husband -- and a husband should not divorce his wife. A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whomever she wishes, provided that it be in the Lord.  1 Corinthians 11:1-12 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold fast to the traditions, just as I handed them on to you. But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and a husband the head of his wife, and God the head of Christ. … A man, on the other hand, should not cover his head, because he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; nor was man created for woman, but woman for man; for this 2|Page Marriage and Family Life
  • 3. reason a woman should have a sign of authority on her head, because of the angels. Woman is not independent of man or man of woman in the Lord. For just as woman came from man, so man is born of woman; but all things are from God.  Colossians 3:18-21 Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.  Hebrews 13: 4 Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers.  Matthew 19:3 -12 and Mark 10:2-12 Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?" He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate." They said to him, "Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss (her)?" He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries commits adultery." (His) disciples said to him, "If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." He answered, "Not all can accept (this) word, but only those to whom that is granted. Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. 4. Sacrament – is an efficacious sign instituted by Christ that gives grace  Call to holiness  Instituted by Christ (cf. Mt.19)  The author of the contract: God Himself  Symbolizes Christ and the Church (cf. Eph. 5:21-30)  gives grace-relationship with God and the spouses 5. Nature of marriage  Union – spouses’ copulation  Conjugal – properties  Man and woman - gender  Two qualified person – canonical and civil process  Living together for life – Divine blessing for the faithfulness to God and to each other’s vows. (no divorced) 6. Sincere consent of the spouses – (form) important to makes it valid and it must be integral 3|Page Marriage and Family Life
  • 4. 7. Matter of marriage and the ministers  Spouses mutual donation or self-giving 8. Purpose of marriage  For the good of the spouses – mutual affection  Procreation and upbringing of children – generosity and openness to God 9. Properties of marriage  Unity – monogamy  Indissolubility – Divine institution, no divorce – cannot be dissolved 10.Effects of marriage  Perpetual and exclusive bond for the spouses  They receive God’s graces - guidance II. Canon Law: Marriage nullity grounds (Canons 1073-1107) a. Legal Capacity to Marry i. Age – 14 for woman and 16 for man (18 years old in the Philippines) ii. Impotence – not sterility, as long as they can copulate. iii. Pre-existing bond – within Church that has valid bond not the civil wedding. iv. Disparity of cult – mixed marriages between catholic and non- Catholic or non- Christian v. Sacred Orders – ordained ministers vi. Perpetual Vow of Chastity – perpetually professed religious men and women vii. Abduction – if the intention is for marriage in the case of women only. viii. Crime – direct and in direct engage in either in both parties ix. Consanguinity – until the 4th degree in collateral line (first cousin – ask for dispensation from the bishop). x. Affinity – all direct line and the siblings of your partner in the past xi. Public Propriety – public scandal (de facto marriages) xii. Legal Relationship - legally adopted or spiritual relationships b. Integrality of Matrimonial consent i. Psychological incapacity, has no capacity in what they are entering to and how and what are their obligations 1. Lack of sufficient use of reason – insane 2. Lack of due discretion – teen pregnancy, psychological issues, traditional practices 3. Unable to assume obligations (Purpose of marriage) - homosexual (mutual affection), nymphomaniac (marital fidelity) ii. Ignorance – nature, purpose, property of marriage iii. Error – wrong knowledge 1. Substantive error – erroneous judgment about the identity of the person (FB,YM, Pen pal) 2. Attributive error – erroneous judgment about the “quality” of the person (rich but poor person in reality) 4|Page Marriage and Family Life
  • 5. iv. Misconception – wrong knowledge or false judgment about matrimonial fidelity or indissolubility or sacramentality. v. Proxy – absence of the other partner in the rite vi. Simulation – doing the rite on marriage yet not the purpose or any essential of marriage. vii. Condition – “I will marry if ….” Unless there must be written explicitly in front of the bishop. III. Rite of the Sacrament of Matrimony (See the rite itself) Symbols and its meaning: i. Candle – symbolizes Christ. He will be the light of couples and accompany them in their marriage life. God will be their only guide towards proper direction. ii. Rings – symbol of affection / love and fidelity. It represents the very personas of the spouses. iii. Arrhae – symbolizes material resources and support. The husband gives it to his wife with two hands to indicate that it is the duty of the husband to support the wife and the future family /family. iv. Veil – symbolizes the spouses’ living together under one roof, dining together in one table, and sleeping together in one bed. It is placed on the head of the wife to symbolize her promise of love and service to her husband. It is placed on the shoulder of the husband to signify his love and dependability in favor to his wife. v. Cord – symbolizes the confirmation of their marriage bond which is intrinsically one and indissoluble. IV. Family Planning WHAT IS NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING? Natural Family Planning (NFP) is an umbrella term for certain methods used to achieve and avoid pregnancies. These methods are based on observation of the naturally occurring signs and symptoms of the fertile and infertile phases of a woman's menstrual cycle. Couples using NFP to avoid pregnancy abstain from intercourse and genital contact during the fertile phase of the woman's cycle. No drugs, devices, or surgical procedures are used to avoid pregnancy. NFP reflects the dignity of the human person within the context of marriage and family life, promotes openness to life, and recognizes the value of the child. By respecting the love-giving and life-giving natures of marriage, NFP can enrich the bond between husband and wife. Is NFP Rhythm? NFP is not "Rhythm.” The Rhythm (or Calendar) method was developed in the 1930s. It was based on the theory that the time of next ovulation could be determined by calculating previous menstrual cycles. This method often proved inaccurate because of the unique nature of each woman's menstrual cycle: some women have very irregular cycles and almost all women have a cycle of unusual length once in a while. On the other hand, NFP methods are progressive. That is, they are based on progressive, day-to- day observations of the naturally occurring signs and symptoms of the fertile and infertile phases of 5|Page Marriage and Family Life
  • 6. the menstrual cycle. NFP methods take advantage of the changes associated with ovulation, treating each cycle as unique. Couples using NFP to avoid pregnancy abstain from intercourse during the fertile phase of the woman's cycle. Couples who wish to achieve a pregnancy can also take advantage of the fertile time of the cycle. Because it allows couples to adjust their behavior to the naturally occurring cycles of a woman's body, NFP is not a contraceptive--i.e., it does nothing to work against conception. Who can use NFP? Any married couple can use NFP! A woman need not have "regular" cycles. NFP education helps couples to fully understand their combined fertility, thereby helping them to either achieve or avoid a pregnancy. The key to the successful use of NFP is cooperation and communication between husband and wife--a shared commitment. As a method of family planning, NFP  Calls for mutual responsibility by husband and wife  Requires the couple to communicate  Is based on scientific research  Treats each menstrual cycle as unique and teaches a couple to observe their signs of fertility on a day-to-day bases  Has no harmful side effects  Is effective for those wanting to achieve or avoid pregnancy  Can be used in special circumstances--such as, post-partum, during breastfeeding, and premenopause  Is virtually cost free! NFP is unique among methods of family planning because it enables its users to work with the body rather than against it. Fertility is viewed as a reality to live, not a problem to be solved. What are the signs of fertility? A woman's body provides three basic ways to identify the fertile and infertile times of her cycle. Recognizing the pattern of those physical signs forms the basis for all methods of NFP. A primary sign of fertility is the mucus released from the women's cervix. A woman learns to identify the normal, healthy, cervical mucus which indicates the days that intercourse is most likely to result in a pregnancy. The second sign is her basal body temperature. Due to hormonal activity, a woman's waking temperature changes during the menstrual cycle. Lower temperatures indicate that ovulation has not yet occurred. Higher temperatures indicate a rise in progesterone which signals the end of the fertile time. The third sign is a change in the shape or texture of the cervix. Finally, secondary signs, such as minor abdominal pain or pressure at the time of ovulation can also be observed. How does NFP work? NFP instruction helps a couple identify the most opportune time to achieve as well as avoid a pregnancy. Understanding that intercourse or genital contact during the fertile time can result in pregnancy, couples using the natural methods must be clear regarding their family planning intention- -that is, do they wish to achieve or avoid a pregnancy? If a couple wishes to achieve pregnancy, they have intercourse during the fertile time. If a couple wishes to avoid pregnancy, they abstain from intercourse and any genital contact during the fertile 6|Page Marriage and Family Life
  • 7. time. No artificial methods are used during the fertile time. These would interfere with a women's observation of her fertility signs. What are the benefits of using NFP? In NFP both spouses are taught to understand the nature of fertility and work with it, either to plan a pregnancy or to avoid a pregnancy. Couples who use NFP soon learn that they have a shared responsibility for family planning. Husbands are encouraged to "tune into" their wives' cycles and both spouses are encouraged to speak openly and frankly about their sexual desires and their ideas on family size. Other benefits include:  Low cost  No harmful side effects  Effectiveness for achieving, spacing, or limiting pregnancy  Can be used throughout the reproductive life cycle  Marriage enrichment and mutual understanding  Appreciation for the value of children  Fosters respect for and acceptance of the total person  Moral acceptability How effective are the natural family planning methods for avoiding pregnancy? When couples understand the methods and are motivated to follow them, NFP is up to 99% successful in spacing or limiting births. The effectiveness of NFP depends upon the spouses' following the rules of the method according to their family planning intention (i.e., achieving or limiting pregnancy). Those who are strongly motivated to avoid pregnancy and follow the method-defined rules are very effective in meeting their goal. ***** Where can I learn how to use NFP? The best way to learn NFP is from a qualified instructor-- that is, one who is certified from an NFP teacher training program. Although medical professionals are gradually learning more about NFP and becoming more supportive of patients who wish to use it, they are not often trained to teach NFP. Contact your local Catholic Office of Marriage and Family Life to find a certified NFP teacher. What are the requirements in Family planning? Family planning requires decisions of conscience that must respect the law of God and the teaching authority of the Church in Christ Jesus which authentically interprets the divine law. What is the meaning of Marital Intercourse? Marital intercourse is a natural sacrament because it is a sign of the wisdom of the design of God for human persons. It is a symbol of an expression of two human beings who have vowed to openness, the weakness, the mutual self-giving of covenant love. The integrity of marital intercourse and fertility acceptance are the concern of the Church. In Church teachings has highlighted the values of dialogue, reciprocal respect, shared responsibility, self-control. 7|Page Marriage and Family Life
  • 8. Differences of Natural and Artificial Family planning Natural means of family planning (NFP) Artificial means of family planning (contraception) 1. It does not interfere with the natural 1. It did not accept by altering or reproductive system and process designed by destroying fertility given and designed God. Accepts Fertility, integrating into mutual by God self-giving. Accepts the design by God by 2. Not acceptable to all religions and exercising dominion (stewardship) cultures. 2. Morally acceptable to all religions and 3. All contraceptive and abortifacient cultures. methods that are using it remain 3. Avoids the use of mechanical devices or ignorant about the beauty of their body powerful hormones which may have harmful and subduing them with it chemicals effects. that cause sickness and diseases. 4. It is among the most effective methods of 4. Not acceptable to the moral teachings of nonpermanent fertility regulation known the Church given by God in Jesus. when learned and used properly -- up to 99 5. It destroys the essentials of marriage percent. (see short film) (good of the spouses and generating 5. Essentially free of charge. Where to this point children.) is particularly crucial in areas of developing 6. It attempts to eliminate the procreative countries where health care is rudimentary meaning of marital love from the symbol and expensive. of self-giving. 6. Strengthens marriage and family. It allows 7. It trivializes sex and undermines the husband and wife to have the dignity of covenant of marriage (the promise of actual stewardship of the gift of fertility total self-giving and mutual acceptance) according to their unique circumstances. It 8. The human bodies become sub-personal fosters sexual self-control, which is central or object of desire which is against the and essential to human freedom, true love human dignity (Act upon it even to and maturity. It also sets a good example of destroying it.) chastity in married life for teenaged children. 9. Redesign creation through manipulation 7. Beautiful and creative. Of all of the methods (dominion) of fertility regulation, only NFP allows the 10. Behaviorally antiprocreative couple to make love as God and nature 11. Controls biology and creates intended. dependency. 8. Women and men learn about their bodies 12. It requires synthetic hormones and and work with them and NFP allows devices. husbands to more intimately understand the 13. Against conception as the word pertains. psychology of their wives by understanding Not natural in which it endangers human the nature of their menstrual cycles. health especially the woman. 9. It requires growth in self-control, self- 14. It is against human life so it is a sin and sacrifice, dying of self, and other virtues an abuse to oneself needed by those who want to follow Christ. 15. It destroys human life specially women and the life of the unborn 8|Page Marriage and Family Life
  • 9. Kinds of Natural Family Planning methods There are four basic types of natural family planning: (1) the "rhythm" or calendar method, also known as the Ogino-Knaus method; (2) the Basal Body Temperature (BBT) method; (3) the ovulation method; and a. Normal - 21 to 35 days. 14 days before ovulation b. Abnormal - Less than 21 or more than 35. c. Use every morning observation (4) the Sympto-Thermal Method (STM).[2] a. 2 degrees up when ovulation method. b. Use thermometer Four aspects of Responsible Parenthood (from Humanae Vitae #10) 1. The knowledge and respect of reproductive process which are integral parts of human person. 2. The integration of the tendencies of instinct or passion or desire with our reason and freewill. 3. Consideration of the physical , economic, psychological, and social conditions in relation to which couples generously decide to have several children or for serious reasons, to limit their family size. 4. A profound relationship with moral order established by God through the formation of conscience. (Two key aspects in the formation of conscience: (1) there must be absolute fundamental in understanding the dignity of the human person in his or her relationship with God and (2) as a practical moral guide in making judgments and decisions in life.) Reminders for good marriage and family life (acronym) PUT God at the center of our life especially in the relationship P – Patience U – Understanding T – Trust LET God be always in our life L – Love E – Encouragement T – Truth "If I had to change my religious beliefs, I would not marry the person that I love because the first person that I love is God who created me and I have my faith and my principles and this is what makes me who I am. And if that person loves me, he should love my God too." - Shamcey Supsup at Sao Paolo 9.12.11 9|Page Marriage and Family Life
  • 10. Article 1, Reflection on Marriage Our world today is a world of uncertainties most of the time we are not sure of the truthfulness of a thing. We need proofs in order to believe and to trust someone. We are in a mode of assurance. But how do we know for sure about it? We had a lot of questions in our life and sometimes it leads us to confusion. Family life is one of the vocations in the Church that a person can choose. If we think of a family, what we are thinking about? What makes the family a family? Can we consider a family when failures occur or not? These questions will help us to reflect the value of a family in the Christian sense. But another question again is that what makes the Christian family unique from the other families in the world? Let us see and reflect first what marriage is in the Catholic perspective. Marriage is an institution or we can say oldest human institution. Let us remember that every tribe composed of families or the clan system. And the tribe or clan will group together by agreeing some laws they are forming a government. This is so prevalent in the Philippine history and so true also to other human histories in the world. In our early days of education, the definition of the family is the vital cell of the society. From that meaning we can already learn what a family is. The word ‘vital’ which also means life; when there is life there is the dynamism or interactions. It is true to every family, there must be interaction it is because marriage life or family life is relational. Every relationship is always mutual that is why we have the dialogue. So therefore, family life needs to have the dialogue so that it will maintain the healthy relationships and every problem will be solved within it in every way on it. The word ‘cell’ which also means a small part in the bigger body; our human body composed of cells. If every cell is well so it follows that our body will be healthy. The word ‘society’ which also means companionship; it is a companionship of people living together orderly. There is the aspect of order. Usually, every person would seek orderliness. Why order? It is because from orderliness human being finds himself or herself who he/she is. If everything in order it is good to live in happiness. The Church considers that meaning but it is also affirm the teaching of the Lord that Marriage is one of the sacraments. What a sacrament? Sacrament is an efficacious sign instituted by Christ that gives grace. When we define as efficacious it is effective sign. Sign of what: sign of the love of Christ to the Church (cf. Eph. 5:21-32). Its effectiveness is based on the power of God who will bless the couples. It is instituted by Christ, in which when He affirmed the word of God in the book of Genesis (cf. Gen 2:24), when he said with explanations, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate." (cf. Matthew 19:4-6). It is Christ who made the sacraments and not the Church. So marriage is not only simply an institution but it has the divine foundation. So let us take seriously on it. It has responsibilities to carry on but of course do not be afraid for the reason that God is with us and who will in us always. (cf. Matthew 1:23; 28:20). It gives grace; it is naturally because it is instituted by Christ. When we say ‘grace’ in the liturgy it is relationship. It helps us to be in good relationship with the Lord. A relationship that helps us to grow in holiness of life and to fulfill our duties as baptized Catholic Christians. I will end this article by quoting the Catechism of the Catholic Church: God, infinitely perfect and blessed in himself, in a plan of sheer goodness freely created man to make him share in his own blessed life. For this reason, at every time and in every place, God draws close to man. He calls man to seek him, to know him, to love him with all his strength. He calls together all men, scattered and divided by sin, into the unity of his family, the Church. To accomplish this, when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son as Redeemer and Savior. In his Son and through him, he invites men to become, in the Holy Spirit, his adopted children and thus heirs of his blessed life. (CCC Prologue. I: 1) 10 | P a g e Marriage and Family Life
  • 11. Article 2, Reflection on Marriage Family life is the life of the state. It is the life force of the society in achieving the ultimate goal. A good and morally upright society reflects good family. Moreover, the very source of good moral state leader is formed in the family; and also the sanctuary and place of formation for good citizens of the state. In the article 2 section 12 of the 1987 Philippine Constitution, it embraces the sacredness of family life, and in which the state must protect and strengthen the family as the strong foundation of the society. The state must protect the life of the mothers and the life of the unborn from the moment of conception. In addition, the parents should nurture their children in connection to the state. It says that the natural as well as the primary right and responsibility of each parents is to raise their children as good citizens in nurturing them with moral character. It is very clear in the Philippine constitution the importance of the family in the society. Moreover, in section 11 in the same article it says that the state gives value and respect the dignity of each human person in which it is the foundational aspect for the protection of life. The dignity and human life is sacred. That is why every person must be respected so that real progress and development be prospered. Married couples must be responsible to one another and the state must guarantee on it by maintaining the peace and order in the society by providing and implementing the laws that protect each individuals. Husband must do his responsibility at the service of love towards his wife and his children by proving their basic needs in life. He must work in order to provide the necessities of their life. He must do it as a good and morally upright citizen and as member of his family. The wife must take care and oversee if the children and her husband do their work well so that there will be assurance of good relationship in the family. A good family depends on the goodness of the couples. Let the couples not be slaves of one another but as husbands and wives, servants of one another. True service can be and be manifested by being responsible in the family. Marriage is not simply a "religious" construct. The Natural Law reveals - and the cross cultural history of civilization affirms - that marriage is between a man and a woman, open to children and intended for life. Marriage is the foundation for the family which is the privileged place for the formation of virtue and character in children, our future citizens. The family is the first society, first economy, first school, first civilizing and mediating institution and first government. In his apostolic exhortation on the Eucharist, the Sacrament of Charity, Pope Benedict summarized the duty of the Catholic faithful when confronted with this assault on authentic marriage: "Marriage and the family are institutions that must be promoted and defended from every possible misrepresentation of their true nature, since whatever is injurious to them is injurious to society itself." The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith of the Catholic Church wrote in 2003, "The Church's teaching on marriage and on the complementarity of the sexes reiterates a truth that is evident to right reason and recognized as such by all the major cultures of the world. Marriage is not just any relationship between human beings. It was established by the Creator with its own nature, essential properties and purpose. No ideology can erase from the human spirit the certainty that marriage exists solely between a man and a woman, who by mutual personal gift, proper and exclusive to themselves, tend toward the communion of their persons. In this way, they mutually perfect each other, in order to cooperate with God in the procreation and upbringing of new human lives. 11 | P a g e Marriage and Family Life
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