2. University of Purdue OWL
ht tp://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen Brizee
Questions to ask yourself before you write:
What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive about you or
your life story?
What details of your life (personal or family problems, history,
people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals)
might help the committee better understand you or help set you
apart from other applicants?
When did you become interested in this field and what have you
learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated
your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well
suited to this field? What insights have you gained?
How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings,
seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations with
people already in the field?
If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have you
learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how
has that work contributed to your growth?
3. What are your career goals?
Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that
you should explain (great grades but mediocre LSAT or GRE
scores, for example, or a distinct upward pattern to your GPA if
it was only average in the beginning)?
Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (for
example, economic, familial, or physical) in your life?
What personal characteristics (for example, integrity, compassion,
and/or persistence) do you possess that would improve your
prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to
demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics?
What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) do
you possess?
Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—and
more successful and effective in the profession or field than
other applicants?
What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the
admissions committee to be interested in you?
4. http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/sampleessay.html
Prompt: Describe your greatest accomplishment or any unusual circumstances or challenges
you have faced.
Note: Remember, “your reader will expect you to use vivid language that will enable him or
her to visualize your accomplishment and share your sense of success.”
Introduction
Seventeen years ago, I came bounding into a world of love and laughter. I was the first child, the
first grandchild, the first niece, and the primary focus of my entire extended family. Although
they were not married, my parents were young and energetic and had every good intention for
their new baby girl. I grew up with opportunities for intellectual and spiritual growth, secure in
the knowledge that I was loved, free from fear, and confident that my world was close to perfect.
And I was the center of a world that had meaning only in terms of its effect on me-- what I could
see from a height of three feet and what I could comprehend with the intellect and emotions of a
child. This state of innocence persisted through my early teens, but changed dramatically in the
spring of my sophomore year of high school. My beloved father was dying of AIDS.
First Body Paragraph
Topic/Transition Sentence:
From the moment my parents told me, I confronted emotions and issues that many adults have
never faced.
Development of ideas related to the topic sentence (Signpost question addressed: values and
philosophies)
Death of a parent, and AIDS specifically, forced my view of the world and my sense of
responsibility to take a dramatic turn. I had already accepted my father's homosexuality and had
watched through the years as he experienced both prejudice and acceptance related to his sexual
preference. However, in this case I did not have the benefit of time to understand my father's
illness since he decided not to tell me until he had developed full-blown AIDS. My role in the
relationship was suddenly reversed.
End Sentence
Where I had once been the only child of my single father, I was now the parent to the debilitated
child.
Second Body Paragraph
Topic/Transition Sentence
By the summer of my junior year, I had rearranged the structure of my life; as my father's illness
progressed and he became increasingly incapacitated, he depended on me a great deal.
Development of ideas related to the topic sentence (Signpost question addressed: evidence of
responsibility)
5. Each morning before school I took him to the hospital where he received blood transfusions or
chemotherapy to treat the lymphoma that was destroying his body. After school, I raced home to
complete my homework so that I could later go to his apartment. There I cooked meals, cleaned
up, and administered his oral and intravenous medications. Working with IVs became second
nature to me. I found myself familiar with the names of drugs like Cytovene, used to treat CMV,
Neupogen, to raise one's white blood cell count, and literally countless others. I came home each
night after midnight, yet the fatigue I felt hardly touched me; I was no longer seeing through my
own eyes, but through my dad's. I felt his pain when he was too sick to get out of bed. And I hurt
for him when people stared at his bald head, a result of chemotherapy, or the pencil-thin legs that
held up his 6'5" frame. I saw the end he was facing, the gradual debilitation the disease caused,
the disappointment he endured when people were cruel and the joy he experienced when others
were kind.
End sentence
I saw his fear, and it entered my life.
Third Body Paragraph
Topic/Transition sentence
My father died on July 28, 1995.
Development of ideas related to the topic sentence (Signpost question addressed:
accomplishment)
In the last year of his life, I was given the greatest gift I will ever receive: the gift of deep
experience. I am now able to recognize the adversity that accompanies any good in life. My father
taught me about loyalty, love and strength. But most importantly, he gave me the opportunity to
see through his eyes, triggering a compassion in me and a sense of responsibility to those I love
and the world around me that I might not have otherwise discovered.
End sentence
Not a day will ever go by when I won't miss my father, but I am so grateful for the blessing of his
life.
Conclusion
Widen the lens beyond the topic at hand and tie up the essay
With this compassion and experience comes an even greater responsibility. Luke 12:48 tell us
"To whom much is given, of him will much be required." As I move forward in my life, it is my
hope that I can begin to see other people from two vantage points: theirs and mine. By doing this,
I will begin to understand that with my every position or emotion there may be someone else
standing at an equally valid, yet possibly opposite point. And that life, for them, has a different
hue.
6. Sample Essay:
Sample Responses to Select Questions on the NSF
Graduate Research Fellowship Application
These pages were downloaded from Writing Personal Statements Online, available at
ht tps://www.e-educat ion.psu.edu/writ ingpersonalstatementsonline/
Question Summary: Describe your experiences in the following or describe how you
would address the following in your professional career: integrating research and
education, advancing diversity in science, enhancing scientific and technical
understanding, and otherwise benefiting society.
“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of
house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove. But the world may be different because I was
important in the life of a [child].”
—Forest Witcraft, Boy Scouts of America
My belief in the veracity of the statement by Witcraft is one of the reasons I have decided
to become a research professor. I believe that this career will allow me to share my fervor
for science and discovery with future generations, especially young women. From a
young age, and continuing throughout my college career, I have tried to embody this
principle and to volunteer in other capacities in order to improve the community
around me.
One of the ways in which I have been able to share my field of bioengineering with
others has been through the Biomedical Engineering Society (BMES). Last year, I
worked with Prof. John Teacher and a few of my peers to co-found an undergraduate
chapter of BMES at Mythic University. The purpose of this club, according to the BMES,
is to “promote the increase of biomedical engineering knowledge and its utilization.” Our
chapter seeks to fulfill this mission by bringing together undergraduate and graduate
students and supporting activities such as mentoring, career informa tion sessions, and
outside speakers. As part of our outreach, I had the opportunity to return to my high
school over spring break to speak to science classes about biomedical engineering and to
share some of my experiences of college life. I have also assisted the BMES at the annual
Engineering Open House, which is an event geared to helping high school seniors learn
more about the different engineering disciplines, hopefully encouraging them to consider
engineering as a career. In addition, I have served as the captain of a BMES-sponsored
intramural women’s soccer team. Team sports depend upon each player cooperating and
putting forth 100% effort toward a common goal, which directly translates to the
demands of a research environment. This team not only encouraged bioengineers to
interact outside of classes, but it also gave me the opportunity to promote
communication between science and non-science majors, since I actively invited non-bioengineers
to join
the team.
Since beginning my honors thesis research as a sophomore, I have had many
opportunities to share the knowledge I have gained by presenting my results in various
settings. These have included a publication (“Procoagulant Stimulus Processing by the
Intrinsic Pathway of Blood Plasma Coagulation,” in Biomaterials) and several poster
presentations among members of my field. I also participated in a poster presentation that
7. included entries from all undergraduate majors. This presentation gave me the chance to
explain my work to people from non-science backgrounds, challenging me to
present technical details in a way that is meaningful to a wide variety of viewers.
I have also positively impacted the lives of incoming freshmen by serving as a mentor for
the Mythic University Honors College students. I have helped these freshmen to make a
smooth transition from high school to college by offering advice on ways to succeed in
and out of the classroom and also by lending an ear to whatever troubles they may be
experiencing. One of my former mentees recently informed me that I inspired her to
succeed in her engineering studies despite it being a traditionally male-dominated field.
She also gained interest in working towards the Goldwater Scholarship as a result of my
award last year.
Finally, I seek to serve the rest of the surrounding community through my
participation in
Habitat for Humanity. Our chapter helps to raise money to build houses for people who
would not ordinarily be able to afford them by performing odd jobs for people in the
community, asking for donations from local people and businesses, and by holding an
annual “House Walk,” in which each walker is sponsored by family, friends, and
members of Mythic University community.
Throughout my career, I hope to continue my commitment to public service by serving as
a mentor to young women, volunteering for summer science enrichment programs, and
performing other acts of community service such as participating in the Adopt-a-
Highway program. In this way, I can share with others the blessings that have been given
to me throughout my life.
8. Essay Writing Exercise
Identify your admission institution and personal essay prompt.
What will be the focus of your essay?
Write the introductory paragraph.