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DRAGON THEATRE BOARD RETREAT


LEDA KARABELA, P.C.C. LEADERSHIP COACH
WWW.YHESITATE.COM



DEC. 3, 2011
                                         1
Some of The Things That Make You
         Uncomfortable

                or

 the $41 Trillion Dollar Conundrum



                                     2
Questions



IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY I
ASK YOU SOMETHING, THEN,
DON’T ANSWER ME!
                                3
Asking for $ is like…




                        4
Why?

1.5 million nonprofits survive on an average of
             $224 billion per year

   Can you secure the consistent, imaginative
    support of board members, staff , other
volunteers in planning campaigns and asking for
                    money?

                                                  5
Back to the Basics: Needs That Drive Us



Certainty
Uncertainty
Significance
Connection
Growth/Need to Grow
Contribution


                                      6
Perceptions

Let’s Play…

The $100 experiment

What’s at play here?



                             7
What Does $ Mean To You?
•   ____Survival – basic needs, food, clothing and shelter
•   ____Security – adequate retirement funds
•   ____Freedom of choice – greater variety in selection
•   ____Pleasure – vacation, travel, hobbies
•   ____Love – express affection by giving generously to others
•   ____Power – means of controlling or dominating others
•   ____Prestige – wealth represents approval and influence
•   ____Compensation – money can be used to “fix”hurt feelings
•   ____Self-development – money is used to learn new skills
•   ____Independence – financially self-supporting
•   ____Unimportant – money does not matter

                                                                  8
9
Adopting a more inclusive/open perspective

NO “I” IN TASK

                                             10
Random Acts




              11
12
Dragon & You
• Why Dragon?

• Why Now?

• How much? (Scripta manent?)

• What Are YOU willing to give TODAY?

                                        13
The Math

•   1X200,000
•   2X100,000
•   20 x 10,000
•   200 x 1,000
•   2,000 x 100
•   20,000 X 10

                             14
Fears

• People think that asking for money is all
  about asking for money

• People think that storytelling is a gift, not a skill

• Money = Power

• I’m terrified you’ll say ‘no.’
                                                      15
The Fear and Loathing of
             Fundraising

       Rejection is the most common fear

"If I ask a colleague for a contribution and he or
she says 'no,' then, like the wicked witch in The
Wizard of Oz, I will melt into the floor, never to
be heard from again…."


                                                 16
The Role of Boards
The access to funding sources

Understanding of the development process

Participation in soliciting gifts

The Board’s percentage of gift participation in
 reaching goal
                                                   17
Some Qs
• How much money is needed to fund specific productions and
services, pay for day-to-day operations?
• Which current income source generates the largest share of
income? Is that source expected to shrink? Grow? Stay the
same?
• Which income sources are the most reliable? What can you
really count on?
• Which income sources are the least reliable? What might be
“here today, gone tomorrow”?
• Which income sources, regardless of size, have the most
growth potential?

                                                               18
19
The World
 and You




            20
“Transfer of Confidence”




                           21
Unorthodox Rx
   • Positive Emotion (the pleasant life/well being)
   • Engagement (did time stop for you)
   • Relationships (and how we share life with other
     people)
   • Meaning (believing and serving something bigger
     than yourself)
   • Accomplishment/achievement (what you choose to
     do for its own sake – without anyone forcing you to
     do it).

Martin Seligman: Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being   22
23
Acting It Out

IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A BAD
GUY?

                                 24
Thank You!
   Leda Karabela
 www.yhesitate.com
leda@yhesitate.com




                     25

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Philanthropy and Board Members: To Ask or Not to Ask?

  • 1. DRAGON THEATRE BOARD RETREAT LEDA KARABELA, P.C.C. LEADERSHIP COACH WWW.YHESITATE.COM DEC. 3, 2011 1
  • 2. Some of The Things That Make You Uncomfortable or the $41 Trillion Dollar Conundrum 2
  • 3. Questions IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY I ASK YOU SOMETHING, THEN, DON’T ANSWER ME! 3
  • 4. Asking for $ is like… 4
  • 5. Why? 1.5 million nonprofits survive on an average of $224 billion per year Can you secure the consistent, imaginative support of board members, staff , other volunteers in planning campaigns and asking for money? 5
  • 6. Back to the Basics: Needs That Drive Us Certainty Uncertainty Significance Connection Growth/Need to Grow Contribution 6
  • 7. Perceptions Let’s Play… The $100 experiment What’s at play here? 7
  • 8. What Does $ Mean To You? • ____Survival – basic needs, food, clothing and shelter • ____Security – adequate retirement funds • ____Freedom of choice – greater variety in selection • ____Pleasure – vacation, travel, hobbies • ____Love – express affection by giving generously to others • ____Power – means of controlling or dominating others • ____Prestige – wealth represents approval and influence • ____Compensation – money can be used to “fix”hurt feelings • ____Self-development – money is used to learn new skills • ____Independence – financially self-supporting • ____Unimportant – money does not matter 8
  • 9. 9
  • 10. Adopting a more inclusive/open perspective NO “I” IN TASK 10
  • 12. 12
  • 13. Dragon & You • Why Dragon? • Why Now? • How much? (Scripta manent?) • What Are YOU willing to give TODAY? 13
  • 14. The Math • 1X200,000 • 2X100,000 • 20 x 10,000 • 200 x 1,000 • 2,000 x 100 • 20,000 X 10 14
  • 15. Fears • People think that asking for money is all about asking for money • People think that storytelling is a gift, not a skill • Money = Power • I’m terrified you’ll say ‘no.’ 15
  • 16. The Fear and Loathing of Fundraising Rejection is the most common fear "If I ask a colleague for a contribution and he or she says 'no,' then, like the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz, I will melt into the floor, never to be heard from again…." 16
  • 17. The Role of Boards The access to funding sources Understanding of the development process Participation in soliciting gifts The Board’s percentage of gift participation in reaching goal 17
  • 18. Some Qs • How much money is needed to fund specific productions and services, pay for day-to-day operations? • Which current income source generates the largest share of income? Is that source expected to shrink? Grow? Stay the same? • Which income sources are the most reliable? What can you really count on? • Which income sources are the least reliable? What might be “here today, gone tomorrow”? • Which income sources, regardless of size, have the most growth potential? 18
  • 19. 19
  • 20. The World and You 20
  • 22. Unorthodox Rx • Positive Emotion (the pleasant life/well being) • Engagement (did time stop for you) • Relationships (and how we share life with other people) • Meaning (believing and serving something bigger than yourself) • Accomplishment/achievement (what you choose to do for its own sake – without anyone forcing you to do it). Martin Seligman: Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being 22
  • 23. 23
  • 24. Acting It Out IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A BAD GUY? 24
  • 25. Thank You! Leda Karabela www.yhesitate.com leda@yhesitate.com 25

Notas del editor

  1. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT ? BECAUSE OF FEAR THEY MIGHT HURT YOUR CAREERS, MAKE YOU LOOK VULNERABLE, NOT CAPABLE…TOO RESISTANT AND HESITANT TO DISCUSS Uncomfortable emotions….hear them, this is how you learn…Comfort or achieve your full potential – you cannot dive in and swim if you are comfortable. 
  2. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT ? BECAUSE OF FEAR THEY MIGHT HURT YOUR CAREERS, MAKE YOU LOOK VULNERABLE, NOT CAPABLE…TOO RESISTANT AND HESITANT TO DISCUSS Uncomfortable emotions….hear them, this is how you learn…Comfort or achieve your full potential – you cannot dive in and swim if you are comfortable. 
  3. CHANGE: like a bomb detonation…
  4. ABRAHAM MANSLOW/BRANDEIS: Humanistic PsychologyHuman beings are motivated by unsatisfied needs, and lower needs need to be satisfied before higher needs can be addressed. While a person is motivated to fulfill these basal desires, they continue to move toward growth, and eventually self-actualization.
  5. You are given 100 dollars. You need to decide how to split this money between yourself and another person taking part of the experiment. If the other person accepts the amount that you will give him – you will both get to keep your share of the money. If the other person declines – neither of you get the money.Proposals to accept less than 30 dollars are usually rejected. The reason? According to our judgment the proposal is not fair. If you are offered a small amount of money while the other person gets a lot more (that comes from potentially your money) – you’ll have a feeling of injustice and would rather not get money than to get a small amount and feel bad afterwards.
  6. What will it take to break through the “isolation?”
  7. What if YOU were not as important? Can you describe your passion without bring you into the equation?
  8. Let’s start with 3 questions:What are your expectations out of this?What keeps you up at nights?In the end, we’ll all be dead. What do you want to leave behind? What’s YOUR big picture?
  9. But, you are the ones that make the choices. How you choose to see, hear, feel about things – your view of the world – makes a hell of difference!
  10. Well being/happiness/positive emotions. What are you after in life?