2. Santa Cruz is a town by the ocean. It has some nice hills. Do you have a favorite hill?

3. It was my big day. I was going to ride my bike with the big boys. They are called "Threes". Can you hold up three fingers?

4. There are even bigger boys, called 1's and 2's. They are monsters. If you are not scared of monsters, you have never met a 1 or a 2.

5. All of us got on our bikes. The whistle blew - tweet, tweet. We pedaled our bikes up the nice hill.

6. Then we all had to ride down the hill. Wheee! We rode really fast. Do you like to ride your bike really fast? No? Then you’d better man the f*&k up, kid.

7. We rode up the hill a lot of times. This made some of the boys feel very tired.

8. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 After 12 times up the hill, I was really tired too. The other boys kept going very fast. My legs felt funny. Can you count to twelve? I couldn't.

9. The next time up the hill, I stopped going fast. I was tired. Maybe, I thought, I didn't eat enough candy.

10. I was riding slow.

11. After 15 times up that damn hill, I was sad because the other boys were faster. But I was still happy because I got to ride my bike. And because I brought beer. Do you like beer?