Depression is different from other illnesses in that, in addition to the physiological symptoms (loss of appetite, nervousness, sleeplessness, fatigue), there are the accompanying thoughts that can be so incredibly painful.

1. How to Let Go of the Thoughts That
Cause Depression
By Therese Borchard
PublishedMar 24, 2016
Staying in the moment and practicing self-
compassion can help relieve the thoughts that
cause depression.
Depression is different from other illnesses in that,
in addition to the physiological symptoms (loss of
appetite, nervousness, sleeplessness, fatigue),
there are the accompanying thoughts that can be
so incredibly painful.
For example, when my Raynaud’s flares up, the
numbness in my fingers can be uncomfortable, but
it doesn’t tell me that I am worthless, pathetic,
and that things will never ever get better. During
severe depressive episodes, however, these
thoughts can be life-threatening: They insist that
the only way out of the pain is to leave this world.
Being able to manage our thought stream will
direct us toward health, as our thoughts are
constantly communicating with the various
systems of our body, either sending certain glands
or organs an SOS in distress, or a note that
everything is fine, resulting in calm. But being able

2. to harness this craziness in the midstof depression
and anxiety is so very difficult.
Here are some of the ways I try to let go of the
thoughts that cause depression and anxiety. Some
days I am much more successful than others.
Identify the Distortions
I have benefited immensely from David Burns’
book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy —
from doing the cognitive behavioral therapy
exercises he prescribes to identifying the various
distortions in my own thinking that he presents in
his book and his workbook. They include:
All-or-nothing thinking You look at things in
absolute, black-and-white categories.
Overgeneralization You view a negative event as a
never-ending pattern of defeat.
Mental filter You dwell on the negatives and
ignore the positives.
Discounting the positives You insist that your
accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count
(my college diploma was a stroke of luck … really,
it was).

3. Jumping to conclusions You conclude things are
bad without any definite evidence. These include
mind reading (assuming that people are reacting
negatively to you) and fortune telling (predicting
that things will turn out badly).
Magnification or minimization You blow things
way out of proportion or you shrink their
importance.
Emotional reasoning You reason from how you
feel: “I feel like an idiot, so I mustbe one.”
“Should” statements You criticize yourself or other
people with “shoulds,” “shouldn’ts,” “musts,”
“oughts,” and “have-tos.”
Labeling Instead of saying, “I made a mistake,” you
tell yourself, “I’m a jerk” or “I’m a loser.”
Blame You blame yourself for something you
weren’t entirely responsible for, or you blame
other people and overlook ways that you
contributed to a problem.
It doesn’t take long to identify one or more of
these in your thinking. Just recognizing these traps

4. can be helpful. You might then try one of the
methods listed in Burns’ 15 Ways to Untwist Your
Thinking. A warning, though: I’d wait until you
have emerged from a severe depressive episode
before you attempt some of these exercises. I’ve
made the mistake of trying too hard to “fix” my
thinking during severe depression, which has
made it worse. It’s better to focus on the other
ways listed below.
Focus on the Present
Although every self-help book I read touches on
this, I am just beginning to really learn what it
means to focus on the present and to appreciate
the healing power of mindfulness, which,
according to meditation teacher and bestselling
author Jon Kabat-Zinn, is “paying attention in a
particular way: on purpose, in the present
moment, and nonjudgmentally.” If we continue to
practice this, he explains, “this kind of attention
nurtures greater awareness, clarity, and
acceptance of the present-moment reality.” It’s
not that we don’t feel the hurt, rage, and sadness
that lives at the surface of our minds. It’s not an
attempt to escape all the suffering that is there.
But if we can observe all of our projections into
the past and future — and all of the judgments
that are part of our thought stream — and simply

5. get back to what is happening right now, right
here, we can allow a little room between our
thoughts and our reality. With some awareness,
we can begin to detach from the stories that we
spin and from the commentaries that are so often
feeding our pain.
One of the best ways we stay present is by keeping
our attention on our breath. Vietnamese Zen
Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh instructs us that with
each in-breath, we might say, “Breathing in, I
know that I am breathing in.” And with each out-
breath, “Breathing out, I know I am breathing
out.” In his book You Are Here, he explains that
mindful breathing is a kind of bridge that brings
the body and the mind together. We start by this
simple gesture of watching our breath, and then
by this mindfulness of breath we begin to stich the
body and mind together and generate a calm that
will penetrate both.
Apply Self-Compassion
“Self-compassion doesn’t eradicate pain or
negative experiences,” Kristin Neff, PhD, explains
in her book Self-Compassion. “It just embraces
them with kindness and gives them space to
transform on their own.” It gives us the “calm
courage needed to face our unwanted emotions

6. head-on.” When I’m in the mostpain — especially
during a severe depressive episode — it is self-
compassion more than anything else (cognitive
behavioral therapy techniques, mindful breathing,
etc.) that saves me and restores me to sanity. Nhat
Hanh says that we should treat our depression
tenderly, as we would treat a child. He writes:
If you feel irritation or depression or despair,
recognize their presence and practice this mantra:
“Dear one, I am here for you.” You should talk to
your depression or your anger just as you would to
a child. You embrace it tenderly with the energy of
mindfulness and say, “Dear one, I know you are
there, and I am going to take care of you,” just as
you would with your crying baby.
It is so easy to be so cruel to ourselves without
even realizing it. The ruminations that are part of
depression beat us down and shred us until there
is practically nothing there. That’s why it is so
critical to apply self-compassion from the start,
and treat ourselves, as well as our depression, as
the scared little child that needs comforting, not
scorn.

7. Acknowledge the Transience of Things
One of my favorite prayers is St. Teresa of Avila’s
“Bookmark” that says:
Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing;
God only is changeless.
Patience gains all things.
Who has God wants nothing.
God alone suffices.
If the religious language bothers you, Eckhart Tolle
says much the same when he writes in A New
Earth:
Once you see and accept the transience of all
things and the inevitability of change, you can
enjoy the pleasures of the world while they last
without fear of loss or anxiety about the future.
When you are detached, you gain a higher vantage

8. point from which to view the event in your life
instead of being trapped inside them.
Absolutely everything, especially our feelings and
emotions, is impermanent. By simply
remembering that nothing ever stays, I am freed
from the suffocating thoughts of my depression —
the formidable fear that this sadness will always
be with me, as well as the circumstances that are
causing it. By acknowledging the transience of life,
I am again called to pay attention to the present
moment, where there is more peace and calm
than I think.
Posted in: Depression