Temperament Monologues

The Temperament Monologues
A Series of Essays and Letters

By Hal Warfield © 2007

Hal Warfield is a coach, educator, speaker and writer with 30 years work experience
in Human Resources, Training, higher education, and technical sales and marketing.

As a speaker and educator, Hal has taught at institutions of higher learning including
the University of Tennessee Center for the Health Sciences and Southeast
Tennessee Community College. As a consultant, he has worked for companies such
as International Paper and Holiday Inns to deliver personal and professional
development training.

He has also led seminars and workshops for national and international professional
groups on subjects ranging from Career Development to Temperament & Personality.

Hal is a published author in the personal development field and has published his
work in an ongoing weblog format at www.halwarfield.com.

He answers personal development email questions from around the world at his
Myers-Briggs related web site www.introvert.cc.

Hal is also the Vice President of Business Development at Market Strategy
(www.marketstrategy.cc); companies devoted to helping companies increase sales
through technology.

The Temperament Monologues © 2007

Temperament and Personality
Who you are, how you got that way, and how to live
with others who aren't like you.
© 2002 – 2003 Hal Warfield
Temperament
Your temperament is like an artist's canvas. It is your basic inherited style. It is the fabric underlying
who you are. Generally speaking, two of the basic temperament types are outgoing or extroverted
and two are more inward directed or introverted. This varies based on temperament blend and our
individual personality development.

Personality
Your personality is like the painting on the canvas. It is what you have built on top of your
temperament. Two people with like temperament may be very different in actual behavior. Factors
that affect personality include socialization, education, birth order, siblings or lack of siblings, and
interpersonal pressures which will cause us to adapt and change our behaviors.

Why Study Temperament?
Understanding temperament - your own and others - makes you much better equipped to handle
interpersonal relationships successfully. Studying your own temperament helps you understand your
strength's and weaknesses and why you do some of the things you do. Understanding another's
temperament can help you adapt your communication to theirs or at the least understand why you
have problems with them.

The Four "Types"
Why four? Why not forty? There are more than four kinds of people, aren't there? Of course, but
everyone from the ancients to modern psychologists find that people can be grouped into four basic
types of personality. These are:

Sanguine - Influencing of others, SP - Artisan
The Sanguine is receptive by nature and outgoing. He is usually called a 'super-extrovert'. This
temperament is usually thought of as a "natural salesman" but they also tend to enter professions
that are outgoing such as acting.

He "leads into a room with his mouth" and is never at a loss for words. His outgoing nature makes
him the envy of more timid temperament types. He is most comfortable around people and does not
like being alone. He is often known as a "toucher"; reaching out and touching the arm or shoulder of
the person he is talking with. This can make more introverted temperaments nervous and
uncomfortable.

His energy can make him seem more confident than he actually is and his cheery disposition often
cause others to excuse his weaknesses by saying, "That's just how he is". The Sanguine is mostly a
happy person whom others are glad to have around.

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The weakness of the Sanguine include a lack of discipline which can be expressed in many ways -
including a generally "messy" lifestyle or overeating. The Sanguine is the most emotional of the
temperaments and can burst into tears or a rage without warning. These "bursts" are usually over
as fast as they occur but this lack of emotional consistency can affect other areas of his life. He
may be "morally flexible" and may take advantage of others via his good nature. A Sanguine's
tremendous personal talents can be made or broken by his lack of self-discipline.

Choleric-Decisive, NT - Rational
The choleric is the most forceful and active of the four types. He is strong-willed and independent
and opinionated. The Choleric thrives on activity. He is the most practical and makes sound, quick
decisions. He is not afraid of obstacles and tends to drive right through or over problems. He is
probably the strongest natural leader of the four types. He has the most problem with anger and
does not display compassion easily. He is quick to recognize opportunities and quick to capitalize
on them - though details irritate him and, unless he learns to delegate, he will often gloss over
details. His strong will and determination may drive him to succeed where more gifted people
give up.

The Choleric is a developer and may be seen in construction supervision or coaching or law
enforcement. Most entrepreneurs are choleric. Because of their impatience they often end up
doing everything themselves. A choleric is extremely goal/task oriented in leading others. His
biggest weakness as a leader is a tendency to run right over people if he feels they are in his way.
He assumes that approval and encouragement will lead others to slack off and he probably finds
criticism and faultfinding more useful for his purposes. Through his natural determination he may
succeed where others may give up.

A Choleric's weaknesses include anger and hostility. A Choleric is the most likely to have an active
temper; he is a door slammer and horn blower and he can carry a grudge for a long time. This
includes a cutting and sarcastic tongue and the Choleric will rarely hesitate to tell someone off. The
Choleric is the least likely to show affection or any public show of emotion. His emotions are the
least developed of all the temperaments. Additionally a Choleric can be inconsiderate, opinionated
and crafty in getting their own way.

Melancholy - Conscientious, SJ - Guardian
The Melancholy is an introverted temperament type. His natural style is analytical and perfectionist.
He is the most moody of types ranging from highly "up" to gloomy and depressed. During his low
periods he can be very antagonistic and does not make friends easily. He is the most dependable
of the temperaments due to his perfectionist tendencies. His analytical ability allows him to
accurately diagnose obstacles and problems which often keep him from making changes - he
prefers the status quo and may seem overly pessimistic.

He may choose a difficult life vocation involving personal sacrifice. Many Melancholies become
doctors or scientists or artists. Their interpersonal style can be critical and negative. He tends to
be more indecisive than other types. They have difficulty giving praise and approval because they
cannot bring themselves to say something that is not 100% true. They also are usually dissatisfied
with themselves being highly self-critical.

Other weaknesses include being "thin skinned" or touchy and easily offended. He often feels
persecuted and may seek revenge for real or imagined insults. He tends to be "all or nothing" in his
evaluation of things; everything must be black or white and no shades of gray. He is least likely to
consider mitigating circumstances when evaluating a person or situation. No temperament is more
likely to be legalistic and rigid. He can be intolerant and impatient with those who do not see things
his way.



Phlegmatic- Steady, NF - Idealist
The Phlegmatic is best characterized by the words "easy going". He is the calm and steady person
who is not easily disturbed. He is the easiest temperament type to get along with. Life or him is
happy, unexcited and calm. Underneath the calm exterior, the Phlegmatic is the most timid
temperament type. He often uses humor to make his points. The Phlegmatic is more an observer
and does not involve himself in the activities of others.

Phlegmatics make excellent teachers, counselors and administrators. They are very dependable and
organized and, while they never volunteer, they make good group leaders.

The weakness of a Phlegmatic include lack of motivation or even laziness; they appear to lack drive
and ambition. A Phlegmatic needs to realize that he is not internally motivated and take up activities
that force him into action. The Phlegmatic is self-protective and may be selfish. He is often very
stubborn, though it is hidden beneath his mild-mannered style. He is also the most fearful of
temperaments.

After defining each temperament in "black and white" we must realize that no one is completely one
temperament type. Each of us is a blend of usually two and occasionally three types. One
temperament type is dominant and one is secondary. And don't forget that training, lifestyle,
upbringing and other circumstances may have forced an individual to function "off style". The
saddest people I have seen are those who have "put on" a style that is not theirs naturally for so long
that it has become a habitual way of life

The Sixteen "Combinations"
SanChol (ID)
This is the strongest extrovert of all the blends because both primary types are extroverted. They are
people-oriented and enthusiastic but with the resolutions of the choleric tempering the lack of
organization of the Sanguine. He is almost always a sports enthusiast and is ideal in sales. He can
talk too much and can be obnoxious if threatened. The forgetfulness of the Sanguine and the caustic
nature of the Choleric may make them hurtful without realizing it.

SanMel (IC)
These are highly emotional people whose moods can fluctuate from highs to lows and back again
quickly. The Sanguine outgoing nature often allows the melancholy's critical nature "out" too easily.
It is very easy for a Sanmel to "get down" on themselves and, to realize their potential, it is best if
they work with others.

SanPhleg (IS)
The overpowering outgoing nature of the Sanguine is tempered by the gracious Phlegmatic. These
are extremely happy and carefree individuals who live to help people. They would not purposely hurt
anyone but they must fight a lack of workplace motivation - they would rather visit than work.

CholSan (DI)
The second strongest extrovert is an active and purposeful individual. He is almost fearless and has
high levels of energy. Whatever his profession, his brain is always active and engaged. His
weaknesses combine the quick anger of the Sanguine with the resentment of the Choleric. He gets
and gives ulcers. He may leave people, including spouse and children, shell-shocked and resentful
of their angry outbursts.



CholMel (DC)
The Choleric/Melancholy is very industrious and capable. He is both industrious and detailed. He
combines verbal aggressiveness with sharp attention to detail. He is very competitive and forceful. He
can be autocratic and opinionated with work habits that keep after details until the job is completely
finished. He finds interpersonal relationships difficult due to the hard-to-please nature of the Choleric
and the perfectionism nature of the Melancholy.

CholPhleg (DS)
This is the most subdued of the outgoing temperaments. He is extremely capable in the long run
though he may not impress you that way at first. He is organized and a good planner. He often gets
more accomplished than other temperaments because he always thinks in terms of enlisting others to
help him. His weaknesses include a tendency to quietly harbor bitterness rather than letting it out like
a Cholmeg might. Acknowledging weaknesses is difficult for him and he tends to worry about his
performance in life activities.

MelSan (CI)
The detailed and organized Melancholy is tempered by the outgoing and warm Sanguine. He makes
an excellent teacher as his organized side is well versed in the facts and his Sanguine side makes him
enjoyable to attend to. If he goes into sales it will be sales that call for exacting detail and the
presentation of many facts. He is an emotional person - from being moved to tears to being critical
and hard on others. Both temperaments can be fearful which may make this an insecure person with
a poor self-image.

MelChol (CD)
This type is both a perfectionist and a driver which may lead him into the law or medicine. They mix
decisiveness and determination. Because of the critical nature of the Melancholy they may be very
difficult to please. If they become negative about someone or something it will have a tendency to stay
with them for a long time. Their combination can lead them to "nit-pick" others and be revengeful to
those they have a grudge against.

MelPhleg (CS)
These are often teachers and scholars. They are not as prone to hostility as other Melancholy blends
and combine analysis with organization. They make excellent accountants and bookkeepers.
Unfortunately he can become easily discouraged and may be susceptible to fear and anxiety. They
may become uncooperative because of stubborn, rigid tendencies.

PhlegSan (SI)
This is the easiest to get along with being congenial, happy, and people-oriented. They make
excellent administrators and other jobs that involve getting along with people. He may lack motivation
and discipline and may fall short of his true capabilities. He may "putter around" for years without
making progress.

PhlegChol (SD)
This is the most active of the Introverts but he'll never be a ball of fire. He can be an excellent
counselor because he is an active listener. He is practical and helpful and patient. He may lack
motivation and may become stubborn if threatened. He may also have a tendency toward being
sedentary and passive. He needs to be around other people as he is externally motivated.



PhlegMel (SC)
This type is gracious and quiet, does the proper thing and is dependable. He wobbles between
patience and criticism and may tend toward negativism. They can be afraid of overextending
themselves so may avoid involvement in a group.

Other Factors That Shape Personality
Just as no one is only one temperament or an exact blend of two types, there are a multitude of other
factors that affect a person's behavior. The percentage of blend may be any combination of
percentages making them more one type than another.

A Choleric raised in the northeast US may exhibit different behavior than one raised in the deep south
due to cultural differences.

Childhood experiences and parenting will cause differences. A Phlegmatic father may behave
differently in raising a child than a Melancholy one thereby causing the child to value different
behaviors.

A person's level of education and training may affect behavior as will a person's level of physical
health. A healthy PhlegChol may seem more outgoing and aggressive than a Choleric with health
problems.

In certain individuals there may be parts of three temperament types blended together. While rare, it
does happen and makes it more difficult for the person to get a clear picture of their type.

How To Use Temperament To Your Advantage
Know Yourself
Knowing your temperament blend can be an "eye-opening" experience. It may help explain why you
do certain things and why you don't get along with certain others. Use your knowledge of
temperament to guide you in choosing vocations, affiliations, and friendships.

Get Along With Others
Learning how to spot the temperament of others is invaluable. It takes practice but once you can
spot a Choleric you know not to try and be "chatty" with them. If you spot a Phlegmatic you may
understand why they seem quiet and reserved.

Work Life
This is a key area of understanding temperament. There are so many people in life who are in jobs
that do not match their temperament. A Sangphlet may not make a good surgeon. A CholMel
probably wouldn't be happy teaching kindergartners. Tests of temperament often include suggestions
concerning career choices.

Relationships
Another key area. Cholerics get impatient with Sanguines. Melancholies think that Phlegmatics "just
don't care" about details. And in marriage we more often than not see opposite temperaments
together. This can help each individual grow and develop or it can cause anger, resentment and
separation. Understanding your temperament and your child's can affect parenting style. A
Melancholy child needs structure, organization and reassurance. A Choleric child needs a big
backyard and a large dog to take care of. A Phlegmatic mother needs to be firm with a Sanguine child.



Frequently Asked Questions
Can you change your personality?
You cannot change your basic temperament styles but you can influence your behaviors and thereby your
personality. The biggest mistake I've seen is someone who has "put on" behaviors that were not theirs'
naturally until it has become habitual. It is almost always obvious and often painful. An example is a
Phlegmatic who felt is necessary to put on an outgoing Sanguine style for so many years that it has
become a habit; however it is clear that this is not their natural way of being.

Can you change someone else's personality?
If you can't change you own, it is clear that you can't change someone else's but that won't stop most of
us from trying. This is a special problem in marriage and child raising if the spouse or parent thinks the
other person can be "improved" on. In Dickens' David Copperfield, Mr. Murdstone and his sister fatally try
to impress their Choleric nature on Sanguine Mrs. Copperfield. Husbands and wives who think they will
change their spouse may affect some behavior changes and think they have "changed" them. Changes
are only fully implemented when they come from within the person and then they will still be in line with
their basic temperament style.

Why do people so often marry opposite temperament?
The first person to find out the underlying answer to this one will retire wealthy. Seriously, what attracts
us to another person? Often it is the strengths we see in them that we do not have temperamentally. A
Choleric woman may appreciate the easygoing nature of the Phlegmatic. A disorganized Sanguine
appreciates the orderly manner of a Melancholy. Unfortunately, over time, we realize that our natural
strengths are usually their natural weaknesses which can cause friction or even a feeling of betrayal; that
is, "if he really loved me, he wouldn't be so disorganized, or angry, or rigid".

Why do different temperament types irritate us?
Again, it's usually a matter of strengths and weaknesses. A straightforward Choleric is irritated by a highly
verbal Sanguine. A highly organized Melancholy finds a Phlegmatic's laid back nature to go "against their
grain". The Phlegmatic is the most likely to ignore these irritations. The Choleric is the most likely to bring
them out in the open.

Is one temperament "better" than another?
Each of us is who we are - we were made that way based on inherited temperament characteristics. Each
temperament type at some time thinks another type is "better" but that feeling is usually related to
something they admire in that person that they cannot do easily. So a quiet Phlegmatic envies the
Sanguine’s easy outgoing manner and the disorganized Sanguine may envy the Melancholy's natural
organization. Each type is better at some things and worse at others. The trick is to match the personality
to the situation - which very rarely happens in normal life.

How does knowing my temperament help me?
"Why do I do the things I do?" is a question many of us have asked ourselves at one time or another.
Temperament study gives us insight into some of those "whys". A Choleric with a quick temper, the
talkative Sanguine, or the organized Melancholy now has an underlying reason for behavior. The trick is
not to let temperament become an excuse for negative behavior.

What jobs are best for each temperament type?
Again there are many other factors to consider but in general Cholerics make good leaders (managers or
executives) if they can control their tendency to criticize and get angry. Sanguines make good teachers
if they can keep themselves organized. Phlegmatics make good counselors or pastors; anywhere where
non-critical listening and relating can be helpful.



Melancholies are good anywhere organization is important including the law and medical professions.
Cholerics don't like jobs where easygoing relating to others is important. Phlegmatics don't care for jobs
where they must be outgoing and talkative. Melancholies detest jobs where they have little control over
their circumstances and Sanguines don't like jobs where they must work alone for periods of time.

Help! I'm not just a blend of two types - I can see traits of three!
This is where temperament tests can be useful as well as talking with someone familiar with temperament
theory. If we inherit temperament then it's certainly possible to inherit a blend of three temperament types.

What are quick "cues" that I can use to "read" a person's temperament?
Again, the Phlegmatic will be calm, quiet and easygoing. The Melancholy will be precise, analytical and
critical in conversation. A Sanguine will always be the most verbal and will often be a "toucher". The
Choleric will be straightforward, even abrupt and most easily angered.

I hate my job! Is that a temperament thing?
If you dislike the job because it doesn't "fit" your type, then yes it may be temperament related. List those
things you dislike about the job (i.e.. relationships, tasks, etc., not "it doesn't pay enough".) and compare
them to your temperamental strengths and weaknesses. This should give you insight into whether or not
your job dislike is temperamental.

I love my husband (wife, child) but I can't stand certain traits.
How can I change them?
Again, you cannot change a person's temperament type any more than you can change their eye color.
Real change comes when a person sees the need to change and not before. Externally forced change is
never real and can cause unhappiness and friction. Encourage the other's natural strengths and
discourage their natural weaknesses. Realize that you may cause the same feelings in others that do not
have your temperament.

How do the different temperament systems match up?
Am I a Choleric, a "D", or an "SJ"?
There are many different "systems" of temperament classification. There are even those that compare a
temperament to different animals. The three most common systems include the one used here -
Choleric, Sanguine, Melancholy and Phlegmatic, as well as the Myers-Briggs Temperament Indicator
which uses sixteen combinations of traits and includes the Guardian, Artisan, Rational, and idealist. The
DiSC system is similar to the first system where the Decisive is the Choleric, the influencer is the
Sanguine, the Steady is the Phlegmatic and the Conscientious is the Melancholy.

Is my temperament my personality? Or the other way round? What's the difference?
Temperament is the canvas, personality is the painting. The temperament is the foundation, personality
is the building. Taking your basic temperament, you add life experience, culture, education, and
upbringing to form your personality.

How do the temperaments relate to a person's anger and fear?
Everyone experiences fear and anger. The Phlegmatic experiences the most fear and the Choleric the
most anger. The Melancholy fears being out of control of situations and the Sanguine has quick, hot
flashes of anger that pass as quickly as they start.

Do men and women's temperaments differ substantially?
Temperament is temperament. There are Choleric men and Choleric women. There are Sanguine
women and Sanguine men. Gender is only one of many environmental factors that influence behavior.
Others include upbringing, culture, education, etc.



If I can't change my temperament, then what good is it to know about it?
Understanding temperament has many benefits such as understanding others better or being able to
communicate more easily with temperament types that are different from yours. But while you cannot
change your temperament type, all of us can change our behaviors. Knowing your temperamental
weaknesses can help you reduce their impact on your life. Knowing your temperamental strengths can
help you release them more into your everyday life. Feed your strengths and starve your weaknesses.
Understand how your temperament impacts other types of individuals and adapt accordingly.



Choleric - Focused Driver
This is part of an overall series on our natural Temperament. Temperament differs from Personality
in that Temperament inborn and Personality grows out of upbringing, culture, family, and other
external factors. Personality equals Temperament plus Life Experience.

In the study of Temperament there are many approaches with many names. The easiest approach to
understand and use divides individuals into one of four basic types – Phlegmatic, Choleric, Sanguine,
and Melancholy. These names came from the Greeks who thought that behavior was influenced by
an abundance of bodily fluid. Studies today confirm that an individual can be classified by
Temperament type as evidenced by the use of Temperament tests in the areas of employment, group
team building, and organizational development.

Today the four Temperament types have been re-named many times – in this series I will try to provide
other naming systems for each type including the DiSC model. Understanding Temperament provides
many insights into our own behavior and the behaviors of others – spouses, children, bosses, co-
workers, etc. Many have asked, “Why do I react the way I do? Why do I have this particular
weakness or fear”? Temperament is one means of answering some of these questions.

Further study has shown that most people are a blend of two of the four Temperament types. One
Temperament type is predominating; the other is secondary. Each article in this series will focus on
one primary Temperament type and its combinations.

The Choleric is the strongest of the extroverted Temperaments. The Choleric Temperament is
sometimes referred to as a “Type A” personality; a hard driving individual known for accomplishing
goals. This is both good and bad; good in that the Choleric is a person of accomplishment; they ‘get
things done’. Bad, in that the Choleric does not care how they accomplish those goals.

The most insensitive of the Temperaments, a Choleric cares little for the feelings of others. They
simply don’t play into the equation.

In the DiSC model, the Choleric is the “D” for Driver or Difficult.

Cholerics have the most trouble with anger, intolerance, and impatience. Those of other
Temperaments are simply tools to be used or problems to be avoided. The Choleric doesn’t stand on
ceremony, they want facts instead of emotions, and if you get your feelings hurt, it’s your problem, not
theirs.

The Choleric may make an impressive leader – the most obvious example is General George Patton
of World War II fame. Watching the character portrayed by George C. Scott you find a man who is
driven and drives everyone around him towards excellence.



A Choleric in business will often rise rapidly in managerial rank but may leave damaged souls in his
wake. And in the area of home and family, a Choleric can damage spouses and children by insisting
on ‘my way or the highway’. This is not to say that Cholerics are any better or worse than any other
Temperament. They simply have stronger strengths and weaknesses than some of the other types.

Because the Choleric is such a driver, they do not work well in groups. I have often seen a Choleric
group member take a project or task and, in effect, say “I’ll get this done and have it for ‘us’ in the
morning” and proceed to do the work himself.

A Choleric may not have many friends; having scared or injured most of the people they know. They
need friends because a strong Choleric may come to dislike even them self over time.

Cholerics have the most difficulty with the warm, outgoing Sanguines and would probably do best
with easygoing Phlegmatics as friends. In a spouse or partner, a Choleric most needs someone with
a great deal of personal strength. Another Choleric would probably be best suited as a spouse with
the Phlegmatic coming in a distant second.

Temperament Type Combinations
As stated earlier, each of us is a combination of two temperament types – one is dominant, the other
is secondary. The following section gives details concerning each combination.

Choleric Phlegmatic – CholPhleg - High D High S in DiSC parlance
A Choleric Phlegmatic is a person who is known for steadily achieving goals or finishing plans; but in a
quiet, unobtrusive sort of way. The most easygoing of the Choleric types, the Phlegmatic secondary
softens the sharp Choleric primary just enough to make them easier to get along with. As with all
Cholerics, a Choleric Phlegmatic doesn’t really care how they achieve a goal, even if it means hurting
other’s feelings. But in this case, the Choleric Phlegmatic won’t actively seek to antagonize others (as we
will see with the Choleric Melancholy). As long as you understand that this is still mainly a Choleric, it is
much easier to get along with this blend. Because the Phlegmatic is secondary, the Choleric Phlegmatic
is much less likely to have strong angry outbursts. They often show their Choleric ‘edge’ through less-
than-funny pranks (i.e. the stinky cheese in the desk drawer, etc).

Choleric Sanguine – CholSan – High D High i in DiSC parlance
The Choleric Sanguine can be strongly persuasive. Having the driven nature of the Choleric, the
Sanguine secondary type can be ‘used’ to persuade others by means of their outgoing nature. The
weakness of the Choleric is a tendency towards anger; one weakness of the Sanguine is brief but intense
outbursts of strong feeling. A Sanguine doesn’t hold on to these feelings for long; once over, they return
to their normal cheery selves. In a Choleric Sanguine, however, anger can be sustained and loud.
Rather than gradually fading, a Choleric Sanguine may hold a ‘grudge’ for a very long period of time. It
may be stereotypical, but a Choleric Sanguine makes an excellent outside sales person; combining drive
with the ability to charm.

Choleric Melancholy – CholMel – High D High C in DiSC parlance
The Choleric Melancholy is a powerful combination of Temperament characteristics. The driven nature of
the Choleric is augmented by the analytical nature of the Melancholy. A Choleric Melancholy lawyer
would be a formidable combination of ‘in your face’ determination with exacting amounts of facts and
figures to back them up. The Choleric again wants to achieve goals and uses their Melancholy side to
arm themselves via analysis. The downside is that the anger of the Choleric combined with the critical
nature of the Melancholy can cause extremely unhappy arguments and confrontations, which the Choleric
will most likely ‘win’ and ‘lose’ at the same time.



Sanguine - Outgoing
and Disorganized
The Sanguine is the most outgoing and emotional of the four types. Sanguines are talkative and
‘touchy’ people; they love to visit and socialize. Sanguines might be thought of as those that ‘grease’
social interaction.

The Sanguine is obviously an extrovert – they experience life ‘out here’; meaning the world around
them. They do their thinking ‘out here’ as well; if they have problems or issues, they are most likely
to talk them out with a friend or family member. In a pinch, a Sanguine will make a new friend in order
to have someone to talk to. You can spot a Sanguine on an airplane by seeing who is talking with their
seat mate.

Sanguines are very puzzled by introverted Phlegmatics and Melancholies and may try to drag them
into social situations.

The weaknesses of the Sanguine are a total lack of organizing instincts; Sanguines tend to be messy.
While they don’t hold a grudge, as a Choleric will, a Sanguine will have brief, strong emotional
‘outbursts’. In other words, a Sanguine will get very angry for a very short time and then be over it as
quickly as it came up. This anger can be quite unexpected and surprising and, for other temperaments,
puzzling that it vanishes as quickly as it appears.

Sanguines definitely need friends and partners with the ability to overlook disorganization or to help
promote organization because the Sanguine will always struggle with this weakness.

As stated earlier, each of us is a combination of two temperament types – one is dominant, the other is
secondary. The following section gives details concerning each combination.

Sanguine Choleric – SanChol – High i High D in DiSC parlance
The Sanguine Choleric is s study in contrasts. The most extroverted of the extroverts; the Sanguine
Choleric combines a love of social interaction with a goal oriented approach. This blend makes an
excellent sales person – they are not afraid of talking with people, but they always remember that they
are trying to sell something. Their charm combined with their outcome focus gives them a great deal
of drive.

But using the metaphor of a salesperson, this individual will be the one accomplishing great sales
goals but never file their expense reports or sales forecasts. Do not expect the Sanguine Choleric to
cross their “T’s” and dot their “I’s”; they are too busy accomplishing great things.

The weakness of the Choleric – a lack of sensitivity to others and a tendency to hold a grudge –
combined with the brief, sharp emotional outbursts of the Sanguine, make this blend a formidable
emotional adversary. A Sanguine Choleric made angry will probably tend to hold that against you for
quite a while; even though they may seem fine on the outside. And their initial “shot” of anger may
leave you reeling and wondering what you did to deserve it.



Sanguine Phlegmatic – SanPhleg – Hi i High S in DiSC parlance
The Sanguine Phlegmatic is friendly and calm at the same time. Not as outgoing as most
Sanguines, the Sanguine Phlegmatic is the person voted ‘most friendly’ in yearbooks. They like
to be around people and don’t have the need to be the ‘life of the party’, as some Sanguines do.
This blend makes a great and empathic listener; they generate an immediate trust that people
will open up to.

Unfortunately, the lack of organization of the Sanguine coupled with the tendency towards
laziness in the Phlegmatic can combine into an awesome “I don’t care” attitude concerning work
organization, home cleanliness, and the inability to follow through with important promises. This
blend may not have balanced their checkbook for months (years?) and may often have to react
quickly to late notices.

Sanguine Melancholy – SanMel – High I High C in DiSC parlance
The Sanguine Melancholy type is a person whose moods can fluctuate from highs to lows and
back again quickly. The Sanguine outgoing nature often allows the Melancholy's critical nature
"out" too easily. It is very easy for a Sanguine Melancholy to "get down" on themselves and, if
they are to realize their potential, it is best if they work with others.

The warmth of the Sanguine makes this person very sociable and the focus on detail of the
Melancholy makes them excellent organizers. They remember every birthday and anniversary
and have a strong inclination to attend each and every one of these special events.

The critical nature of the Melancholy combined with the verbal nature of the Sanguine means that
this person will have no qualms about telling you exactly what they think about you or anyone else.

There is an interesting conflict in this blend - the weakness of the Sanguine is disorganization and
the strength of the Melancholy is organization. This means that the Sanguine Melancholy will
always feel that they should be cleaning or organizing but the Sanguine won't follow through.

Another weakness of the Sanguine is quick flashes of emotion - combine this with the critical
nature of the Melancholy and you can get a "hot flash" of angry criticism with very little warning.

This temperament blend is the most likely to remember every negative detail of a situation for the
longest time. The Sanguine Melancholy most needs to cultivate an attitude of gentleness and
kindness to soften their sharp tongue.



Phlegmatic - Quiet But Anxious
In the DiSC model, the Phlegmatic is the “S” for Steady or Structure.

Phlegmatics appear to the world as calm, easygoing people. As friends they are fiercely loyal
though they do not usually have a large number of friends. It takes time to get to know a Phlegmatic
because they are not naturally outgoing. Phlegmatics make great team members because they are
cooperative and do not insist on their own way. They tend to prefer repetitive, structured work,
which also makes them excellent assistants or committee members.

The Phlegmatic has two chief weaknesses – first, they have to fight a tendency towards laziness.
It is very easy for a Phlegmatic to “drift” when faced with unstructured time. The second weakness
shared by Phlegmatics is a naturally fearful streak. While apparently calm most of the time, the
Phlegmatic’s inside world is awash with anxiety and fear. These fears may be completely
unfounded but still the Phlegmatic will find a way to worry.

With all this inner ‘stuff’ going on, the Phlegmatic is still ‘hard to read’ and may be thought of as shy,
snobbish, or arrogant – when, for the most part, none of these is true. Most extroverts have a
great deal of trouble understanding introverts, but have an easier time accepting Phlegmatics than
they do the more critical Melancholy Temperament.

Phlegmatic Choleric – PhlegChol – High S High D in DiSC parlance
While still laid back, a Phlegmatic Choleric is the most driven of the Phlegmatics. A Phlegmatic
Choleric wants to accomplish what they have set their minds to, however, being Phlegmatic they
don’t make a splash about it. A Phlegmatic Choleric with a goal will simply go ahead and do what
needs to be done – without fanfare or telling anyone.

Since the Choleric has problems with anger, this is often reflected in the Phlegmatic Choleric as
irritability or frustration. Since the Phlegmatic is “hard to read”, there may not be an obvious reason
for this reaction. For example, traffic backups can irritate a Phlegmatic Choleric; but little warning
about their irritation is visible until they comment.

These individuals can make excellent team leaders – they are the only Phlegmatic type that may
rise to leadership. Because their Choleric secondary type is a Driver and their primary Phlegmatic
is easygoing, these can combine to make a leader who can handle a variety of personalities. The
Phlegmatic Choleric needs to have a partner or spouse who understands – and more importantly –
accepts their quiet ways. Another Phlegmatic may be best suited while a Choleric or Melancholy
will be a less likely match.

Phlegmatic Sanguine – PhlegSan – High S High I in DiSC parlance
The Phlegmatic Sanguine will be the most outgoing of the Phlegmatics. But as so often happens,
the juxtaposition of these two opposite types often causes internal and external conflict. The
Phlegmatic is quiet, the Sanguine is outgoing – a Phlegmatic Sanguine may find themselves
internally conflicted; going from introvert to extrovert in certain conditions.


The Phlegmatic fights laziness, the Sanguine is naturally disorganized – a Phlegmatic Sanguine
will have the most difficulty staying organized, focused, and on-track. They will have the most
difficulty with goal setting and accomplishment. If they start painting a room, it won’t get finished. If
they start a blog, it won’t have many entries.

Phlegmatic Sanguines make good friends; they are acceptant and warm – but don’t expect them to
be helpful in keeping you on your diet or going after that promotion. A Phlegmatic Sanguine needs
a partner or spouse with a tolerance for their natural lack of organization and focus. A Sanguine
Choleric with their warm but firm nature might be the best choice.

Phlegmatic Melancholy – PhlegMel – High S High C in DiSC parlance
The Phlegmatic Melancholy is a study in contrasts; usually acceptant of others, the Melancholy
secondary type will cause them to be more critical and analytical. In this case, where a Melancholy
might be blatantly critical of someone, a Phlegmatic Melancholy may “hint” or “snipe” or in some
other way let you know of their displeasure at your behavior. This type is the most organized of the
Phlegmatics due to the Melancholies organized nature. This temperament works well in jobs
requiring organization and an ability to be acceptant.

The Phlegmatic Melancholy make an excellent administrator; combining the ability to look at and
solve problems with an ability to put up with schedules and bureaucracy. They need a partner or
spouse who understands their need to criticize things and people from time to time.

In summary, the Phlegmatic can be identified by a quiet, easygoing, unassuming nature. Don’t
mistake this introversion for arrogance; a Phlegmatic just wants to get along, find structure in life,
and cherish a few key friendships and relationships.



Melancholy - Organized
and Critical
The Melancholy is an introverted Temperament with a drive for organization. Melancholies are
highly analytical and critical of the four types; they simply are unable to approach any person or
situation without analyzing it. The Melancholy is highly valuable in any situation where a detailed
understanding or a problem or plan is needed. It is as natural to them as breathing.

The main weaknesses of the Melancholy are related to their strength; their ability to analyze
quickly becomes criticism. Of all the four types the Melancholy can have the sharpest tongue.
while a Choleric may run roughshod over your feelings, their bulldozing usually isn’t personal.
With a Melancholy, their criticism will always be personal. If they don’t like something about you
they will have no compulsion to try and be tactful or nice.

A Melancholy makes an excellent team member when critical, detailed thinking is needed. But
this tendency in the Melancholy can become a source of irritation if it goes “too far” in the thoughts
and feelings of the rest of the group.

Melancholy Choleric – MelChol – High C High D in DiSC parlance
The Melancholy Choleric is both a perfectionist and a driver, which may lead him into the law or
medicine. They mix decisiveness and determination. Because of the critical nature of the
Melancholy they may be very difficult to please. If they become negative about someone or
something it will have a tendency to stay with them for a long time.

The Melancholy Choleric blend does not make a good leader because both temperament types
tend towards criticism and anger. They find it difficult to say kind words or have patience with
stragglers. They believe they are right in most cases and therefore leave everyone else "in the
wrong".

A somewhat stereotyped image of a Melancholy Choleric is the brilliant but hated surgeon who
has the drive and critical detailed nature to save the hopeless case but alienates and angers
everyone they come in contact with in the process.

The Melancholy Choleric needs people around them of Phlegmatic temperament to put up with
their critical tongue. A Phlegmatic Choleric may have the drive and straightforwardness to show
the Melancholy Choleric when they are wrong - but that will take patience and determination and
a whole lot of “guts”.

This temperament blend needs more than anything to develop and embrace an attitude of patience,
kindness, joy and peace. Without these they often end up withdrawn and unhappy people.



Melancholy Phlegmatic – MelPhleg – Hi C High S in DiSC parlance
The Melancholy Phlegmatic types are often teachers and scholars. They are not as prone to hostility
as other melancholy blends and combine analysis with organization. Unfortunately they can become
easily discouraged and may be susceptible to fear and anxiety. They may become uncooperative
because of stubborn, rigid tendencies.

This type may become lifelong students of one topic or another. Because of their detailed and
organized nature, it seems natural to keep learning more and more about a subject. And the lack of
drive of the Phlegmatic seems to make one subject enough. This suggests that this type might make
a good specialist in any area; such a medical specialist or a graduate studies professor.

People of this type need friends with a Sanguine nature because, left totally to their own devices, the
Melancholy Phlegmatic may fall into isolation and depression. More than anything, this type needs
to develop attitudes of peace and joy to counter their natural pessimism and fear.

Melancholy Sanguine– MelSan – High C High i in DiSC parlance
In the Melancholy Sanguine, the detailed and organized Melancholy is tempered by the outgoing and
warm Sanguine. He makes an excellent teacher as his organized side is well versed in the facts and
his sanguine side makes him enjoyable to attend to. If he goes into sales it will be a type of sales
that calls for exacting detail and the presentation of many facts.

He is an emotional person - from being moved to tears, to being critical and hard on others. Because
the Sanguine is a more verbally extroverted, they will usually be talkative about the details that the
Melancholy finds so fascinating. If you ask as question of a Melancholy Sanguine, you will get a long
and detailed answer with more detail than you could have imagined or even wanted. However, the
brightness of the Sanguine side usually makes them fairly easy to listen to.

The Melancholy Sanguine will be better prepared and organized than a Sanguine would normally be.
They can be excellent presenters and teachers because their detailed knowledge of their subject
matter is tempered by their warm Sanguine secondary. Though more outgoing than the Melancholy
is usually, this person will still be a sharp, detailed critic. They could function well as a movie critic or
the judge of a debate; sharp criticism softened by warmth and humor.

The weakness of the Melancholy is a sharp, critical nature, which is not open to "mitigating
circumstances" (in other words, “no excuses allowed”). Combined with the occasional sharp e
motional outbursts of the Sanguine, the Melancholy Sanguine can deliver sharp pointed verbal barbs
that will often vanish as quickly as they appeared. But be careful of getting on this person's "bad
side" as their verbal inclination will cause them to be quite vocal in their criticism.

Because the primary Melancholy tends to worry and the Sanguine secondary doesn't, this blend will
find itself knowing that it should be concerned about a situation or problem but unable to work up the
"steam" to do anything about it.

This temperament blend needs to develop both a peaceful attitude while exercising self-control over
the flighty Sanguine. This person works well alone but needs interaction with others who accept
their occasional "outbursts". Another Sanguine will usually get along with them, but a Phelgmatic
Sanguine will probably be better able to handle their critical side.



A Simple Paper and Pencil Temperament Test

Everyone wonders why people do the things they do. There are numerous temperament tests
"out there". This one simply gives you a slight hint where you are on the DiSC scale.

Are you naturally outgoing? Do others consider you outgoing? If you are outgoing, are naturally
talkative? If so you are most likely an "I" on the DiSC scale. Which stands for ‘Influence’ -
contacting people, making a favorable impression, verbalizing with articulateness, creating a
motivational environment, generating enthusiasm, entertaining people.

Cross-reference: Outgoing/people-oriented, Sanguine, MB - ExFP

If you are outgoing, are you more interested in getting things done than talking? If so you are
probably a "D" on the DiSC scale. This stands for ‘Dominance’ - getting immediate results, causing
action, accepting challenges, making quick decisions, questioning the status quo, taking authority.

Cross-reference: to other systems: Outgoing/Task-oriented, Choleric, MB - ExTP

If you do not consider yourself naturally outgoing (that is, more quiet or introverted), do you consider
yourself a detailed person? Do others notice that you are careful about order and details? If so
you are most likely a "C" on the DiSC scale. This stands for ‘Cautious’ - following directives and
standards, concentrating on detail, working under controlled circumstances, being diplomatic with
people, checking for accuracy.

Cross-reference: Reserved/task-oriented, Melancholy, MB - xSTJ

If you do not consider yourself naturally outgoing, are you best known for being easy to get along
with, calm and steady? If so you are probably an "S" on the DiSC scale. This stands for
‘Steadiness’ - performing an accepted work pattern, sitting or staying in one place, demonstrating
patience, developing specialized skills, concentrating on the task, showing loyalty.

Cross-reference: Reserved/people-oriented, Phlegmatic, MB - IxFJ

Two Caveats
Temperament is often modified by life experience and circumstances - we call this our personality.
Each of us is a blend of usually TWO of the above types.



The DiSC Temperament System
I cannot take credit for this, nor can I fully give credit to the author. However it is an excellent
comparison of various types of temperament classifications. If you are interested in these tests, the
following will give you a way of cross-referencing your "type".

This seems like an interesting system. From what I've read, it seems particularly accurate and more
"real" than other systems (like MB and Enneagram) which I am skeptical of. One reason for this is
that while I find it very difficult to type me on the MB/Enneagram systems, I immediately recognized
myself in this. I am a strong S with moderate I/C followed by a weak D.

It measures a person's personality in 4 areas:

Dominance
• getting immediate results
• causing action
• accepting challenges
• making quick decisions
• questioning the status quo
• taking authority
• causing trouble
• solving problems

Influence
• contacting people
• making a favorable impression
• verbalizing with articulateness
• creating a motivational environment
• generating enthusiasm
• entertaining people
• desiring to help others
• participating in a group

Steadiness
• performing an accepted work pattern
• sitting or staying in one place
• demonstrating patience
• developing specialized skills
• concentrating on the task
• showing loyalty
• being a good listener
• calming excited people

Cautious
• following directives and standards
• concentrating on detail
• working under controlled circumstances



• being diplomatic with people
• checking for accuracy
• criticizing performance
• critical thinking
• complying with authority

Naturally, you can match this with other personality systems. On one site, it said D's were
Outgoing/Task-oriented, I's were Outgoing/People-oriented, S's were Reserved/People-oriented,
and C's were Reserved/Task-oriented. This sounds an awful lot like Myers-Briggs. Here is my
matching..

DISC type/MB types:

• D = ExTP
• I = ExFP
• S = IxFJ
• C = xSTJ

This is if you look at each letter separately. We are all a mixture of the four letters, so this is why
you can be a MB type, which isn't on that list. A person with high D and C (like in your analysis)
would most likely be an ESTJ, for example.

DISC type/Enneagram type:

• D = 3, 7, 8 (best matches with 8)
• I = 2, 3, 7 (best matches with 7)
• S = 4, 6, 9 (best matches with 9)
• C = 1, 5, 6 (best matches with 1)

One = moderate D, low I, moderate S, very high C
Two = low D, high I, high S, low C
Three = moderate D, high I, low S, moderate C
Four = low D, low I, moderate S, low C
Five = moderate D, very low I, low S, moderate C
Six = low D, high I, high S, high C
Seven = high D (if 7w8), very high I, low S, very low C
Eight = very high D, moderate I, very low S, moderate C
Nine = very low D, moderate I, very high S, moderate C

DISC type/Oldham type:

D = Aggressive, Adventurous, Vigilant
I = Dramatic, Mercurial, Self-Confident
S = Devoted, Leisurely, Sensitive, Self-Sacrificing
C = Conscientious, Solitary, Idiosyncratic


For the most part, the types match well, although Idiosyncratic seems to be the only one who doesn't
match at all (C is the closest I could match it with). D matches best with Aggressive, I with Dramatic,
S with Sensitive, and C with Conscientious.

On a personal note, I can see this perfect relation in me. My top three styles are Sensitive, Leisurely,
and Devoted (all S). I then have Dramatic and self-confident behind those styles (I) which adds flavor
to me. I score a bit less in the C types, and especially the D types.



Letters from Online

Temperament Percentages
I got an email the other day asking about a breakdown of temperaments by percentage of the
population. Here's the letter and my reply:

Hello,

I have known about the 4 temperaments since 1995 and have taken several personality tests
including the very thorough Birkman.

I recently bought a book that said that only 3% of people have Choleric as their primary
temperament, 11% Sanguine, 17% Melancholy, and a whopping 69% Phlegmatic. I am a Choleric
Sanguine which would make me the most rare of the 16 combos.

Are these percentages accurate, in the ball park, or totally off?

Thanks, Matthew

And I replied:
Matthew -

I've never thought about that aspect of temperament; I've always focused on how temperaments
interact in life. However it doesn't seem right to me.

Marti Laney in her book "The Introvert Advantage" says that extroverts make up 75% of all people
and Introverts only 25%.

Cholerics and Sanguines are typically extroverts so the percentages you quote don't seem right -
at least to me.

Also, in my experience, there just isn't that large a percentage of easy-going, laid back people!

Thanks for writing.



Opposite Temperament Types in One Person
The question below relates to the "blend" of temperament types in each of us. What happens when
they are opposites?

I noticed that you said you're a Phlegmatic Choleric, and I was wondering if you've studied that
combination much because those two personalities are conflicting and opposite. I was wondering
what you think how the opposite personality types can be in the same person. Taylor

My reply:
Taylor

Your question is one I’ve often thought about. I do believe that you can have a blend of two
opposite temperament types as I live in one (Phlegmatic Choleric).

Also my wife has two opposites (Sanguine Melancholy). From my experience, understanding this
has to do with the position of each type; by that I mean that in most people one type is dominant
and the other is less so.

For instance, I have a good friend that is choleric phlegmatic. How do we differ since we share the
same two types? I am almost always the most laid back person in the room (Phlegmatic) but when
I get impatient (traffic, slow lines) my choleric driver wants to come out.

In my friend, his choleric primary causes him to be a straight-ahead driver who does it in a non-angry
way; his phlegmatic tempers his choleric.

The upshot is that individuals with opposite temperament types in combination will struggle with
those opposites; which is partly what makes each of us unique.

Thanks again for writing.

Reconciling DiSC and Myers Briggs
I do not believe that these two temperament inventories measure the same things. The following
exchange illustrates what I mean:

Dear Hal,

My name is Bryne. I have taken both the MBTI and the DISC tests. On the DISC test, I tested
as a Mel Phleg; as for the MBTI, i tested as an INFP/INTP(my score for the T/F scale is pretty close).
So, how do I reconcile the results of these two tests? Does INFP correlate well with Mel Phleg or
does INTP correlate Better?

Please advise.

And I answer:
I've always been interested in trying to reconcile the Myers Briggs and the DiSC; in my observation
they are NOT the same way of looking at temperament.



For example; I have a friend who is, like me, an INFP - both of us are rate strong for this type.
However I am a Phlegmatic Choleric (High S, High D) and he is a Phlegmatic Melancholy (High S,
High C).

So while we both tend to be laid back, my friend is much more analytical and critical and I am much
more results-oriented. ("Results-oriented" is a relative term in a Phlegmatic!)

Since you are also an INFP we should share some of the same approaches to life HOWEVER
because you are Melancholy first and Phlegmatic second, you're personality would seem to differ
from my friends' and me in many ways.

I realize this isn't a direct answer but it does indicate to me that the two types of inventory measure
different qualities.

Wish I had more; I guess I should put more effort into this but I'm a Phlegmatic so . . . .

Hal Warfield

Schmoozing for Introverts
A quick link on a favorite topic: How to be an Introvert and Sell for a Living. Introverts of the
world unite!

www.businesspundit.com/50226711/how_to_network_for_introverts.php

Choleric Husband and Melancholy Wife
I write extensively on our natural Temperament; but as a Christian I must make the point that all of
our efforts in the natural cannot overcome the natural weaknesses each temperament type has. Let's
look at a letter from a wife with a Melancholy (detailed, analytical) temperament:

Mr. Warfield,

I am in need of advice and I have searched everywhere to find nothing that fits my situation. The
information I found on several sites that were submitted by you were the first glimmers of hope I
have found in years.

I am veteran/working professional now stay at home mom of three. My husband is a veteran and
now working professional in a highly demanding company. We live in a high stressed area near our
nation's capital.

I am just beginning to understand my husband and my personality types. His a ChlorMelSan
(Choleric Melancholy) and I am a MelChlor (Melancholy Choleric).

We have been married for 12 years and it has been an uphill battle off and on all the way. We are
alike in many ways, but then our differences are so strong; I often wonder what is the real key.

In spite of his cool qualities that can be hurtful at times, I would not change him even if I could
because every thing in him is what makes him unique in God's Kingdom. Lucille



II believe that if I could learn how to effectively communicate with him at all times, according to
God's word, that our relationship would be a blessing to both us and all those around us.

Thank you in advance for your time and advice on this matter.

Sincerely, Lucille

And I reply:
Lucille

I do not know whether I can be of help or not; I will give you my thoughts for what they are worth.

A Choleric Melancholy is one of the most difficult temperament blends to live with. I do not say
this critically; it is simply a fact. A Choleric is hard driving, straight-ahead task-oriented with little
concern for the feelings of those in their line of travel (metaphorically – their line of travel through life).

A Melancholy is detailed and analytical but with a strong critical edge. I have had Choleric
Melancholy types email me saying they didn’t like anyone; even themselves.

In a marriage this is often reflected in the interaction between husband and wife. A Choleric
Melancholy will initially pursue his mate-to-be with the same drive and determination he uses in
achieving any goal; but afterwards, other goals drive him.

Now the weakness of both types – anger in the Choleric and criticism in the Melancholy can assert
themselves. These types cannot be classified as ‘sensitive’ in any way.

Your blend – Melancholy Choleric – is actually one that has the potential strength to handle a
Choleric Melancholy. Your weaknesses – criticism and over-analysis and anger – may compound
the troubles but there is strength there as well.

You ask about communication – a Choleric Melancholy wants straightforward, well-organized,
task-oriented communication. This, however, is not highly conducive to pleasant marital
communication.

Your email seems to indicate you are a Christian – my “solution” for ANY temperament problems
is rooted in God’s way of doing things.

God created us with our natural temperament – He expects us to grow and change under the
influence of His Spirit living within us. Too many Christians use the excuse “that’s just the way
God made me” to excuse their natural weaknesses.

The solution to transformation (and that’s what our life in Him is – not being conformed to this
world’s way but being transformed by the renewing of our minds) is found in Galatians 5:22.

Here are listed the fruits of the Holy Spirit – and each one, when taken into our lives and allowed
to grow and mature, overcomes a natural temperamental weakness.



The Choleric needs love, kindness, gentleness and self-control to overcome anger. The Melancholy
needs joy, patience and goodness to overcome a critical nature. The Phlegmatic needs peace and
self-control to overcome worry and laziness. The Sanguine needs faithfulness and self-control to
overcome a sloppy, unorganized life.

The key here is the part of the verse that says, “against these, there is no law”. Temperament is a
natural law – the fruit of the Spirit overcomes these natural laws.

BUT (there’s always a ‘but’) it’s only as believers commit themselves to appropriate these fruits,
accept them from God by faith as a gift, and allow them to grow, that they will begin to overcome the
natural temperamental weaknesses.

I do not know if your husband is a Christian – but you can begin to seek to allow these fruits into your
life (and hopefully he can as well).

You each must realize that in your natural selves you will always have friction – and you can learn
natural ways to deal with them. But if one of you doesn’t see the need to change then change
becomes more difficult.

I know I’ve rambled – if you haven’t yet, I’d refer you to my web site and for further reading. I would
also encourage your husband to read these as well.

Best wishes, Hal Warfield

A Melancholy Child
I get many letters from individuals asking questions about their temperaments. This letter comes
from a mother with a Melancholy child. Remember that a Melancholy temperament is very organized
but can be overly analytical and critical. Here's the letter:

Good day.

I have looked at your web site and found many interesting facts about the various personalities. I
have a 10 year old very COMPLEX boy. He is most definitely a melancholy child.

Please advise as to how I can get the most out of him, for him to eventually WANT to do things for
himself, e.g.. school work, sport etc. it seems as if he goes through cycles of really not liking himself.
He accepts ‘compliments very skeptically. Thanks -- Michelle

And I answer:
Michelle,

You didn’t indicate whether you know his secondary type – Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Sanguine. His
age magnifies the problem, as he is about to enter adolescence which is a difficult time for the
happiest of children.

A Melancholy is usually analytical and critical of others but not themselves. If he is not naturally
outgoing (a Phlegmatic secondary) he needs to have some sort of peer group where he receives
positive attention, activity and feedback.



It probably seems like a cliché but activities like Tae kwon do or other martial arts seem to excel in
this type of activity.

If he’s musically inclined, get him a guitar and some lessons. Again the point is to give him feelings
of accomplishment AND to focus his attention more outwardly. Whatever you can come up with to
give him feeling of success and divert his attention from himself should have the effect of gradually
raising his self-concept.

At the same time, I would avoid competitive groups where he will have the tendency to be self-critical
(sports teams for instance).

Don’t expect this to be an overnight change – realize his temperament is inborn and that his
personality is temperament plus his life experience and circumstances. The only part you can
influence are the latter two.


All Four Temperaments in One?
Ewa writes:

I was told that I do have all four and that is unusual. Am I cursed or blessed? Can you elaborate
on this combination?

And I answer:
Ewa –

I have encountered many who have said that there are “all four temperament types” – and this points
up the differences between temperament and personality.

Let’s take a person with a Phlegmatic (laid back, easy going) temperament. If this person is raised
by Cholerics (hard driving, non-emotionally sensitive), they will by necessity take on some Choleric
behaviors simply by being around Cholerics.

So remember that temperament is inborn; personality is your life experience added to your
temperament. You still are probably a blend of two types, but circumstances in your life may have
caused you to take on the behaviors of temperaments that are not naturally your own.

To better see your natural temperaments, ask yourself two questions. First, what are my natural
weaknesses; the things I just “can’t seem to help”? If laziness, you are probably a Phlegmatic. If
you are disorganized, you are probably a Sanguine. If you have a tendency to be critical and
analyze others, you may be Melancholy. And if you tend to not care much about how you affect
other people, you are probably Choleric.

Second, ask yourself how you respond under stress and pressure. A Phlegmatic will procrastinate,
a Sanguine will have sharp emotional outbursts that go away quickly, a Melancholy will begin to
over-analyze everything, and a Choleric will get quiet and angry.

I hope this helps. Hal Warfield



Another “Cold Call for Introverts” Idea
I got an email question on cold calling. It was from someone in the insurance business. Now we
all know that cold calling is NOT an effective way to drive sales, but many sales managers do not
know this.

While I didn't have a direct way to help this person, I did suggest an indirect way that might help.
Here's the letter and my response:

Hello Hal,

I read your article on Cold Calling for Introverts. Thank you!

I am new to the Life Insurance business and I am required to do the dreaded cold calling.

Any advice on selling this type of product? Regards, John

I respond:
John --

I’m not sure my original approach would work as well in an insurance setting. It’s difficult to see
how you could call an individual about information when it’s obvious they haven’t asked for it.

One indirect idea might be to do online searches for lists of names – in this case it might be
membership lists of clubs or organizations in your area (Carson City Chamber of Commerce).
You’ve got Rotary, Lions, Elks, Chamber, Band Parents, etc, etc, etc.

When you find one in your area, you can call with a question about the organization and then try
to move onto your ‘pitch’.

It’s just an idea – it may not have merit. Let me know if you could see how it would work for you.

Hal Warfield

Space Time for Introverts
There is a whole series of Dilbert cartoons where Wally is on sabbatical in his cubicle. He keeps
sending out old memos and emails. Well, at least I added a new sentence at the beginning!

Since introverts tend to be more introspective - I've been saving links to sites that tend to make ME
introspective. (For more on introspection, see my article here.)

Ken Galliott has taken the time to write a wonderful series of essays on all the reasons that "things
are not as they seem". Start your journey down the rabbit hole at his site called Seeking.

What makes you introspective? How much time do extroverts spend "looking inside themselves"?
What is introspection good for?



Does Shy Equate to Introversion?
It's been a busy week. Two days in LA, followed by two days being an illegal alien in Canada! Next
time I'll have the right paperwork with me!

Now back in LA waiting for a flight, I have time to reflect more on that question I get asked from time
to time: Does being shy mean the same thing as being introverted?

As a high-powered Introvert (INFP) (Phlegmatic/Choleric) I feel uniquely qualified to answer that
question. As a child I was HIGHLY bashful. I did not speak much, I did not interact with other
children much and my mother tells me I was a very compliant child.

Now I believe that introversion formed the basis of this shyness which lasted into college. But I
believe that even the most hard-nosed introvert can overcome shyness.

As an adult I have made my living in Sales and Marketing for 15 years. I HATE cold calling (see
my article entitled "Cold Calling for Introverts") and do not schmooze well.

After a presentation or meeting I still have the Introvert's desperate need to go hide somewhere
until I can recharge. But I CAN make presentations and I CAN call people when I have to and I
CAN hold conversations with strangers.

So what happened? I believe a strong program of self-development over the years helped me build
self-confidence. Not blustering, Dale Carnegie confidence but actual confidence in my abilities, my
intelligence and my understanding.

Studying Temperaments helped me tremendously -- finally coming to the realization that I was not
socially retarded (Hey! I'm just an Introvert!) made a big difference.

So, while perhaps controversial, I believe that Introversion is inborn and shyness is a controllable,
changeable behavior. If you disagree, please let me know back -- I am always open to other points
of view.

Introverts of the World – Evolve!
And I'm not talking about growing feathers. One of my ongoing peeves in life is a tendency by many
to excuse their behavior on inborn temperament.

Now understand that, in my book, temperament IS the subtle underlying basis of who we are. Some
are easy going Phlegmatics, others are detailed Melancholies, there are outgoing Sanguines and
hard driving Cholerics.

But because you were originally wired that way is NOT an excuse for not growing and
changing. Dictionary.com defines the word evolve as to develop or achieve gradually' -- and this I
support for all temperament types.

Phlegmatics tend to fight laziness -- to evolve means to become generally more active over time
through work and discipline. Melancholies tend to over-analyze and be critical -- to evolve means to
put this to good use in helping others rather than criticizing them.



Sanguines are disorganized and messy -- to evolve means learning organizational skills both in
physical spaces and mental ones. Cholerics have little patience with others and care little about
their feelings -- to evolve means taking others into consideration.

And if you are introverted I understand the difficulty involved; I once refused to go into church
because we were 20 minutes late and my introversion refused to allow me to face the crowd.
But I have evolved -- while I don't necessarily like being outgoing, I can do it when needed. So
much so that I've ended up in leadership positions over and over again.

So don't grow a tail today -- but do think about evolving.

Temperament and Marriage
I'm not happy with myself for the gaps in this. And I'm cautious about making a new years
resolution -- I may not keep it.

Oh well, here is a question from a reader of one of my articles on my other website on how
temperament relates to choosing a spouse.

Hey friend, I’d like to ask your opinion on marriage. Do you think opposites make best marriages?
Is it important in your mind? The ones that don’t have matching temperaments (and I mean both as
we all have at least two) never quite seem to thrive as well as those that are, any thoughts yourself?

Any feedback is much appreciated!

And here's my response:
In my experience Temperament plays a vital role in marriage. What most people don’t realize is
that we are often attracted to temperaments that are different than ours. A quiet Phlegmatic may
appreciate the outgoing, talkative Sanguine. An organized Melancholy may think that a hard
charging Choleric is just like them.

The problem arises when we find out that their weaknesses are our strengths and we cannot
understand how what is easy to us is so hard to them. A Sanguine is very, very disorganized and
a Melancholy finds that infuriating. A Phlegmatic is very easy going and a Choleric is totally
impatient with that approach.

You cannot help your natural temperament type any more than you can help your eye color.
Therefore it makes sense to find someone who shares some of your temperament in some way.
Remember also that each of us is a blend of two temperament types. If you are a Choleric
Sanguine (full speed ahead but also socially outgoing), you might do well with a Sanguine
Phlegmatic (socially outgoing and easy going at the same time).

The most difficult combination is two complete temperamental opposites. A Melancholy Choleric
(detailed/critical and hard charging) is going to be very impatient and critical of a Sanguine
Phlegmatic (socially outgoing and easy going).

I believe temperament tests are a useful tool when looking (objectively) at choosing a spouse. Let
me know if you have questions. - Hal Warfield



Inter-Temperamental Irritation
Hmmm . . . sounds like the cause for a rash. And in a way it is. Every temperament type is irritated
by every other. With the exception of the Phlegmatic (who is generally laid back and easy going),
each type finds something irritating about the other.

The Choleric is purposeful and direct -- and strongly dislikes the "flightiness" of the outgoing Sanguine.
The Melancholy is detailed and analytical and tidy -- and strongly dislikes the lack of organization by
the Phlegmatic and Sanguine. And they are also critical of the Choleric's "pushiness".

The Sanguine is "warm and fuzzy", social and talkative, and they have short but strong outbursts at
anything and everyone -- but they're over quickly.

What temperament traits irritate you? And which of your traits would you imagine irritate others?

So here's a letter:

Good day sir,

I am a typical Chinese student from Singapore. I have just read your comments and explanation on
man’s character and personality. Frankly speaking, I am mostly choleric and a little melancholy. I
have a friend, who is also a student leader like me, and I find him extremely showy. And I find it very
hard to bear with him too since both of us are student leaders. I don’t see why he is so dominant,
though I am his In-Charge. This really makes me insecure and angry. If you do not mind, can you tell
me a way to correct my perspective sir? I will be forever indebted to your help.

Thank You,
Name withheld, Singapore Republic

To which I reply:
Sir,

As a Choleric, you are very goal-oriented BUT you are not particularly outgoing. You are not a
natural “people person”. Your Melancholy makes you analyze things carefully. However, the
weaknesses of your temperament include anger and criticism – so it is natural that you find yourself
reacting this way.

On the other hand, you friend is most likely Sanguine that is, an outgoing, warm, friendly “people
person” who is naturally extroverted. This person can no more help being outgoing than you can
help being dedicated and focused.

Since neither of you can change your natural temperament, you must learn to accept (or at least
tolerate) each other. You would do well to cultivate some friends with Phlegmatic temperaments. A
Phlegmatic is soft spoken and easy going and will be a good listener.

Focus on getting things done and don’t let your friends natural temperament make you insecure –
here is an article about accepting your temperament type on my website www.introvert.cc.




Like Father, Like Daughter?
I asked my oldest daughter, Lauren, to express her feelings about being an Introvert. My wife and
youngest daughter are Extroverts. You just can't get away from them! (Kidding!)

My name is Lauren. I am nineteen and a sophomore attending Rhodes College. A while ago, my dad
asked me to write an article for his introvert web site about being an introvert, how it affects me, what
it means to me, etc. So here I am, and here it is.

First of all, I would like to start off, though it may be a bit high school essay-ish, writing what
dictionary.com says the meaning of introvert is. Although we are not quite “anatomical structures that
are capable of being introverted,” we do fit some of the other definitions:

• to concentrate (one’s interests) upon oneself
• a person who tends to shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their own thoughts
• to turn inside

All these definitions can be amounted in a singular sentence: To be introverted is to be more focused
on ones insides rather than the external world. Boy is that me. Actually, now that I think about it, you
can be both focused inside and out. Let me try to explain.

I am a thinker. I enjoy thinking. I really like and enjoy being alone with my thoughts. I am no basket
case, but it is almost as if is a separate you within you that is a part of you with whom you converse
or just talk to. It is somewhat difficult to explain. It’s not as though I have multiple personalities or
anything, I just like thinking and talking to myself-internally, of course. I enjoy my own company.

In doing so over the past nineteen years, I’ve gained a very deep sense of beliefs, my morals, and
myself. I think it’s funny to watch people, especially those my age, talking about learning to get to
know themselves and such because I’ve already done it. I’m not saying I know just every facet about
myself, but I have a solid sense of self.

My outward focus is more of an observer. I am totally aware of my surroundings and am always
looking around me and watching people. I watch people try to read them, with an internal conversation
about what I’m seeing. It’s difficult to be highly self-aware. I’m also highly sensitive. Those two things
aren’t always fun when put together.

Of the few parties I’ve gone to, it’s rather a strain and emotionally draining and exhausting for me. It
takes energy to try and be more extroverted and focus outwards. Extrovert’s conversations flow;
where as we introverts think before we talk. I tend to prefer deep conversations as opposed to the
rapid, flowing conversations on (what often seems to me to be) frivolous topics that extroverts seem
more inclined to.

Being introverted is a mixed blessing. On one hand, I know myself and am very comfortable with
myself. I can also read people and “feel” them and situations. I can feel my emotions intensely and
deeply. That can be helpful and hindering. On the other hand, I’m constantly watching myself and
can be critical of myself.

Sometimes I feel bad because so many other people (75%) are extroverts, and it’s almost like there
is something wrong with me. I know it’s just that I’m in the minority, but that doesn’t make it any less
difficult to be around lots of people.



If it all came down to it, I’d prefer to be an introvert. I like knowing myself and being alone a good
amount of the time. It’s peaceful and nice. Sometimes people just need to be quiet and calm down.
However, it was more difficult, and still can be, during school when socialization is such a big part of
growing up and life in general. Sometimes I just really, really want to fit in with all those other happy,
smiley people who are just chatting away, but I know that’s not me, and I wouldn’t have fun even if
I were within that group.

That’s not to say I’m a loner. Nor is it to say that I am shy. I merely prefer small groups of more
intimate friends. I’m pretty selective of my friends anyway. I must “feel” them out and have a sense of
connection, or I know nothing will come of it. Within my own group of friends, I can be very outgoing
because I trust, know, and connect with them.

Extroverts don’t always bother me. I know they are just acting they way they are made to act. That
doesn’t make it any less difficult to be around them at times though. It’s also a bit difficult to live in
an extroverted world. If 75% of the world is made up of extroverts, then they have molded this world
to fit the extroverted lifestyle. To be successful, it is necessary, or at least helpful, to be outgoing a
lot of the time. In a way it’s like fitting a round peg into a square hole. But I suppose we need the
extroverts, and they need us in a sort of balance although they have more yin over our yang.

It’s kind of strange (in a good way) to be an introvert sometimes. It can be very difficult to describe
the distinct sensations and perceptions you have of the world around you. I once read it being
described as a sort of sixth sense in a way. Say I see a random person out somewhere. Just from
looking at them I can generally tell what type of person they are and what they are like. Oh, I know
to stay away from the new guy. He’s a big flirt with everyone and still kind of immature and stuck in a
seemingly high school phase. In the end, he’ll be no good. Something similar to that, but these aren’t
thoughts but rather feelings and perceptions I get.

Again, when it all comes down to it, I enjoy being an introvert despite what pains it may and will cause
me. I like being comfortable with myself, and I like having my “sixth sense.” I almost feel as though I
have a sort of “leg up” on other people. It gives me a sense of confidence. I trust myself. There’s
something more I want to say about being an introvert, something very good and wonderful about it,
but again, it’s a feeling that is hard to describe.

Decisions, Decisions
Once we discover that our temperament has something to do with where we are in life, we often
panic and want things to change. Read on for another letter:

Please help!!!!!! I am a MelPhleg with a number of Choleric traits underlying my personality. I read
your book "Why you act the way you do". Very interesting! I am currently an occupational therapist
and miserable. I feel like I am drowning in paperwork and sit on my butt all day. This is not a good
recipe for a doer. I have been thinking about a career change. I am thinking about being a
photographer in the military. Of course, I am analyzing this to death. I am reading all information I
can get my fingers on, seeing a career counselor now and plan on talking to a recruiter in the near
future. I was wondering if you have any additional advise for me and my situation? Do you still offer
the Personalized Temperament Analysis? If so, I am interested in receiving it for myself.



And I answer:
First off - s-l-o-w down. You’re gonna blow a gasket! A Melancholy Phlegmatic is a detailed
person who doesn't feel the need to force that style on others. The need to analyze of the
Melancholy combined with a tendency to worry from the Phlegmatic are causing some of this
anxiety. If it is important to change what you are doing, then some of your steps are already
underway. A "career counselor" can mean a lot of things so be careful there. I might suggest you
read an article on Introspection and one on a Personal Life Planning process here on my "other"
web site.

I would also recommend Po Bronsen's book "What should I do with My Life" which I have reviewed
here. Best wishes and let me know if you have questions.

Hal

And a Child Shall Lead?
I cannot believe I've been off over a month. My life is so busy now I'm meeting myself coming
and going (which only works in an 11 dimensional space-time).

And now my mail includes temperament questions about kids! Well, I'll take a shot at it.

Question: My wife and I realize we have a Choleric child. She is 7, first born, very bright (school
comes easy). She is also prone to erratic behavior, fits of anger, outburst and the like. She tries to
dominate by manipulating your actions through hers. We now know not to spank a Choleric child,
but how do you discipline one? Thanks for any help.

My answer:
First understand that no one is a pure Choleric or any other of the four types. At 7 it may be
difficult to see her “secondary” type but it’s there. Is she detailed? Then her secondary might be
Melancholy. Is she outgoing and talkative? Her secondary may be Sanguine.

A Choleric is a task oriented, goal focused individual who doesn’t care much how they achieve
those goals. Rather than trying to control, I suggest you find “energy outlets” that are goal oriented.
I’ve not been involved personally but something like martial arts, which stresses personal discipline
and control, might be something to consider.

Discipline has to make sense to a Choleric. By “make sense” I don’t mean they like it but that the
punishment clearly fits the crime. It probably needs to be an activity based discipline like cleaning
or picking up sticks in the yard or something like that; don’t make them “take a time out” that’ll just
make the pot boil.


Hate Your Temperament Type
Each of us has, at some time, wished we had the traits of another person. I wish I was as
(cool/smart/beautiful/add your own word) as so-and-so. Why are we so dissatisfied with the cards
we were dealt?



Not sure I have the answer but it's a good lead into tonight's email question:

Hi
I do hate my personality. I am a semi professional in health care. I have always been the quiet
shy guy. Good at my career but avoid going to far out of the box therefore give up lot of career
opportunities. I wish I could be comfortably outgoing, is there any way at 47 years old, I could
change that? At my age I still do not like my personality, it holds me back in more ways than one.

My response:
It does no good to "hate" your personality any more than you can hate your eye color. It was
something you received from birth and heritage. I am an extremely introverted individual but I've
had to learn (some by being forced and some by making myself) to at least function well in an
extroverted world. If you feel your temperament has"held you back" then you've got to figure out
what you really want out of life. Read this article on "What Should I do with My Life" - which is my
personal review of Po Bronsen's book - then look at this article on Personal Discovery.

I think an introvert can be happy with one or two good friends - you don't have to want to be an
extrovert; introverts are needed on the planet too!

Are Melancholies Doomed?
I return today to the "Ann Landers" portion of my site. These are letters I get from those who read
my Personal Development articles over on my other website -- I'm Gonna Keep On Looking. They
write, I answer . . . One letter said:

If I'm a MEL (Melancholy temperament) I'm doomed I couldn't see one positive trait there and in this
day and age it's harder than ever to remain thick skinned; A friend of mine down the pub noticed this
was my personality type and now I feel worthless.

My reply:
(chuckle) One of a Melancholy's weaknesses is being critical; especially SELF-critical -- you are
neither 'doomed' nor 'worthless'. First off, relax -- there is not one temperament that is better or
worse than another.

A Melancholy is strongest in being organized and analytical. Melancholies make excellent doctors
or engineers or any profession where a highly detailed and organized person is needed. They are
the types that can keep a group or job or project organized and on track.

It is true that the Melancholy, when they go too far, can be seen as critical. This is a trait that you'll
need to work on. First, even if you feel that you are absolutely right in something you are thinking
or going to say, take the time to think how your comments may affect the other person. No matter
how right you feel, it most often does no good to open up verbally on the other person.

You need to identify your "secondary" trait because no one is all Melancholy. Are you also a Driver
(Choleric)? Or outgoing and verbal (Sanguine)? Or is there a part of you that is laid back
(Phlegmatic)? It helps to know your secondary type because it affects your overall personality. - Hal



My 10-year-old’s Take on Introverts and Extroverts
My daughter wants to add her $0.02 worth to my ongoing symposium on introverts and extroverts:

I think that some people make a bigger deal about being extrovert and introvert than others. Like
my father, who is the maker of this website, and my sister. They both kind of joke around with Mom
and me about us being extroverts. Sometimes it seems like you can be a mixture of both like me.
At school I’m really shy and introverted and then I get home and I become extroverted. I think that
introverts are really cool though because they don’t say hurtful things as much as extroverts do
because they kind of keep it to themselves. And that is fine with me!

Anger Anyone?
I rarely get angry but I don't think it's because I'm introverted. Beyond introvert/extrovert there are
other temperament classifications. To see a comparison of different types of temperament systems
look at I'm Gonna Keep On Looking.

But here is one of my coaching emails dealing with anger: The reader writes:

Thank You So Much! I have taken the temperament (personality test) from one of Florence Littauer's
books (HOW TO GET ALONG WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE) and came out as a strong Melancholy,
followed closely by Choleric with almost no Sanguine and just a few Phlegmatic traits. As the typical
Melancholy might I've always tried to understand who and why I am and how to get along better with
others, since I do not(!) get a long well. Your article was very enlightening and helpful. Now if I can
just apply what I've learned I might cope better.

And I answered:
The Melancholy/Choleric combination is a very detailed person with a strong drive to accomplish
whatever is ahead of them. Unfortunately, it also has the potential to combine the strongest
negative traits - criticism and anger. A melancholy/choleric MUST realize that they are not always
right (even when it seems SO clear that you are - to you!) and that other's ways of doing things are
okay (even when they seem careless and un-directed).

You will work better with other Cholerics who respect your level of detail. You would do well to
cultivate a few Phlegmatic friends who will accept you as you are - and give them the space in
your life to (gently) offer you their input on your ideas. Let me know if I can answer any other
questions.

Extrovert versus Introvert – Win/Win?
I'm using some of my coaching emails to continue to explain some of the differences between
temperaments.

A wife wrote: My husband is a phlegmel (in other words, a strong Phlegmatic with a Melancholy
secondary), and I am a sangchol (or a Sanguine with a Choleric secondary). How can I best relate
to my husband without shutting him down, or trampling on he feelings?s. To that end, she is more
open to visit with friends, co-workers, and family to meet her need for socialibility.


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