Scranna 2010. A Shetland poem in the dialect with apologies to the late J.J. Haldane Burgess the author of the classic original version. No apology is due to Viking Energy because of their greed driven, ruinous plans to destroy a unique scenic landscape by building Europe's largest onshore windfarm across central Shetland. Despite overwhelming Shetland-wide opposition to their devlish plan Viking Energy have manipulated and created a situation whereby the local democreacy is moribund and the final decision on the Windfarm will be taken by the Energy Minister of the Scottish Government. An SNP government that is far from sympathetic when it comes to protectiong the natural environment as happened recently when they gave the go-ahead in Aberdeenshire for internationally imoprtant wild habitat to be dug up to be turned into Donald Trump's golf courses.

1. SCRANNA 2010 By Affrug (with apologies to the late J.J. Haldane Burgess and no apology to Viking Energy.)

2. Da Deil he skoitedower da scattald o Scranna, Bit windmill, or quarry, or access road he saana, An sae, wi a smeeg, he tought tae himsel, Dis is da right place fur my extension tae Hell.

3. I wissittin mi laen afore da laptop da streen, Windernwhar da SRDP form hedgeen, Dan a rid box starts blinkin, VIRUS - Alert! An I tinks tae mi-sel, dir's a black lump idaert. Whinfurt I hear da most faresome roar, O’ performance exhausts o’ a car at da door. I hear da door slam, an a neesterin tone, Dan da aff-lay o’ some-een tae a mobile fone.

4. Da windoowis open, an I heard da voice say, "Old Rasmus, just a crofter, he won't stand in our way". Aponwir brig-steenstuid a cratir, wi da fone tae his lug, So shouts I, "Silistyounder, til I mitten da dug", Fur aald ‘Seemun’ wisgirnin, an shaan da fang, Wi da birsestandin up, he wis ready tae spang, So I yocked a-had o’ knave-fu o’ hair, An says, "Seemun! Wheestwi de! Get an-under da shair!"

5. Dan I sees in wir front porch, wharwihaalaff da buit, A roondtudge o a cratir, wearin a pin-stripy suit Anunder a langtaily-cottwi da belt hingindoon. Tinks I tae mi-sel, "Boy du's no langfae da toon", "Wi de gold rimmed glesses an sleeked back hair If derewis a bank tae be robbed du'dhae de dy share". Dan oot comes da hand, and wimair o a smeegdan a smile He says, "Rasmus, at last, I've been seeking you for a while".

6. Says I, "If hit’s important you'd better come But", Says he, "Do you have a fire in your quaint little hut?” Dan steppin in trow, although bidden naemair, He maks fur da fire, an draas up a shair. Dan hentin on da fire near a full kishie o paet Mutters “Such a primitive way to get one some heat”, Sittin up says, “I’ve brought you good news, that as part of our plan, In just a very few years you’ll be a very rich man”.

7. £ £ £ £ Says I “Yae, dat’ll be right, “Whit’s da guid news you’ve brought Rasmie da night?” “Oh” smiles he “ I’m sure you are aware of Windylights 2, The implementation of which will mean money for you”. Dan we a whenk o’ da coat tail “We are really concerned!”, That despite our best efforts folk haven’t learned, Of the millions of pounds we can screw from the land” “ But Rasmus, my friend, you can give us a hand.”

8. Says he “If you sign for us now to dig up your scattald, Then getting planning consent won’t be a battle”. Says I “I’m awar o’ your ploy tae destroy a guid bit o’ hill, Whit maks you tink you can dö here whit you will?” “Wi bulldozers an trucks bruckintrow da best o’ da moor, Makin roads for da tons o’ concrete you’ll poor”. “Da moor ‘ill get sabbit an you’ll hokstanksfae da mire, An fill every loch an burn lek da runnickfae da byre!”

9. He wisna best plaisedwhintelt him a’ dis, An forgetin tae knapp, says “Boy, is du takin da piss?” Dan minding himsel, “Rasmus, can’t you see, There’ll be millions of pounds here, for your kind and for me”. “When planning is granted we can sell the lot on, Then taking our cut we can have a life in the sun”. “A life well away from these bleak, worthless hills, And the Charitable Trust subsidy will pay all our bills”.

10. Says I, “Wir hills might a’ be desolate tae de, An sit wirwhaar you tink da Energy Minister ‘ill no see”. “Bit lit me tell de noo, wir hills a’ belang tae da folk, No tae bankers and gamblers whaar you widhaewis in hock”. “Wir hills irhame, no just fur wis and wiryowes, Dir da Rain Gus, da Whaap, an da laverock, abune da green knowes”. Mi birse up noo says I, “Tak de dammed windmills an mak fur da door, Sink de an dy schemes, lekDakers-Black and Walker, datwir in here afore”.

11. So wi’ datsam he gets tae his fit, Says, “Rasmus, boy dis day du’ll live tae regret”, “Opposition is useless - we have ways to get what we want, No matter how much you plebs petition and rant”. We da scrape o’ a cluf he made tae gengoot, An fae under da shair ‘Seemun’ cam wi a spoot, Dan in a stuech o’ ess and guff o paet reek Da Deil wisgeen, bit aald ‘Seemun’ wishaddin da erse o his breeks.

28. SAVE SHETLAND’S HILLS

29. JUST SAY NO!