1. COUN•SOUL (koun|sel)
v. to inspire mid-level professionals to get
unstuck and take action on what’s next
URSULA LIFF
with strategic guidance from E. J. Kim
02
If your society’s going haywire, it’s up
to you to begin fixing it. If your work
is sucking at your soul, and you see
it doing relentless damage to people
and society, quit and do something
else. No, it’s not easy — but odds are,
the axe is going to fall over the next
decade anyways. Value your inner life
as much as you value your outer stuff.
Stop buying into marketing’s
spin-cycle of self-loathing — Feeling
anxious? Buy this, now!!” — and start
investing your time, energy, and
imagination in action instead of stuff.
“
Umair Haque, “Make the Dangerous Choice to
Dissent”, Harvard Business Review, October 2011
2. 0403
NOTE ON MID-LEVEL
PROFESSIONALS
We’ve wrestled with the term mid-level
professional, as there really isn’t a word for those
of us who are far enough along to not solidly sit in
generation Y. We built the early part of our careers
in the wake of 9/11 and soldiered on during the
recession of 2008, many of us earning mandatory
graduate degrees. We have 5-15 years of
experience and are ready to get serious about we
want our lives to be about. Not all of us will find
the coaching process compelling, counSOUL is for
the “Seekers” among us who are looking for more
meaningful answers. counSOUL is about figuring
it out now, rather than 25 years down the road.
A CALL
TO ACTION
FOR MID-LEVEL
PROFESSIONALS
Thank you for your interest in counSOUL and for
downloading our insights and questions.
We’ve been on a journey since January 2012 when I
decided to spend time understanding why so many of
my peers felt stuck, unmotivated and rudderless at work.
Two years after graduating with my MBA from Babson
College and landing my dream job in marketing strategy
inside a prestigious advertising agency, I made a “crazy”
decision to quit my job. After interviewing & surveying
hundreds of mid-level professionals, career coaches and
senior executives, I realized I was not alone:
83% of mid-level professionals are finding it
challenging to develop a fulfilling career
65% feel that companies are falling short on
mentoring and career development support.
Read my four insights about what is making mid-level
professionals feel stuck at work and reflect on your own
work life through the questions after each one. What’s
clear is that the simple act of taking time to stop and
think about who we are, what we stand for and where we
are going is missing from our lives.
counSOUL provides a structured environment for you to
take this thinking to the next level and make some
different choices by working one-on-one with a coach.
Yes, I created a personalized career coaching bootcamp
for myself and I’m sharing it with you.
Ursula Liff
3. 0605
BOUNDARIES
Mid-level professionals give up their personal time to
work-related activities and lose track of their own goals.1NO.
ONE DIMENSIONAL
Mid-level professionals are too tired to incorporate
activities that give their lives meaning: hobbies,
volunteering, cultural activities, reading and often
operate day-to-day without inspiration.
MENTORLESS
Mid-level professionals feel swept up in an unwavering
focus on productivity at work that de-prioritizes human
interaction, mentoring and professional development.
OUTSIDE IN
Mid-level professionals don’t create space to self-reflect
and give themselves permission to be works-in-progress.
They find themselves living a life of “shoulds.”
2NO.
3NO.
4NO.
INSIGHTS
“It is a life where we should be climbing
the corporate ladder, where we should
be getting married by a certain age,
where we should be moving out to the
burbs and buying a house. I think it is
the fear of doing something else. I think it
is being socially chastised, professionally
chastised. Time. Money. Not having
enough of either one. Fear of what family
is going to be saying. Fear of a lack of
formal training or education. Fear that
you are not good enough. That you are
not smart enough. That you are not rich
enough.
Ashley Carneal
counSOUL Coach / Owner, Power in Partners Coaching
4. 0807
BOUNDARIES
Mid-level professionals give up their
personal time to work-related activities
and lose track of their own goals.
Mobile devices intertwine work and personal lives
to such a degree that many have lost the ability to
know when work begins and ends. Without clear
boundaries in place, workdays become a lot longer.
Managers send messages at any point in the day or
night to keep projects moving forward. Direct
reports respond quickly to show they are on the job.
Swept up in the frenzy of emails, there is rarely time
to stop and think. It is not uncommon for mid-level
professionals to sit at their desk for 10-12-14 hours
straight with no fresh air, minimal movement, and
little change in perspective. Despite technology,
managers feel most comfortable seeing their direct
reports at their desk, looking productive. Mid-level
professionals sacrifice their personal time to catch
up on email after hours – they are left asking, “where
is the off switch?”
Human beings need a daily sense that life is
precious. Technology removes them from that very
basic truth. It makes them feel omnipotent. They live
in too much possibility. They don’t see themselves as
limited, which allows them to slow down.
Jeffrey Kerr
Founder, Human Matters
1NO.
What mid-level professionals are saying:
I want to redefine the word “urgent,” I am sick of
10 pm emails that require action before 9 am.
I need more courage to put up boundaries and
say “no”.
I’m always driving towards a deadline and think it will
slow down then, but it never does.
I want whatever you are creating to have a start time
so that I can have a hard stop at work.
There is no time to recharge and unplug just for
a few minutes, there are no stressless moments.
HOW DOES THIS INSIGHT APPLY TO YOU?
How have you compromised personal time for
work time?
How effective are you in creating structure around your
personal goals and carving out space to work on them?
How productive are you during the day? What is getting
in your way of finishing work by the end of the day?
What are you escaping from when you throw yourself
into work email after hours?
“
5. 1009
What mid-level professionals are saying:
I want time for myself that isn’t sleep.
I want to watch less TV and create more. I love to
crochet, but when I get home reality TV just feels easier.
I used to volunteer and I loved it, but with my commute
there’s no way I can do that anymore.
I feel so beaten down. I know I should force myself
to do something beyond work, but it feels too hard.
I feel penalized at work when I try anything out of the
ordinary. If I do, I have to stay late to finish my work
and that just makes my week even longer.
HOW DOES THIS INSIGHT APPLY TO YOU?
List the activities that inspire you. When was the last
time you engaged in any of them?
What activities did you do as a kid that brought a
sense of freedom?
What makes you feel creative or inspired?
What activities must be part of your daily weekly life
for you to feel grounded?
“ Mid-level professionals are too tired to
incorporate activities that give their
lives meaning—hobbies, volunteering,
cultural activities, reading—and often
operate day-to-day without inspiration.
Extracurricular activities are seen as nice-to-haves
rather than the self-expression needed to gain
perspective and mental fortitude. By the time
mid-level professionals are in their late 20s, many
feel like they don’t know themselves well enough
to know what they want to do (or learn!). Still, we
identified a strong desire for an outlet beyond
the gym – a creative outlet. Across the board, we
heard how life had become a cycle of working,
eating and sleeping only. Today, many mid-level
professionals experience nothing fun, energizing or
joyful during their day. Without it, they are prone to
depression and feeling energy-less. A society that
relishes instant gratification and champions those
who can get things done leaves little time for less
results-driven activities such as playing with a dog,
watering a house plant or cooking.
There is very little for adults to do other than go
out to eat. There are the movies but that is solitary.
People want to do something…There is something
about leaving your adult responsibilities behind and
going back to the art room at The Paint Bar.
People are amazed that they can create something
of value. They love that experience.
Jill Kerner Schon
Founder, The Paint Bar
ONE
DIMENSIONAL
2NO.
6. 1211
What mid-level professionals are saying:
There is no camaraderie. I want some emotional
connection to my manager. Instead I feel ignored.
I want to understand how my role is (or isn’t) tied to
the company’s core. I have no context.
I want an opportunity to do something new, outside
of my function area. They always say at the beginning
that it will happen and then it never does.
My manager is so focused on climbing the corporate
ladder (and doing the jobs of two people) that there is
hardly anytime devoted to my development.
HOW DOES THIS INSIGHT APPLY TO YOU?
Who is your champion at work?
What does professional development mean to you?
How is it present at work?
When was the last time you sat down with your
manager and/or other senior leaders to discuss
your career?
When was the last time you connected with a colleague
outside of work?
“
MENTORLESS3NO.
Mid-level professionals feel swept up in
an unwavering focus on productivity at
work that de-prioritizes human interaction,
mentoring and professional development.
There is no time for mentoring or professional
development, the very thing mid-level professionals
need to stay motivated. They feel that no one has
their back. Many find their annual 360-review pointless
because there are few actionable opportunities to
develop and little feedback throughout the year to
make it a substantive process. Managers show up at
work at 8:30 and they turn themselves off and go into
work mode, according to one HR exec. Direct reports
long to be touched emotionally, but it’s hard to get
through to managers who are overburdened and
don’t have time for the soft stuff. There is waning trust
in the process and a growing sense that professional
development cannot be obtained within the organization.
Many mid-level professionals feel there is no feedback,
no movement and no hope of advancement.
Coaching aimed at improving the performance of
people who are already professionals is less usual...
The capabilities of doctors matter every bit as much
as the technology. This is true of all professions.
What ultimately makes the difference is how well
people use technology. We have devoted disastrously
little attention to fostering those abilities…
Atul Gawande
Surgeon / Author, The New Yorker, October 2011
7. What mid-level professionals are saying:
It’s the expectation; I’m afraid of what others will think
if I try something new.
I want a space to be where I don’t feel guilty about
all the things that I am not doing.
I don’t want to feel pressure to be “on” all the time.
I want a moment to think.
I need a retreat center with an adult education
structure but mixed with Cambridge zen-center vibes.
I want to do something that bolsters my faith.
HOW DOES THIS INSIGHT APPLY TO YOU?
How often does the word “should” enter into your
vocabulary?
How often do you put time aside to self-reflect?
How often do you complain about your work life?
When was the last time you thought about your
values and how they relate to your work?
What is getting in the way of you pursuing something
you love?
“
OUTSIDE IN
Mid-level professionals don’t create space
to self-reflect and give themselves
permission to be works-in-progress. They
find themselves living a life of “shoulds.”
Without time to take a step back, many measure their
lives against others, focusing on what they should
be doing and how it aligns with other’s expectations.
Mid-level professionals are often given paths to
emulate that have lost relevance in a new economy
and aren’t given tools to ask themselves the right
questions so they can write their own story. By their
late 20s, they are living someone else’s life.
Symptoms? They are stressed when they don’t meet
certain benchmarks by age thirty. They are doing
everything right at work, but have plateaued. They
are dependent on their paycheck to deliver fulfillment.
They are full of excuses about why they are not able
to make changes. The vast majority of mid-level
professionals, do not know how to set time aside to
turn inward and be clear about what they value.
Stepping off the Path means leaving the prestigious
job that everyone says you should want in order to
pursue your true calling. That takes courage, and can
be a lonely process. Quiet as it’s kept, there are lots of
people who know what they want, but are too afraid
to go after it.
Akiba Smith-Francis
counSOUL Coach / Founder, Stepping Off the Path
4NO.
1413
8. 15
What lies at the center of the work/life conversation
is whether what we do at work needs to be something
that we love. No matter where you stand on the issue,
when you don’t feel inspired by any part of your life,
when joy is eliminated, you become useless to your
company, and more importantly to your own life. You
don’t have to find meaning at work, but you have to
find meaning in some aspect of life to be productive
and to not burnout. When all time is work time, there
is a loss of perspective that is not sustainable.
There is no shortage of articles, self-help books and
advice on the subject, but the problem is that these
tools do not provide the structure and support
mid-level professionals need to work through the
career and life transitions they so desperately want to
consider. There are very few places that allow young
professionals to be a work in progress and reflect
on their choices. As any coach will tell you, change is
hard, and we don’t live in an age that respects limbo.
Mid-level professionals need the guidance and
support to knit their lives together more intentionally.
The insights that proceeded identify why many are
burning out earlier in their career than ever before.
Organizations have no choice but to think more
imaginatively about attracting, developing and
retaining talent. However, the responsibility to find a
way to live more meaningfully lies within each of us.
The stark truth is no one is going to do it for you.
Not everyone will take the leap, but the counSOUL
premise is that many are ready to lead their lives
more creatively.
WHY
COUNSOUL
TODAY
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BOOTCAMP,
VISIT WWW.COUNSOUL.ORG
I would like to beg you to have patience with
everything unresolved in your heart and to try to
love the questions themselves as if they were locked
rooms or books written in a very foreign language.
Don’t search for the answers, which could not be
given to you now, because you would not be able to
live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live
the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the
future, you will gradually, without even noticing it,
live your way into the answer.
Rainer Maria Rilke, “Letters to a Young Poet”