Overcoming Bitterness Through Forgiveness

BITTERNESSBITTERNESS
Bible Study
Killorglin Baptist Church

What is bitterness?What is bitterness?

Kinds of bitternessKinds of bitterness
 The heart Prov. 14:10-11
Pro 14:10 The heart knows its own bitterness, and
no stranger shares its joy. Pro 14:11 The house of
the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the
upright will flourish.
 Bitterness – trouble

 Death 1 Sam. 15:32, Jer. 31:15
1Sa 15:32 Then Samuel said, "Bring here to me
Agag the king of the Amalekites." And Agag came to
him cheerfully. Agag said, "Surely the bitterness of
death is past."
 Jer 31:15 Thus says the LORD: "A voice is heard in
Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping. Rachel is
weeping for her children; she refuses to be comforted
for her children, because they are no more.“
 Bitterness – bitterness, anger, discontentedness,
bitterly

How do we recognise it?How do we recognise it?
Job 7:11 "Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish
of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. Job
7:12 Am I the sea, or a sea monster, that you set a guard over me? Job
7:13 When I say, 'My bed will comfort me, my couch will ease my
complaint, 'Job 7:14 then you scare me with dreams and terrify me with
visions, Job 7:15 so that I would choose strangling and death rather than
my bones. Job 7:16 I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Leave me
alone, for my days are a breath. Job 7:17 What is man, that you make so
much of him, and that you set your heart on him, Job 7:18 visit him
every morning and test him every moment? Job 7:19 How long will you not
look away from me, nor leave me alone till I swallow my spit? Job 7:20 If I
sin, what do I do to you, you watcher of mankind? Why have you made me
your mark? Why have I become a burden to you? Job 7:21 Why do
you not pardon my transgression and take away my iniquity? For now I shall
lie in the earth; you will seek me, but I shall not be."

Bitterness toward God?Bitterness toward God?

Job 7:11 "Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in
the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my
soul.
Job 9:18 he will not let me get my breath, but fills me with
bitterness.
Job 10:1 "I loathe my life; I will give free utterance to my
complaint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
Job 21:25 Another dies in bitterness of soul, never having
tasted of prosperity.

Causes of bitternessCauses of bitterness

 Childlessness 1 Sam. 1:5, 10
1Sa 1:5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion,
because he loved her, though the LORD had closed
her womb. 1Sa 1:10 She was deeply distressed and
prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly.
 Bitterness – bitterness, anger, discontentedness,
bitterly, heavy

 A foolish son Prov. 17:25
Pro 17:21 He who sires a fool gets himself sorrow,
and the father of a fool has no joy. Pro 17:25 A
foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her
who bore him
 Bitterness – grief, sorrow verse 21 depression

 Sickness Is. 38:17
Isa 38:14 Like a swallow or a crane I chirp; I moan like a dove. My
eyes are weary with looking upward. O Lord, I am oppressed; be my
pledge of safety! Isa 38:15 What shall I say? For he has spoken to
me, and he himself has done it. I walk slowly all my years because of
the bitterness of my soul. Isa 38:16 O Lord, by these things men live,
and in all these is the life of my spirit. Oh restore me to health and
make me live! Isa 38:17 Behold, it was for my welfare that I had
great bitterness; but in love you have delivered my life from the pit of
destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back.
 Bitterness – bitterness, anger, discontentedness, bitterly, heavy
Notice the importance of peace, love and deliverance here.

 Pride and a desire for recognition Acts 8:23.
Act 8:14 Now when the apostles at Jerusalem heard that Samaria had received
the word of God, they sent to them Peter and John, Act 8:15 who came down and
prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit, Act 8:16 for he had not
yet fallen on any of them, but they had only been baptized in the name of the Lord
Jesus. Act 8:17 Then they laid their hands on them and they received the Holy
Spirit. Act 8:18 Now when Simon saw that the Spirit was given through the laying
on of the apostles' hands, he offered them money, Act 8:19 saying, "Give me this
power also, so that anyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit."
Act 8:20 But Peter said to him, "May your silver perish with you, because you
thought you could obtain the gift of God with money! Act 8:21 You have neither
part nor lot in this matter, for your heart is not right before God. Act 8:22 Repent,
therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, the
intent of your heart may be forgiven you. Act 8:23 For I see that you are in the
gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity.“
 In The gall of bitterness- acridity, greenish hue, poison, infectious.

 Calamity Ruth 1:20-21
Ruth 1:20 She said to them, "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara,
for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. Ruth 1:21 I went
away full, and the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me
Naomi, when the LORD has testified against me and the Almighty
has brought calamity upon me?"
 Slavery, hardship Exodus 1:13-14
Exodus 1:13 So they ruthlessly made the people of Israel work as
slaves Exodus 1:14 and made their lives bitter with hard service, in
mortar and brick, and in all kinds of work in the field. In all their work
they ruthlessly made them work as slaves.

Heb 12:12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and
strengthen your weak knees, Heb 12:13 and make
straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may
not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Heb 12:14
Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness
without which no one will see the Lord. Heb 12:15 See
to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no
"root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble,
and by it many become defiled; Heb 12:16 that no
one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who
sold his birthright for a single meal. Heb 12:17 For you
know that afterward, when he desired to inherit the
blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to
repent, though he sought it with tears.

So then what is bitternessSo then what is bitterness
 Bitterness is an internal, self inflicting wound that
comes from responding improperly to an event or an
offense.
 The seed of bitterness is a recognized hurt that
causes one “to be bitter” or “to “cut” or “prick”

Danger of BitternessDanger of Bitterness

It is not easily detectedIt is not easily detected
 Hebrews 12:15 See to it that no one fails to obtain
the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness"
springs up and causes trouble, and by it many
become defiled;
 Note the importance that bitterness is
described as a root. It festers and builds like a
cancer, its poison goes about undetected as it
builds to become the destructive force it is.
 Questions?
What are the evidences of the root of
bitterness?

 Bitter fruit, Deuteronomy 32:32-33
Deu 32:32 For their vine comes from the vine of
Sodom and from the fields of Gomorrah; their grapes
are grapes of poison; their clusters are bitter;
 Deu 32:33 their wine is the poison of serpents and
the cruel venom of asps.
 Bitterness – bile, poison, venom.
Note that bitterness often goes undetected but is
seen by the poisonous bitter fruit.(tasting bitter
grapes)

 Bitterness harbored in heart, James 3:14.
Jas 3:14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish
ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to
the truth.

For our particular purposesFor our particular purposes
bitterness is the ultimatebitterness is the ultimate
result of not forgiving othersresult of not forgiving others
for an offense we feelfor an offense we feel
has been done to us.has been done to us.
Matthew 18:34-35Matthew 18:34-35

Devastating effects ofDevastating effects of
BitternessBitterness

Devastating effects of BitternessDevastating effects of Bitterness
 Malice toward others Eph. 4:31
Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander
be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one
another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave
you.Taking vengeance, backbiting, a spiteful remark, biting sarcasm, scornful
replies show signs of a resentful heart and is a sign of a heart of un-forgiveness
and makes it impossible to resolve on-going conflicts. We can withdraw, give
others the silent treatment, cold shoulder, react with intolerance or act with a
huge degree of hypersensitivity: treating a pin prick as though it were a knife.
We can become impatient with others and show disrespect, rebellion especially
if the authority figure is unkind, or we can abuse our power is a subordinate has
offended us, we could spiral downwards into depression, and have doubts about
God because we re slipping further away from Him.
 Bitterness – acridity, poison

 As a source of defilement Heb. 12:12-17
Heb 12:12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your
weak knees, Heb 12:13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that
what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Heb
12:14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without
which no one will see the Lord. Heb 12:15 See to it that no one fails
to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and
causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; Heb 12:16 that
no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his
birthright for a single meal. Heb 12:17 For you know that afterward,
when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he
found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.
 Bitterness – acridity, poison

 Bitterness of soul, Job 3:20; Proverbs 14:10.
Job 3:20 "Why is light given to him who is in misery, and life to the
bitter in soul, Job 3:21 who long for death, but it comes not, and dig
for it more than for hidden treasures, Job 3:22 who rejoice
exceedingly and are glad when they find the grave?
Pro 14:10 The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger
shares its joy. Pro 14:11 The house of the wicked will be destroyed,
but the tent of the upright will flourish.~
 Bitterness – chafed, discontentedness, angry, trouble prov14

 Forsaking the Lord, Jeremiah 2:19.
Jeremiah 2:19 Your evil will chastise you, and your
apostasy will reprove you. Know and see that it is evil
and bitter for you to forsake the LORD your God; the
fear of me is not in you, declares the Lord GOD of
hosts.
 Bitterness – discontent heavy, great heavy

 Sinful behavior
“Cursing and bitterness,” Romans 3:14
Rom 3:14 "Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.“
 Hurting loved ones
Towards spouse and children Colossians 3:19,21, Ephesians 6:4
Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Col 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the
discipline and instruction of the Lord.
 Boasting, selfishness and falsehood James 3:14.
Jas 3:14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do
not boast and be false to the truth.

 Gall of bitterness, Lamentations 3:15.
Lam 3:10 He is a bear lying in wait for me, a lion in hiding; Lam 3:11 he turned
aside my steps and tore me to pieces; he has made me desolate; Lam 3:12 he
bent his bow and set me as a target for his arrow. Lam 3:13 He drove into my
kidneys the arrows of his quiver; Lam 3:14 I have become the laughingstock of all
peoples, the object of their taunts all day long. Lam 3:15 He has filled me with
bitterness; he has sated me with wormwood. Lam 3:16 He has made my teeth
grind on gravel, and made me cower in ashes; Lam 3:17 my soul is bereft of
peace; I have forgotten what happiness is; Lam 3:18 so I say, "My endurance has
perished; so has my hope from the LORD." Lam 3:19 Remember my affliction
and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam 3:20 My soul continually
remembers it and is bowed down within me.
 The prophet's contemporaries mocked and ridiculed him constantly. He had
become full of bitter experiences, like poison, which the Lord had given him to
drink (cf. Job_9:18).

 Punished conscience, Jeremiah 4:18.
Jeremiah 4:18 Your ways and your deeds have
brought this upon you. This is your doom, and it is
bitter; it has reached your very heart."
Bitterness – chafed, discontentedness. Again note
the residence of this bitterness and its
consequences.

Overcoming BitternessOvercoming Bitterness

LetLet allall bitterness and wrath andbitterness and wrath and
anger and clamor and slanderanger and clamor and slander
bebe put awayput away from you, alongfrom you, along
with all malice.with all malice.
Vs 32 BeVs 32 Be kindkind to one another,to one another,
tenderheartedtenderhearted,, forgivingforgiving oneone
another, as God in Christanother, as God in Christ
forgave you.forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32Ephesians 4:31-32

Overcoming BitternessOvercoming Bitterness
 Do you have constant thoughts of resentment
 “He wont ever change, I cant put up with it anymore”
 Anger is controlling your ability to solve problems
 Your hurt feelings overcome you so you cant forgive
 Are you resorting to sinful behaviour with abusive speech,
gossip, name calling, moods, tantrums, quarrelling, slander,
threats and withdrawal.

Forgiveness importantForgiveness important
 Establish if the offence was a sin seek restoration
Forgiveness is to be granted only is an offence has been
committed. Matthew 18:34-35
 If there has been no sin then there is nothing to forgive. If your
“feelings were hurt” or “if you were let down” but there was no
sin then your thinking abut the matter has to change before
you speak about your hurt to the other.
 You must always take the initiative to restore a relationship
and not let your hurt feelings allow you to fester into bitterness
against someone. Luke 17

Forgiveness importantForgiveness important
 Forgiveness is costly. Matthew 18:32-34.
We should remember what it cost the Lord to forgive
us our sins against Him and that he freely forgives by
his grace. Romans 5:9,Ephesians 2:8-9
 A bitter heart is ungrateful for the forgiveness
received from God. Forgiveness must be immediate
and unconditional.

Transformed Feelings and ActionsTransformed Feelings and Actions
 Psa 64:2 Hide me from the secret plots of the
wicked, from the throng of evildoers, Psa 64:3 who
whet their tongues like swords, who aim bitter words
like arrows,
 Ecc 7:26 And I find something more bitter than
death: the woman whose heart is snares and nets,
and whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God
escapes her, but the sinner is taken by her.

 It is your sin that must be put off. Ephesians 4:31.
Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor
and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
 Chang your thoughts and actions that have allowed bitterness to
fester.
Rom 12:21(17-21) Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil
with good.
Proverbs 15:28 The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer,
but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

 When we respond to others with bitterness we loose
them and will eventually loose the battle. Only
goodness overcomes.
 Don’t retreat, do not surrender, do not give up, don’t
throw in the towel, don’t whimper away, don’t allow
evil to overthrow you, you may not allow another’s sin
to provoke you to sin, you must overcome evil with
good, don’t take revenge. (Romans 12:19, 1
Corinthians 4:5)

Understanding and Manifesting LoveUnderstanding and Manifesting Love

Love our enemies.
Romans 12:20,
Matthew 5:43-45,
Galatians 6:1,
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

We love others by meeting their needs
unconditionally. (Not their desires)
This will take away the residual feelings of bitterness
against others.

Overcoming Bitterness Through Forgiveness

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