3. If you’re insecure with women and lack
confidence, then you’re not just going to
be able to walk out your front door and
start approaching every attractive
woman you see. That’s not a realistic
goal.
You have to start small, and think more
practically.
If you already don’t socialize very often,
then you will find it especially hard to
feel confident around girls. The first
thing you should do, then, is to forget
about women for now and start
expanding your social life.
4. Start going to more social hobbies (e.g. rock
climbing) and talking to other guys there.
Meet up with friends on a weekly basis.
Try and chat to people daily if you can, even
if it’s something as simple as being friendly
and speaking to cashiers.
This might feel irrelevant, but it all promotes
the growth of social muscles in tiny,
imperceptible ways that add up to big
changes.
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5. Then, once you’ve become more confident with
basic socializing, start attending hobbies/social
activities that have you interacting with women
more. There is no better place to do this than
dance classes.
As a general rule though, try to go where you have
a genuine interest. Then, when you’re at these
activities, try talking to women more. Don’t worry
about asking them out or anything yet, just talk to
them.
This will help you demystify the idea you need to
have some kind of amazing skill to speak to
women and feel confident. In reality, it’s just a
muscle you need to practice.
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7. Confidence and insecurity are muscles,
and like any muscle, they get weaker
the less you use them. If I spend all week
shut inside, never speaking to people,
and writing, on the weekend it’s a lot
harder than usual for me to overcome
my approach anxiety.
I feel just as nervous and afraid as when
I first started improving my confidence.
And that’s normal. That’s how anxiety
works.
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8. There’s no one and done solution. You can
have all the positive beliefs in the world, but
you also need a lifestyle to back it up.
With this in mind, it’s important you keep
practicing this stuff. If you want to learn how
to not be insecure with women then you have
to make sure you’re getting out of your
house, socializing, and meeting women on a
weekly basis. There is no other way.
I like playing video games and watching TV
as much as the next guy, but those aren’t
going to help you here. They’re actually
going to make your issues worse.
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10. The biggest obstacle to your consistency will
be you beating yourself up and talking
yourself into quitting. That’s a tough obstacle
to handle because, at the start, your insecurity
will have a lot of negativity to work with.
When you’re inexperienced with women, shy,
and don’t often socialize, it’s incredibly easy
to take everything the wrong way. And whilst
I’m going to cover why that’s 100% wrong
later in this presentation, I want you to
consider one thing:
How much do you really know about why you
succeeded or failed in any interaction?
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11. Whether it’s talking to a new guy friend or
speaking to a woman you like, you have no
idea why it went right or wrong. But when
you’re inexperienced, you’re going to assume
it has something to do with all the evidence
your insecure mind throws at you.
Sure, at the start, you will make mistakes. But
you have to make sure you’re not taking them
as an excuse to quit. You’re not developing
consistency in order to learn some skill that
has you doing everything right. You’re being
consistent so that you begin to not care when
you get a thousand things wrong.
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13. As I said at the beginning of this article, you
don’t need to be anything incredible to be
great with women. You just need to not stink,
have your life together, and be someone who’s
enjoyable to hang out with. These are factors in
showing confidence with women.
But your mind is going to do it’s best to tell you
otherwise. Maybe it’s insecurity or just
something innate to men, but this is something
I see guys struggle with all the time. They
convince themselves that they have to be
something other than what they are. And it
couldn’t be further from the truth.
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14. The fundamental core of learning how to not
be insecure with women is realizing that you’re
okay just as you are.
Maybe you'll walk up to her and be shot down.
Maybe she'll jump over you. The important
thing is that you’ll be okay either way. You
don’t need her validation, you were just
attracted to her.
So don’t try to be super cool, suave, or your
idea of what an alpha male is, just work on
being the best version of yourself.
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15. 1. What type of body do you prefer?
2. How old do you like your women?
3. What type of connection are you seeking?
Check their photos inside, but please, keep
everything 100% confidential.
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STEPS
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