For a new perspective on marriage as a longlife journey. This is from a community of sharing, following a reading plan.

1. MARRIAGE : A LIFELONG JOURNEY.
Day 1: Matthew 19.4-6
4
And he said in answer, Have you not seen in the Writings (Scriptures), that he (the Creator) who
made them at the first(in the beginning, originally) made them male and female (man and
woman)for each other, and said, 5
For this cause (On account of this, for this reason, This explains
why) will a man go away from (shall leave) his father and mother, and be joined (united, shall
cleave, firmly bonded) to his wife; and the two will become one flesh? 6
So that they are no longer
two, but one flesh. Then let not that which has been joined (organic union) by God be parted
(separated, divided, put asunder) by man (human beings).
1. The intention of God in our “differences”.
We don't need a proof that we are different (male and female), we know it VERY WELL, and feel
it strongly in every circumstance. What we forget (ignore) often is the reason we are who we are.
As a human being is always struggling to understand who he is, the “other person” is always a
source of fear, worries, stress. The big issue is not who is the other person but “who am I?”. As
longer as this question does not have a clear, sure, unchanging answer, we will always have
problem between male and female. But this is not the reason of why we exist.
From the origins, the beginnings, there is a reason why GOD CREATED us MALE AND FEMALE;
FOR EACH OTHER.
We can jump easily the affirmation that God created us as we have been “in touch” with this
information for a long time. And this is the source of our struggle: this is not an automatic truth.
Of course we can change the fact that we are created by God, but our lives can align or not on this
truth. God has created us with a free will to obey or disobey. “You are free to eat from any tree in
the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat
of it you will surely die.” Every creature is made with intention, and it is according to this we can
say it functions well or not. How do we care to know the reason why we are created and how
much do we align to this reason. And if the quest of understanding this reason leads us in self-
discovery, we have gone astray. Our origin is in God and our reason of life is in Him.
Sometimes I am not comfortable with the idea that man and woman are different. What do we
understand by “different”. My doubt on this statement is that, for some, this difference has in its
definition a negative note based on comparison. If we don't compare a sheep and a monkey, why
do we compare male and female? Are they supposed to be alike (on this sexual level)? Yes we are
all human beings (as animals are animals, trees are trees) and we have something together
extremely valuable, we are all created in God's image. “So God created man in his own image, in
the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” And from this very
beginning, God created a male and female. I believe what will help us is not to compare male and
female, but to understand who is a male and who is a female. And as we were asking above, what
was the intention of God (from the origins) to create male and female?
For each other. This part is not explicitly written in many versions of the Bible. The Message

2. version has put it clearly. Can we believe this version is true? When I continue to read the verses,
I can trust “The Message” version is correct. “For this reason, a man shall leave his parents and
join the wife”, because they are created “for each other”. And this is very important to know that I
am created like I am for the other person (my wife or my husband). And if we come back to the
beginning of this paper, we need to remember our struggles are coming from not understanding
well “who we are” and the other person become a source of fear. It is important to know who we
are and for what we are created, and in this topic, we are created for each other. And in my quest
of understand this relationship, my part is not to understand who is the other person FOR ME,
but who I am FOR THE OTHER person. This will prevent frustration and wrong expectations.
2. The true perspective of our “differences”
If the intention of God in creating male and female is that every one live for the other person,
and if we believe what God wants for us is VERY GOOD though we do sometimes not
understand, then we should happily LEAVE our parents after years and years of strong
relationship. Parents are good and thank God we have them, for their time. But the ultimate
purpose of our being is not in being children or parents, but male and female. Our relation with
parent (and family) can not be based on this male/female identity, and cannot be complete
(though we are used to it and want to stay in). The first person important in my life is the one
who help me to fully/completely be the one God created, male or female, and this can ONLY be
my wife or husband. The illusion of this comfort, confidence, trust and security we have with
people from our family (parents, brothers and sisters) should not hinder the highly valuable well
being we have with THE OTHER person.
3. The more you leave, the more you join, and the more you become new.
This is a godly movement and God is never a half/half, neither about percentage. We have to love
our God with our WHOLE heart, we have to be cold or hot (not warm or cool). And if God says
leave, this is a complete/definitive movement of cutting this sense of our identity from
child/parent perspective to connect wholly to our new identity with a male/female perspective.
Most couples have issues because the movement of spouses was not complete. To understand
quiet well how this movement should be, we compare it to the movement of salvation. One can
not put new wine in old wineskin, but we have to put off the old me, being renewed and put on
the new me. A spouse who feels more security/confidence/comfort with his/her parents is just a
kid and not a man/woman.
4. United for a whole life.
“The message” version explain again that is union is organic, relating to the fact that we are living
creature, but more that we have bodies, sexes. The union between male and female is a bodily
union, repeated with different degree of understanding of the corpse of a human being: flesh,
body, sex. This male and female that God created for each other is meant to be physically united
and NO ONE, even one of them has no right to cut him/herself apart from the partner. This will
not be an attitude of a male toward a female (or female toward male), but an attitude of a human
being toward God the creator, who decide the two become one, emotionally and physically.