1. Bridging The Communication Gap
Understanding the differences between how men and women think, speak and
communicate, will effectively improve your personal relationships with those you
love.
Have you ever felt as though men and women must come from completely different
planets? Have you struggled with bridging the communication gap between you and
your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend, or spouse? If so, you are not alone, as
communication differences between men and women often create stress and
anxiety within relationships, often leading to misunderstandings and arguments. Or
perhaps you were on the other end of the conversation, not understanding why you
and your relationship partner were having communication problems. Men and
women usually communicate and respond very differently during conversations with
each other.
Because men and women interact and interpret differently, conflicts or
misunderstandings can, and often do, arise. A man and woman can walk away from
a conversation having gotten two totally different perspectives on how the talk went
and its resolution. These different perspectives can cause dissatisfaction in one or
both partners and can lead to misinterpretation, anger, or resentfulness if not
properly understood and recognized.
Understanding the differences between how men and women think, speak and
communicate, will effectively improve your personal relationships with those you
love, as well as relationships within the work place. Because men and women
interact and interpret things very differently, learning how to change your
approach when conversing with the opposite sex, is of utmost importance for the
stability and longevity of relationships.
• Men and women THINK differently
• Men and women SPEAK differently
• Men and women DECIDE differently
How do men and women think differently?
Men think compartmentally and women think globally. Men tend to mentally
separate and store information in very organized yet completely separate
compartments, like in a file-cabinet-drawer system. Things such as Work, Hobbies,
friends etc. are kept in distinctly different compartments or files, staying exclusively
within that compartment until it’s time to “close the drawer” and open the next one.
Women tend to do the complete opposite, cognitively connecting things up, seeing
life’s events more globally. Women see how details and information relate to each
other, with their inherent underlying and interrelated connections. Men, have you
ever gotten into a disagreement with your women where she brings things up that
happened many months ago? That’s because she thinks globally, and sees the

2. connection between the current topic in the argument with the previous one. Both
ways of thinking are great ways of thinking, compartmental and global, but put
them together in the same relationship and things start getting very interesting.
How do men and women speak differently?
Men speak to report facts in short phrases with little or no details, whereas women
speak in paragraphs to build rapport with lots of details. Men want and need the
“bottom line” first and foremost, followed up with more details now that their need
for the bottom line has been met. Women want and need to build up to the bottom
line, as their enjoyment comes from telling the story. The enjoyment women find in
the telling of the story leading up the bottom line often becomes very frustrating for
men, which often leads to disagreements. To communicate effectively with those of
the opposite sex, it is necessary to change your approach, by women fulfilling the
mans need for the bottom line first and men fulfilling the woman’s need by giving
more details.
Bridging the communication gap between men and women goes far beyond the
obvious. On average, women use 25,500 words in a day while men use about
12,500 in a day. A man using 12,495 words during an average work day comes
home with only five words left, “What’s for dinner?” (that’s three!) and “Good
Night” (that‘s five!). On average, women maintain eye contact while speaking for
twelve seconds vs. a man maintaining eye contact for three seconds. Change your
approach by balancing the needed eye contact and number of words spoken, you
will find disagreements and hurt feelings will be exponentially minimized.
How do men and women decide differently?
Man tends to be different in approach while making a decision. When most of their
decisions are guided by heads and intellect. Their head rules their hearts while
taking a decision. Man tends to ignore their feelings or intuition guided by heart.
Women are generally more comfortable talking about their feelings. Men prefer to
dwell on the facts and skip the feelings. The result: Communications trouble. Every
communication has both an intellectual and an emotional component, says Kenneth
Sole, a social psychologist based in Lee, N.H.
Women have been taught since childhood to use “hint language” when asking for
something she wants or needs. Unfortunately, men do not often get the hint, due to
the fact that men tend to take language very literally, focusing attention on the
context of the message rather than hidden meanings. Remember to speak THEIR
language not your own, being direct in an assertive and respectful manner,
understanding that when it comes to communication differences between men and
women and bridging the communication gap, delivery is everything.
The differences in men's and women's styles create a persistent "credibility gap,"
where women are credited with less authority and power than men.The biggest
complaint from all levels, all professions of women, is, 'How can I get men to take
me seriously? The requirement is to bridge this credibility gap.

3. While every couple and situation is different, learning the standard differences
between the genders can help you to come up with solutions to communication
problems between genders.
Embrace Communication Differences
Just because men and women generally communicate differently, doesn’t mean
that they can’t make and maintain powerful connections with one another. In fact,
many times your spouse or sweetheart may be able to make you think about
situations and events in a different light because of these communication
differences. Rather than get frustrated with each other’s differences, try to embrace
each other’s different opinions, conversation styles and approaches.
Through education, understanding, and practice you will improve your
communication skills, which will allow your relationship to evolve to a higher level
and that will bring you closer to being one entity.
From Shalu Dhamaniya
shalu.dhamaniya@gmail.com