Delivered at the Universty of Otago, for the Web Services team, this presentation covers web browsing habits, and the basic web writing techniques that cater for them. Headings, sub-headings, and link text feature the most.
CS Forum 2016: Content people and marketing people. It's complicated.Max Johns
How do ‘pure marketers’ think about content, and how do ‘pure content people’ think about marketing? The content strategists at CS Forum 2016 (Melbourne) heard about the prejudices, the sad truths, and the misunderstandings that can cause conflict. And they heard it from someone that’s been on both sides of the fence.
Reflective Essay On Science
Sociology as a Science Essay
What Is Earth Science? Essay
Why Science Is Important?
Science Essay
My Passion For Science
Environmental Science Essay
Essay about Life Science
Value of Science Essay
My Science Fair Project
Science and Literature Essay
Science and Religion Essays
Ethics in Science Essay
CS Forum 2016: Content people and marketing people. It's complicated.Max Johns
How do ‘pure marketers’ think about content, and how do ‘pure content people’ think about marketing? The content strategists at CS Forum 2016 (Melbourne) heard about the prejudices, the sad truths, and the misunderstandings that can cause conflict. And they heard it from someone that’s been on both sides of the fence.
Reflective Essay On Science
Sociology as a Science Essay
What Is Earth Science? Essay
Why Science Is Important?
Science Essay
My Passion For Science
Environmental Science Essay
Essay about Life Science
Value of Science Essay
My Science Fair Project
Science and Literature Essay
Science and Religion Essays
Ethics in Science Essay
Week 9 Earth and Space SciencesThe Earth and Space Sciences sub-s.docxmelbruce90096
Week 9: Earth and Space SciencesThe Earth and Space Sciences sub-strand
This week we will be exploring the Science Understanding sub-strand of Earth and Space Sciences. The study of Earth and Space Sciences focuses on developing students’ understandings of their place both within the broader universe and at a much closer level developing their understanding of geological processes and the weather and environment on Earth. We will continue our exploration of models to support understanding and provide examples of how to use digital technology in our science lessons.
Begin by watching the video Science & Space: Solar System 101(National Geographic Kids, 2014). What do you recall from your own education and what is new information for you?
Then watch the short video Make a mini solar system (ABC Splash, 2014) about modelling a mini solar system and think about how do we get across to students the sheer size of something as big as the solar system?
The week at a glance
Explore
Investigate
Dynamic Earth
Extending the use of models
Science and culture (an introduction to the Science as a Human Endeavour strand)
Suggested activities
Primary Connections resource and audio tour: Earthquake explorers
Primary Connections resource and audio tour: Earth's place in space
Links to and use of digital technologies
Planning toolkit
Science & Space: Solar System 101 (2014)<http://tinyurl.com/phy5khd>
Make a mini solar system (ABC Splash, 2014) <http://ab.co/1uBjHvr>
Click to go to theABC splash website for resources and ideas for teaching this topic.Dynamic Earth
The Australian Curriculum: Science (ACARA, 2014) Earth and Space sciences sub-strand is concerned with "Earth’s dynamic structure and its place in the cosmos." You can read the full description of this sub-strand within the Australian Curriculum: Science Content structure overview (ACARA, 2014). What does ‘ Earth’s dynamic structure and its place in the cosmos’ mean within a primary school and what we need to teach from F-6?Scope and sequence
The scope and sequence chart for Earth and space sciences allows us, at a glance, to see the content descriptions from Foundation to Year 6 and therefore how students’ understanding of Earth and space sciences progresses in both depth and breadth (ACARA, 2014). As shown in the scope and sequence screenshot, in Foundation year students learn that daily and seasonal changes in our environment, including the weather, affect everyday life and by Year 6 that sudden geological changes or extreme weather conditions can affect Earth’s surface.
Foundation Year
Year 1
Year 2
Year 3
Year 4
Year 5
Year 6
Earth and space sciences
Daily and seasonal changes in our environment, including the weather, affect everyday life.
Observable changes occur in the sky and landscape.
Earth's resources including water, are used in a variety of ways.
Earth's rotation on its axis causes regular changes, including day and night.
Earth's surface changes over time as a result of natural process.
PS.E-MO-6.08: Characterization of Optical Signal by Extension Ratio & the Fib...Dr. Ved Nath Jha
In 2021 AAPT Virtual Summer Meet Published abstract is PS.E-MO-6.08: Characterization of Optical Signal by Extension Ratio & the Fiber-Length
Contributed – Ved Nath Jha, Mangalayatan University
My Passion For Science
Reflective Essay On Science
Value of Science Essay
Electricity Energy Story
Science and Literature Essay
Environmental Science Essay
What Is Earth Science? Essay
Why Science Is Important?
Ethics in Science Essay
Physical Science Reflection
Science Essay
Science and Religion Essays
The Spring 2017 edition of the Weizmann Magazine covers a range of topics, from the impact of modern microscopy on science to that of editing the genome. Notably, within the topic of microscopy, it also covers the story of the de Picciotto-Lesser Cancer Cell Observatory in Memory of Wolfgang and Ruth Lesser, a crucial component of the Moross Integrated Cancer Center (MICC) within the Weizmann Institute of Science. The observatory was founded by Michael de Picciotto and its current scientific head is Dr Yoseph Addadi. Its establishment does much to enhance the research abilities of the MICC through the in-depth analysis of cells that it offers for scientists and researchers and serves as an excellent addition to the Weizmann Institute of Science.
The Cancer Cell Observatory provides scientists and researchers with in-depth analysis of cancer cells by means of advanced imaging technology. This allows for high resolution cell action to be viewed in real-time. Prof Benjamin Geiger asserts that the observatory has a revolutionary potential for the centre’s capability to process life processes, offering unprecedented depth as well as allowing for a deeper understanding of life processes. This in turn may have amazing implications for developing new diagnostic and therapeutic solutions. The observatory was founded in part as an effort to celebrate life through advancing life-saving research on the part of Michael de Picciotto. He sought to immortalise the lives of his grandparents, Wolfgang and Ruth Lesser, who were known as charitable people and who played a large role in his life.
Meet up Milano 14 _ Axpo Italia_ Migration from Mule3 (On-prem) to.pdfFlorence Consulting
Quattordicesimo Meetup di Milano, tenutosi a Milano il 23 Maggio 2024 dalle ore 17:00 alle ore 18:30 in presenza e da remoto.
Abbiamo parlato di come Axpo Italia S.p.A. ha ridotto il technical debt migrando le proprie APIs da Mule 3.9 a Mule 4.4 passando anche da on-premises a CloudHub 1.0.
Instagram has become one of the most popular social media platforms, allowing people to share photos, videos, and stories with their followers. Sometimes, though, you might want to view someone's story without them knowing.
Ready to Unlock the Power of Blockchain!Toptal Tech
Imagine a world where data flows freely, yet remains secure. A world where trust is built into the fabric of every transaction. This is the promise of blockchain, a revolutionary technology poised to reshape our digital landscape.
Toptal Tech is at the forefront of this innovation, connecting you with the brightest minds in blockchain development. Together, we can unlock the potential of this transformative technology, building a future of transparency, security, and endless possibilities.
Bridging the Digital Gap Brad Spiegel Macon, GA Initiative.pptxBrad Spiegel Macon GA
Brad Spiegel Macon GA’s journey exemplifies the profound impact that one individual can have on their community. Through his unwavering dedication to digital inclusion, he’s not only bridging the gap in Macon but also setting an example for others to follow.
Italy Agriculture Equipment Market Outlook to 2027harveenkaur52
Agriculture and Animal Care
Ken Research has an expertise in Agriculture and Animal Care sector and offer vast collection of information related to all major aspects such as Agriculture equipment, Crop Protection, Seed, Agriculture Chemical, Fertilizers, Protected Cultivators, Palm Oil, Hybrid Seed, Animal Feed additives and many more.
Our continuous study and findings in agriculture sector provide better insights to companies dealing with related product and services, government and agriculture associations, researchers and students to well understand the present and expected scenario.
Our Animal care category provides solutions on Animal Healthcare and related products and services, including, animal feed additives, vaccination
Más contenido relacionado
Similar a Web writing workshop - University of Otago, April 30
Week 9 Earth and Space SciencesThe Earth and Space Sciences sub-s.docxmelbruce90096
Week 9: Earth and Space SciencesThe Earth and Space Sciences sub-strand
This week we will be exploring the Science Understanding sub-strand of Earth and Space Sciences. The study of Earth and Space Sciences focuses on developing students’ understandings of their place both within the broader universe and at a much closer level developing their understanding of geological processes and the weather and environment on Earth. We will continue our exploration of models to support understanding and provide examples of how to use digital technology in our science lessons.
Begin by watching the video Science & Space: Solar System 101(National Geographic Kids, 2014). What do you recall from your own education and what is new information for you?
Then watch the short video Make a mini solar system (ABC Splash, 2014) about modelling a mini solar system and think about how do we get across to students the sheer size of something as big as the solar system?
The week at a glance
Explore
Investigate
Dynamic Earth
Extending the use of models
Science and culture (an introduction to the Science as a Human Endeavour strand)
Suggested activities
Primary Connections resource and audio tour: Earthquake explorers
Primary Connections resource and audio tour: Earth's place in space
Links to and use of digital technologies
Planning toolkit
Science & Space: Solar System 101 (2014)<http://tinyurl.com/phy5khd>
Make a mini solar system (ABC Splash, 2014) <http://ab.co/1uBjHvr>
Click to go to theABC splash website for resources and ideas for teaching this topic.Dynamic Earth
The Australian Curriculum: Science (ACARA, 2014) Earth and Space sciences sub-strand is concerned with "Earth’s dynamic structure and its place in the cosmos." You can read the full description of this sub-strand within the Australian Curriculum: Science Content structure overview (ACARA, 2014). What does ‘ Earth’s dynamic structure and its place in the cosmos’ mean within a primary school and what we need to teach from F-6?Scope and sequence
The scope and sequence chart for Earth and space sciences allows us, at a glance, to see the content descriptions from Foundation to Year 6 and therefore how students’ understanding of Earth and space sciences progresses in both depth and breadth (ACARA, 2014). As shown in the scope and sequence screenshot, in Foundation year students learn that daily and seasonal changes in our environment, including the weather, affect everyday life and by Year 6 that sudden geological changes or extreme weather conditions can affect Earth’s surface.
Foundation Year
Year 1
Year 2
Year 3
Year 4
Year 5
Year 6
Earth and space sciences
Daily and seasonal changes in our environment, including the weather, affect everyday life.
Observable changes occur in the sky and landscape.
Earth's resources including water, are used in a variety of ways.
Earth's rotation on its axis causes regular changes, including day and night.
Earth's surface changes over time as a result of natural process.
PS.E-MO-6.08: Characterization of Optical Signal by Extension Ratio & the Fib...Dr. Ved Nath Jha
In 2021 AAPT Virtual Summer Meet Published abstract is PS.E-MO-6.08: Characterization of Optical Signal by Extension Ratio & the Fiber-Length
Contributed – Ved Nath Jha, Mangalayatan University
My Passion For Science
Reflective Essay On Science
Value of Science Essay
Electricity Energy Story
Science and Literature Essay
Environmental Science Essay
What Is Earth Science? Essay
Why Science Is Important?
Ethics in Science Essay
Physical Science Reflection
Science Essay
Science and Religion Essays
The Spring 2017 edition of the Weizmann Magazine covers a range of topics, from the impact of modern microscopy on science to that of editing the genome. Notably, within the topic of microscopy, it also covers the story of the de Picciotto-Lesser Cancer Cell Observatory in Memory of Wolfgang and Ruth Lesser, a crucial component of the Moross Integrated Cancer Center (MICC) within the Weizmann Institute of Science. The observatory was founded by Michael de Picciotto and its current scientific head is Dr Yoseph Addadi. Its establishment does much to enhance the research abilities of the MICC through the in-depth analysis of cells that it offers for scientists and researchers and serves as an excellent addition to the Weizmann Institute of Science.
The Cancer Cell Observatory provides scientists and researchers with in-depth analysis of cancer cells by means of advanced imaging technology. This allows for high resolution cell action to be viewed in real-time. Prof Benjamin Geiger asserts that the observatory has a revolutionary potential for the centre’s capability to process life processes, offering unprecedented depth as well as allowing for a deeper understanding of life processes. This in turn may have amazing implications for developing new diagnostic and therapeutic solutions. The observatory was founded in part as an effort to celebrate life through advancing life-saving research on the part of Michael de Picciotto. He sought to immortalise the lives of his grandparents, Wolfgang and Ruth Lesser, who were known as charitable people and who played a large role in his life.
Similar a Web writing workshop - University of Otago, April 30 (9)
Meet up Milano 14 _ Axpo Italia_ Migration from Mule3 (On-prem) to.pdfFlorence Consulting
Quattordicesimo Meetup di Milano, tenutosi a Milano il 23 Maggio 2024 dalle ore 17:00 alle ore 18:30 in presenza e da remoto.
Abbiamo parlato di come Axpo Italia S.p.A. ha ridotto il technical debt migrando le proprie APIs da Mule 3.9 a Mule 4.4 passando anche da on-premises a CloudHub 1.0.
Instagram has become one of the most popular social media platforms, allowing people to share photos, videos, and stories with their followers. Sometimes, though, you might want to view someone's story without them knowing.
Ready to Unlock the Power of Blockchain!Toptal Tech
Imagine a world where data flows freely, yet remains secure. A world where trust is built into the fabric of every transaction. This is the promise of blockchain, a revolutionary technology poised to reshape our digital landscape.
Toptal Tech is at the forefront of this innovation, connecting you with the brightest minds in blockchain development. Together, we can unlock the potential of this transformative technology, building a future of transparency, security, and endless possibilities.
Bridging the Digital Gap Brad Spiegel Macon, GA Initiative.pptxBrad Spiegel Macon GA
Brad Spiegel Macon GA’s journey exemplifies the profound impact that one individual can have on their community. Through his unwavering dedication to digital inclusion, he’s not only bridging the gap in Macon but also setting an example for others to follow.
Italy Agriculture Equipment Market Outlook to 2027harveenkaur52
Agriculture and Animal Care
Ken Research has an expertise in Agriculture and Animal Care sector and offer vast collection of information related to all major aspects such as Agriculture equipment, Crop Protection, Seed, Agriculture Chemical, Fertilizers, Protected Cultivators, Palm Oil, Hybrid Seed, Animal Feed additives and many more.
Our continuous study and findings in agriculture sector provide better insights to companies dealing with related product and services, government and agriculture associations, researchers and students to well understand the present and expected scenario.
Our Animal care category provides solutions on Animal Healthcare and related products and services, including, animal feed additives, vaccination
22. Useful headings: Bachelor of Health Sciences, canterbury.ac.nz
• Overview
• Features of the
Bachelor of Health
Sciences at UC
• Entry requirements
• Qualification structure
and duration
• Typical degree
structure
• Subjects and courses
• Major subjects
• [6 options listed]
• Recommended preparation
• How to apply
• Further study
• Career opportunities
• More information
32. Audience: Prospective physics students
Purpose: Make them want to study here
What type of student might consider a Physics degree?
Famous [University] alumnus, Ernest Rutherford, was
intrigued in childhood by seeing a stick apparently bend
when dipped into a farm bucket of water; Albert Einstein
asked how his face would appear in a hand-held mirror if
he ran at some significant fraction of the speed of light. A
budding physicist may share this fascination with and
curiosity about the natural world.
33. Audience: Prospective physics students
Purpose: Make them want to study here
Physics aims to understand the
entire physical world, from the
sub-atomic to the cosmological.
34. Audience: Prospective physics students
Purpose: Make them want to study here
Our students join a lively
intellectual environment that
offers innovative teaching and
world-leading research in superb
new facilities.
35. Audience: Prospective physics students
Purpose: Make them want to study here
The University of [somewhere] is home to New
Zealand's largest Department of Physics. Our
students and scientists explore the
fundamental properties of the physical world,
and tackle problems ranging from searching for
planets around other stars to developing new
medical imaging devices and laser technologies.
36. What type of student might consider a Physics degree?
Famous [University] alumnus, Ernest Rutherford, was
intrigued in childhood by seeing a stick apparently
bend when dipped into a farm bucket of water; Albert
Einstein asked how his face would appear in a hand-
held mirror if he ran at some significant fraction of the
speed of light. A budding physicist may share this
fascination with and curiosity about the natural world.
37. You’re curious about the
natural world. Study physics
here and we’ll feed your
fascination, just like we fed
Ernest Rutherford’s.
38. Physics aims to understand the
entire physical world, from the
sub-atomic to the
cosmological.
39. Enrolling in Physics is the first step
to understanding the entire
physical world, from the sub-
atomic to the cosmological.
40. Our students join a lively
intellectual environment that
offers innovative teaching and
world-leading research in superb
new facilities.
41. Join a lively, intellectual school for
innovative teaching and world-
leading research in superb new
facilities.
42. The University of [somewhere] is home to New
Zealand's largest Department of Physics. Our
students and scientists explore the
fundamental properties of the physical world,
and tackle problems ranging from searching for
planets around other stars to developing new
medical imaging devices and laser technologies.
43. Want to search for new planets,
develop new medical imaging devices,
and play with lasers? At New Zealand's
largest Physics Department, we call it
‘exploring the fundamental properties
of the world’.
Most visitors don’t start at the top and work their way through the site navigation. They’re looking for something specific.
And even with 958,000 places to go, they’ll always be doing 1 of 2 things.
FIRST THING THAT PEOPLE MIGHT DO: Consume information, for example course pre-requisites, restrictions, texts, assessment methods, timetables and fees.
SECOND THING PEOPLE MIGHT DO: Interact – do stuff. Complete a task, for example enrolling or calculating how expensive Massey is to attend.
During both interaction and consumption, 2 things are true:
They’d rather be doing something else. They’re in task mode and just want to get something done.
Your job, therefore, is to help people get something done.
Rugby kitten is ridiculously awesome, but she’s not helping you learn about web writing. Bad content breaks the user’s flow.
Good content is not:
Whatever you feel like producing
Whatever your boss wants to tell people
Whatever fills the template
Whatever you can get signed off before 5pm
Good content is content that helps people get stuff done. It tells people stuff they want to know.
But here’s something about telling people stuff they want to know:
They don’t really read that much.
In 2013, Chartbeat looked at things like bounce rates and scroll depth on slate.com. Across the site, how much of a page do people typically get through before they leave?
First spike in graph: No scrolling at all – ‘this is not the article I want’
50th percentile: Around half the page
Right-hand spike: 100% read (beyond that is comments and other post-article stuff). ‘Articles’ that fit on a single screen (eg video) count as fully viewed. People get through photo galleries.
And Slate is home to recreational web-surfing – stuff that people choose to read. So this data shows
a good result.
…Slate wrote this kind of shamed article about what they learned…
…and so did Fast Company, Huffington Post, Digital Trends, The Verge… Basically, everyone had the same way to tell this story. But in 2013 this wasn’t even news.
Jakob Nielson nailed it five years earlier: When people are in task mode, they take in about a quarter of your words.
Neilson’s graphs weren’t as pretty, but on slide 13 note the levelling off at 200-300 words. The rule holds over short and long pages.
What this means for web writers:
Get to the point
Get the important stuff out first
Be brief if you can
Be interesting
Help people find the stuff they’re looking for
People aren’t just reading from the top until they get bored. They’re looking for interesting stuff and skipping the rest.
Going back to Chartbeat’s analysis of Slate, heaps of readers didn’t scroll at all and half didn’t get past halfway. But on slide 14 look at what happened when Chartbeat graphs out the total TIME spent on Slate pages.
The second half of the page, which only the minority of readers even reach, gets more minutes of eyeball time (across all visitors) than anywhere else.
If everyone scrolled down at the same rate, that graph would start red and fade out to blue.
(Note that the top half of the initial view is totally ignored – banner blindness.)
How do people work out where to spend their time on the page?
Eye-tracking tests show us exactly where on pages people actually look. Slide 15 shows an ‘About us’ page, an s-commerce product page, and a Google search result.
There’s a consistent F-shape: People look across the top, down the side (when they bother scrolling), then across where it looks like it might be relevant.
Eyes focus on:
Headings
The first few words of a paragraph
Things designed to stand out, like calls-to-action (links, buttons)
Images (especially faces)
And the first heading tells them whether they’re in the right place.
A QUICK STORY ABOUT HEADINGS
The closest café to my office is in the foyer of the NZI Building. Also in the foyer is this seat. It’s just a park bench, but there’s a piece of paper stuck to it.
‘About this seat…’
Who‘s going to read that? It’s a seat. Who cares? It’s boring, obvious, almost meaningless.
After 8 months, my coffee finally took so long that I resigned myself to reading ‘About this seat…’.
Turns out there’s actually something great about this seat. It’s made out of old toner cartridges! 100% recycled! And there’s more seats like this out there! That’s frickin’ amazing. No more cutting down trees to make park benches – we’ve got trash!
Ugh: ‘About this seat…’. Even the ellipsis (the three dots) just trail off like the writer got bored.
The heading needs to summarise the best bits. Something like THIS SEAT IS MADE OUT OF YOUR RUBBISH.
Anyway, that’s my story about headings. What happens once we know what a page is about, and we decide it’s the page for us?
Good news! Auckland Uni might be able to help relieve migraines!
But who did the research? What sort of research was it? Drug? Genetic? Physiological? New-age healing? How long till there’s a new product I can buy?
This (slide 19) is a chunk off text with no sub-headings. Imagine the F-Shape here – nothing will pull the eye right. It’s difficult to scan read with help from the writer.
Paragraphs already organise ideas, so LABEL them with sub-headings.
News articles are common offenders, but academic departments are guilty as well. AUT’s Law School Dean is making a first impression here, but it’s hard to tell what that impression is. (I had to shrink this page a lot to fit it to a single slide.)
Sub-headings are good. They break the text up into chunks, and label them.
But some work better than others. Waikato’s international scholarships are sub-headed, but it’s hard work for readers.
The sections sound very similar. Two headings are distinguished by fewer than half their words
Every heading starts with the same words. F-shaped skimming down the side of the page isn’t going to help.
A good example from Canterbury: 18 subheadings break up a long page. The information is ‘chunked’, and chunks are labelled. People easily can find the quarter of the page they care about.
Like headings, LINKS are also designed to stand out – e.g. red text.
Remember the bounce rate on Slate (the people who didn’t even scroll)? Chances are that they followed a link they should never have clicked.
Every week The Economist summarises its main stories and links to each main article. Nigeria’s recent election was important enough to lead the ‘Politics this week’ section and have two articles written about it. What are the two different angles in the articles? Which one would I get more out of? I have to click each link “here” link to compare the two. It takes time and effort, and I’m in task mode – time poor, don’t want to have to make an effort.
Do not waste your opportunity, while you have someone’s attention on your link text, to describe what they’ll see if they click it.
Common, lazy link text: ‘Find out more’; ‘More information’
“Click here” is probably the laziest. That phrase has 1.85B Google hits, and the top two are:
‘Don’t use “click here” as link text’ (W3.org, THE internet standards people)
‘Why your links should never say “click here”’ (Smashing Mag)
Examples from Victoria:
The better call to action is already there on the page!
- “scholarship recipients’ adventures” describes the content being linked to (especially after you solve the lazy apostrophe crime)
- “Read student blogs” tells you what you’ll get
By just using those words you improve the link text (and drop your word count).
At Canterbury, ‘Details here’ is baked into the page template for every academic profile. It was probably a quick way to deal with things, but it’s a waste of prominent text.
Professor Jarg Pettigna studies faultlines at Canterbury University. This link text, from a University in a city still recovering from a serious earthquake, makes work that sound uninteresting. Wow.
Canterbury again: hybrid of useful and not useful. The ‘click here’ crime hides the main call to action.
If you’re a post-grad at Auckland you get told to ‘click here’ for multiple calls to action, including the one of the most important thing you’ll do as a post-grad – submit your abstract (except there’s a lazy misspelling).
Here, though, but the ‘click here’ text isn’t even clickable!
Good link text tells you what’s behind the link – what you’re going to get. AUT have nailed it.
- -helps you make a decision.
- saves you time.
- reduces the effort of working out whether to click or not.
No two links sound the same – you don’t need to check to see which one is right.
Back to you, and what you do.
What you write needs to work for people in task mode.
It needs to get people interested enough to start looking down the page.
It needs to work for skim reading and F-shaped browsing.
It needs to take advantage of the design of headings and links.
Who are you writing for? What do people want to know? You need to know your AUDIENCE and your content’s PURPOSE.
A good opening identifies both these things. It calls to the people who you want to attract and it tells them what’s here for them, or what action they can take here.
So I picked a subject, physics, and went to 4 universities’ main pages for attracting new students. They each have a text block of some sort that opens the page. The audience has already found their way to the physics page, but might not have seen any other part of the site.
“I’m interested in studying physics at University. But that’s a pretty big decision. What university should I choose? And is physics the right major for me?”
This is the longest one.
It hardly mentions the university, or physics. It doesn’t mention studying physics. It works hard to explain who might be interested…but you’re only here if you’re already interested.
There’s no indication of the information or interaction that will follow if you read on.
Example 2 is shorter. It says more about studying physics than the last one, in many fewer words.
Hints at what you’ll learn, which is probably some of the information that people want.
Example 3 is short, and talks about the school and its teachers. It’s good on what sort of experience you might have if you enrol – again, part of the information people probably want.
#4 is another longer one, mainly about the department and what you learn. There’s good information (if you manage to read it all).
BUT none of them are particularly direct. They’re describing things to the reader, but not addressing the reader. The eventual interaction – ENROL, APPLY – isn’t there.
But it’s not about stuffing things down throats, either. Going back through them, here’s my attempt to distil the message.
The audience is identified by curiosity.
The purpose (hidden in the original) is to get people to want to study here.
Name-dropping Sir Ernest can’t hurt.
This is a subtler re-write, recasting the good description of physics to link it to the page’s purpose – getting people to enrol.
Put the reader in the action – rather than talking about ‘our students’, talk about becoming one. So long as the page design name the school clearly enough, you can even drop the word ‘physics’ completely.
Job one: reduce word count.
Drop the uni name – surely the site already has that taken care of.
Drop where we’re looking for planets (people already know what’s around the sun).
Simplify what’s left.
Reward people who read the whole thing with a bit of human touch at the end. (Remember, we’re trying to appeal to people, not give them their 1st lecture).
Remember that you’re writing for readers in task mode. Remember how much they (don’t) read, and the F-shape their eyeballs follow when they browse. Do what you can to help people find and understand the stuff they’re looking for.