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19 use wise discipline
1. U S E W IS E DIS CIPL INE from Doug Fields
FOR STARTERS
What do you think discipline
TRAINING on the GO
Two visiting students arrived in the presence of a youth pastor friend of
means? mine in the firm grip of an adult volunteer. They were accused of stealing
registration money for a church event they were attending. But before
In what ways have you used the youth pastor could address the situation, someone found the money.
discipline in your ministry? Unfortunately, the visiting students had already learned that at this church
they were guilty until proven innocent. They came to a youth ministry event
at the request of a friend and left feeling unfairly accused and victimized.
IN T HE TRENCHE S What a tragedy. And it was all because an overanxious (and that’s putting it
gracefully) volunteer responded with premature, overanxious discipline.
Jeff is a veteran volunteer who
loves students almost as much All youth ministries require some discipline, yet no one enjoys it. Students
as he loves Jesus. Discipline is don’t enjoy being disciplined, and leaders don’t enjoy handing out disci-
usually not a problem during our pline. (If you do, you probably shouldn’t be working with teenagers.) But
Sunday morning program, but there are times when discipline is necessary.
one weekend some overly talk-
ative students got the best of Jeff. Wise discipline points toward restoration and helps students understand
They were distracting the rest of God’s forgiveness. I want to share five actions that will help you discipline
the group during a key moment; students wisely.
Jeff stood up and insisted that the
disruptive students leave the room. Think before you react. Before you take disciplinary action, think through
Unfortunately, Jeff hadn’t taken the situation. Step back emotionally, take time to understand the scenario,
time to think before he reacted in observe the players involved, and assess possible outcome. Overreacting
anger and found himself in a bat- and quickly reacting often lead to regrettable situations.
tle of wills. Jeff was correct in that
the excessive talking needed to be Make a decision before you get angry. Don’t wait until you’re already
addressed, but his quick actions angry; while you’re still calm, make a decision that will value the student
escalated the problem. and bring honor to God. When anger fuels discipline, there’s usually pain
One student stormed out of the
around the corner.
room in embarrassment, while the Enlist help. Wise discipline often requires enlisting other leaders. Pulling
others stayed where they were. another leader into a discipline situation can help you be sure your motives
Jeff sat back down, but he was
remain pure, keep your emotions under control, and give you shared
very angry and struggling to keep
a healthy perspective. Because Jeff
wisdom that’s greater than just your own. The presence of another leader
had reached the point of anger, he lightens your burden and adds a fresh perspective to the situation.
should have asked another leader Be consistent. Provide students with clear expectations, and then have the
for help with the situation. I know
courage to stick to those expectations. Knowing what’s expected on both
Jeff well enough to know his heart
was right; however, his reaction
sides creates a safe atmosphere; there are no surprises. When a student
was wrong. If Jeff had been his nor- messes up and you respond with discipline, the student is not caught off
mal, consistent self, he would have guard, especially when discipline is done in a loving, gentle way.
politely asked them to be quiet or
Move students toward the goal of becoming like Christ. The ultimate
guided them outside to talk. If the
noise was not out of control, he
goal of discipline is to help students become more like Christ. Another
could have pulled them aside after term for that is discipleship; discipline and discipleship go hand in hand
the service to talk with them about As a leader, keep in mind that discipleship is the end goal. When discipline
being respectful. is done correctly, confidently, and in a Christ-like way, you’ll help students
How have your reactions to stu-
become devoted disciples of Jesus.
dents been like or unlike Jeff’s? Discipline should, at its very foundation, be built on love. So base your
discipline on concern for students and never on anger. Love, compassion,
gentleness, and selflessness are the building materials of discipline.
YOUTH LEADER TRAINING ON THE GO
