2. We was playing futbol and we fell and we started to have a fit. It was not a bad fit but the teacher tolled us of. ( Footballers get into a fight, not a fit! )
3. The scool hell is being painted. So we had assembly in our classroom ( Is the school hall a ‘Hell’ for many? )
4. When PC Handley visited he had a helmet and a smart white shit. ( The PC must be really smelly with shit on him! )
5. Today I painted an octopuss with big eyes and eight purple testicles. (‘ Have the tentacles of the octopus changed…?’)
6. I luv J. K. Rolling , she is my heroin. ( When has J.K. Rowling, the heroine to many, become the addictive drug heroin? )
7. The driver flashed at me so I decided to cross the road. ( ‘Flashing the headlights is one thing… but a flasher commits a sexual offence!’ )
8. You can get from Dover to France on a train or you can go on a fairy. ( In Fantasy Land, you don’t need a ferry to cross the sea…a fairy does the job! )
9. People tot the earth was fat but it’s round. It is shaped like a spear. ( ‘fat’ for ‘flat’, ‘spear’ for ‘sphere’…how amusing! )
10. Children in Africa are staring to death. They only get a little groin to eat. I would not like to eat the groin. ( If you are starving, would you eat ‘groin’ if there’s no grain? )
11. Africa…I would like to see the wild breasts roaming the place. ( Ho! Ho! There’s a world of difference between ‘breasts’ and ‘beasts’! )
12. I would like to be an accountant but you have to know a lot about moths. ( Ha! Will knowing about moths help you to improve your maths? )
13. In the 1930s you could get some money by going to the porn shop. The man at the porn shop had 3 balls hanging over his entrance. ( When you mix up ‘pawn’ and ‘porn’ the result is hilarious! )
14. Florence nitingale was known as the lady with the lump. ( Wouldn’t Florence need a ‘lamp’ to see her ‘lump’? )
15. It was peek season when we went to the beach; there were ladles in bikinis everywhere. Men would love ‘peek’ rather than peak seasons to watch ladies in bikinis ( not ladles! )
16. Monks are men who give their life to God and marry nuns. They live in a monstery. ( ‘Marriage fun’ for monks? They know they have None! ( Not Nun! ) )
17. Every living thing is an orgasm, from the smallest cell to the whole mammal; there are orgasms everywhere. ( Omitting the ‘n’ and ‘i’ in organism is a blunder that can be most embarrassing! )
18. All our family love sweats. My mum loves bras of chocolate. She had three chocolate bras on Friday evening last week. ( Sweats to eat? We have seen bars but not bras of chocolate. )
19. We went to visit my dad’s boss this holiday. He lives in a big hose. ( Do you wonder what’s it like to live in a hose? )
20. My uncle is impotent. He is the boss of a big factory. Many would want to be important but to be impotent is nothing to be proud of.
21. I would like to be a signtist and I would like to work in a lavatory . ( Have you heard of any scientist who likes to work in a Lavatory rather than a Laboratory. )
22. The End May you all try your very best to get into less and less mess! With Metta, Bro. Oh Teik Bin