2. Choppy Sentences
Choppy sentences are sentences that are
too short. When several short sentence
come together they force the reader to go
slowly. This makes the writing seem more
"elementary" than it truly is.
3. Transition words
• And
-First
• Although
-Also
• Because
• Then -Indeed
• But -For example
• Next
• Last
4. The sun beat down. It was on Lina's back.
She began to get terribly hot. She was
uncomfortable.
The sun beat down on Lina's back,
and she began to get terribly hot
and uncomfortable.
5. It was afternoon. The day was hot. The truck
rocked. Lina had nothing to do. Lina went
to sleep.
Sometime in the afternoon, because of
the heat and the rocking motion of the
truck and because there was nothing
else to do, Lina went to sleep.
6. Individual Practice
• Complete exercise #1 by combining short
and choppy sentences.
• Rewrite the revised paragraph in your
notebook.
7. Stringy Sentences
A stringy sentence is when too many
clauses usually connected with and, but,
so, and because, connect sentences
forming one very long sentence. Stringy
sentences are so long the reader forgets
the beginning of the sentence before
reaching the end.
8. They carried the sticks and grass back to where
the truck was parked, and then Maddy scraped out
a shallow hole in the ground with the heel of her
shoe, and then in the hole she set the smallest
splinters of wood, arranging them in a sort of
square.
They carried the sticks and grass back to
where the truck was parked. Then Maddy
scraped out a shallow hole in the ground
with the heel of her shoe. In the hole she
set the smallest splinters of wood,
arranging them in a sort of square.
9. Identify if the sentence is choppy or
stringy
• They were dry. They were tasteless. Lina
was hungry. She didn't mind much. She
ate hers. She stood up. She licked her
fingers. She was through. .
• Over these she placed some sticks, and
on top of those she added larger
branches, and then she tucked in some
handfuls of dried grass a the bottom of
this stick building.
10. - It was the second night. They stopped. They were
beside the ruins of a town. Not much was left of it.
There were concrete foundations. There was
overgrown weeds. You could see curved streets. Here
and there was a wall. Some chimneys were still
standing.
11. The Komondor’s hair is long and white and it grows
into long mats and the mats have to be groomed and
they must be carefully separated into cords and it
takes several hours and this has to be done each
time the dog sheds its undercoat and this happens
twice a year.
