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Insufficient Funds
1. me and my money | Money
I 2
’ve always been financially get an extra job
irresponsible. It’s something that Back in my heyday I had three
has followed me around since
my youth like a stray cat. I want INSUFFICIENT jobs – and I’d have no problem
doing it again. But with 440,000
something, I buy it, then think about
the consequences later – about FUNDS people signing on the live register
at last count I don’t think a job,
two weeks later when I pop my never mind an extra job, would be
bank card into the machine and, easy to come by.
instead of politely asking what
denomination I’d like that b100
in, ‘YOU HAVE INSUFFICIENT
FUNDS IN YOUR ACCOUNT’
3 save
Well there’s a lot to be said
for saving – apparently. The ex
flashes up on the screen in great, loved it. I mean really loved it.
big bold lettering, so I have no doubt And he made it look so easy. I’m
that the ATM is shouting at me for sure if I gave up my magic bean/
being so careless with my cash. diamond shoes/tiara habit, the
This recklessness with my coffers would thank me for it. But
funds hasn’t really posed much then again, I’d have to give up the
of a problem thus far. I live with life I’m accustomed to. Well I say
my parents, therefore there’s life, but I mean the first two weeks
always food in the fridge, the after payday.
bills are paid and I don’t have to
worry about pesky little things
like remembering that shower
gel doesn’t just appear in the
4 selling an organ
There are a few bits and
pieces I could manage without,
bathroom, nor does it grow on the like the appendix. Unfortunately,
shower gel tree. Granted, I have after a bit of market research I
A noble truth
indeed enjoyed the last number found that there isn’t much of a
of years (a large number at last market for the ticking time bomb of
count) having my washing done, the human anatomy.
my dinner made (embarrassingly,
also my breakfast) and my clothes After reviewing my options –
ironed and popped back into my and desperately racking my brain
wardrobe, I figure it’s high time I
When a lifetime spender decides to for alternatives that were not
fend for myself. become a solid saver, it’s a magical forthcoming – I decided saving
This is where my pesky moment, something ‘Buddhistical’ takes might be the most plausible route.
recklessness becomes a problem. So having made my life-altering
I want to move out, but my ability
place. Laura Bury recounts her moment decision, I set out to procrastinate
to spend all of my money in a of clarity over a peppermint mocha twist. for a bit (one of my other great
matter of days has really hindered afflictions) and start next month.
my savings. By hindered I mean My soon-to-be housemate is,
they’re non-existent. I can just hear my ex- at the moment, only partially employed and as
boyfriend in the back of my head whispering So I’ve been thinking through my options. such I was under the assumption he wouldn’t be
‘I told you so’ and I’m big enough to admit able to afford to move out for quite some time.
(although not to his face) that he may have
been right about those rainy days. I assumed
this was all nonsense, made up by the same
1 get a loan
This has the benefit of providing me with
the lump sum necessary for my deposit and
Apparently, even those who don’t earn a regular
salary can also manage to save more than I
can, as only yesterday he informed me that he
scaremongers who said your eyes would go first month’s rent and letting me pay it back in was ready to break out the removal van, bagsie
square if you sat too close to the TV. manageable instalments over a specified period a bedroom and get on to the bank about that
How wrong I was. Lo and behold that rainy of time. The snag? My bank has decided that direct debit to the landlord.
day has come and I have not an umbrella, you have to earn more than John O’Donoghue So now the heat is on to jump on board the
shelter, hood – nay, a newspaper, to hold over got in expenses before they’ll give you a loan. relocation train, next stop Savingsville. Unless
my head. Eh, wouldn’t need a loan if I earned that much. of course… anyone in need of an appendix?
NOVEMBER 2009 | You & Your MoneY 33