1. Dhamma Talk given on 29 March,2013 at Yuan Ming Hall , PuTuoSi, Kota KinaBalu, Sabah Malaysia
1
WHAT THE LIVING CAN DO FOR THEIR DEARLY DEPARTED
Nanthayani Bhikkhuni
Nirodharam Bhikkhuni Arama, Chiang Mai, Thailand
Namo tassa Bhagavato Arahato Samma Sambuddhassa
Homage to the Blessed One, the Worthy One, the Perfectly Enlightened One, along
with the Dhamma and the Sangha of the Blessed One’s disciples who have practiced well.
I respectfully ask permission from the venerable bhikkhus and bhikkhunis gathered
here today to give a Dhamma talk this evening on the topic “ What The Living Can Do for
Their Dearly Departed”.
In the past, I was like many of you. I also didn’t know what I could do for dearly
departed relatives and friends. So I tried to find out. And then I discovered the Buddha’s
Teachings. I tried to practice according to these teachings and was able to prove through
my own experience that they are true. I now understand that the best thing one can do for
one’s dearly departed is to practice sila-samadhi-panna: keeping virtue purely, cultivating
the mind through meditation, and developing wisdom, that is, insight into the three
characteristics of life - impermanence (anicca), suffering (dukkha), non-self (anatta). The
goodness or merit that arises from this practice can be shared with all beings in all realms
of existence. So our relatives can benefit from it no matter where they are reborn.
For instance, in my own life, because I have practiced sila-samadhi-panna, I have
been able to share the Dhamma as a teacher. If by doing this, I am able to influence
another person to start to keep the precepts and to live their life in a wholesome way, this
will have a ripple effect, benefiting other beings that person comes into contact with. If, say,
that person had been a farmer who killed chickens for a living, and now stopped killing
chickens, if my departed dear one had been reborn as a chicken in that farmer’s farm, they
would now be saved. Or if my dear one had been reborn as a relative or friend of that
farmer, they would also benefit from the better state of mind the farmer has due to more
ethical behavior. Or even if my dear one had been reborn as a deva, she would be able to
rejoice in my practice and the goodness that results from this. So in this way, my practice
of sila-samadhi-panna can have far-reaching benefit.
However, if all you do is offer material things, such as food and other requisites to
the sangha or other virtuous people, the only kind of being who can receive a share of the
merit resulting from these deeds is the hungry ghost (peta). So it is only if your relative has
been reborn in the hungry ghost realm that she can benefit.
Nonetheless, it is worth noting that even if your relative does not benefit, you yourself
will surely receive benefit from your act of giving. Even if you are reborn as an animal
(because in your lifetime you perform many other unwholesome deeds), you will still receive

2. Dhamma Talk given on 29 March,2013 at Yuan Ming Hall , PuTuoSi, Kota KinaBalu, Sabah Malaysia
2
the benefit from having performed that act of giving by being an animal that enjoys material
well-being commensurate to what you had given. And if in your lifetime you perform many
good deeds and practice wholesome courses of action (10 kusala-kammapatha) and are
thus reborn as a human or deva, your act of giving will result in your enjoying pleasures of
the five senses in either the human or deva realm.
Therefore, keep in mind that the best way for you to transfer merit to your departed
dear ones is by doing good deeds, speaking good words, and thinking good thoughts, and
at the highest level, developing the wisdom to know the truth of life.
* * * * * * * * * * *
According to the Buddha’s teachings, giving to others (practicing dana) earns one less merit
than keeping the 5 precepts because keeping the 5 precepts is the greatest form of giving
(mahadana):
1. Abstaining from killing other beings gives safety to others’ lives.
2. Abstaining from stealing gives security to others’ cherished possessions. Stealing is
forbidden means giving safety to their treasures that is the greatest giving to others.
3. Abstaining from sexual misconduct gives happiness to others’ families and relatives.
4. Abstaining from false speech gives peace of mind borne of trustworthiness to
others.
5. Abstaining from drinking alcohol or taking drugs gives safety to one’s own life and
the life of others.