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2016 - You Don't Belong Here: Dealing with Impostor Syndrome
- 1. You Don’t Belong Here! DEALING WITH IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
- 2. Who the heck am I?! Jody Wolfborn Self-professed Imposterizer IT/DevOps practitioner for around 7 years Dog-person with a short attention span I love punctuation!
- 3. Rules of Engagement This stuff works for me Find what you connect with and build your practice around that Take what you want or need and respectfully leave the rest
- 4. What the heck is Impostor Syndrome?! And how the heck do I spell it?! An intense, overwhelming anxiety that one’s achievements are undeserved, and that they’ll be discovered as an impostor! I feel desperately out of place… I have no idea what I’m supposed to understand… Everyone knows something that I don’t… If they find out what I don’t know… I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop…
- 6. …believe they’re imposters don’t… Why the heck do you care?!
- 8. "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." — Bertrand Russell
- 11. Coworkers Mentor Close friends Partner/Sig Other Trusted Advisors DEFINITION! “Inner Circle”
- 12. Choose Your Support Group Carefully!
- 13. How the heck do I deal with it?! You’re not an impostor if you remain ADEPT Be Aware Be Deliberate Be Empathetic Be Powerful Be Tenacious
- 14. Be AWARE! Know what triggers your Impostor Syndrome! Know what you’re saying! Know that you’re not alone! Know when to admit you don’t know!
- 15. Be DELIBERATE! Choose to change your attitude! Choose to change your language! Choose to learn and grow! Choose your support group carefully!
- 16. Be EMPATHETIC! Listen to your body! Listen to your instincts! Listen to others actively! Listen to the good things people say about you!
- 17. Be POWERFUL! Exhude pride! Exhude confidence! Exhude strength! Exhude compassion!
- 18. Be TENACIOUS! Fight the urge to give up! Fight the fear concept of failure! Fight the tedium! Fight complacency!
- 19. Remember: You’re Not ALONE!!
- 20. Seriously, REMEMBER: You’re Not ALONE!!
- 21. “And now that you don’t have to be perfect… ….you can be good.”
Notas del editor
- Respectfully leave the rest: these are suggestions, not dictums. You don’t have to use any of these techniques if you don’t want to.
- Impostor and imposter are the same! Never feel like an imposter again! Hubris syndrome
- Einstein: Theory of Relativity, “the exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler.” Neil Gaiman Sonia Sotomayor: Supreme court Justice, graduate of BOTH Yale and Princeton Jodie Foster: “I always feel like something of an impostor. I don’t know what I’m doing”; overall net worth ~$100 million; graduate of Yale John Steinbeck: Prolific author during the Great Depression (when NO ONE was succeeding!) “ Tina Fey Maya Angelou: “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’”
- Impostor Syndrome affects approximately 70% of people in every career field and every walk of life. 7 out of 10 people you meet, work with, know and love, suffer from this anxiety
- “Impostor/Imposter” – Someone who is lying about belonging to a group. ARE YOU LYING ABOUT BELONGING??? No. Then you’re not an impostor! WOOHOO! “Adept” – Someone who is good at what they do; antonym of impostor “Hubris” – Ancient greek, Excessive pride or self-confidence, often leading to the inescapable agent of someone's or something's downfall.
- “Fixed Mindset” – A binary translation of one’s actions or accolades; failure/success, smarter/dumber, etc.; If at first you don’t succeed, you did it wrong. This might make me unpopular, but Yoda got it wrong here. His intention is to say “Stop planning for failure”, and I get that; Luke needed quit whining about how difficult his tasks were and actually focus on doing them. So maybe, “Commit to your goals and yourself, you must” might’ve been a better quote here! The problem with this quote is that it puts the hearer in a fixed mindset; ”If I know I’m going to fail at this, then I just won’t do it.” If at first you don’t succeed, you weren’t smart/strong/whatever enough/you were doing it wrong in the first place! “Fixed Mindset” – A binary translation of one’s actions or accolades; failure/success, smarter/dumber, etc.; If at first you don’t succeed, you did it wrong.
- “Growth Mindset” – A fluid translation of one’s actions or accolades; success is measured in whether you learned or grew from it; If at first you don’t succeed, try try again. If at first you don’t succeed, try again! Try to figure out why your attempt failed and
- “Inner Circle” – A support group of your most trusted advisors; can/should include a mentor, a close friend, a devil’s advocate (the 11th man), and someone who will listen to you and love you no matter what you do or say Your inner circle should be made up of people you trust to tell it to you like it is These are your Knights of the Round Table
- UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND LISTENING (as long as there aren’t any toys around), but they might not be the one you turn to for advice BESTIE – They provide advice, guidance, and serve as a trusted advisor DEVIL’S ADVOCATE - They provide accountability and help you learn and grow; they provide alternative perspectives MENTOR – They provide guidance and counseling, as well as best practices on many things, you follow their example, and respect their opinion
- Whether you’re trying to pull yourself out of a pitfall or trying to help a friend or coworker, remember these tips
- Be conscious, and be considerate with your words and actions. The triggers that set you off into Impostorland might be the same triggers in someone else; be aware that what you say can actually cause someone ELSE to feel as horrible or down-on-themselves as you do!
- Listen to your body! Listen to your instincts! Listen to others actively! Listen to the good things people say about you!
- I enable you to make the changes you want to see! You have the power! Sia “And I win every single game!” You DO deserve your accolades; be proud of them! (*proud, not boastful) Exhude pride! Your accomplishments are well-deserved! Exhude confidence! Even if you’re faking it! Exhude strength! Make it hard for others to tear you down! Exhude compassion!
- Find the techniques that work for you and practice them EVERY DAY!!! Remember, you are not alone!
- 70% of people suffer from this. 70!!! If The important part is to NEVER STOP TRYING. Don’t succumb to the anxiety, but also be aware of areas you can develop and grow! If you start to feel that “I’m a fraud!” feeling, figure out why and do something about it!
- "Look, there’s a good chance you’re weird. I think that’s awesome. Don’t sit there in the crowd and wonder if the people next to you are really your peers and if you belong among them. You should be on stage, sharing what you know.” Rachel Lovinger