Sample Chapter from my book "School Stories*Travel Tales*Hotel Happenings". The book is now available at MPH Bookstores and mphonline.

1. 156
35 Answering
Nature’s Calls
In the many travel trips both locally and abroad we have
made, we have encountered many interesting situations
during the moments of answering nature’s calls. In many
places of visits in Malaysia the conditions of toilets or
washrooms leave much to be desired. I remember there were
times when the ladies in our tour groups had to wait in a long
queue because of insufficient toilets. Some went into the
Gents’ when they saw that there wasn’t any man at the
urinals. (In most of our tours, ladies outnumber the men.)
The toilet facilities in the various countries of Europe we
visited in the 1990s were even then excellent. In Germany,
the washrooms were ‘clinically’ clean with soothing piped
music played over good sound speakers. One could actually
enjoy some shacks or tidbits in the washrooms! There were
high-tech sensor gadgets that controlled the taps at the
basins. On one occasion I was a bit lost in figuring out how
to turn on the tap at the basin. I looked for the buttons all
over but could not find them. Thinking the tap worked on a
light sensor method, I placed my hands under the tap outlet
but nothing happened. Then I noticed a user nearby doing
some tapping motion with one of his feet on the floor
directly beneath the basin. Only then did I realize that the tap
control button was affixed on the floor!
When we visited some places in China in the late 1990s, I
found that some of the toilets especially those in the rural
areas were really deplorable. There was this tourist place
near Chengde that had ‘shocking’ toilets and they were

2. 157
limited in number. I had to answer nature’s call and so I had
no choice but to visit one of these toilets. It was still using
the bucket type of system and the maintenance was horrible.
When I opened the toilet door, the stench was terrible and I
noticed the bucket was overflowing. I even spotted some
maggots crawling all over.
Talking about toilet experiences, the most unforgettable ones
we ever had were in Nepal and India when a group of us
went for a 15-Day pilgrimage in Nepal and northern India at
the end of 1996. There were a number of internal trips by
road where distances between places were long and took
many hours of travel on the bus. Most of the journeys were
through the rural areas of north India and there were no
public toilets along the way. Answering nature’s calls had to
be done the natural way … behind trees, shrubs, bushes, tall
grasses or whatever spot you liked in the greenery of the
countryside! We had all been briefed earlier before the tour
and so nearly all the ladies came well-prepared with their
‘shielding’ items like umbrellas, sarongs, and some
improvised screens. By virtue of our anatomy, we men were
more lucky…it was easier to do our ‘small business’! It
would involve just standing against a tree and that was it!
There was a journey by bus (I think it was from Bodhgaya to
Varanasi) covering a distance of almost 250 km over very
poor road conditions. We were told that the journey would
take perhaps more than 9 hours because of the trying road
conditions and the traffic congestion at various points where
the roads were real bad and narrow. I think it was about 2
hours before reaching our destination when many of us had
to answer the call of nature. I could hear some ladies
shouting to the bus driver, “Stop! Stop!” One or two uttered
loudly, “Cannot ‘tahan’ (meaning ‘stand it’) anymore!
Bladder bursting already!” Unfortunately the bus could not

3. 158
stop. The tourist guide pointed out the traffic congestion.
Moreover there was no suitable greenery with trees and
bushes around. One lady shouted in reply, “Never mind lah!
Let people see lah!” She had so many laughing. “You’d
better stop laughing,” I warned them. “Otherwise the floor
may get wet and we have to mop!” More laughed. Imagine
the relief when we reached our destination. I had never seen
such a mad rush to the toilets!
There was another occasion when I personally had a most
embarrassing experience. We were on the bus traveling from
Kathmandu and heading towards Lumbini at the border
between Nepal and India. At one stage when it was past 7
pm and the area was already quite dark when many of us
requested the driver to stop for ‘Nature’s Call’. The bus
stopped by the road side and the tour members went
searching around for their ‘favorite spots’ to do their’
business’. I walked a little distance way up the hilly road to a
spot near a bend of the road. There was nobody or any
vehicle around. So I stood at the roadside and unzipped my
trousers ready to relieve myself. Horror of horrors! Just as I
was half-way through my ‘business’, a lorry came round the
band. Its headlights shone right at me directed at my
‘unmentionable’ parts. How embarrassing! I closed my eyes
and let the lorry pass to end the ordeal! Upon finishing my
‘business’ I went back to our bus. When I narrated my
embarrassing moments, the whole bus shook with laughter!
One of the most unforgettable incidents with regard to
answering nature’s calls in India involved one of my good
friends, a lady in her fifties whom I shall just refer to as
Jenny. Jenny, a very pleasant and jovial lady would entertain
us with her many spontaneous jokes in Hokkien and English.
She was of good health still active in a lot of voluntary
welfare and other outreach work.

4. 159
On one of the long journeys between 2 places in our
pilgrimage trail, Jenny had a stomachache after about 3
hours of travel. The bus was going along the countryside of
northern India. Suddenly Jenny shouted to the driver, “Please
stop. I have a terrible stomach upset. I need to go to the toilet
now.” Everybody in the bus was a bit concerned for Jenny
and her impending diarrhea. Fortunately the bus could stop
quick enough by the roadside flanked on both sides by trees,
bushes and undergrowth. Jenny made a quick dash down the
bus to get to one of the bushes to do her ‘business’. “Hey
Jenny!” someone shouted at her. “Did you bring with you an
umbrella or a sarong?” “No need lah!” Jenny shouted back.
(It was only for the first few days that the bashful ladies
‘armed’ themselves with umbrellas or sarongs every time
they wanted to ease themselves behind the trees and bushes.
By the 4th day of our pilgrimage the ladies had become
‘bold’ and had got rid of their shyness. They did not use a
sarong or an umbrella to shield themselves anymore!)
About 10 minutes or so after Jenny had finished clearing her
bowels, she started to walk back to the bus. Someone upon
seeing her shouted excitedly, “Jenny, your feet are covered
with shit!” In her rush to pass motion, Jenny had
unmindfully stepped on some fresh human feces and the
stool covered parts of her feet. “Don’t get into the bus,” one
lady said loudly. “We will all suffer!” So many broke into a
big laugh. Poor Jenny! She was so embarrassed. A group of
us helped her clean her slippers and feet with lots of tissue
paper and bottles of water. Only when her slippers and feet
were ‘certified’ to be clean was she allowed back into the
bus to continue the journey.
Reflection

5. 160
* The environment around us and the circumstances
prevailing are such we will at times encounter trying or
tough times.
* How much we suffer in facing adverse conditions depends
on our mind states, our attitude and the way we see things.
If we react negatively out of habit or conditioning, our
physical and mental suffering will be greater.
* If we can accept or embrace negative things and trying
situations more positively, we can be more peaceful and
calm in our minds. Then the challenges or problems can be
better resolved.
* May we train our minds so that they become more calm,
patient and understanding. With this stronger and more firm
mind, then we can definitely handle problematic situations
more wisely and effectively.