1. The Holiday
TIMES
Number 13  December 2009
Exuberant Christmas
greetings and
late-breaking
news
from the
Van Koevering
family
Van Koeverings On Track for 2012
When
the
Mayan
calendar
ends
on
enjoy
some
snacks.
We've
also
had
ancient
prophecies
when
we
December
21,
2012,
the
Van
them
run
cable
into
the
basement."
built
the
house,"
Mr.
Van
Koevering
family
The
family's
Koevering
said.
will
be
ready,
early
concerns
When
challenged
about
the
having
stocked
include
sanity
of
his
preparations,
Mr.
up
on
preparing
for
Van
Koevering
was
unflappable.
bandages,
locusts
and
"Say
what
you
want
about
the
DVDs,
vodka,
drought.
Mayans,"
Mr.
Van
Koevering
peanut
M&Ms,
"We've
got
said.
"When
it
comes
to
nose-­‐
and
swizzle
some
bee
piercing,
human
sacrifice
and
the
sticks
to
tide
spray,
but
I'm
end
of
civilization,
they
knew
themselves
over
not
sure
that
their
$&%#."
during
the
years
will
even
make
In
the
meantime,
the
entire
of
tribulation.
a
dent
in
a
cloud
Van
Koevering
family
has
been
"Looks
to
be
a
very
low-­‐key
time
of
swarming
grasshoppers,"
Mrs.
busily
setting
their
affairs
in
(once
the
volcanoes
and
earthquakes
Van
Koevering
said.
order.
are
over
anyway),"
Mr.
Van
Koevering
Mr.
Van
Koevering
has
also
been
"I
can't
clean
enough,"
said
recently
commented
while
laying
up
thinking
about
digging
a
moat
and
Mrs.
Van
Koevering.
"If
the
end
stores
of
car
magazines
and
installing
a
fully-­‐stocked
shelter
is
coming,
the
beds
will
be
made
paperbacks.
"We
plan
to
catch
up
on
under
the
garage.
and
everyone
will
be
wearing
our
reading,
talk
about
old
times,
and
"We
just
weren't
up
on
our
fresh
underwear."

2. The Holiday Times 2009
2009: An Amazing Race
From
TV
show
auditions
to
birthday
parties,
the
Van
Koeverings
lived
fast
this
year
Every
Sunday
night
for
the
past
several
years,
the
Van
Koevering
family
has
taken
an
hour
to
watch
their
favorite
TV
show:
The
Amazing
Race.
This
year,
however,
the
family
did
more
than
just
watch.
In
August,
Stephanie
Van
Koevering
and
her
School's
In
best
friend,
Penny
Davis,
went
to
an
open
Don
Van
Koevering,
now
4,
was
casting
call
for
the
show.
Their
hope
was
to
granted
admission
to
the
local
demonstrate
that
mini-­‐van
moms
with
hand
sanitizer
and
juice
boxes
could
preschool
this
September.
The
youth
compete
effectively
in
a
"Race
Around
The
World!™"
did
well
enough
on
his
entrance
exams
that
school
officials
were
willing
to
"We
have
yet
to
get
a
call
back
from
the
producers,
but
this
is
not
the
first
overlook
his
previous
felony
time
I've
had
to
wait
and
wait
and
indictments.
WAIT
for
someone
to
call,"
Mrs.
Van
The
boy
appears
to
be
succeeding
in
Koevering
said.
"That's
how
I
spent
school
so
far,
though
his
parents
are
as
most
of
high
school."
yet
unwilling
to
grant
his
repeated
requests
for
a
driving
permit.
Lacking
the
ability
to
actually
participate
in
the
show,
Mrs.
Van
Area
Craftsman
Creates
Koevering
decided
to
stage
an
High-­‐Quality
Items
independent
version
of
The
Amazing
Race
for
her
son
Alex's
Alex
Van
Koevering,
10,
honed
his
birthday
party
in
October.
Some
carpentry
and
modeling
skills
during
two
dozen
children
were
welcomed
and
divided
into
teams,
all
of
which
had
2010.
In
addition
to
the
bootjack
depicted
below,
the
talented
artisan
to
complete
various
tasks
and
roadblocks.
produced
several
car
and
plane
models,
a
marshmallow
gun,
and
other
"My
favorite
tasks
were
translating
Morse
Code
and
learning
to
dance
a
wood
and
metal
projects.
waltz,"
Alex
said.
"But
I
didn't
like
stuffing
a
suitcase
full
of
more
things
than
it
could
hold
or
trying
to
identify
baby
foods
by
taste."
This
Webelos-­‐inspired
work
will
be
priced
according
to
customer
demand.
Mr.
Van
Koevering
spent
the
entire
party
worrying
about
the
safety
of
his
home
and
its
occupants.
"We
are
never
doing
that
again,"
Mr.
Van
Koevering
said.
"It
was
great
and
lots
of
fun,
but
our
house
was
completely
destroyed."
Asked
for
a
response,
Alex
said,
"I
did
not
see
nor
do
I
have
any
specific
knowledge
about
the
mess
in
our
house.
Lay
off,
Dad!"
2

3. The Holiday Times 2009
Family Visits Historical Roots
Van
Koeverings
check
out
Williamsburg,
Gettysburg
and
Washington
DC
In
August
2009,
the
Van
Koevering
family
hauled
their
says
(this
is
kid
code
for,
"Never
have
I
seen
a
more
trailer
to
points
east,
visiting
the
places
where
the
boring,
tedious
and
horrible
place").
nation
was
born
and
tested.
Along
the
way,
they
tested
their
cell
phone
coverage,
credit
card
limit,
and
Alex
perked
up,
however,
at
the
next
leg
of
the
the
towing
ability
of
their
Saab
9-­‐7x.
journey,
which
took
the
family
to
the
US
Naval
Academy
in
Annapolis,
MD.
"The
Academy
was
"The
car
held
up
fine,
and
we
were
really
pleased
with
great,"
Alex
remembers
in
a
rare
display
of
emotion
our
cell
phone
service,"
Mr.
Van
Koevering
said.
"Our
(his
range
of
feeling
is
profound).
credit
card,
however,
left
something
to
be
desired
as
it
did
not
provide
us
with
the
interest-­‐free,
no-­‐need-­‐to-­‐ The
family
took
in
sights
around
Washington
DC
and
pay-­‐it-­‐back
kind
of
money
we
required
for
this
trip.
Gettysburg,
where
the
children
worked
brother-­‐
Actually
we
need
this
kind
of
service
every
day,
now
against-­‐brother
to
prevent
the
entire
family
from
that
I
think
of
it."
having
a
good
time.
"Stop
touching!
That's
mine,"
were
constant
refrains
all
over
the
Pennsylvania
Mrs.
Van
Koevering
particularly
enjoyed
the
family's
countryside.
whirlwind
stop
in
Williamsburg.
She
was
the
only
one.
Eventually
the
family
hopes
to
have
positive
memories
"Williamsburg
was
okay,"
Alex
Van
Koevering
now
of
this
vacation.
3

4. The Holiday Times 2009
Alex
and
Don
Answer
Readers'
Questions
Q:
What
was
the
point
of
the
Civil
War?
ALEX:
The
best
thing
about
2009
was
TV
and
video
games
-­‐Darcy
M,
DeWitt
and
summer
vacation.
DON:
I've
seen
one
Union
and
a
Confederate
on
a
new
fake
Q:
Should
we
send
more
troops
to
Afghanistan?
horse.
From
the
farm.
The
farm
only
had
one
-­‐Barack
O,
Washington
DC
Confederate/Union
horse.
They
had
to
share
it.
I'm
answering
this
question
and
not
Alex
because
I
am
the
ALEX:
I
am
not
a
big
expert
on
that
stuff.
But
I
think
just
smartest.
pull
them
out.
They're
doing
it
already
but
they're
so
darned
slow.
Ut
Sed
Est
Q:
Should
the
state's
FY
2010
budget
be
balanced
with
taxes,
budget
cuts,
or
a
mix
of
both?
DON:
I'm
smarter!
-­‐Jennifer
G,
Lansing
Q:
Should
the
US
government
take
control
of
our
health
ALEX:
Budget
cuts.
Wait
-­‐
what's
budget
cut
mean?
I
want
care
system?
both.
Is
there
a
right
answer?
-­‐Donna
S,
Chicago
Q:
What
was
the
highlight
of
2009?
ALEX:
What
would
that
mean?
Really?
Noooooooo!
-­‐Dick
C,
Redford
DON:
The
government
is
way
up
high
on
top
of
us.
We
DON:
2009?
You
know,
2009
was
a
very
old
place.
Broken
can't
even
get
to
him.
He
lives
in
a
shaped-­‐lamp
planet.
down
buildings,
broken
down
houses,
and
broken
down
Just
like
this
one
only
different.
With
no
stand.
But
shaped
states.
No,
we
don't
live
in
the
year
2009.
We
live
in
the
year
as
a
lamp.
2007.
Oh,
wait.
It's
a
really
new
place
in
2009
and
it
is
great!
We
have
all
these
TV
clickers
and
toys.
AND
our
Christmas
ALEX:
I
want
to
read
this
whole
thing
when
you're
done.
tree
is
up.
I'm
going
to
kiss
your
cheek.
Editor's
Note
This
year's
Holiday
Times
comes
at
a
challenging
time
for
our
family.
Stephanie
has
just
been
diagnosed
with
non-­‐Hodgkins
lymphoma
and
is
getting
ready
to
begin
treatment
in
the
very
near
future.
She
is
very
optimistic
and
eager
to
make
her
way
through
this
process
as
quickly
as
possible,
so
she
can
develop
a
better
holiday
newsletter
next
year.
We
are
deeply
grateful
for
the
thoughts,
prayers,
help
The
younger
Van
Koeverings
and
good
wishes
that
have
come
from
so
many
sample
ye
olde
PB&J
sandwiches
and
cokes
at
the
members
of
our
loyal
readership.
If
you
would
like
to
Kings
Arms
Tavern
in
keep
track
of
Stephanie's
treatment,
check
out
Williamsburg,
VA.
Their
parents
www.caringbridge.org/visit/stephanievankoevering.
drank
rummers
and
tested
their
tolerance
for
200-­‐year-­‐old
fare.
We
love
you
and
wish
you
a
very
merry
Christmas!
The
children
were
surly
until
The Van Koeverings
supplied
with
authentic
muskets
and
colonial
hats.
4