1. Cultivating Your Child’s Character
Krista Keintz, MS BCBA!
January 2014!

2. Agenda
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Introductions!
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Cultivating Character!
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Your Character Inheritance!
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Yearly. Schedule!
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Monthly. Planning Time!
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Daily. Practice Happy!
image via 5feet20.com!

3. Welcome, introductions
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Board Certified Behavior Analyst - science in which the analysis of
behavior are applied systematically to improve social significant
behavior... in other words, the science of learning!
Montessori Educator - drawn to the concept of the prepared
environment and the possibility for meaningful, individualized
education in a group-setting!
Unlikely pairing of disciplines but experience has proven them to
have a powerful synergy!

4. Introducing, you!
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A little survey with a show of hands...!
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How old are your children? Younger than two? Toddler community?
Three-to-six classroom? Six-to-nine classroom? Older than nine?!
How many children are in your family? One? Two? Three? Four?
More?!
(no show of hands) Would you say that you have been successful
teaching your children self control self discipline? Yes or No?!

5. Cultivating Character
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Only 34% of parents say they have been successful teaching their
children self control self discipline (Public Agenda, 2002) !
Character is not an item of knowledge which can be taught through
learning or imitation. It is a conquest made during life through
personal exercise and through personal experience. (Dr. Maria
Montessori, A New World Education)!
Whether habits are planned and created conscientiously, or allowed to
be haphazardly filled in by chance, they are habits all the same. Habit
rules ninety-nine percent of everything we do. (Charlotte Mason)!

6. Your Turn.
Your Character Inheritance
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Five minutes of reflection...!
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What 5 character qualities were most valued in your family of
origin?!
Which of these would your best friend say describe you?!
What 5 character qualities do your children see you demonstrate
most often?!

7. Cookie Cutter?
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Tonight I will be sharing a
framework which is yours to
personalize...a starting point
for your own journey as a
family this year!
Not intended to be used for
didactic teaching of character!
Dr. Montessori reminds, “Do
not tell them how to do it. Show
them how to do it and do not say
a word. If you tell them they will
watch your lips move. If you
show them, they will want to do
it themselves.” !
image via themomiwanttobe.com!

8. Cultivating
Character
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Challenge One: Real life
often gets in the way of our
best intentions (Only 8% of
people are successful at
keeping their New Year’s
resolutions) !
Goal One: Help each
family create space to
define their own intentional
parenting practices (specific
resolutions = 10x more
likely to meet their goals)!
Source: University of Scranton. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2014

9. Cultivating
Character
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Challenge Two: Cultivating
character is an expansive
task more information is
not always more (Jam Study:
24 jams, 60% try, 3% buy; 6
jams, 40% try, 30% buy)!
Goal Two: Support parents
as they prioritize and
simplify their approach to
cultivating character in
their children!
Source: Iyengar Lepper. Journal of Personality Social Psychology, 2000

10. Cultivating Character Framework
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Challenge Three: Nebulous parent guilt is prolific because
progress is often missed as new challenges arise because
perfection can be the enemy of satisfaction (Maximizers show less
commitment to their choices than satisfiers in a way that leaves
them less satisfied with their choices.)!
Goal Three: Enrich daily practices at home that will result in
meaningful measurable outcomes.!
Source: Sparks, Ehrlinger, Eibach. Personality and Individual Differences, 2012

11. Yearly.
Schedule Character Planning Time
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Pick the same child-free time
every month (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th)
(day of the week) every month
for 20-min Planning Time!
Write on 2014 calendar!
Consider using google
invitation reminders!
Your turn...!
image via photo.elsoar.com!

12. Monthly.
Character Planning Time
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Make it a special, grown-up
only time!
You will take 4 steps during
your planning time each month!
Plan for 15-30 minute time
commitment each month!
You’ll need your Character
Calendar, knowledge of your
personal library or internet!
image via lilsugar.com!

13. Character
Planning Time
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One. Select one character
quality that is in line with your
family values seems
appropriate for your child to
place special emphasis for the
month and write in the left
column on your Cultivating
Character Calendar!

14. Character Planning Time
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Two. Write down concrete (i.e. act-out-able) definition of what that
character quality would looks like in action in your family in the right
column of your Cultivating Character Calendar!
Look for a specific, developmentally-appropriate action to practice!
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Toddler: “I demonstrate patience when I sit wait when asked for
30 seconds without getting up.”!
3/6: “I demonstrate patience when I quietly play with my Super
Special Box toys while mom is on the phone.”!
6/9: “I demonstrate patience by making a paper chain to count
down to special events”!

15. Character
Planning Time
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Three. Select a new story to
enhance your library that
showcases to character quality
and record on the Resources
side of your calendar!
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Consider using library
books, Starring You How To
Story, video clip or personal
anecdotes!
Books should be beautiful
have literary merit on their
own!

16. Character
Planning Time
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Four. Select a meaningful way
for your family to celebrate
demonstration of the character
quality for the month and
record on the Resources side of
your calendar!
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3/6: Extra just me mom
time after phone call!
6/9: Special outing with dad
to zoo after week of waiting!

17. Your Turn.
Character Planning Time
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Select one character quality that is in line with your
family values seems appropriate for your child to
place special emphasis for the month and write in
the left column on your Cultivating Character
Calendar !
Write down specific, concrete (i.e. act-out-able)
definition of what that character quality would looks
like in action in your family in the right column of
your Cultivating Character Calendar!
Select one new story (library book, Starring Me
Story, video clip or personal anecdote) that is
relevant to the character quality and record on the
Resources side of your calendar!
Select a meaningful way for your family to celebrate
demonstration of the character quality for the month
and record on the Resources side of your calendar!
image via vintage.es!

18. Daily.
Practice Happy
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Model. Children should see you
authentically engaging in the character
quality this month. !
Read Aloud. Read or tell stories that
showcase the real-life value of a
particular character trait. !
Role Play. Create FUN invitations to
practice using the new skills. Personal
exercise experience trump lectures!!
Celebrate. Flip the “go to the
principal’s office” paradigm. Celebrate
the good highlight the natural
positive consequences. !
image via nurturingparentsandteachers.com!

19. Character Qualities Resources
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Character First: www.characterfirst.com/qualities/!
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Josephson Institute: www.charactercounts.org/sixpillars.html!
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Character Education Partnership: www.character.org/!
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Picture Book Recommendations: www.apsva.us/cms/lib2/VA01000586/
Centricity/Domain/287/character-traits-hfj.pdf!
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Ask your child’s classroom teacher for reading recommendations!
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Visit the biehus blog: www.biehus.wordpress.org!
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Resources drawn from religious texts meaningful to your family!

20. Intelligence is not enough. Intelligence plus character... that is the true
goal of education. - Martin Luther King, Jr.!
Krista Keintz!
biehus.wordpress.com!
biehuschicago@gmail.com!