Revise sentences from passive top active and from weak to strong.

1. Effectively Using Powerful Verbs

2.  Use powerful verbs!!!!
 Embrace
 Devastate
 Thrive
 Invite
 Entertain
 Disguise
 Endure
 Confront
 Escape

3.  Whenever possible, remove helping verbs.
am, is, are, was, were, be, been, being
has, have, had
do, does, did
may, must, might
can, could
shall, should
will, would

4.  The American Dream is not defined the same by
everyone. It can have a little to no meaning
depending on the person involved. This term is
unitary, and is something different for every
citizen of the United States. There have been many
immigrants who have come to the United States
for this popular motive, which has been known for
a long time. Although there is no real definition,
people have their own interpretation of the
American Dream. Common definitions would be
to be rich and have a lot of money by the process
of hard work.

5.  The American Dream is not defined the same by
everyone. It can have a little to no meaning
depending on the person involved. This term is
unitary, and is something different for every
citizen of the United States. There have been many
immigrants who have come to the United States
for this popular motive, which has been known for
a long time. Although there is no real
definition, people have their own interpretation of
the American Dream. Common definitions would
be to be rich and have a lot of money by the
process of hard work.

6.  The American Dream is not defined the same by
everyone. It can have a little to no meaning
depending on the person involved. This term is
unitary, and is something different for every
citizen of the United States. There have been many
immigrants who have come to the United States
for this popular motive, which has been known for
a long time. Although there is no real definition,
people have their own interpretation of the
American Dream. Common definitions would be
to be rich and have a lot of money by the process
of hard work.

7.  The American Dream is not defined the same by
everyone. It can have a little to no meaning
depending on the person involved. This term is
unitary, and is something different for every
citizen of the United States. There have been many
immigrants who have come to the United States
for this popular motive, which has been known for
a long time. Although there is no real definition,
people have their own interpretation of the
American Dream. Common definitions would be
to be rich and have a lot of money by the process
of hard work.

8.  The American Dream is not
defined the same by everyone.
 PASSIVE!

9.  The American Dream is not
defined the same by everyone.
 PASSIVE!
 Everyone does not define the
American Dream the same.
ACTIVE!

10. Everyone does not define the

American Dream the same.
ACTIVE!
 Definitionsof the American
Dream vary greatly.
 BETTER!

11.  The American Dream is not
defined the same by everyone.
 Original
 Definitions of the American
Dream vary greatly.
 Revised!

12.  It can have a little to no meaning
depending on the person involved.
 The American Dream means little or
nothing depending on the person
involved.

13.  It can have a little to no meaning
depending on the person involved.
 WEAK!
 The American Dream means little or
nothing depending on the person
involved.
STRONG!

14.  This term is unitary, and is something different
for every citizen of the United States.
 u·ni·tar·y (yn-tr) adj.
 1. Of or relating to a unit.
 2. Having the nature of a unit; whole.
 3. Based on or characterized by one or more
units.
 ?????????

15.  This term is unitary, and is something different
for every citizen of the United States.
 Definitions of the American Dream vary
greatly. The American Dream means little
or nothing depending on the person
involved.


16.  This term is unitary, and is something different
for every citizen of the United States.
 Definitions of the American Dream vary
greatly. The American Dream means little or
nothing depending on the person involved.
 every citizen of the United States OR
person involved
? Is the third sentence really necessary?

17.  There have been many immigrants who have
come to the United States for this popular
motive, which has been known for a long time.
 There have been many Immigrants who have
come to the United States for this popular
motive, which has been known for a long time.
 Immigrants seek this dream of America as they
have for many years.

18.  There have been many immigrants who have
come to the United States for this popular
motive, which has been known for a long time.
 WEAK.
 Immigrants seek this dream of America as
they have for many years.
 BETTER
 Starry-eyed immigrants passionately seek this
elusive dream of America as they have for
many years.
 BETTER!

19.  Definitions of the American Dream vary
greatly. The American Dream means little or
nothing depending on the individual.
However, starry-eyed immigrants continue to
passionately seek this elusive dream of
America just as they have for many years.
 Although there is no real definition, people
have their own interpretation of the American
Dream.

20.  Although there is no real definition, people
have their own interpretation of the American
Dream.
 No single definition exists, instead many
interpretations live in many American hearts.

21.  Although there is no real definition, people
have their own interpretation of the American
Dream.
 WORDY AND VAGUE
 No single definition exists, instead, many
interpretations live in many American hearts.
 CONCISE!

22.  Definitions of the American Dream vary
greatly. The American Dream means little or
nothing depending on the individual. However,
starry-eyed immigrants continue to
passionately seek this elusive dream of
America just as they have for many years. No
single definition exists, instead, many
interpretations live in many American hearts.
 Common definitions would be to be rich and
have a lot of money by the process of hard
work.

23.  Common definitions would be to be rich and
have a lot of money by the process of hard
work.
 PASSIVE!
 Common definitions include working hard for
the acquisitions of wealth.
 ACTIVE!

24. REVISED
Definitions of the American Dream vary
greatly. The American Dream means little or
nothing depending on the individual.
However, starry-eyed immigrants continue to
passionately seek this elusive dream of
America just as they have for many years. No
single definition exists, instead, many
interpretations live in many American hearts.
Common definitions include working hard for
the acquisitions of wealth.

25. ORIGINAL
The American Dream is not defined the same by
everyone. It can have a little to no meaning
depending on the person involved. This term is
unitary, and is something different for every
citizen of the United States. There have been many
immigrants who have come to the United States
for this popular motive, which has been known for
a long time. Although there is no real definition,
people have their own interpretation of the
American Dream. Common definitions would be
to be rich and have a lot of money by the process
of hard work.

26.  One day last summer, I was at my house with
my mom. We were both in the living room,
trying to cool down by letting the air
conditioning hit us. I was sprawled out on my
leather brown couch I was wearing a blue tang
top, basketball shorts that I had stolen from my
boyfriend, and a quickly pulled back and
messy ponytail. My mom was across the room
and sitting in her faded blue electric recliner.
She was wearing a white tang top; light blue
jeans, and had a neat, tight braid coming down
off her left shoulder. We were watching Ghost
Whisperer, although she was more into texting
on her phone than actually watching the show.

27.  One day last summer, I was at my house with
my mom. We were both in the living room,
trying to cool down by letting the air
conditioning hit us. I was sprawled out on my
leather brown couch I was wearing a blue tang
top, basketball shorts that I had stolen from my
boyfriend, and a quickly pulled back and
messy ponytail. My mom was across the room
and sitting in her faded blue electric recliner.
She was wearing a white tang top; light blue
jeans, and had a neat, tight braid coming down
off her left shoulder. We were watching Ghost
Whisperer, although she was more into texting
on her phone than actually watching the show.

28.  One day last summer, I was at my house with
my mom. We were both in the living
room, trying to cool down by letting the air
conditioning hit us me, I was sprawled out on
my leather brown couch.
 One sweltering day last summer, trying
attempting desperately to cool down by letting
the air conditioning hit me, I sprawled
passively out on my brown, leather couch.

29.  I was wearing a blue tang top, black
basketball shorts that I had stolen from my
boyfriend, and a quickly pulled back and
messy ponytail.
 I wore a blue tank top, black basketball shorts
borrowed from my boyfriend, and a quickly
pulled back, messy ponytail.

30.  My mom was a Across the room and sitting
my mother sat in her faded blue electric
recliner. She was wearing a white tang top;
light blue jeans, and had a neat, tight braid
coming down off her left shoulder.
 Across the room my mother perched in her
faded blue electric recliner wearing a white
tank top, light blue jeans, and a neat, tight
braid descended off her left shoulder.

31.  We were watching Ghost Whisperer, although
she was more into texting on her phone than
actually watching the show.
 Although watching the Ghost Whisperer, I
noticed my mother’s attention more focused on
texting than actually watching the show.

32. REVISED
 One sweltering day last summer, attempting
desperately to cool down by letting the air
conditioning hit me, I sprawled passively out
on my brown, leather couch. I wore a blue tank
top, black basketball shorts borrowed from my
boyfriend, and a quickly pulled back, messy
ponytail. Across the room my mother perched
in her faded blue electric recliner wearing a
white tank top, light blue jeans, and a
neat, tight braid descended off her left
shoulder. Although watching the Ghost
Whisperer, I noticed my mother’s attention
more focused on texting than actually
watching the show.

33. ORIGINAL
 One day last summer, I was at my house with my
mom. We were both in the living room, trying to
cool down by letting the air conditioning hit us. I
was sprawled out on my leather brown couch I
was wearing a blue tang top, basketball shorts that
I had stolen from my boyfriend, and a quickly
pulled back and messy ponytail. My mom was
across the room and sitting in her faded blue
electric recliner. She was wearing a white tang top;
light blue jeans, and had a neat, tight braid coming
down off her left shoulder. We were watching
Ghost Whisperer, although she was more into
texting on her phone than actually watching the
show.