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1. Iscowlwithfrustrationatmyselfinthemirror.Damnmyhair–itjus ournalist.She‘sarticulate,strong,persuasive,argumentative,
twon‘tbehave,anddamnKatherineKavanaghforbeingillandsub beautiful–andshe‘smydearest,dearestfriend.Theroadsarecle
jectingmetothisordeal.Ishouldbestudyingformyfinalexams,w arasIsetofffromVancouver,WAtowardPortlandandtheI-5.It‘se
hicharenextweek,yethereIamtryingtobrushmyhairintosubmis arly,andIdon‘thavetobeinSeattleuntiltwothisafternoon.Fortu
sion.Imustnotsleepwithitwet.Imustnotsleepwithitwet.Recitin nately,Kate‘slentmehersportyMercedesCLK.I‘mnotsureWand
gthismantraseveraltimes,Iattempt,oncemore,tobringitunder a,myoldVWBeetle,wouldmakethejourneyintime.Oh,theMercis
controlwiththebrush.Irollmyeyesinexasperationandgazeatth afundrive,andthemilesslipawayasIfloorthepedaltothemetal.
epale,brown-hairedgirlwithblueeyestoobigforherfacestaring MydestinationistheheadquartersofMr.Grey‘sglobalenterpris
backatme,andgiveup.Myonlyoptionistorestrainmywaywardha e.It‘sahugetwenty-storyofficebuilding,allcurvedglassandste
irinaponytailandhopethatIlooksemipresentable.Kateismyroo el,anarchitect‘sutilitarianfantasy,withGreyHousewrittendis
mmate,andshehaschosentodayofalldaystosuccumbtotheflu.T creetlyinsteelovertheglassfrontdoors.It‘saquartertotwowhe
herefore,shecannotattendtheinterviewshe‘darrangedtodo,wi nIarrive,greatlyrelievedthatI‘mnotlateasIwalkintotheenormo
thsomemega-industri-alisttycoonI‘veneverheardof,forthestu us–andfranklyintimi-dating–glass,steel,andwhitesandstonel
dentnewspaper.SoIhavebeenvolunteered.Ihavefinalexamsto obby.Behindthesolidsandstonedesk,averyattractive,groome
cramfor,oneessaytofinish,andI‘msupposedtobeworkingthisa d,blondeyoungwomansmilespleasantlyatme.She‘swearingth
f-ternoon,butno–todayIhavetodriveahundredandsixty-fivemi esharpestcharcoalsuitjacketandwhiteshirtIhaveeverseen.Sh
lestodowntownSeattleinordertomeettheenigmaticCEOofGrey elooksimmaculate.―I‘mheretoseeMr.Grey.AnastasiaSteelefo
EnterprisesHoldingsInc.Asanexceptionalentrepreneurandma rKatherineKavanagh.‖―Excusemeonemoment,MissSteele.‖Sh
jorbenefactorofourUniversity,histimeisextraordinarilypreci earcheshereyebrowslightlyasIstandself-consciouslybeforeh
ous–muchmorepreciousthanmine–buthehasgrantedKateanint er.IambeginningtowishI‘dborrowedoneofKate‘sformalblazer
erview.Arealcoup,shetellsme.Damnherextra-curricularactivi sratherthanwearmynavybluejacket.Ihavemadeaneffortandwo
ties.Kateishuddledonthecouchinthelivingroom rnmyoneandonlyskirt,mysensiblebrownknee-lengthbootsand
abluesweater.Forme,thisissmart.Ituckoneoftheescapedtend
―Ana,I‘msorry.Ittookmeninemonthstogetthisinterview.Itwillt rilsofmyhairbehindmyearasIpretendshedoesn‘tintimidateme.
akeanothersixtoreschedule,andwe‘llbothhavegraduatedbyth ―MissKavanaghisexpected.Pleasesigninhere,MissSteele.Yo
en.Astheeditor,Ican‘tblowthisoff.Please,‖Katebegsmeinherr u‘llwantthelastelevatorontheright,pressforthetwentiethfloor
asping,sorethroatvoice.Howdoesshedoit?Evenillshelooksga .‖Shesmileskindlyatme,amusednodoubt,asIsignin.Shehands
mineandgorgeous,strawberryblondehairinplaceandgreeneye measecuritypassthathasVISITORveryfirmlystampedonthefro
sbright,althoughnowred-rimmedandrunny.Iignoremypangofu nt.Ican‘thelpmysmirk.Surelyit‘sobviousthatI‘mjustvisiting.I
nwelcomesympathy.―OfcourseI‘llgoKate.Youshouldgetbackt don‘tfitinhereatall.Nothingchanges,Iinwardlysigh.Thanking
obed.WouldyoulikesomeNyquilorTylenol?‖―Nyquil,please.He her,Iwalkovertothebankofelevatorspast
rearethequestionsandmymini-discrecorder.Justpressrecord
here.Makenotes,I‘lltranscribeitall.‖―Iknownothingabouthim, thetwosecuritymenwhoarebothfarmoresmartlydressedthanIa
‖Imurmur,tryingandfailingtosuppressmyrisingpanic.―Theque mintheirwell-cutblacksuits.Theelevatorwhisksmewithtermin
stionswillseeyouthrough.Go.It‘salongdrive.Idon‘twantyouto alvelocitytothetwentiethfloor.Thedoorsslideopen,andI‘mina
belate.‖―Okay,I‘mgoing.Getbacktobed.Imadeyousomesoupto notherlargelobby–againallglass,steel,andwhitesandstone.I‘
heatuplater.‖Istareatherfondly.Onlyforyou,Kate,wouldIdothi mconfrontedbyanotherdeskofsandstoneandanotheryoungblo
s.―Iwill.Goodluck.AndthanksAna–asusual,you‘remylifesaver ndewomandressedimpec-cablyinblackandwhitewhorisestogr
.‖Gatheringmysatchel,Ismilewrylyather,thenheadoutthedoor eetme.―MissSteele,couldyouwaithere,please?‖Shepointstoa
tothecar.Ican-notbelieveIhaveletKatetalkmeintothis.Butthe seatedareaofwhiteleatherchairs.Behindtheleatherchairsisa
nKatecantalkanyoneintoanything.She‘llmakeanexceptionalj spaciousglass-walledmeetingroomwithanequallyspa-ciousd

2. arkwoodtableandatleasttwentymatchingchairsaroundit.Beyo Heturns,seesme,andsmiles,hisdarkeyescrinklingatthecorner
ndthat,thereisafloor-to-ceilingwindowwithaviewoftheSeattl s.Oliviahasjumpedupandcalledtheelevator.Sheseemstoexcel
eskylinethatlooksoutthroughthecitytowardtheSound.It‘sastu atjumpingfromherseat.She‘smorenervousthanme!―Goodafter
nningvista,andI‘mmomentarilyparalyzedbytheview.Wow.Isit noonladies,‖hesaysashedepartsthroughtheslidingdoor.―Mr.
down,fishthequestionsfrommysatchel,andgothroughthem,in Greywillseeyounow,MissSteele.Dogothrough,‖BlondeNumbe
wardlycurs-ingKatefornotprovidingmewithabriefbiography.I rTwosays.Istandrathershakilytryingtosuppressmynerves.Ga
knownothingaboutthismanI‘mabouttointerview.Hecouldbenin theringupmysatchel,Iabandonmyglassofwaterandmakemywa
etyorhecouldbethirty.Theuncertaintyisgalling,andmynervesr ytothepartiallyopendoor.―Youdon‘tneedtoknock–justgoin.‖S
esurface,makingmefidget.I‘veneverbeencomfortablewithone hesmileskindly.Ipushopenthedoorandstumblethrough,trippin
-on-oneinterviews,preferringtheanonymityofagroupdiscussi govermyownfeet,andfallingheadfirstintotheoffice.Doublecra
onwhereIcansitinconspicuouslyatthebackoftheroom.Tobeho p–meandmytwoleftfeet!Iamonmyhandsandkneesinthedoorwa
nest,Iprefermyowncompany,readingaclassicBritishnovel,cur ytoMr.Grey‘soffice,andgentlehandsarearoundmehelpingmet
ledupinachairinthecampuslibrary.Notsittingtwitchingnervou ostand.Iamsoem-barrassed,damnmyclumsiness.Ihavetosteel
slyinacolos-salglassandstoneedifice.Irollmyeyesatmyself.G myselftoglanceup.Holycow–he‘ssoyoung.―MissKavanagh.‖H
etagrip,Steele.Judgingfromthebuilding,whichistooclinicalan eextendsalong-fingeredhandtomeonceI‘mupright.―I‘mChristi
dmodern,IguessGreyisinhisforties:fit,tanned,andfair-haired anGrey.Areyouallright?Wouldyouliketosit?‖Soyoung–andatt
tomatchtherestofthepersonnel.Anotherelegant,flawlesslydr ractive,veryattractive.He‘stall,dressedinafinegraysuit,whit
essedblondecomesoutofalargedoortotheright.Whatisitwithal eshirt,andblacktiewithunrulydarkcoppercoloredhairandinten
ltheimmaculateblondes?It‘slikeStepfordhere.Takingadeepbr se,brightgrayeyesthatregardmeshrewdly.Ittakesamomentfor
eath,Istandup.―MissSteele?‖thelatestblondeasks.―Yes,‖Icro metofindmyvoice.―Um.Actually–‖Imutter.Ifthisguyisoverthirt
ak,andclearmythroat.―Yes.‖There,thatsoundedmoreconfiden ythenI‘mamonkey‘suncle.Inadaze,Iplacemyhandinhisandwes
t.―Mr.Greywillseeyouinamoment.MayItakeyourjacket?‖―Ohpl hake.Asourfingerstouch,Ifeelanoddexhilaratingshiverrunthr
ease.‖Istruggleoutofthejacket.―Haveyoubeenofferedanyrefr oughme.Iwithdrawmyhandhastily,embarrassed.Mustbestatic
eshment?‖―Um–no.‖Ohdear,isBlondeNumberOneintrouble?Bl .Iblinkrapidly,myeyelidsmatchingmyheartrate.―MissKavanag
ondeNumberTwofrownsandeyestheyoungwomanatthedesk.―W hisindisposed,soshesentme.Ihopeyoudon‘tmind,Mr.Grey.‖―A
ouldyouliketea,coffee,water?‖sheasks,turningherattentionb ndyouare?‖Hisvoiceiswarm,possiblyamused,butit‘sdifficultt
acktome.―Aglassofwater.Thankyou,‖Imurmur.―Olivia,pleasef otellfromhisimpassiveexpression.Helooksmildlyinterested,b
etchMissSteeleaglassofwater.‖Hervoiceisstern.Oliviascoots utaboveall,polite.―AnastasiaSteele.I‘mstudyingEnglishLiter
upimmediatelyandscurriestoadoorontheothersideofthefoyer. aturewithKate,um…Katherine…um…MissKavanaghatWashing
―Myapologies,MissSteele,Oliviaisournewintern.Pleasebese tonState.‖―Isee,‖hesayssimply.IthinkIseetheghostofasmilei
ated.Mr.Greywillbeanotherfiveminutes.‖Oliviareturnswithag nhisexpression,butI‘mnotsure.―Wouldyouliketosit?‖Hewaves
lassoficedwater.―Hereyougo,MissSteele.‖―Thankyou.‖Blond metowardawhiteleatherbuttonedL-shapedcouch.Hisofficeisw
eNumberTwomarchesovertothelargedesk,herheelsclickingan aytoobigforjustoneman.Infrontofthefloor-to-ceilingwindows,
dechoingonthesandstonefloor.Shesitsdown,andtheybothcon there‘sahugemoderndark-wooddeskthatsixpeoplecouldcomfo
tinuetheirwork rtablyeataround.Itmatchesthecoffeetablebythecouch.Everyt
hingelseiswhite–ceiling,floors,andwallsexcept,onthewallbyt
PerhapsMr.Greyinsistsonallhisemployeesbeingblonde.I‘mwo hedoor,whereamosaicofsmallpaintingshang,thirty-sixofthem
nderingidlyifthat‘slegal,whentheofficedooropensandatall,el arrangedinasquare.Theyareexquisite–aseriesofmundane,for
egantlydressed,attractiveAfrican-Americanmanwithshortdre gottenobjectspaintedinsuchprecisedetailtheylooklikephotog
adsexits.Ihavedefinitelywornthewrongclothes.Heturnsandsa raphs.Displayedtogether,theyarebreathtaking.―Alocalartist.
ysthroughthedoor.―Golf,thisweek,Grey.‖Idon‘thearthereply. Trouton,‖saysGreywhenhecatchesmygaze.―They‘relovely.Ra

3. isingtheordinarytoextraordinary,‖Imurmur,distractedbothby dfixesmewithhisgraystare.―Mybeliefistoachievesuccessinan
himandthepaintings.Hecockshisheadtoonesideandregardsm yschemeonehastomakeoneselfmasterofthatscheme,knowitin
eintently. sideandout,knoweverydetail.Iworkhard,veryhardtodothat.Im
akedecisionsbasedonlogicandfacts.Ihaveanaturalgutinstinc
―Icouldn‘tagreemore,MissSteele,‖hereplies,hisvoicesoftand tthatcanspotandnurtureagoodsolidideaandgoodpeople.Theb
forsomeinexpli-cablereasonIfindmyselfblushing.Apartfromt ottomlineis,it‘salwaysdowntogoodpeople.‖―Maybeyou‘rejust
hepaintings,therestoftheofficeiscold,clean,andclinical.Iwo lucky.‖Thisisn‘tonKate‘slist–buthe‘ssoarrogant.Hiseyesflar
nderifitreflectsthepersonalityoftheAdoniswhosinksgracefull emomentarilyinsurprise.―Idon‘tsubscribetoluckorchance,Mi
yintooneofthewhiteleatherchairsoppositeme.Ishakemyhead, ssSteele.TheharderIworkthemoreluckIseemtohave.Itreallyis
disturbedatthedirectionofmythoughts,andretrieveKate‘sque allabouthavingtherightpeopleonyourteamanddirectingtheir n
stionsfrommysatchel.Next,Isetupthemini-discrecorderanda ergiesaccordingly.IthinkitwasHarveyFirestonewhosaid‗theg
mallfingersandthumbs,droppingittwiceonthecoffeetableinfro rowthanddevelop-mentofpeopleisthehighestcallingofleaders
ntofme.Mr.Greysaysnothing,waitingpatiently–Ihope–asIbec hip.‘‖―Yousoundlikeacontrolfreak.‖Thewordsareoutofmymou
omeincreasinglyembarrassedandflustered.WhenIpluckupthe thbeforeIcanstopthem.―Oh,Iexercisecontrolinallthings,Miss
couragetolookathim,he‘swatchingme,onehandrelaxedinhisla Steele,‖hesayswithoutatraceofhumorinhissmile.Ilookathim,
pandtheothercuppinghischinandtrailinghislongindexfingera andheholdsmygazesteadily,impassive.Myheartbeatquickens
crosshislips.Ithinkhe‘stryingtosuppressasmile.―Sorry,‖Istut ,andmyfaceflushesagain.Whydoeshehavesuchanunnervingef
ter.―I‘mnotusedtothis.‖―Takeallthetimeyouneed,MissSteele, fectonme?Hisoverwhelminggood-looksmaybe?Thewayhiseye
‖hesays.―DoyoumindifIrecordyouranswers?‖―Afteryou‘vetak sblazeatme?Thewayhestrokeshisindexfingeragainsthislower
ensomuchtroubletosetuptherecorder–youaskmenow?‖Iflush. lip?Iwishhe‘dstopdoingthat.―Besides,immensepowerisacquir
He‘steasingme?Ihope.Iblinkathim,unsurewhattosay,andIthin edbyassuringyourselfinyoursecretreveriesthatyouwerebornt
khetakespityonmebecauseherelents.―No,Idon‘tmind.‖―DidKa ocontrolthings,‖hecontinues,hisvoicesoft.―Doyoufeelthatyo
te,Imean,MissKavanagh,explainwhattheinterviewwasfor?‖―Y uhaveimmensepower?‖ControlFreak.―Iemployoverfortythous
es.ToappearinthegraduationissueofthestudentnewspaperasI andpeople,MissSteele.Thatgivesmeacertainsenseofresponsi
shallbeconfer-ringthedegreesatthisyear‘sgraduationceremo bility–power,ifyouwill.IfIweretodecideIwasnolongerinterest
ny.‖Oh!Thisisnewstome,andI‘mtemporarilypre-occupiedbyth edinthetelecommunicationsbusinessandsellup,twentythousa
ethoughtthatsome-onenotmucholderthanme–okay,maybesixy ndpeoplewouldstruggletomaketheirmortgagepaymentsaftera
earsorso,andokay,megasuccessful,butstill–isgoingtopresen monthorso.‖Mymouthdropsopen.Iamstaggeredbyhislackofhu
tmewithmydegree.Ifrown,draggingmywaywardattentionbackt mility.―Don‘tyouhaveaboardtoanswerto?‖Iask,disgusted.―Io
othetaskathand.―Good,‖Iswallownervously.―Ihavesomequest wnmycompany.Idon‘thavetoanswertoaboard.‖Heraisesaneye
ions,Mr.Grey.‖Ismoothastraylockofhairbehindmyear.―Ithoug browatme.Iflush.Ofcourse,IwouldknowthisifIhaddonesomere
htyoumight,‖hesays,deadpan.He‘slaughingatme.Mycheeksh search.Butholycrap,he‘ssoarrogant.Ichangetack.―Anddoyou
eatattherealization,andIsitupandsquaremyshouldersinanatt haveanyinterestsoutsideyourwork?‖―Ihavevariedinterests,M
empttolooktallerandmorein-timidating.Pressingthestartbutt issSteele.‖Aghostofasmiletoucheshislips.―Veryvar-ied.‖And
onontherecorder,Itrytolookprofessional.―You‘reveryyoungto forsomereason,I‘mconfoundedandheatedbyhissteadygaze.Hi
haveamassedsuchanempire.Towhatdoyouoweyoursuc-cess?‖ seyesarealightwithsomewickedthought.―Butifyouworksohard
Iglanceupathim.Hissmileisrueful,buthelooksvaguelydisappo ,whatdoyoudotochillout?‖―Chillout?‖Hesmiles,revealingperf
inted.―Businessisallaboutpeople,MissSteele,andI‘mverygoo ectwhiteteeth.Istopbreathing.Hereallyisbeautiful.Noonesho
datjudgingpeople.Iknowhowtheytick,whatmakesthemflourish uldbethisgood-looking.―Well,to‗chillout‘asyouputit–Isail,Ifl
,whatdoesn‘t,whatinspiresthem,andhowtoincentivizethem.Ie y,Iindulgeinvariousphysicalpursuits.‖Heshiftsinhischair.―I‘
mployanexceptionalteam,andIrewardthemwell.‖Hepausesan maverywealthyman,MissSteele,andIhaveexpensiveandabsor

4. binghobbies.‖IglancequicklyatKate‘squestions,wantingtoget hasenoughmaterialnow?Iglanceatthenextquestion.―Youwere
offthissubject.―Youinvestinmanufacturing.Why,specifically adopted.Howfardoyouthinkthat‘sshapedthewayyouare?‖Oh,t
?‖Iask.Whydoeshemakemesouncomfortable?―Iliketobuildthi hisispersonal.Istareathim,hopinghe‘snotoffended.Hisbrowf
ngs.Iliketoknowhowthingswork:whatmakesthingstick,howtoc urrows.―Ihavenowayofknowing.‖Myinterestispiqued.―Howold
onstructanddeconstruct.AndIhavealoveofships.WhatcanIsay wereyouwhenyouwereadopted?‖―That‘samatterofpublicrecor
?‖―Thatsoundslikeyourhearttalkingratherthanlogicandfacts. d,MissSteele.‖Histoneisstern.Iflush,again.Crap.Yesofcours
‖Hismouthquirksup,andhestaresappraisinglyatme.―Possibly. e–ifI‘dknownIwasdoingthisinterview,Iwouldhavedonesomere
Thoughtherearepeoplewho‘dsayIdon‘thaveaheart.‖―Whywoul search.Imoveonquickly.―You‘vehadtosacrificeafamilylifefor
dtheysaythat?‖―Becausetheyknowmewell.‖Hislipcurlsinawry yourwork.‖―That‘snotaquestion.‖He‘sterse.―Sorry.‖Isquirm,
smile.―Wouldyourfriendssayyou‘reeasytogettoknow?‖AndIre andhe‘smademefeellikeanerrantchild.Itryagain.―Haveyouha
gretthequestionassoonasIsayit.It‘snotonKate‘slist. dtosacrificeafamilylifeforyourwork?‖―Ihaveafamily.Ihaveabr
otherandasisterandtwolovingparents.I‘mnotinter-estedinext
―I‘maveryprivateperson,MissSteele.Igoalongwaytoprotectm endingmyfamilybeyondthat.‖
yprivacy.Idon‘toftengiveinterviews,‖hetrailsoff.―Whydidyou
agreetodothisone?‖―BecauseI‘mabenefactoroftheUniversity, ―Areyougay,Mr.Grey?‖Heinhalessharply,andIcringe,mortifie
andforallintentsandpurposes,Icouldn‘tgetMissKavanaghoff d.Crap.Whydidn‘tIemploysomekindoffilterbeforeIreadthisstr
myback.ShebadgeredandbadgeredmyPRpeople,andIadmireth aightout?HowcanItellhimI‘mjustreadingthequestions?DamnK
atkindoftenacity.‖IknowhowtenaciousKatecanbe.That‘swhyI‘ ateandhercuriosity!―NoAnastasia,I‘mnot.‖Heraiseshiseyebr
msittingheresquirminguncomfort-ablyunderhispenetratingga ows,acoolgleaminhiseyes.Hedoesnotlookpleased.―Iapologiz
ze,whenIshouldbestudyingformyexams.―Youalsoinvestinfar e.It‘sum…writtenhere.‖It‘sthefirsttimehe‘ssaidmyname.Myh
mingtechnologies.Whyareyouinterestedinthisarea?‖―Wecan‘ eart-beathasaccelerated,andmycheeksareheatingupagain.N
teatmoney,MissSteele,andtherearetoomanypeopleonthispla ervously,Ituckmyloosenedhairbehindmyear.Hecockshishead
netwhodon‘thaveenoughtoeat.‖―Thatsoundsveryphilanthropi tooneside.―Thesearen‘tyourownquestions?‖Theblooddrainsf
c.Isitsomethingyoufeelpassionatelyabout?Feedingtheworld‘ rommyhead.Ohno.―Err…no.Kate–MissKavanagh–shecompile
spoor?‖Heshrugs,verynon-committal.―It‘sshrewdbusiness,‖h dthequestions.‖―Areyoucolleaguesonthestudentpaper?‖Ohcr
emurmurs,thoughIthinkhe‘sbeingdisingenuous.Itdoesn‘tmak ap.Ihavenothingtodowiththestudentpaper.It‘sherextra-curri
esense–feedingtheworld‘spoor?Ican‘tseethefinancialbenefi cularactivity,notmine.Myfaceisaflame.―No.She‘smyroommat
tsofthis,onlythevirtueoftheideal.Iglanceatthenextquestion, e.‖Herubshischininquietdeliberation,hisgrayeyesappraising
confusedbyhisattitude.―Doyouhaveaphilosophy?Ifso,whatisi me.―Didyouvolunteertodothisinterview?‖heasks,hisvoicedea
t?‖―Idon‘thaveaphilosophyassuch.Maybeaguidingprinciple– dlyquiet.Hangon,who‘ssupposedtobeinterviewingwhom?Hise
Carnegie‘s:‗Amanwhoacquirestheabilitytotakefullpossessio yesburnintome,andI‘mcompelledtoanswerwiththetruth.―Iwas
nofhisownmindmaytakepossessionofanythingelsetowhichhei drafted.She‘snotwell.‖Myvoiceisweakandapologetic.―Thatex
sjustlyentitled.‘I‘mverysingular,driven.Ilikecontrol–ofmysel plainsagreatdeal.‖There‘saknockatthedoor,andBlondeNumb
fandthosearoundme.‖―Soyouwanttopossessthings?‖Youarea erTwoenters.―Mr.Grey,forgivemeforinterrupting,butyournext
controlfreak.―Iwanttodeservetopossessthem,butyes,bottoml meetingisintwominutes.‖―We‘renotfinishedhere,Andrea.Plea
ine,Ido.‖―Yousoundliketheultimateconsumer.‖―Iam.‖Hesmile secancelmynextmeeting.‖Andreahesitates,gapingathim.She‘
s,butthesmiledoesn‘ttouchhiseyes.Againthisisatoddswithso sappearslost.Heturnshisheadslowlytofaceherandraiseshise
meonewhowantstofeedtheworld,soIcan‘thelpthinkingthatwe‘ yebrows.Sheflushesbrightpink.Ohgood.It‘snotjustme.―Veryw
retalkingaboutsomethingelse,butI‘mabsolutelymystifiedasto ell,Mr.Grey,‖shemutters,thenexits.Hefrowns,andturnshisatt
whatitis.Iswallowhard.Thetempera-tureintheroomisrisingor entionbacktome.―Wherewerewe,MissSteele?‖Oh,we‘rebackt
maybeit‘sjustme.Ijustwantthisinterviewtobeover.SurelyKate o‗MissSteele‘now.―Pleasedon‘tletmekeepyoufromanything.‖

5. ―Iwanttoknowaboutyou.Ithinkthat‘sonlyfair.‖Hisgrayeyesare ntothefoyer.I‘msurprisedwhenhefollowsmeout.AndreaandOli
alightwithcu-riosity.Doublecrap.Where‘shegoingwiththis?H viabothlookup,equallysurprised.―Didyouhaveacoat?‖Greyas
eplaceshiselbowsonthearmsofthechairandsteepleshisfinger ks.―Yes.‖Olivialeapsupandretrievesmyjacket,whichGreytake
sinfrontofhismouth.Hismouthisvery…distracting.Iswallow.―T sfromherbeforeshecanhandittome.Heholdsitupand,feelingri
here‘snotmuchtoknow,‖Isay,flushingagain.―Whatareyourpla diculouslyself-conscious,Ishrugiton.Greyplaceshishandsfor
nsafteryougraduate?‖Ishrug,thrownbyhisinterest.CometoSe amomentonmyshoulders.Igaspatthecontact.Ifhenoticesmyre
attlewithKate,findaplace,findajob.Ihaven‘treallythoughtbey action,hegivesnothingaway.Hislongindexfingerpressestheb
ondmyfinals.―Ihaven‘tmadeanyplans,Mr.Grey.Ijustneedtoget uttonsummoningtheelevator,andwestandwaiting–awkwardlyo
throughmyfinalexams.‖WhichIshouldbestudyingfornowrather nmypart,coollyself-possessedonhis.Thedoorsopen,andIhurr
thansittinginyourpalatial,swanky,sterileof-fice,feelingunco yindesperatetoescape.Ireallyneedtogetoutofhere.WhenIturn
mfortableunderyourpenetratinggaze. tolookathim,he‘sleaningagainstthedoorwaybesidetheelevato
rwithonehandonthewall.Hereallyisvery,verygood-looking.It‘
―Werunanexcellentinternshipprogramhere,‖hesaysquietly.Ir sdistracting.Hisburninggrayeyesgazeatme.―Anastasia,‖hesa
aisemyeyebrowsinsurprise.Isheofferingmeajob?―Oh.I‘llbear ysasafarewell.―Christian,‖Ireply.Andmercifully,thedoorsclo
thatinmind,‖Imurmur,completelyconfounded.―ThoughI‘mnots s e.
ureI‘dfitinhere.‖Ohno.I‘mmusingoutloudagain.―Whydoyousa
ythat?‖Hecockshisheadtooneside,intrigued,ahintofasmilepl
ayingonhislips.―It‘sobvious,isn‘tit?‖I‘muncoordinated,scruf
fy,andI‘mnotblonde.―Nottome,‖hemurmurs.Hisgazeisintense Chapter 2
,allhumorgone,andstrangemusclesdeepinmybellyclenchsudd
Myheartispounding.Theelevatorarrivesonthefirstfloor,andIs
enly.Itearmyeyesawayfromhisscrutinyandstareblindlydowna
crambleoutassoonasthedoorsslideopen,stumblingonce,butfo
tmyknottedfingers.What‘sgoingon?Ihavetogo–now.Ileanforw
rtunatelynotsprawlingontotheimmaculatesandstonefloor.Ira
ardtore-trievetherecorder.―Wouldyoulikemetoshowyouaroun
ceforthewideglassdoors,andI‘mfreeinthebracing,cleansing,
d?‖heasks.―I‘msureyou‘refartoobusy,Mr.Grey,andIdohaveal
dampairofSeattle.Raisingmyface,Iwelcomethecoolrefreshin
ongdrive.‖―You‘redrivingbacktoWSUinVancouver?‖Hesounds
grain.Iclosemyeyesandtakeadeep,purifyingbreath,tryingtor
surprised,anxiouseven.Heglancesoutofthewindow.It‘sbegun
ecoverwhat‘sleftofmyequilibrium.Nomanhaseveraffectedmet
torain.―Well,you‘dbetterdrivecarefully.‖Histoneisstern,auth
hewayChristianGreyhas,andIcannotfathomwhy.Isithislooks?
oritative.Whyshouldhecare?―Didyougeteverythingyouneed?‖
Hiscivility?Wealth?Power?Idon‘tunderstandmyirrationalrea
headds.―Yessir,‖Ireply,packingtherecorderintomysatchel.Hi
ction.Ibreatheanenormoussighofrelief.Whatinheaven‘sname
seyesnarrow,speculatively.―Thankyoufortheinterview,Mr.Gr
wasthatallabout?Leaningagainstoneofthesteelpillarsoftheb
ey.‖―Thepleasure‘sbeenallmine,‖hesays,politeasever.AsIris
uilding,Ivaliantlyattempttocalmdownandgathermythoughts.I
e,hestandsandholdsouthishand.―Untilwemeetagain,MissSte
shakemyhead.Holycrap–whatwasthat?Myheartsteadiestoitsr
ele.‖Anditsoundslikeachallenge,orathreat,I‘mnotsurewhich.
egularrhythm,andIcanbreathenormallyagain.Iheadforthecar.
Ifrown.Whenwillweevermeetagain?Ishakehishandoncemore,
AsIleavethecitylimitsbehind,Ibegintofeelfoolishandembarra
astoundedthatthatoddcurrentbetweenusisstillthere.Itmustb
ssedasIreplaytheinterviewinmymind.Surely,I‘mover-reactin
emynerves.―Mr.Grey.‖Inodathim.Movingwithlitheathleticgra
gtosomethingthat‘simaginary.Okay,sohe‘sveryattractive,co
cetothedoor,heopensitwide.―Justensuringyoumakeitthrough
nfident,commanding,ateasewithhimself–butontheflipside,he
thedoor,MissSteele.‖Hegivesmeasmallsmile.Obviously,he‘s
‘sarrogant,andforallhisimpeccablemanners,he‘sautocratica
referringtomyearlierless-than-elegantentryintohisoffice.Ifl
ndcold.Well,onthesurface.Aninvoluntaryshiverrunsdownmys
ush.―That‘sveryconsiderate,Mr.Grey,‖Isnap,andhissmilewid
pine.Hemaybearrogant,butthenhehasarighttobe–he‘saccomp
ens.I‘mgladyoufindmeentertaining,Iglowerinwardly,walkingi

6. lishedsomuchatsuchayoungage.Hedoesn‘tsufferfoolsgladly, sratherintimidating,youknow.‖Ishrug.―He‘sveryfocused,inte
butwhyshouldhe?Again,I‘mirritatedthatKatedidn‘tgivemeabr nseeven–andyoung.Reallyyoung.‖Kategazesinnocentlyatme.
iefbiography. Ifrownather.―Don‘tyoulooksoinnocent.Whydidn‘tyougivemea
biography?Hemademefeellikesuchanidiotforskimpingonbasi
cresearch.‖Kateclampsahandtohermouth.―Jeez,Ana,I‘msorry
–Ididn‘tthink.‖Ihuff.―Mostlyhewascourteous,formal,slightlys
WhilecruisingalongtheI-5,mymindcontinuestowander.I‘mtrul
tuffy–likehe‘soldbeforehistime.Hedoesn‘ttalklikeamanoftwe
yperplexedastowhatmakessomeonesodriventosucceed.Some
nty-something.Howoldisheanyway?‖―Twenty-seven.Jeez,An
ofhisanswersweresocryptic–asifhehadahiddenagenda.AndK
a,I‘msorry.Ishouldhavebriefedyou,butIwasinsuchapanic.Let
ate‘squestions–ugh!Theadoptionandaskinghimifhewasgay!Is
mehavethemini-disc,andI‘llstarttranscribingtheinterview.‖
hudder.Ican‘tbelieveIsaidthat.Ground,swallowmeupnow!Eve
rytimeIthinkofthatquestioninthefuture,Iwillcringewithembar
rassment.DamnKatherineKavanagh!Icheckthespeedometer.I
‘mdrivingmorecautiouslythanIwouldonanyotherocca-sion.An ―Youlookbetter.Didyoueatyoursoup?‖Iask,keentochangethes
dIknowit‘sthememoryoftwopenetratinggrayeyesgazingatme, ubject.―Yes,anditwasdeliciousasusual.I‘mfeelingmuchbetter
andasternvoicetellingmetodrivecarefully.Shakingmyhead,Ir .‖Shesmilesatmeingrati-tude.Icheckmywatch.―Ihavetorun.Ic
ealizethatGrey‘smorelikeamandoublehisage.Forgetit,Ana,Is anstillmakemyshiftatClayton‘s.‖―Ana,you‘llbeexhausted.‖―I‘
coldmyself.Idecidethatallinall,it‘sbeenaveryinterestingexp llbefine.I‘llseeyoulater.‖I‘veworkedatClayton‘ssinceIstarte
e-rience,butIshouldn‘tdwellonit.Putitbehindyou.Ineverhavet datWSU.It‘sthelargestindependenthardwarestoreinthePortla
oseehimagain.I‘mimmediatelycheeredbythethought.Iswitcho ndarea,andoverthefouryearsI‘veworkedhere,I‘vecometokno
ntheMP3playerandturnthevolumeuploud,sitback,andlistento walittlebitaboutmosteverythingwesell–althoughironically,I‘
thumpingindierockmusicasIpressdownontheaccelerator.AsIh mcrapatanyDIY.Ileaveallthattomydad.I‘mmuchmoreofacurl-u
itthe1-5,IrealizeIcandriveasfastasIwant.Weliveinasmallcom p-with-a-book-in-a-comfy-chair-by-the-firekindofgirl.I‘mgla
munityofduplexapartmentsinVancouver,Washington,closetot dIcanmakemyshiftasitgivesmesomethingtofocusonthatisn‘tC
heVancouvercampusofWSU.I‘mlucky–Kate‘sparentsboughtth hristianGrey.We‘rebusy–it‘sthestartofthesummerseason,an
eplaceforher,andIpaypeanutsforrent.It‘sbeenhomeforfourye dfolksareredecoratingtheirhomes.Mrs.Claytonispleasedtose
arsnow.AsIpullupoutside,IknowKateisgo-ingtowantablow-by eme.―Ana!Ithoughtyouweren‘tgoingtomakeittoday.‖―Myappoi
-blowaccount,andsheistenacious.Well,atleastshehasthemini ntmentdidn‘ttakeaslongasIthought.Icandoacoupleofhours.‖―
-disc.HopefullyIwon‘thavetoelaboratemuchbeyondwhatwass I‘mrealpleasedtoseeyou.‖Shesendsmetothestoreroomtostart
aidduringtheinterview.―Ana!You‘reback.‖Katesitsinourliving re-stockingshelves,andI‘msoonabsorbedinthetask.WhenIarr
area,surroundedbybooks.She‘sclearlybeenstudyingforfinals ivehomelater,Katherineiswearingheadphonesandworkingonh
–thoughshe‘sstillinherpinkflannelpajamasdecoratedwithcut erlaptop.Hernoseisstillpink,butshehasherteethintoastory,s
elittlerabbits,theonesshereservesfortheaftermathofbreakin oshe‘sconcentratingandtypingfuriously.I‘mthoroughlydraine
gupwithboyfriends,forassortedillnesses,andforgeneralmood d–exhaustedbythelongdrive,thegruelinginterview,andbybein
ydepression.Sheboundsuptomeandhugsmehard.―Iwasbeginni grushedoffmyfeetatClayton‘s.Islumpontothecouch,thinkinga
ngtoworry.Iexpectedyoubacksooner.‖―Oh,IthoughtImadegoo bouttheessayIhavetofinishandallthestudyingIhaven‘tdoneto
dtimeconsideringtheinterviewranover.‖Iwavethemini-discre daybecauseIwasholedupwith…him.―You‘vegotsomegoodstuff
corderather.―Ana,thankyousomuchfordoingthis.Ioweyou,Ikn here,Ana.Welldone.Ican‘tbelieveyoudidn‘ttakehimuponhisof
ow.Howwasit?Whatwashelike?‖Ohno–herewego,theKatherin fertoshowyouaround.Heobviouslywantedtospendmoretimewit
eKavanaghInquisition.Istruggletoanswerherquestion.Whatc hyou.‖Shegivesmeafleetingquizzicallook.Iflush,andmyheart
anIsay?―I‘mgladit‘sover,andIdon‘thavetoseehimagain.Hewa rateinexplicablyincreases.Thatwasn‘tthereason,surely?Hej

7. ustwantedtoshowmearoundsoIcouldseethathewaslordofallhe hrowmyselfintomystudiesandmyjobatClayton‘s.Kateisbusyto
surveyed.IrealizeI‘mbitingmylip,andIhopeKatedoesn‘tnotice o,compilingherlasteditionofherstudentmagazinebeforesheh
.Butsheseemsabsorbedinhertranscrip-tion.―Ihearwhatyoume astorelinquishittotheneweditorwhilealsocrammingforherfina
anaboutformal.Didyoutakeanynotes?‖sheasks.―Um…no,Idid ls.ByWednesday,she‘smuchbetter,andInolongerhavetoendur
n‘t.‖―That‘sfine.Icanstillmakeafinearticlewiththis.Shamewe ethesightofherpink-flannel-with-too-many-rabbitsPJs.Icall
don‘thavesomeorigi-nalstills.Good-lookingsonofabitch,isn‘t mymominGeorgiatocheckonher,butalsososhecanwishmeluckf
he?‖Iflush.―Isupposeso.‖Itryhardtosounddisinterested,andIt ormyfinalex-ams.Sheproceedstotellmeaboutherlatestventur
hinkIsucceed.―Ohcomeon,Ana–evenyoucan‘tbeimmunetohisl eintocandlemaking–mymotherisallaboutnewbusinessventure
ooks.‖Shearchesaperfecteyebrowatme.Crap!Idistractherwit s.Fundamentallyshe‘sboredandwantssomethingtooccupyhert
hflattery,alwaysagoodploy. ime,butshehastheattentionspanofagoldfish.It‘llbesomething
newnextweek.Sheworriesme.Ihopeshehasn‘tmortgagedtheho
usetofinancethislatestscheme.AndIhopethatBob–herrelative
lynewbutmucholderhusband–iskeepinganeyeonhernowthatI‘
―Youprobablywouldhavegotalotmoreoutofhim.‖―Idoubtthat,A
mnolongerthere.HedoesseemalotmoregroundedthanHusband
na.Comeon–hepracticallyofferedyouajob.GiventhatIfoistedt
NumberThree.
hisonyouatthelastminute,youdidverywell.‖Sheglancesupatm
especulatively.Imakeahastyretreatintothekitchen.―Sowhatdi
dyoureallythinkofhim?‖Damn,she‘sinquisitive.Whycan‘tshej
ustletthisgo?Thinkofsomething–quick.―He‘sverydriven,contr ―Howarethingswithyou,Ana?‖Foramoment,Ihesitate,andIhav
olling,arrogant–scaryreally,butverycharismatic.Icanun-ders eMom‘sfullattention.―I‘mfine.‖―Ana?Haveyoumetsomeone?‖
tandthefascination,‖Iaddtruthfully,asIpeerroundthedoorath Wow…howdoesshedothat?Theexcitementinhervoiceispalpabl
erhopingthiswillshutheruponceandforall.―You,fascinatedbya e.―No,Mom,it‘snothing.You‘llbethefirsttoknowifIdo.‖―Ana,yo
man?That‘safirst,‖shesnorts.Istartgatheringthemakingsofas ureallyneedtogetoutmore,honey.Youworryme.‖―Mom,I‘mfine.
andwichsoshecan‘tseemyface.―Whydidyouwanttoknowifhewa How‘sBob?‖Asever,distractionisthebestpolicy.Laterthateve
sgay?Incidentally,thatwasthemostembarrass-ingquestion.Iw ning,IcallRay,mystepdad,Mom‘sHusbandNumberTwo,theman
asmortified,andhewaspissedtobeaskedtoo.‖Iscowlatthemem Iconsidermyfather,andthemanwhosenameIbear.It‘sabriefcon
ory.―Wheneverhe‘sinthesocietypages,heneverhasadate.‖―It versation.Infact,it‘snotsomuchaconversationasaone-sideds
wasembarrassing.Thewholethingwasembarrassing.I‘mgladI‘l eriesofgruntsinresponsetomygentlecoax-ing.Rayisnotatalke
lneverhavetolayeyesonhimagain.‖―Oh,Ana,itcan‘thavebeent r.Buthe‘sstillalive,he‘sstillwatchingsocceronTV,andgoingbo
hatbad.Ithinkhesoundsquitetakenwithyou.‖Takenwithme?No wlingandfly-fishingormakingfurniturewhenhe‘snot.Rayisaski
wKate‘sbeingridiculous.―Wouldyoulikeasandwich?‖―Please.‖ lledcarpenterandthereasonIknowthedifferencebetweenahaw
WetalknomoreofChristianGreythatevening,muchtomyrelief.O kandahandsaw.Allseemswellwithhim.Fridaynight,KateandIar
ncewe‘veeaten,I‘mabletositatthediningtablewithKateand,wh edebatingwhattodowithourevening–wewantsometimeoutfrom
ilesheworksonherarticle,IworkonmyessayonTessoftheD‘Urb ourstudies,fromourwork,andfromstudentnewspapers–whenth
ervilles.Damn,butthatwomanwasinthewrongplaceatthewrong edoorbellrings.StandingonourdoorstepismygoodfriendJosé,
timeinthewrongcentury.BythetimeIfinish,it‘smidnight,andKa clutchingabottleofchampagne.―José!Greattoseeyou!‖Igivehi
tehaslongsincegonetobed.Imakemywaytomyroom,exhausted, maquickhug.―Comein.‖JoséisthefirstpersonImetwhenIarrive
butpleasedthatI‘veaccom-plishedsomuchforaMonday.Icurlup datWSU,lookingaslostandlonelyasIdid.Werecognizedakindre
inmywhiteironbed,wrappingmymother‘squiltaroundme,close dspiritineachofusthatday,andwe‘vebeenfriendseversince.No
myeyes,andI‘minstantlyasleep.ThatnightIdreamofdarkplace tonlydoweshareasenseofhumor,butwediscoveredthatbothRa
s,bleakwhitecoldfloors,andgrayeyes.Fortherestoftheweek,It yandJoséSeniorwereinthesamearmyunittogether.Asaresult,

8. ourfathershavebecomefirmfriendstoo.Joséisstudyingengine .I‘mengrossedinthetask,checkingcataloguenumbersagainstt
eringandisthefirstinhisfamilytomakeittocollege.He‘sprettyd heitemsweneedandtheitemswe‘veordered,eyesflickingfromt
amnbright,buthisrealpassionisphotography.Joséhasagreate heorderbooktothecomputerscreenandbackasIchecktheentrie
yeforagoodpicture.―Ihavenews.‖Hegrins,hisdarkeyestwinkli smatch.Then,forsomereason,Iglanceup…andfindmyselflocke
ng.―Don‘ttellme–you‘vemanagednottogetkickedoutforanothe dintheboldgraygazeofChristianGreywho‘sstandingatthecoun
rweek,‖Itease,andhescowlsplayfullyatme.―ThePortlandPlac ter,staringatmeintently.Heartfailure.―MissSteele.Whataplea
eGalleryisgoingtoexhibitmyphotosnextmonth.‖―That‘samazi santsurprise.‖Hisgazeisunwaveringandintense.Holycrap.Wh
ng–congratulations!‖Delightedforhim,Ihughimagain.Katebea atthehellishedoingherelookingalltousled-hairandoutdoorsyi
msathimtoo.―WaytogoJosé!Ishouldputthisinthepaper.Nothin nhiscreamchunky-knitsweater,jeans,andwalkingboots?Ithin
glikelastminuteeditorialchangesonaFridayevening.‖Shegrin kmymouthhaspoppedopen,andIcan‘tlocatemybrainormyvoice
s.―Let‘scelebrate.Iwantyoutocometotheopening.‖Josélooksi .―Mr.Grey,‖Iwhisper,becausethat‘sallIcanmanage.There‘sag
ntentlyatme.Iflush.―Bothofyou,ofcourse,‖headds,glancingne hostofasmileonhislipsandhiseyesarealightwithhumor,asifhe
rvouslyatKate.JoséandIaregoodfriends,butIknowdeepdowni ‘senjoyingsomeprivatejoke.―Iwasinthearea,‖hesaysbywayof
nside,he‘dliketobemore.He‘scuteandfunny,buthe‘sjustnotfo explanation.―Ineedtostockuponafewthings.It‘sapleasuretos
rme.He‘smorelikethebrotherIneverhad.Katherineoftentease eeyouagain,MissSteele.‖Hisvoiceiswarmandhuskylikedarkm
smethatI‘mmissingtheneed-a-boyfriendgene,butthetruthis–I eltedchocolatefudgecaramel…orsomething.Ishakemyheadto
justhaven‘tmetanyonewho…well,whomI‘mattractedto,eventh gathermywits.Myheartispoundingafrantictattoo,andforsomer
oughpartofmelongsforthosetremblingknees,heart-in-my-mou easonI‘mblushingfuriouslyunderhissteadyscrutiny.Iamutterl
th,butterflies-in-my-belly,sleeplessnights. ythrownbythesightofhimstandingbeforeme.Mymemoriesofhim
didnotdohimjustice.He‘snotmerelygood-looking–he‘stheepit
omeofmalebeauty,breathtaking,andhe‘shere.HereinClayton‘
sHardwareStore.Gofigure.Finallymycognitivefunctionsarere
SometimesIwonderifthere‘ssomethingwrongwithme.PerhapsI
storedandreconnectedwiththerestofmybody.―Ana.Myname‘s
‘vespenttoolonginthecompanyofmyliteraryromanticheroes,a
Ana,‖Imutter.―WhatcanIhelpyouwith,Mr.Grey?‖Hesmiles,and
ndconsequentlymyidealsandexpecta-tionsarefartoohigh.But
againit‘slikehe‘sprivytosomebigsecret.Itissodisconcerting.
inreality,nobody‘severmademefeellikethat.Untilveryrecentl
Tak-ingadeepbreath,IputonmyprofessionalI‘ve-worked-in-th
y,theunwelcome,stillsmallvoiceofmysubconsciouswhispers.
is-shop-for-yearsfaçade.Icandothis.―ThereareafewitemsIne
NO!Ibanishthethoughtimmediately.Iamnotgoingthere,notaft
ed.Tostartwith,I‘dlikesomecableties,‖hemurmurs,hisgrayey
erthatpainfulinter-view.Areyougay,Mr.Grey?Iwinceattheme
escoolbutamused.
mory.IknowI‘vedreamtabouthimmostnightssincethen,butthat
‘sjusttopurgetheawfulexperiencefrommysystem,surely?Iwat
chJoséopenthebottleofchampagne.He‘stall,andinhisjeansan
dt-shirthe‘sallshouldersandmuscles,tannedskin,darkhairan Cableties?―Westockvariouslengths.ShallIshowyou?‖Imutter,
dburningdarkeyes.Yes,José‘sprettyhot,butIthinkhe‘sfinally myvoicesoftandwavery.Getagrip,Steele.AslightfrownmarsGr
gettingthemessage:we‘rejustfriends.Thecorkmakesitsloudp ey‘sratherlovelybrow.―Please.Leadtheway,MissSteele,‖hesa
op,andJosélooksupandsmiles.Saturdayatthestoreisanightma ys.ItryfornonchalanceasIcomeoutfrombehindthecounter,butr
re.Wearebesiegedbydo-it-yourselferswantingtospruceupthei eallyI‘mconcentratinghardonnotfallingovermyownfeet–myle
rhomes.Mr.andMrs.Clayton,JohnandPatrick–thetwootherpar gsaresuddenlytheconsistencyofJell-O.I‘msogladIdecidedto
t-timers–andIareallrushedoffourfeet.Butthere‘salullaroundl wearmybestjeansthismorning.―They‘reinwiththeelectricalgo
unchtime,andMrs.Claytonasksmetocheckonsomeorderswhile ods,aisleeight.‖Myvoiceisalittletoobright.Iglanceupathiman
I‘msittingbehindthecounteratthetilldiscreetlyeatingmybagel dregretitalmostimmediately.Damn,he‘shandsome.Iblush.―Af

9. teryou,‖hemurmurs,gesturingwithhislong-fingered,beautiful reagain,zappingthroughmelikeI‘vetouchedanexposedwire.Ig
lymanicuredhand.Withmyheartalmoststranglingme–becausei aspinvoluntarilyasIfeelit,allthewaydowntosomewheredarkan
t‘sinmythroattryingtoescapefrommymouth–Iheaddownoneoft dunexplored,deepinmybelly.Desperately,Iscrabblearoundfor
heaislestotheelectricalsection.WhyisheinPortland?Whyishe myequilibrium.―Anythingelse?‖Myvoiceishuskyandbreathy.H
hereatClayton‘s?Andfromaverytiny,underusedpartofmybrain iseyeswidenslightly.―Somerope,Ithink.‖Hisvoicemirrorsmine
–probablylocatedatthebaseofmymedullaoblongatawheremys ,husky.―Thisway.‖Iduckmyheaddowntohidemyrecurringblush
ubconsciousdwells–comesthethought:he‘sheretoseeyou.No andheadfortheaisle.―Whatsortwereyouafter?Wehavesyntheti
way!Idismissitimmediately.Whywouldthisbeauti-ful,powerful candnaturalfilamentrope…twine…cablecord…‖Ihaltathisexpr
,urbanemanwanttoseeme?Theideaispreposterous,andIkickit ession,hiseyesdarkening.Holycow.―I‘lltakefiveyardsofthena
outofmyhead.―AreyouinPortlandonbusiness?‖Iask,andmyvoi turalfilamentropeplease.‖Quickly,withtremblingfingers,Ime
ceistoohigh,likeI‘vegotmyfingertrappedinadoororsomething. asureoutfiveyardsagainstthefixedruler,awarethathishotgray
Damn!TrytobecoolAna!―IwasvisitingtheWSUfarmingdivision. gazeisonme.Idarenotlookathim.Jeez,couldIfeelanymoreself-
It‘sbasedatVancouver.I‘mcurrentlyfund-ingsomeresearchthe conscious?TakingmyStanleyknifefromthebackpocketofmyjea
reincroprotationandsoilscience,‖hesaysmatter-of-factly.Se ns,Icutitthencoilitneatlybeforetyingitinaslipknot.Bysomemir
e?Notheretofindyouatall,mysubconscioussneersatme,loud,p acle,Imanagenottoremoveafingerwithmyknife.―WereyouaGirl
roud,andpouty.Iflushatmyfoolishwaywardthoughts.―Allparto Scout?‖heasks,sculptured,sensuallipscurledinamusement.D
fyourfeed-the-worldplan?‖Itease.―Somethinglikethat,‖heack on‘tlookathismouth!―Organized,groupactivitiesaren‘treally
nowledges,andhislipsquirkupinahalfsmile.Hegazesatthesele mything,Mr.Grey.‖Hearchesabrow.―Whatisyourthing,Anastas
ctionofcabletieswestockatClayton‘s.WhatonEarthishegoingt ia?‖heasks,hisvoicesoftandhissecretsmileisback.Igazeathi
odowiththose?Icannotpicturehimasado-it-yourselferatall.Hi munabletoexpressmyself.I‘monshiftingtectonicplates.Tryan
sfingerstrailacrossthevariouspackagesdisplayed,andforsom dbecool,Ana,mytorturedsubconsciousbegsonbendedknee.―B
einexplicablereason,Ihavetolookaway.Hebendsandselectsa ooks,‖Iwhisper,butinside,mysubconsciousisscreaming:You!
packet.―Thesewilldo,‖hesayswithhisoh-so-secretsmile,andI Youaremything!Islapitdowninstantly,mortifiedthatmypsyche
blush.―Isthereanythingelse?‖―I‘dlikesomemaskingtape.‖Mas ishavingideasaboveitsstation.―Whatkindofbooks?‖Hecocksh
kingtape?―Areyouredecorating?‖ThewordsareoutbeforeIcan isheadtooneside.Whyishesointerested?―Oh,youknow.Theusu
stopthem.Surelyhehireslaborersorhasstafftohelphimdecorat al.Theclassics.Britishliterature,mainly.‖Herubshischinwith
e?―No,notredecorating,‖hesaysquicklythensmirks,andIhavet hislongindexfingerandthumbashecontemplatesmyanswer.Or
heuncannyfeelingthathe‘slaughingatme.AmIthatfunny?Funn perhapshe‘sjustveryboredandtryingtohideit.―Anythingelsey
ylooking?―Thisway,‖Imurmurembarrassed.―Maskingtapeisint ouneed?‖Ihavetogetoffthissubject–thosefingersonthatfacea
hedecoratingaisle.‖Iglancebehindmeashefollows.―Haveyouw resobeguiling.―Idon‘tknow.Whatelsewouldyourecommend?‖
orkedherelong?‖Hisvoiceislow,andhe‘sgazingatme,grayeyes WhatwouldIrecommend?Idon‘tevenknowwhatyou‘redoing.―Fo
con-centratinghard.Iblushevenmorebrightly.Whythehelldoes rado-it-yourselfer?‖Henods,grayeyesalivewithwickedhumor.
hehavethiseffectonme?IfeellikeI‘mfourteenyearsold–gauche Iflush,andmyeyesstrayoftheirownaccordtohissnugjeans.―Co
,asalways,andoutofplace.EyesfrontSteele! veralls,‖Ireply,andIknowI‘mnolongerscreeningwhat‘scoming
outofmymouth.Heraisesaneyebrow,amused,yetagain.―Youwo
uldn‘twanttoruinyourclothing,‖Igesturevaguelyinthedirectio
nofhisjeans.―Icouldalwaystakethemoff.‖Hesmirks.
―Fouryears,‖Imutteraswereachourgoal.Todistractmyself,Ire
achdownandselectthetwowidthsofmaskingtapethatwestock.―
I‘lltakethatone,‖Greysayssoftlypointingtothewidertape,whic
hIpasstohim.Ourfingersbrushverybriefly,andthecurrentisthe

10. ―Um.‖Ifeelthecolorinmycheeksrisingagain.Imustbethecoloro edovermyshoulder.Ishufflefromfoottofoot,embarrassed.It‘sg
fthecommunistmanifesto.Stoptalking.StoptalkingNOW.―I‘llta oodtoseePaul,buthe‘salwaysbeenover-familiar.
kesomecoveralls.HeavenforbidIshouldruinanyclothing,‖hesa
ysdryly.Itryanddismisstheunwelcomeimageofhimwithoutjean
s.―Doyouneedanythingelse?‖IsqueakasIhandhimthebluecove
WhenIglanceupatChristianGrey,he‘swatchinguslikeahawk,hi
ralls.Heignoresmyinquiry.―How‘sthearticlecomingalong?‖He
sgrayeyeshoodedandspeculative,hismouthahardimpassiveli
‘sfinallyaskedmeanormalquestion,awayfromalltheinnuendoa
ne.He‘schangedfromtheweirdlyattentivecustomertosomeone
ndtheconfusingdoubletalk…aquestionIcananswer.Igraspittig
else–someonecoldanddistant.―Paul,I‘mwithacustomer.Some
htlywithtwohandsasifwerealiferaft,andIgoforhonesty.―I‘mno
oneyoushouldmeet,‖Isay,tryingtodefusetheantagonismIseei
twritingit,Katherineis.MissKavanagh.Myroommate,she‘sthe
nGrey‘seyes.IdragPaulovertomeethim,andtheyweigheachoth
writer.She‘sveryhappywithit.She‘stheeditorofthemagazine,
erup.Theatmosphereissuddenlyarctic.―Er,Paul,thisisChristi
andshewasdevastatedthatshecouldn‘tdotheinterviewinperso
anGrey.Mr.Grey,thisisPaulClayton.Hisbrotherownstheplace.
n.‖IfeellikeI‘vecomeupforair–atlast,anormaltopicofconversa
‖Andforsomeirrationalreason,IfeelIhavetoexplainabitmore.―
tion.―Heronlyconcernisthatshedoesn‘thaveanyoriginalphoto
I‘veknownPauleversinceI‘veworkedhere,thoughwedon‘tseee
graphsofyou.‖Greyraisesaneyebrow.―Whatsortofphotograph
achotherthatoften.He‘sbackfromPrincetonwherehe‘sstudyin
sdoesshewant?‖Okay.Ihadn‘tfactoredinthisresponse.Ishake
gbusinessadministration.‖I‘mbab-bling…Stop,now!―Mr.Clayt
myhead,becauseIjustdon‘tknow.―Well,I‘maround.Tomorrow,
on.‖Christianholdshishandout,hislookunreadable.―Mr.Grey,
perhaps…‖hetrailsoff.―You‘dbewillingtoattendaphotoshoot?
‖Paulreturnshishandshake.―Waitup–nottheChristianGrey?Of
‖Myvoiceissqueakyagain.KatewillbeinseventhheavenifIcanp
GreyEnterprisesHoldings?‖Paulgoesfromsurlytoawestruckin
ullthisoff.Andyoumightseehimagaintomorrow,thatdarkplace
lessthanananosecond.Greygiveshimapolitesmilethatdoesn‘t
atthebaseofmybrainwhispersseductivelyatme.Idismisstheth
reachhiseyes.―Wow–isthereanythingIcangetyou?‖―Anastasia
ought–ofallthesilly,ridiculous…―Katewillbedelighted–ifweca
hasitcovered,Mr.Clayton.She‘sbeenveryattentive.‖Hisexpre
nfindaphotographer.‖I‘msopleased,Ismileathimbroadly.Hisli
ssionisimpassive,buthiswords…it‘slikehe‘ssayingsomething
pspart,likehe‘stakingasharpintakeofbreath,andheblinks.For
elseentirely.It‘sbaffling.―Cool,‖Paulresponds.―Catchyoulat
afractionofasecond,helookslostsomehow,andtheEarthshifts
er,Ana.‖―Sure,Paul.‖Iwatchhimdisappeartowardthestockroo
slightlyonitsaxis,thetectonicplatesslidingintoanewposition.
m.―Anythingelse,Mr.Grey?‖―Justtheseitems.‖Histoneisclipp
Ohmy.ChristianGrey‘slostlook.―Letmeknowabouttomorrow.‖
edandcool.Damn…haveIoffendedhim?Tak-ingadeepbreath,It
Reachingintohisbackpocket,hepullsouthiswal-let.―Mycard.It
urnandheadforthetill.Whatishisproblem?Iringuptherope,cov
hasmycellnumberonit.You‘llneedtocallbeforeteninthemornin
eralls,maskingtape,andcabletiesatthetill.―Thatwillbeforty-t
g.‖―Okay.‖Igrinupathim.Kateisgoingtobethrilled.―ANA!‖Paul
hreedollars,please.‖IglanceupatGrey,andIwishIhadn‘t.He‘s
hasmaterializedatothertheendoftheaisle.He‘sMr.Clayton‘sy
watchingmeclosely,hisgrayeyesintenseandsmoky.It‘sunnerv
oungestbroth-er.I‘dheardhewashomefromPrinceton,butIwas
ing.―Wouldyoulikeabag?‖IaskasItakehiscreditcard.―Please,
n‘texpectingtoseehimtoday.―Er,excusemeforamoment,Mr.Gr
Anastasia.‖Histonguecaressesmyname,andmyheartonceagai
ey.‖GreyfrownsasIturnawayfromhim.Paulhasalwaysbeenabu
nisfrantic.Icanhardlybreathe.Hurriedly,Iplacehispurchasesi
ddy,andinthisstrangemomentthatI‘mhavingwiththerich,powe
naplasticcarrier.―You‘llcallmeifyouwantmetodothephotosho
rful,awesomelyoff-the-scaleattractivecontrol-freakGrey,it‘s
ot?‖He‘sallbusinessoncemore.Inod,renderedspeechlessyeta
greattotalktosomeonewho‘snormal.Paulhugsmehardtakingm
gain,andhandbackhiscreditcard.―Good.Untiltomorrowperhap
ebysurprise.―Ana,hi,it‘ssogoodtoseeyou!‖hegushes.―HelloP
s.‖Heturnstoleave,thenpauses.―Oh–andAnastasia,I‘mgladMi
aul,howareyou?Youhomeforyourbrother‘sbirthday?‖―Yep.Yo
ssKavanaghcouldn‘tdotheinterview.‖Hesmiles,thenstrideswi
u‘relookingwell,Ana,reallywell.‖Hegrinsasheexaminesmeata
threnewedpurposeoutofthestore,slingingtheplasticbagoverh
rm‘slength.Thenhereleasesmebutkeepsapossessivearmdrap

11. isshoulder,leavingmeaquiver-ingmassofragingfemalehormo irty.I‘llseeyoutomorrow.‖―Goodnight,Jack.‖―Goodnight,Ana.
nes.Ispendseveralminutesstaringatthecloseddoorthroughwh ‖Collectingmybag,Ishrugonmyjacketandheadforthedoor.Outi
ichhe‘sjustleftbeforeIreturntoplanetEarth.Okay–Ilikehim.Th ntheearlyeveningairofSeattle,Itakeadeepbreath.Itdoesn‘tbe
gintofillthevoidinmychest,avoidthat‘sbeenpresentsinceSatu
ere,I‘veadmittedittomyself.Icannothidefrommyfeelingsanym
rdaymorning,apainfulhollowreminderofmyloss.Iwalktowardt
ore.I‘veneverfeltlikethisbefore.Ifindhimattractive,veryattra hebusstopwithmyheaddown,staringatmyfeetandcontemplatin
ctive.Butit‘salostcause,Iknow,andIsighwithbittersweetregre gbeingwithoutmybelovedWanda,myoldBeetle...ortheAudi.Ish
t.Itwasjustacoincidence,hiscominghere.Butstill,Icanadmire utthedooronthatthoughtimmediately.No.Don‘tthinkabouthim.
himfromafar,surely?Noharmcancomeofthat.AndifIfindaphoto Ofcourse,Icanaffordacar—anice,newcar.Isuspecthehasbeen
grapher,Icandosomeseriousadmiringtomorrow.Ibitemylipina overgenerousinhispayment,andCLICKHERETODOWNLOADAF
n t i c i p a t i o n and find myself grinning like a schoolgirl. I need to phone Kate and organize ULLCOPYOFTHISEBOOK
a photo-shoot.
thethoughtleavesabittertasteinmymouth,butIdismissitandtry
tokeepmymindasnumbandasblankaspossible.Ican‘tthinkabou
=======================================================================
thim.Idon‘twanttostartcryingagain—notoutonthestreet.Thea
partmentisempty.ImissKate,andIimagineherlyingonabeachin
Barbadossippingacoolcocktail.Iturnontheflat-screentelevisi
onsothere‘snoisetofillthevacuumandprovidesomesemblance
He‘scomeback.Mommy‘sasleeporshe‘ssickagain.Ihideandcur ofcompany,butIdon‘tlistenorwatch.Isitandstareblanklyatthe
lupsmallunderthetableinthekitchen.ThroughmyfingersIcanse
brickwall.Iamnumb.Ifeelnothingbutthepain.HowlongmustIen
eMommy.Sheisasleeponthecouch.Herhandisonthestickygree durethis?Thedoorbuzzerstartlesmefrommyanguish,andmyhe
nrug,andhe‘swearinghisbigbootswiththeshinybuckleandstan
artskipsabeat.Whocouldthatbe?Ipresstheintercom.―Delivery
dingoverMommyshouting.HehitsMommywithabelt.Getup!Getu
forMs.Steele.‖Abored,disembodiedvoiceanswers,anddisapp
p!Youareonefucked-upbitch.Youareonefucked-upbitch.Youa ointmentcrashesthroughme.Ilistlesslymakemywaydownstair
reonefucked-upbitch.Youareonefucked-upbitch.Youareonef
sandfindayoungmannoisilychewinggum,holdingalargecardbo
ucked-upbitch.Youareonefucked-upbitch.Mommymakesasob
ardbox,andleaningagainstthefrontdoor.Isignforthepackagea
bingnoise.Stop.Pleasestop.Mommydoesn‘tscream.Mommycu ndtakeitupstairs.Theboxishugeandsurprisinglylight.Insidea
rlsupsmall.Ihavemyfingersinmyears,andIclosemyeyes.Theso
retwodozenlong-stemmed,whiterosesandacard.Congratulati
undstops.HeturnsandIcanseehisbootsashestompsintothekitc onsonyourfirstdayatwork.Ihopeitwentwell.Andthankyouforth
hen.Hestillhasthebelt.Heistryingtofindme.Hestoopsdownand
eglider.Thatwasverythoughtful.Ithasprideofplaceonmydesk.
grins.Hesmellsnasty.Ofcigarettesanddrink.Thereyouare,you
ChristianIstareatthetypedcard,thehollowinmychestexpandin
littleshit.CLICKHERETODOWNLOADAFULLCOPYOFTHISEBO g.Nodoubt,hisassistantsentthis.Christianprobablyhadveryli
OK
ttletodowithit.It‘stoopainfultothinkabout.Iexaminetheroses
—theyarebeautiful,andIcan‘tbringmyselftothrowtheminthetr
Achillingwailwakeshim.Christ!He‘sdrenchedinsweatandhish
ash.Dutifully,Imakemywayintothekitchentohuntdownavase.A
eartispounding.Whatthefuck?Hesitsboltuprightinbedandputs
ndsoapatterndevelops:wake,work,cry,sleep.Well,trytosleep
hisheadinhands.Fuck.They‘reback.Thenoisewasme.Hetakes .Ican‘tevenescapehiminmydreams.Grayburningeyes,hislostl
adeepsteadyingbreath,tryingtoridhismindandnostrilsofthes
ook,hishairburnishedandbrightallhauntme.Andthemusic...so
mellofcheapbourbonandstaleCamelcigarettes.
muchmusic—Icannotbeartohearanymusic.Iamcarefultoavoidi
tatallcosts.Eventhejinglesincommercialsmakemeshudder.Ih
IhavesurvivedDayThreePost-Christian,andmyfirstdayatwork
avespokentonoone,notevenmymotherorRay.Idon‘thavetheca
.Ithasbeenawelcomedistraction.Thetimehasflownbyinahazeo pacityforidletalknow.No,Iwantnoneofit.Ihavebecomemyowni
fnewfaces,worktodo,andMr.JackHyde.Mr.JackHyde...hesmil
slandstate.Aravaged,war-tornlandwherenothinggrowsandthe
esdownatme,hisblueeyestwinkling,asheleansagainstmydesk
horizonsarebleak.Yes,that‘sme.Icaninteractimper-sonallyat
.―Excellentwork,Ana.Ithinkwe‘regoingtomakeagreatteam.‖S work,butthat‘sit.IfItalktoMom,IknowIwillbreakevenfurther—
omehow,Imanagetocurlmylipsupwardinasemblanceofasmile.
andIhavenothinglefttobreak.Iamfindingitdifficulttoeat.ByWe
―I‘llbeoff,ifthat‘sokaywithyou,‖Imurmur.―Ofcourse,it‘sfiveth
dnesdaylunchtime,Imanageacupofyogurt,andit‘sthefirstthin

12. gI‘veeatensinceFriday.Iamsurvivingonanewfoundtolerancef nGreyHiChristianThankyoufortheflowers;theyarelovely.Yes,
orlattesandDietCoke.It‘sthecaffeinethatkeepsmegoing,butit Iwouldappreciatealift.Thankyou.AnastasiaSteeleAssistantt
‘smakingmeanxious. oJackHyde,CommissioningEditor,SIPCheckingmyphone,Ifin
dthatitisstillswitchedtodivert.Jackisinameeting,soIquicklyc
Jackhasstartedtohoveroverme,irritatingme,askingmeperson allJosé.―Hi,José.It‘sAna.‖―Hello,stranger.‖Histoneissowarm
alquestions.Whatdoeshewant?I‘mpolite,butIneedtokeephima andwelcomingit‘salmostenoughtopushmeovertheedgeagain.―
tarm‘slength.Isitandbegintrawlingthroughapileofcorrespond Ican‘ttalklong.WhattimeshouldIbetheretomorrowforyoursho
enceaddressedtohim,andI‘mpleasedwiththedistractionofmen w?‖―You‘restillcoming?‖Hesoundsexcited.―Yes,ofcourse.‖Is
ialwork.Mye-mailpings,andIquicklychecktoseewhoit‘sfrom.H milemyfirstgenuinesmileinfivedaysasIpicturehisbroadgrin.―
olyshit.Ane-mailfromChristian.Ohno,nothere...notatwork.Fr Seventhirty.‖―Seeyouthen.Good-bye,José.‖―Bye,Ana.‖From:
om:ChristianGreySubject:TomorrowDate:June8,201114:05T ChristianGreySubject:TomorrowDate:June8,201114:27To:A
o:AnastasiaSteeleDearAnastasiaForgivethisintrusionatwork nastasiaSteeleDearAnastasiaWhattimeshallIcollectyou?
.Ihopethatit‘sgoingwell.Didyougetmyflowers?Inotethattomor
rowisthegalleryopeningforyourfriend‘sshow,andI‘msureyou‘ ChristianGreyCEO,GreyEnterprisesHoldingsInc.From:Anast
venothadtimetopurchaseacar,andit‘salongdrive.Iwouldbemo asiaSteeleSubject:TomorrowDate:June8,201114:32To:Chris
rethanhappytotakeyou—shouldyouwish.Letmeknow.Christia tianGreyJosé‘sshowstartsat7:30.Whattimewouldyousuggest
nGreyCEO,GreyEnterprisesHoldingsInc.Tearsswiminmyeyes ?AnastasiaSteeleAssistanttoJackHyde,CommissioningEdito
.Ihastilyleavemydeskandbolttotherestroomtoescapeintoone r,SIPFrom:ChristianGreySubject:TomorrowDate:June8,2011
ofthestalls.José‘sshow.Crap.I‘dforgottenallaboutit,andIpro 14:34To:AnastasiaSteeleDearAnastasiaPortlandissomedist
misedhimI‘dgo.Shit,Christianisright;howamIgoingtogetthere anceaway.Ishallcollectyouat5:45.Ilookforwardtoseeingyou.
?Iclutchmyforehead.Whyhasn‘tJoséphoned?Cometothinkofit ChristianGreyCEO,GreyEnterprisesHoldingsInc.From:Anast
—whyhasn‘tany-onephoned?I‘vebeensoabsentminded,Ihave asiaSteeleSubject:TomorrowDate:June8,201114:38To:Chris
n‘tnoticedthatmycellphonehasbeensilent.Shit!Iamsuchanidi tianGreySeeyouthen.AnastasiaSteeleAssistanttoJackHyde,
ot!IstillhaveitondiverttotheBlackberry.Holyhell.Christian‘s CommissioningEditor,SIPOhmy.I‘mgoingtoseeChristian,andf
beengettingmycalls—unlesshe‘sjustthrowntheBlackberryaw orthefirsttimeinfivedays,myspiritsliftafrac-tionandIallowmy
ay.Howdidhegetmye-mailaddress?Heknowsmyshoesize,ane- selftowonderhowhe‘sbeen.Hashemissedme?ProbablynotlikeI
mailaddressishardlygoingtopresenthimwithmanyproblems.C ‘vemissedhim.Hashefoundanewsubmissivefromwhereverthey
anIseehimagain?CouldIbearit?DoIwanttoseehim?Iclosemyey comefrom?ThethoughtissopainfulthatIdismissitimmediately.
esandtiltmyheadbackasgriefandlonginglancethroughme.Ofc IlookatthepileofcorrespondenceIneedtosortforJackandtackl
ourseIdo.Perhaps,perhapsIcantellhimI‘vechangedmymind... eitasItrytopushChris-tianoutofmymindoncemore.CLICKHERE
No,no,no.Icannotbewithsomeonewhotakespleasureininflicti TODOWNLOADAFULLCOPYOFTHISEBOOK
ngpainonme,someonewhocan‘tloveme.Torturousmemoriesfla
shthroughmymind—thegliding,holdinghands,kissing,thebath Thatnightinbed,Itossandturn,tryingtosleep.Itisthefirsttimei
tub,hisgentleness,hishumor,andhisdark,brooding,sexystare nawhileIhaven‘tcriedmyselftosleep.Inmymind‘seye,Ivisualiz
.Imisshim.It‘sbeenfivedays,fivedaysofagonythathasfeltlikea eChristian‘sfacethelasttimeIsawhimasIlefthisapart-ment.Hi
neternity.Iwrapmyarmsaroundmybody,huggingmyselftightly, storturedexpressionhauntsme.Irememberhedidn‘twantmetog
holdingmyselftogether.Imisshim.Ireallymisshim...Ilovehim. o,whichwasodd.WhywouldIstaywhenthingshadreachedsucha
Simple.CLICKHERETODOWNLOADAFULLCOPYOFTHISEBOO nimpasse?Wewereeachskirtingaroundourownissues—myfear
K ofpunishment,hisfearof...what?Love?Turningonmyside,Ihug
mypillow,filledwithanoverwhelmingsadness.Hethinkshedoes
Icrymyselftosleepatnight,wishingIhadn‘twalkedout,wishingt n‘tdeservetobeloved.Whydoeshefeelthatway?Isitsomethingt
hathecouldbedifferent,wishingthatweweretogether.Howlong odowithhisupbringing?Hisbirthmom,thecrackwhore?Mythoug
willthishideousoverwhelmingfeelinglast?Iaminpurgatory.An htsplaguemeintotheearlyhoursuntileventuallyIfallintoafitful
astasiaSteele,youareatwork!Imustbestrong,butIwanttogotoJ ,exhaustedsleep.ThedaydragsanddragsandJackisunusuallya
osé‘sshow,anddeepdown,themasochistinmewantstoseeChris ttentive.Isuspectit‘sKate‘splumdressandtheblackhigh-heele
tian.Takingadeepbreath,Iheadbacktomydesk.From:Anastasi dbootsI‘vestolenfromhercloset,butIdon‘tdwellonthethought.
aSteeleSubject:TomorrowDate:June8,201114:25To:Christia Iresolvetogoclothesshoppingwithmyfirstpaycheck.Thedressi

13. slooseronmethanitwas,butIpretendnottonotice.Finally,it‘sfi voicesofter.―Pastaallavongole,lastFriday,‖Iwhisper.Heclos
vethirty,andIcollectmyjacketandpurse,tryingtoquellmynerve eshiseyesasfuryandpossiblyregret,sweepsacrosshisface.―Is
s.I‘mgoingtoseehim!―Doyouhaveadatetonight?‖Jackasksash ee,‖hesays,hisvoiceexpressionless.―Youlooklikeyou‘velosta
estrollspastmydeskonhiswayout.―Yes.No.Notreally.‖Hecock tleastfivepounds,possiblymoresincethen.Pleaseeat,Anastas
saneyebrowatme,hisinterestclearlypiqued.―Boyfriend?‖Iflus ia,‖hescolds.Istaredownattheknottedfingersinmylap.Whydoe
h.―No,afriend.Anex-boyfriend.‖―Maybetomorrowyou‘dliketoc shealwaysmakemefeellikeanerrantchild?Heshiftsandturnsto
omeforadrinkafterwork.You‘vehadastellarfirstweek,Ana.We wardme.―Howareyou?‖heasks,hisvoicestillsoft.Well,I‘mshitr
shouldcelebrate.‖Hesmilesandsomeunknownemotionflitsacr eally...Iswallow.―IfItoldyouIwasfine,I‘dbelying.‖Heinhaless
osshisface,makingmeuneasy.Puttinghishandsinhispockets,h harply.―Me,too,‖hemurmursandreachesoverandclaspsmyhan
esauntersthroughthedoubledoors.Ifrownathisretreatingback d.―Imissyou,‖headds.Ohno.Skinagainstskin.―Christian,I—‖―
.Drinkswiththeboss,isthatagoodidea?Ishakemyhead.Ihavean Ana,please.Weneedtotalk.‖I‘mgoingtocry.No.―Christian,I...
eveningofChristianGreytogetthroughfirst.HowamIgoingtodot please...I‘vecriedsomuch,‖Iwhisper,tryingtokeepmyemotion
his?Ihurryintotherestroomtomakelast-minuteadjustments.In sincheck―Oh,baby,no.‖Hetugsmyhand,andbeforeIknowitI‘mo
thelargemirroronthewall,Itakealong,hardlookatmyface.Iamm nhislap.Hehashisarmsaroundme,andhisnoseisinmyhair.―I‘ve
yusualpaleself,darkcirclesroundmytoo-largeeyes.Ilookgaun missedyousomuch,Anastasia,‖hebreathes.Iwanttostruggleo
t,haunted.Jeez,IwishIknewhowtousemakeup.Iapplysomemas utofhishold,tomaintainsomedistance,buthisarmsarewrapped
caraandeyelinerandpinchmycheeks,hopingtobringsomecolor aroundme.He‘spressingmetohischest.Imelt.Oh,thisiswhereI
theirway.Tidyingmyhairsothatithangsartfullydownmyback,It wanttobe.Irestmyheadagainsthim,andhekissesmyhairrepeat
akeadeepbreath.Thiswillhavetodo.NervouslyIwalkthroughth edly.Thisishome.Hesmellsoflinen,fabricsoftener,bodywash,
efoyerwithasmileandawavetoClaireatreception.Ithinksheand andmyfavoritesmell—Christian.Foramoment,Iallowmyselfthe
Icouldbecomefriends.JackistalkingtoElizabethasIheadforth illusionthatallwillbewell,anditsoothesmyravagedsoul.Afewm
edoors.Smilingbroadly,hehurriesovertoopenthemforme.―Aft inuteslaterTaylorpullstoastopatthecurb,eventhoughwe‘resti
eryou,Ana,‖hemurmurs.―Thankyou.‖Ismile,embarrassed.Out llinthecity.CLICKHERETODOWNLOADAFULLCOPYOFTHISEB
sideonthecurb,Tayloriswaiting.Heopensthereardoorofthecar OOK
.IglancehesitantlyatJackwhohasfollowedmeout.He‘slookingt
owardtheAudiSUVindismay.Iturnandclimbintotheback,andth ―Come‖—Christianshiftsmeoffhislap—―we‘rehere.‖What?―He
erehesits—ChristianGrey—wearinghisgraysuit,notie,hiswhit lipad—onthetopofthisbuilding.‖Christianglancestowardtheb
eshirtopenatthecollar.Hisgrayeyesareglowing. uildingbywayofexplanation.Ofcourse.CharlieTango.Tayloro
pensthedoorandIslideout.Hegivesmeawarm,avuncularsmilet
Mymouthdries.Helooksgloriousexcepthe‘sscowlingatme.Ohn hatmakesmefeelsafe.Ismileback.―Ishouldgiveyoubackyourha
o!―Whendidyoulasteat?‖hesnapsasTaylorclosesthedoorbehi ndkerchief.‖―Keepit,MissSteele,withmybestwishes.‖Iflushas
ndme.Crap.―Hello,Christian.Yes,it‘snicetoseeyou,too.‖―Ido Christiancomesaroundthecarandtakesmyhand.Helooksquizzi
n‘twantyoursmartmouthnow.Answerme.‖Hiseyesblaze.Holys callyatTaylorwhostaresimpassivelybackathim,revealingnoth
hit.―Um...Ihadayogurtatlunchtime.Oh—andabanana.‖―Whend ing.―Nine?‖Christiansaystohim.―Yes,sir.‖Christiannodsashe
idyoulasthaveapropermeal?‖heasksacidly.Taylorslipsintoth turnsandleadsmethroughthedoubledoorsintothegrandiosefoy
edriver‘sseat,startsthecar,andpullsoutintothetraffic.Iglanc er.Irevelinthefeelofhislargehandandhislong,skilledfingersc
eupandJackiswavingatme,thoughhowhecanseemethroughthe urledaroundmine.Ifeelthefamiliarpull—Iamdrawn,Icarustohi
darkglass,Idon‘tknow.Iwaveback.―Who‘sthat?‖Christiansnap ssun.Ihavebeenburnedalready,andyethereIamagain.Reachin
s.―Myboss.‖Ipeekupatthebeautifulmanbesideme,andhismout gtheelevators,hepressesthecallbutton.Ipeekupathim,andhe‘
hispressedintoahardline.―Well?Yourlastmeal?‖―Christian,th swearinghisenigmatichalfsmile.Asthedoorsopen,hereleases
atreallyisnoneofyourconcern,‖Imurmur,feelingextraordinaril myhandandushersmein.ThedoorscloseandIriskasecondpeek.
ybrave.―Whateveryoudoconcernsme.Tellme.‖No,itdoesn‘t.Ig Heglancesdownatme,grayeyesalive,andit‘sthereintheairbet
roaninfrustration,rollingmyeyesheavenward,andChristianna weenus,thatelectricity.It‘spalpable.Icanalmosttasteit,pulsi
r-rowshiseyes.Andforthefirsttimeinalongtime,Iwanttolaugh. ngbetweenus,drawingustogether.―Ohmy,‖IgaspasIbaskbriefl
Itryhardtostiflethegigglethatthreatenstobubbleup.Christian‘ yintheintensityofthisvisceral,primalattraction.―Ifeelit,too,‖
sfacesoftensasIstruggletokeepastraightface,andIseeatrace hesays,hiseyescloudedandintense.Desirepoolsdarkanddead
ofasmilekisshisbeautifullysculpturedlips.―Well?‖heasks,his lyinmygroin.Heclaspsmyhandandgrazesmyknuckleswithhisth

14. umb,andallmymusclesclenchtightly,deliciously,deepinsidem en.‖―I‘lltakeyou—wecaneatthere.‖What?―Christian,webroke
e.Holycow.Howcanhestilldothistome?―Pleasedon‘tbiteyourli up.‖―Iknow.Icanstilltakeyouthereandfeedyou.‖Heglaresatme
p,Anastasia,‖hewhispers.Igazeupathim,releasingmylip.Iwan .Ishakemyheadandflushbeforetakingalessconfrontationalap
thim.Here,now,intheelevator.HowcouldInot?―Youknowwhatit proach.―It‘sverybeautifuluphere,thankyou.‖―Impressive,isn‘
doestome,‖hemurmurs.Oh,Istillaffecthim.Myinnergoddesssti tit?‖―Impressivethatyoucandothis.‖―Flatteryfromyou,MissSt
rsfromherfive-daysulk.Abruptlythedoorsopen,breakingthesp eele?ButI‘mamanofmanytalents.‖―I‘mfullyawareofthat,Mr.Gr
ell,andwe‘reontheroof.It‘swindy,anddespitemyblackjacket,I ey.‖Heturnsandsmirksatme,andforthefirsttimeinfivedays,Ire
‘mcold.Christianputshisarmaroundme,pullingmeintohisside, laxalittle.Perhapsthiswon‘tbesobad.―How‘sthenewjob?‖―Goo
andwehurryacrosstowhereCharlieTangostandsinthecenterof d,thankyou.Interesting.‖CLICKHERETODOWNLOADAFULLCO
thehelipadwithitsrotorbladesslowlyspinning.Atall,blond,squ PYOFTHISEBOOK
are-jawedmaninadarksuitleapsoutand,duckinglow,runstowar
dus.ShakinghandswithChristian,heshoutsabovethenoiseofth ―What‘syourbosslike?‖―Oh,he‘sokay.‖HowcanItellChristiant
erotors.―Readytogo,sir.She‘sallyours!‖―Allchecksdone?‖―Ye hatJackmakesmeuncomfortable?Christianturnsandgazesatm
s,sir.‖―You‘llcollectheraroundeightthirty?‖―Yes,sir.‖―Taylor e.―What‘swrong?‖heasks.―Asidefromtheobvious,nothing.‖―T
‘swaitingforyououtfront.‖ heobvious?‖―Oh,Christian,youreallyareveryobtusesometime
s.‖―Obtuse?Me?I‘mnotsureIappreciateyourtone,MissSteele.
―Thankyou,Mr.Grey.SafeflighttoPortland.Ma‘am.‖Hesalutes ‖―Well,don‘tthen.‖Hislipstwitchintoasmile.―Ihavemissedyour
me.Withoutreleas-ingme,Christiannods,ducksdown,andlead smartmouth.‖IgaspandIwanttoshout,I‘vemissedyou—allofyo
smetothehelicopterdoor.Onceinsidehebucklesmefirmlyintom u—notjustyourmouth!ButIkeepquietandgazeouttheglassfishb
yharness,cinchingthestrapstight.Hegivesmeaknowinglookan owlthatisCharlieTango‘swindshieldaswecontinuesouth.Thed
dhissecretsmile.―Thisshouldkeepyouinyourplace,‖hemurmur uskistoourright,thesunlowonthehorizon—large,blazingfiery
s.―ImustsayIdolikethisharnessonyou.Don‘ttouchanything.‖If orange—andIamIcarusagain,flyingfartooclose.Theduskhasfo
lushadeepcrimson,andherunshisindexfingerdownmycheekbe llowedusfromSeattle,andtheskyisawashwithopal,pinks,anda
forehandingmetheheadphones.I‘dliketotouchyou,too,butyou qua-marineswovenseamlesslytogetherasonlyMotherNaturek
won‘tletme.Iscowlathim.Besides,he‘spulledthestrapssotight nowshow.It‘saclear,crispevening,andthelightsofPortlandtwi
Icanbarelymove.Hesitsinhisseatandbuckleshimselfin,thenst nkleandwink,welcomingusasChristiansetsthehelicopterdown
artsrunningthroughallhispreflightchecks.He‘sjustsocompete onthehelipad.Weareontopofthestrangebrownbrickbuildingin
nt.It‘sveryalluring.Heputsonhisheadphonesandflipsaswitch Port-landweleftlessthanthreeweeksago.Jeez,it‘sbeenhardly
andtherotorsspeedup,deafeningme.Turning,hegazesatme.―R anytimeatall.YetIfeellikeI‘veknownChristianforalifetime.He
eady,baby?‖Hisvoiceechoesthroughtheheadphones.―Yes.‖H powersdownCharlieTango,flippingvariousswitchessotheroto
egrinshisboyishgrin.Wow—I‘venotseenitforsolong.―Sea-Tac rsstop,andeventu-allyallIhearismyownbreathingthroughtheh
tower,thisisCharlieTango—TangoEchoHotel,clearedfortakeo eadphones.Hmm.BrieflyitremindsmeoftheThomasTallisexper
fftoPort-landviaPDX.Pleaseconfirm,over.‖Thedisembodiedv ience.Iblanch.Isodon‘twanttogothererightnow.Christianunb
oiceoftheairtrafficcontrolleranswers,issuinginstructions.―R uckleshisharnessandleansacrosstoundomine.―Goodtrip,Miss
oger,tower,CharlieTangoset,overandout.‖Christianflipstwos Steele?‖heasks,hisvoicemild,hisgrayeyesglowing.―Yes,than
witches,graspsthestick,andthehelicopterrisesslowlyandsmo kyou,Mr.Grey,‖Ireplypolitely.―Well,let‘sgoseetheboy‘sphoto
othlyintotheeveningsky.Seattleandmystomachdropawayfrom s.‖Heholdshishandouttomeandtakingit,IclimboutofCharlieTa
us,andthere‘ssomuchtosee.―We‘vechasedthedawn,Anastasi ngo.Agray-hairedmanwithabeardwalksovertomeetus,smiling
a,nowthedusk,‖hisvoicecomesthroughontheheadphones.Itur broadly,andIrecognizehimastheold-timerfromthelasttimewe
ntogapeathiminsurprise.Whatdoesthismean?Howisitthathec werehere.―Joe.‖Christiansmilesandreleasesmyhandtoshake
ansaythemostromanticthings?Hesmiles,andIcan‘thelpbutsmi Joe‘swarmly.―KeephersafeforStephan.He‘llbealongaroundei
leshylybackathim.―Aswellastheeveningsun,there‘smoretose ghtornine.‖―Willdo,Mr.Grey.Ma‘am,‖hesays,noddingatme.―Y
ethistime,‖hesays.ThelasttimeweflewtoSeattleitwasdark,but ourcar‘swaitingdownstairs,sir.Oh,andtheelevator‘soutoford
thiseveningtheviewisspectacular,literallyoutofthisworld.We er;you‘llneedtousethestairs.‖―Thankyou,Joe.‖Christiantake
‘reupamongthetallestbuildings,goinghigherandhigher.―Esca smyhand,andweheadtotheemergencystairs.―Goodthingforyo
la‘soverthere.‖Hepointstowardthebuilding.―Boeingthere,and uthisisonlythreefloors,inthoseheels,‖hemutterstomeindisap
youcanjustseetheSpaceNeedle.‖Icranemyhead.―I‘veneverbe -proval.Nokidding.―Don‘tyouliketheboots?‖

15. nfrowns.Ishakemyhead,equallypuzzled.Heshrugs,distracted
―Ilikethemverymuch,Anastasia.‖HisgazedarkensandIthinkhe .―Whatwouldyouliketodrink?‖―I‘llhaveaglassofwhitewine,tha
mightsaysome-thingelse,buthestops.―Come.We‘lltakeitslow. nkyou.‖Hisbrowfurrows,butheholdshistongueandheadsforthe
Idon‘twantyoufallingandbreakingyourneck.‖Wesitinsilencea openbar.―Ana!‖Josécomesbarrelingthroughathrongofpeople.
sourdrivertakesustothegallery.Myanxietyhasreturnedfullfor Holycow!He‘swearingasuit.Helooksgoodandhe‘sbeamingatm
ce,andIrealizethatourtimeinCharlieTangohasbeentheeyeoft e.Heenfoldsmeinhisarms,huggingmehard.Andit‘sallIcandono
hestorm.Christianisquietandbrooding...apprehensiveeven;o ttoburstintotears.Myfriend,myonlyfriendwhileKateisaway.Te
urlightermoodfromearlierhasdissipated.There‘ssomuchIwan arspoolinmyeyes.―Ana,I‘msogladyoumadeit,‖hewhispersinm
ttosay,butthisjourneyistooshort.Christianstarespensivelyou year,thenpausesandabruptlyholdsmeatarm‘slength,staringa
tthewindow.―Joséisjustafriend,‖Imurmur.Christianturnsandg tme.―What?‖―Heyareyouokay?Youlook,well,odd.Diosmio,hav
azesatme,hiseyesdarkandguarded,givingnothingaway.Hismo eyoulostweight?‖Iblinkbackmytears.―José,I‘mfine.I‘mjustso
uth—oh,hismouthisdistracting,andunbidden.Irememberiton happyforyou.‖Crap—nothim,too.―Congratulationsontheshow.
me—everywhere.Myskinheats.Heshiftsinhisseatandfrowns.― ‖MyvoicewaversasIseehisconcernetchedonhisoh-so-familiar
Thosebeautifuleyeslooktoolargeinyourface,Anastasia.Pleas face,butIhavetoholdmyselftogether.―Howdidyougethere?‖he
etellmeyou‘lleat.‖―Yes,Christian,I‘lleat,‖Ianswerautomatica asks.―Christianbroughtme,‖Isay,suddenlyapprehensive.―Oh.
lly,aplatitude.―Imeanit.‖―Doyounow?‖Icannotkeepthedisdain ‖José‘sfacefallsandhereleasesme.―Whereishe?‖Hisexpressi
outofmyvoice.Honestly,theaudacityofthisman—thismanwhoh ondarkens.―Overthere,fetchingdrinks.‖InodinChristian‘sdire
asputmethroughhelloverthelastfewdays.No,that‘swrong.I‘ve ctionandseehe‘sexchangingpleasantrieswithsomeonewaitin
putmyselfthroughhell.No.It‘shim.Ishakemyhead,confused.―I ginline.ChristianglancesupwhenIlookhiswayandoureyeslock
don‘twanttofightwithyou,Anastasia.Iwantyouback,andIwanty .Andinthatbriefmoment,I‘mparalyzed,staringattheimpossibl
ouhealthy,‖hesayssoftly.What?Whatdoesthatmean?―Butnoth yhandsomemanwhogazesatmewithsomeunfathomableemotion
ing‘schanged.‖You‘restillfiftyshades.―Let‘stalkonthewaybac .Hisgazehot,burningintome,andwe‘relostforamomentstaring
k.We‘rehere.‖Thecarpullsupinfrontofthegallery,andChristia ateachother.Holycow...Thisbeautifulmanwantsmeback,andd
nclimbsout,leavingmespeech-less.Heopensthecardoorforme eepdowninsidemesweetjoyslowlyunfurlslikeamorninggloryin
,andIclamberout.―Whydoyoudothat?‖MyvoiceislouderthanIex theearlydawn.―Ana!‖Josédistractsme,andI‘mdraggedbacktot
pected.―Dowhat?‖Christianistakenaback.―Saysomethingliket hehereandnow.―Iamsogladyoucame—listen,Ishouldwarnyou
hatandthenjuststop.‖―Anastasia,we‘rehere.Whereyouwantto —‖Suddenly,MissVeryShortHairandRedLipstickcutshimoff.―J
be.Let‘sdothisandthentalk.Idon‘tpar-ticularlywantasceneint osé,thejournalistfromthePortlandPrintzisheretoseeyou.Com
hestreet.‖Iflushandglancearound.He‘sright.It‘stoopublic.Ipr eon.‖Shegivesmeapolitesmile.―Howcoolisthis?Thefame.‖He
essmylipstogetherasheglaresdownatme.―Okay,‖Imuttersulki grins,andIcan‘thelpbutgrinback—he‘ssohappy.―Catchyoulat
ly.Takingmyhand,heleadsmeintothebuilding.Weareinaconve er,Ana.‖Hekissesmycheek,andIwatchhimstrollovertoayoung
rtedwarehouse—brickwalls,darkwoodfloors,whiteceilings,an womanstandingbyatalllankyphotographer.José‘sphotograph
dwhitepipework.It‘sairyandmodern,andthereareseveralpeop sareeverywhere,andinsomecases,blownupontohugecanvase
lewanderingacrossthegalleryfloor,sippingwineandadmiringJ s.Therearebothmonochromesandcolors.There‘sanetherealbe
osé‘swork.Foramoment,mytroublesmeltawayasIgraspthatJos autytomanyoftheland-scapes.InonetakenoutnearthelakeatVa
éhasrealizedhisdream.Waytogo,José!―Goodeveningandwelc ncouver,it‘searlyeveningandpinkcloudsarereflectedinthestil
ometoJoséRodriguez‘sshow.‖Ayoungwomandressedinblackw lnessofthewater.Briefly,I‘mtransportedbythetranquilityandt
ithveryshortbrownhair,brightredlipstick,andlargehoopedear hepeace.It‘sstunning.Christianjoinsme,andItakeadeepbreat
ringsgreetsus.Sheglancesbrieflyatme,thenmuchlongerthani handswallow,tryingtorecoversomeofmyearlierequilibrium.He
sstrictlynecessaryatChristian,thenturnsbacktome,blinkinga handsmemyglassofwhitewine.
ssheblushes.Mybrowcreases.He‘smine—orwas.Itryhardnotto
scowlather.Ashereyesregaintheirfocus,sheblinksagain.CLIC ―Doesitcomeuptoscratch?‖Myvoicesoundsmorenormal.Heloo
KHERETODOWNLOADAFULLCOPYOFTHISEBOOK ksquizzicallyatme.―Thewine.‖―No.Rarelydoesatthesekindsof
events.Theboy‘squitetalented,isn‘the?‖Christianisadmiringt
―Oh,it‘syou,Ana.We‘llwantyourtakeonallthis,too.‖Grinning,s helakephoto.―WhyelsedoyouthinkIaskedhimtotakeyourportra
hehandsmeabrochureanddirectsmetoatableladenwithdrinksa it?‖Ican‘thelptheprideinmyvoice.Hiseyesglideimpassivelyfr
ndsnacks.Howdoessheknowmyname?―Youknowher?‖Christia omthephotographtome.―ChristianGrey?‖Thephotographerfro

16. mthePortlandPrintzapproachesChristian.―CanIhaveapicture, off.Heglaresdownatme,caughtoffguardbymyaudacity,Ithink,
sir?‖―Sure.‖Christianhideshisscowl.Istepback,buthegrabsm buthe‘stryingtohidehisamusement.―Frankly,yes.‖―Pervert,‖I
yhandandpullsmetohisside.Thephotographerlooksatbothofu mouthathimandbitemylowerliptopreventmysmile.Hismouthdr
sandcan‘thidehissurprise.―Mr.Grey,thankyou.‖Hesnapsacou opsopen,andnowhisamusementisobvious.Hestrokeshischint
pleofphotos.―Miss...?‖heasks.―Steele,‖Ireply.―Thankyou,Mi hought-fully.―Can‘targuewiththatassessment,Anastasia.‖He
ssSteele.‖Hescurriesoff.―Ilookedforpicturesofyouwithdates shakeshishead,andhiseyessoftenwithhumor.―I‘ddiscussitfur
ontheInternet.Therearen‘tany.That‘swhyKatethoughtyouwer therwithyou,butI‘vesignedanNDA.‖Hesighs,gazingatme,andh
egay.‖Christian‘smouthtwitcheswithasmile.―Thatexplainsyo iseyesdarken.―WhatI‘dliketodotoyoursmartmouth,‖hemurmur
urinappropriatequestion.No,Idon‘tdodates,Anastasia—only s.Igasp,knowingfullwellwhathemeans.―You‘reveryrude.‖Itryt
withyou.Butyouknowthat.‖Hiseyesburnwithsincerity.―Soyoun osoundshockedandsucceed.Doeshehavenoboundaries?Hesm
evertookyour‖—Iglancearoundnervouslytochecknoonecanov irksatme,amused,andthenhefrowns.―Youlookveryrelaxedinth
erhearus—―subsout?‖―Sometimes.Notondates.Shopping,you esephotographs,Anastasia.Idon‘tseeyoulikethatveryoften.‖
know.‖Heshrugs,hiseyesnotleavingmine.Oh,sojustintheplay What?Whoa!Changeofsubject—talkaboutnonsequitur—fromp
room—hisRedRoomofPainandhisapartment.Idon‘tknowwhatt layfultoserious.Iflushandglancedownatmyfingers.Hetiltsmy
ofeelaboutthat.―Justyou,Anastasia,‖hewhispers.Iblushandst headback,andIinhalesharplyatthecontactwithhislongfingers.
aredownatmyfingers.Inhisownway,hedoescareaboutme.―You ―Iwantyouthatrelaxedwithme,‖hewhispers.Alltraceofhumorh
rfriendhereseemsmoreofalandscapeman,notportraits.Let‘slo asgone.Deepinsidemethatjoystirsagain.Buthowcanthisbe?W
okround.‖Heholdshishandouttome,andItakeit.Wewanderpast ehaveissues.―Youhavetostopintimidatingmeifyouwantthat,‖I
afewmoreprints,andInoticeacouplenoddingatme,smilingbroa snap.―Youhavetolearntocommunicateandtellmehowyoufeel,‖
dlyasiftheyknowme.ItmustbebecauseI‘mwithChristian,buton hesnapsback,eyesblazing.Itakeadeepbreath.―Christian,you
eyoungmanisblatantlystaring.Odd.Weturnthecorner,andIcan wantedmeasasubmissive.That‘swheretheproblemlies.It‘sint
seewhyI‘vebeengettingstrangelooks.Hangingonthefarwallar hedefinitionofasubmissive—youe-mailedittomeonce.‖Ipause
esevenhugeportraits—ofme.Istareblanklyatthem,stupefied,t ,tryingtorecallthewording.―Ithinkthesynonymswere,andIquot
heblooddrainingfrommyface.Me:pouting,laugh-ing,scowling, e,‗compliant,pliant,amenable,passive,tractable,resigned,p
serious,amused.Allinsupercloseup,allinblackandwhite.Holy atient,docile,tame,subdued.‘Iwasn‘tsupposedtolookatyou.N
crap!IrememberJosémessingwiththecameraonacoupleofocca ottalktoyouunlessyougavemepermissiontodoso.Whatdoyoue
sionswhenhewasvisitingandwhenI‘dbeenoutwithhimasdriver xpect?‖Ihissathim.Heblinks,andhisfrowndeepensasIcontinu
andphotographer‘sassistant.Hetooksnapshots,orsoIthought. e.
Nottheseinvasivecandids.IglanceupatChristian,whoisstarin
g,transfixed,ateachofthepicturesinturn.―SeemsI‘mnottheonl ―It‘sveryconfusingbeingwithyou.Youdon‘twantmetodefyyou,
yone,‖hemutterscryptically,hismouthsettlingintoahardline.I butthenyoulikemy‗smartmouth.‘Youwantobedience,exceptwh
thinkhe‘sangry.Ohno.―Excuseme,‖hesays,pinningmewithhis enyoudon‘t,soyoucanpunishme.Ijustdon‘tknowwhichwayisup
brightgraygazeforamoment.Heturnsandheadstothereception whenI‘mwithyou.‖Henarrowshiseyes.―Goodpointwellmade,as
desk.CLICKHERETODOWNLOADAFULLCOPYOFTHISEBOOK usual,MissSteele.‖Hisvoiceisfrigid.―Come,let‘sgoeat.‖―We‘v
eonlybeenhereforhalfanhour.‖―You‘veseenthephotos;you‘ve
What‘shisproblemnow?Iwatchmesmerizedashetalksanimated spokentotheboy.‖―HisnameisJosé.‖―You‘vespokentoJosé—th
lywithMissVeryShortHairandRedLipstick.Hefishesouthiswall emanwho,thelasttimeImethim,wastryingtopushhistongueinto
etandproduceshiscreditcard.Shit.Hemusthaveboughtoneofth yourreluctantmouthwhileyouweredrunkandill,‖hesnarls.―He‘
em.―Hey.You‘rethemuse.Thesephotographsareterrific.‖Ayou sneverhitme,‖Ispitathim.Christianscowlsatme,furyemanatin
ngmanwithashockofbrightblondhairstartlesme.Ifeelahandat gfromeverypore.―That‘salowblow,Anasta-sia,‖hewhispersme
myelbowandChristianisback.―You‘realuckyguy.‖BlondShock nacingly.Iflush,andChristianrunshishandsthroughhishair,br
smirksatChristian,whogiveshimacoldstare.―ThatIam,‖hemutt istlingwithbarelycontainedanger.Iglarebackathim.―I‘mtakin
ersdarkly,ashepullsmeovertooneside.―Didyoujustbuyoneoft gyouforsomethingtoeat.You‘refadingawayinfrontofme.Findt
hese?‖―Oneofthese?‖hesnorts,nottakinghiseyesoffthem.―Yo heboy,saygood-bye.‖―Please,canwestaylonger?‖―No.Go.Now
uboughtmorethanone?‖Herollshiseyes.―Iboughtthemall,Anas .Saygood-bye.‖Iglareathim,mybloodboiling.Mr.DamnedContr
tasia.Idon‘twantsomestrangeroglingyouintheprivacyoftheirh olFreak.Angryisgood.Angryisbetterthantearful.Idragmygaze
ome.‖Myfirstinclinationistolaugh.―You‘dratheritwasyou?‖Isc awayfromhimandscantheroomforJosé.He‘stalkingtoagroupof

17. youngwomen.IstalkofftowardhimandawayfromFifty.Justbeca ends,handsonhiskneesasifhe‘srunamarathon.―Fortheloveof
usehebroughtmehere,Ihavetodoashesays?Whothehelldoeshe God,Ana.‖Ileanagainstthewall,panting,tryingtocontroltherio
thinkheis?ThegirlsarehangingonJosé‘severyword.Oneofthe tousreactioninmybody,tryingtofindmyequilibriumagain.―I‘ms
mgaspsasIapproach,nodoubtrecognizingmefromtheportraits. orry,‖Iwhisperoncemybreathhasreturned.―Youshouldbe.Ikno
―José.‖―Ana.Excuseme,girls.‖Joségrinsatthemandputshisar wwhatyouweredoing.Doyouwantthephotographer,Anasta-sia
maroundme,andonsomelevelI‘mamused—Joséallsmooth,impr ?Heobviouslyhasfeelingsforyou.‖Iflushandshakemyhead.―No
essingtheladies.―Youlookmad,‖hesays.―Ihavetogo,‖Imutterm .He‘sjustafriend.‖―Ihavespentallmyadultlifetryingtoavoidan
ulishly.―Youjustgothere.‖―IknowbutChristianneedstogetback yextremeemotion.Yetyou...youbringoutfeelingsinmethatarec
.Thepicturesarefantastic,José—you‘reverytalented.‖Hebea ompletelyalien.It‘svery...‖Hefrowns,graspingfortheword.―U
ms.―Itwassocoolseeingyou.‖Josesweepsmeintoabigbearhug, nsettling.―Ilikecontrol,Ana,andaroundyouthatjust‖—hestand
spinningmesoIcanseeChristianacrossthegal-lery.He‘sscowli s,hisgazeintense—―evaporates.‖Hewaveshishandvaguely,th
ng,andIrealizeit‘sbecauseI‘minJosé‘sarms.Soinaverycalcul enrunsitthroughhishairandtakesadeepbreath.Heclaspsmyha
atingmove,IwrapmyarmsaroundJosé‘sneck.IthinkChristianis nd.―Come,weneedtotalk,andyouneedtoeat.‖
goingtoexpire.Hisglaredarkenstosomethingquitesinister,an
dslowlyhemakeshiswaytowardus.―Thanksforthewarningabout Heleadsmeintoasmall,intimaterestaurant.―Thisplacewillhav
theportraitsofme,‖Imumble.―Shit.Sorry,Ana.Ishouldhavetold etodo,‖Christiangrumbles.―Wedon‘thavemuchtime.‖Theresta
you.D‘youlikethem?‖―Um...Idon‘tknow,‖Ianswertruthfully,mo urantlooksfinetome.Woodenchairs,linentablecloths,andwall
mentarilyknockedoffbalancebyhisquestion.CLICKHERETOD sthesamecolorasChristian‘splayroom—deepbloodred—withs
OWNLOADAFULLCOPYOFTHISEBOOK mallgiltmirrorsrandomlyplaced,whitecandles,andsmallvases
ofwhiteroses.EllaFitzgeraldcroonssoftlyintheback-groundab
―Well,they‘reallsold,sosomebodylikesthem.Howcoolisthat?Y outthisthingcalledlove.It‘sveryromantic.Thewaiterleadsusto
ou‘reapostergirl.‖HehugsmetighterstillasChristianreachesu atablefortwoinasmallalcove,andIsit,apprehensiveandwonde
s,gloweringatmenow,thoughfortu-natelyJosédoesn‘tsee.Jos ringwhathe‘sgoingtosay.―Wedon‘thavelong,‖Christiansaysto
éreleasesme.―Don‘tbeastranger,Ana.Oh,Mr.Grey,goodeveni thewaiteraswesit.―Sowe‘lleachhavesirloinsteakcookedmedi
ng.‖―Mr.Rodriguez,veryimpressive.‖Christiansoundsicilypol um,béarnaisesauceifyouhaveit,fries,andgreenvegetables,w
ite.―I‘msorrywecan‘tstaylonger,butweneedtoheadbacktoSea hateverthechefhas;andbringmethewinelist.‖―Certainly,sir.‖
ttle.Anastasia?‖Hesubtlystressesweandtakesmyhandashedo Thewaiter,takenabackbyChristian‘scool,calmefficiency,scut
esso.―Bye,José.Congratulationsagain.‖Igivehimaquickkisso tlesoff.ChristianplaceshisBlackberryonthetable.Jeez,don‘tI
nthecheek,andbeforeIknowitChristianisdraggingmeoutofthe getachoice?―AndifIdon‘tlikesteak?‖Hesighs.―Don‘tstart,Ana
building.Iknowhe‘sboilingwithsilentwrath,butsoamI.Helooks stasia.‖―Iamnotachild,Christian.‖―Well,stopactinglikeone.‖
quicklyupanddownthestreetthenheadsleftandsuddenlysweep CLICKHERETODOWNLOADAFULLCOPYOFTHISEBOOK
smeintoasidealley,abruptlypushingmeupagainstawall.Hegra
bsmyfacebetweenhishands,forcingmetolookupintohisardent
determinedeyes.Igasp,andhismouthswoopsdown.He‘skissing
me,violently.Brieflyourteethclash,thenhistongueisinmymout
h.DesireexplodesliketheFourthofJulythroughoutmybody,and
I‘mkissinghimback,matchinghisfervor,myhandsknottinginhis
hair,pullingit,hard.Hegroans,alowsexysoundinthebackofhist
hroatthatreverberatesthroughme,andhishandmovesdownmyb
odytothetopofmythigh,hisfingersdiggingintomyfleshthrought
heplumdress.Ipouralltheangstandheartbreakofthelastfewda
ysintoourkiss,bindinghimtome,andithitsme—inthismomentof
blindingpassion—he‘sdoingthesame,hefeelsthesame.Hebrea
ksoffthekiss,panting.Hiseyesareluminouswithdesire,firingth
ealreadyheatedbloodthatispoundingthroughmybody.Mymout
hisslackasItrytodragpreciousairintomylungs.―You.Are.Mine,
‖hesnarls,emphasizingeachword.Hepushesawayfrommeandb