3.  Increase in the early 1990s
 More familiar with the costs and benefits
 Intimacy and companionship
 Romance and sexual expression

4.  Slow and complex
 Balancing career, kids, extended family and new
marriage
 Takes an estimated 4-7 years to adjust.

5.  40% of remarriages (with kids) separate by 4 years.
 By 10 years, 47% of those with kids separate.
 Higher separation/divorce rate than 1st marriages

6. Mistake Failure
 Difficulties with children  Unable to establish
cause the split. stable family system
 Bringing in old
 Occurs early (first 5
issues, habits.
years)
 Work and in-laws
 Rushed, did not consider prevent the stabilizing of
feelings of children new marriage.

7.  Bringing baggage, previous marriage
 Unsettled emotional issues
 Greater involvement in work – later life
 New marital, spouse and parent roles to rework
 Inability to form new family habits
 Unrealistic expectations for the marriage

8. Recovery, Inclusion, Marital Sub-System

9.  Emotional, social and physical strain of first marriage
 “getting over” grief, anger, jealousy, resentment
 Achieving stability on your
own before 2nd marriage

10.  Consider new family, kids and current in-laws
 How will the new family system operate?
 Open or closed? Contact with ex-spouses?
 Crucial for benefit of
children

11.  Establishing sub-system of how new family will
function
 Clear boundaries for both partners
 Decide priorities – parental and spousal
 Emphasize “we” problem solving

12.  More practical than romantic
 Supporting and raising children
 Supporting each other in later life
 Can deal with conflict despite “eyes” of kids, in-laws,
ex-spouses.

14.  Parent-child relationships is older than the new
marriage.
 Stigma and stereotyping
 Intruder?
 Resent attempts at intimacy.

15.  Re-adjustment of birth
order status
 Rivalry caused by conflicting
personalities
 Parent loyalty, “siding”
 “sudden siblings” and repressed
attraction

16.  No obvious ones!
 Least successful?
 Don’t try to be a “healer”
 Those that demand intimacy
 Most successful?
 Between parent and trusted friend
 Model after in-laws

17. Traditional Benefits Practical Costs
 Dual income  Little improvement to
child’s well-being
 Financial stability
 Child distress and
mental health issues
 Partner support
(emotional and social)  Educational difficulty
 “two heads” are better  Worse for boys than girls

18.  Remarriage later in life
 Need for adult children’s approval
 Loyalty to old parent
 Assume the worst (marry for money)
 This stage in life remarriage indicates earlier successes
 Men are more likely to remarry than women.