Be Your Own Hero Workbook
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This document is a workbook aimed at helping survivors of abuse and trauma move past pain and suffering to reclaim joy and happiness. The workbook contains worksheets and questions to guide users through identifying and understanding their trauma, fears, and negative thought patterns. It encourages exploring how trauma has manifested in one's life and relationships, and working towards letting go of old pain to live freely without fear. The overall goal is to help users process their experiences and remove "the sword of trauma" to live a joyful, empowered life.
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Be Your Own Hero Workbook
- 1. Angela Shelton’s BE YOUR OWN HERO Be Your Own Hero For survivors of abuse, warriors, advocates, loved ones and supporters WARRIOR WORKBOOK ready to move past pain and suffering and reclaim joy and happiness. A workbook that takes you on a journey to THIS WORKBOOK BELONGS TO: REMOVE THE SWORD OF TRAUMA, RECLAIM YOUR STRENGTH AND POWER and LIVE A JOYFUL LIFE. Sign your name here! Written by Angela Shelton. Illustration by James Murray. Layout by TheWindowRoom.com © Copyright Angela Shelton 2008
- 2. WARRIOR WORKSHEET Dear Warrior, I began this workbook after going through my own journey of recovery. I now lead a joyful life and hope you will do the same. You can learn about my story in my film Searching for Angela Shelton and my book Finding Angela Shelton. 2
- 3. WARRIOR WORKSHEET There are sheets like this throughout the workbook. Tear them out if you need to and carry them with you. They are meant to be guideposts for you to discover your inner warrior. There are questions in the blue sections to use in a group setting to inspire conversation. Thank you for using this workbook and for moving into your own healing and/or healing someone else. Love, Angela Shelton 3
- 4. HOW TO USE THIS WORKBOOK: You may use this workbook alone or in a group. Share your answers with friends and supporters to help one another through the process of healing. This workbook can and should be done in stages. Go slowly. The Warrior Worksheets provide a jumping off point for writing. Finish the sentences provided to help you pinpoint insights into yourself and others. Write more in a blank notebook if you need. WARNING: This workbook may bring up intense emotions. It is recommended that you have a therapist present if you are working in a group. If you are working alone, share this with someone you trust and feel safe with such as a therapist, trusted family member or friend. Check out the website, too! This workbook was inspired by Angela Shelton’s speaking events. For information about bringing Angela Shelton to your community please visit http://angelashelton.com/speaking-events 4
- 5. WARRIOR WORKSHEET Use the blank pages to draw, doodle, or rant. 5
- 6. WARRIOR WORKSHEET When beginning a journey of transformation you are faced with many new levels of healing, awareness and wholeness. Now is a time to think about what you are ready for and make a commitment to yourself. What are you ready to receive and what are you willing to let go of? For example if I wanted to be a Goddess, I had to let go of self-hatred because the two did not fit. Just like joy and violence cannot coexist, self-hatred cannot exist when you are living a life you love. What are you ready to receive and what are you willing to give up? If you are ready to receive being a warrior, then you must give up the role of victim. I AM READY TO RECEIVE: I AM WILLING TO LET GO OF: Order this workbook at www.angelashelton.com 6
- 7. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT IS TRAUMA? .Experiencing trauma is like being pierced with a sword. . WHAT ARE SOME TYPES OF TRAUMA? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 7
- 8. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SECRETS? Being pierced with the sword of trauma can leave you silent, frozen in fear, stuck, and in pain. WHY DO PEOPLE SOMETIMES FEEL SAFER BY REMAINING SILENT? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 8
- 9. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I EXPERIENCED PAIN WHEN __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I FEEL ANXIETY WHEN __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I SUFFERED WHEN __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 9
- 10. GROUP QUESTIONS: HOW CAN THE SWORD AFFECT SOMEONE’S LIFE? Being wounded by the sword of trauma can make you quick to anger, depressed, or isolated. HOW DOES THE SWORD KEEP YOU FROM HAVING HEALTHY INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 10
- 11. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I HAVE BEEN KEPT FROM INTIMACY BECAUSE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ WHEN I THINK ABOUT INTIMACY I FEEL __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM SCARED OF __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 11
- 12. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT HEALTH PROBLEMS CAN THE SWORD CAUSE? The sword can cause health problems, including chronic migraines, body aches, nightmares, mental health problems, insomnia, or numbness. HOW DO THE AFFECTS OF TRAUMA SHOW UP IN THE BODY? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 12
- 13. WARRIOR WORKSHEET MY BODY ISSUES ARE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY BODY WHEN __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 13
- 14. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHY IS BREATHING AFFECTED BY TRAUMA? Being wounded makes it hard to breathe deeply. WHAT ARE PEOPLE AFRAID TO SAY OUT LOUD? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 14
- 15. WARRIOR WORKSHEET IF I COULD TALK TO MY BODY, I WOULD SAY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ IF I COULD TALK TO MY PAIN, I WOULD SAY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 15
- 16. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT ARE SOME WAYS THAT YOU CAN IGNORE PAIN? You can live with the sword pierced through you. You can ignore the fact that you are wounded and deal with the symptoms instead of the cause. You have a choice. WHAT SYMPTOMS CAN DISGUISE THE ORIGINAL TRAUMA? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 16
- 17. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I HAVE IGNORED THE PAIN IN MY LIFE BY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I COPE BY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM SILENT ABOUT __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 17
- 18. GROUP QUESTIONS: HOW CAN SOMEONE ELSE’S PAIN AFFECT YOU? You can get into relationships with other people who are wounded. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS WOUNDED? HOW DID THAT AFFECT YOU? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 18
- 19. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH OTHERS’ PAIN BY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ SOMEONE ELSE’S PAIN HAS AFFECTED ME BY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 19
- 20. GROUP QUESTIONS: HOW DOES DENIAL MANIFEST IN THE WORLD? You can live in entire communities that are in pain. Keeping the sword in place is living in denial. Denial is a powerful choice that you have freedom to make. HOW CAN GROUPS OF PEOPLE BE IN DENIAL? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 20
- 21. WARRIOR WORKSHEET DENIAL SHOWS UP IN MY LIFE AS __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I HAVE DEALT WITH DENIAL BY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I HAVE BEEN SILENT ABOUT __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 21
- 22. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT IF YOU WERE PIERCED WITH A SWORD? WHAT FEAR DO YOU HAVE TO FACE? WHAT SECRETS ARE YOU KEEPING? HOW HAVE YOU PERSONALLY BEEN PIERCED WITH THE SWORD? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 22
- 23. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I AM FEARFUL OF __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I FEEL LIKE I CAN’T __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I HAVE BEEN STUCK AND STUNTED BY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 23
- 24. GROUP QUESTIONS: HOW DO YOU AFFECT THE WORLD AROUND YOU? When you see the sword and realize you are wounded, you can also see how you are affecting yourself and the world around you. WHAT IF EVERYTHING YOU DID AFFECTED EVERYTHING ELSE? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 24
- 25. WARRIOR WORKSHEET MY EMOTIONS AFFECT OTHERS WHEN I __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ MY ANGER AFFECTS OTHERS WHEN I __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ MY FEARS AFFECT OTHERS WHEN I __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 25
- 26. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT DID YOU DO AS A CHILD THAT YOU LOVED? You can see that you can live a much healthier life when you remove the sword that wounded you in the first place. TAKE A MOMENT AND GO BACK TO YOUR CHILDHOOD AND FIND ONE HAPPY MEMORY. WHAT MADE YOU GIDDY? HOW CAN YOU HAVE HEALTHY PLAYTIME NOW? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 26
- 27. WARRIOR WORKSHEET WHEN I WAS LITTLE, MY FAVORITE THING TO DO WAS __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I LOSE ALL TRACK OF TIME WHEN I __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I HAVE THE MOST FUN WHEN I __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 27
- 28. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT HAPPENED IN YOUR LIFE THAT CREATED ANY KIND OF PAIN & SUFFERING? What is your trauma? What is your story? WHAT KIND OF RECURRING PAIN AND SUFFERING SHOWS UP IN YOUR LIFE? WHAT DO YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT MOST? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 28
- 29. WARRIOR WORKSHEET WHAT MEMORY AFFECTS YOU THE MOST? How is being wounded keeping you away from joy and happiness? How is the past affecting your life? HOW DOES A PAINFUL EXPERIENCE KEEP YOU FROM JOY AND HAPPINESS? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 29
- 30. WARRIOR WORKSHEET MY STORY IS __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 30
- 32. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHY DOES IT APPEAR TO BE EASIER TO HOLD ONTO OLD TRAUMA? The thought of facing trauma and going through the process of recovery brings up fear. WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF IN ORDER TO MOVE PAST PAIN AND SUFFERING? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 32
- 33. WARRIOR WORKSHEET THE MEMORY THAT HAUNTS ME THE MOST IS __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 33
- 34. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT DO YOU THINK OTHERS ARE SAYING TO THEMSELVES INSIDE THEIR HEADS? You may hear all of your negative thought patterns telling you that you are stupid, worthless, ugly, or nothing. WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE THINGS YOU SAY TO YOURSELF INSIDE YOUR HEAD? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 34
- 35. WARRIOR WORKSHEET EVERY SINGLE NEGATIVE THING I HAVE EVER SAID TO MYSELF IN MY HEAD: __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 35
- 36. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I NEED TO LET GO OF __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM HOLDING ONTO __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM AFRAID TO FACE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 36
- 37. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT IF THE UNKNOWN WAS SUPER FUN AND JOYOUS? The thought of touching your sword can scare you and leave you frozen in fear and not knowing where to begin. WHAT WOULD YOUR LIFE LOOK LIKE IF YOU HAD NO FEAR? WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 37
- 38. WARRIOR WORKSHEET IF I HAD NO FEAR I WOULD __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ IF MONEY WAS NO OBJECT I WOULD __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ LETTING GO OF PAIN MAKES ME NERVOUS BECAUSE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 38
- 39. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT WOULD LIFE BE LIKE IF YOU LEFT YOUR SWORD IN? WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST FEARS ABOUT REMOVING THE SWORD? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 39
- 40. WARRIOR WORKSHEET MY SWORD GIVES ME COMFORT BECAUSE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM FAMILIAR WITH __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ IF I WAS A WARRIOR THEN I WOULD HAVE TO __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 40
- 41. GROUP QUESTIONS: IF YOUR CHILD WAS WOUNDED AND NEEDED STITCHES, HOW WOULD YOU COMFORT THEM? If you were going through surgery you would have to make a plan. You need to make a plan to remove your sword, too. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT A PLAN TO REMOVE YOUR SWORD? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 41
- 42. WARRIOR WORKSHEET MY PLAN TO REMOVE MY SWORD WOULD HAVE TO HAVE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ IF I HAD TO TELL MY CHILD THEY HAD TO HAVE SURGERY, I WOULD SAY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 42
- 43. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHERE DO YOU FEEL SAFE? You need help, support, a place in which to remove it in the safest way possible, and a place to recover. WHERE IS THE FIRST PLACE YOU WOULD GO IF YOU WERE GOING TO REMOVE YOUR SWORD? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 43
- 44. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I FEEL SAFEST WHEN I __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ IF I HAD TO HIDE SOMEWHERE I WOULD GO __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 44
- 45. GROUP QUESTIONS: IF YOUR CHILD WAS ILL AND NEEDED CARE, WHAT KIND OF ACTIONS WOULD YOU TAKE? You need to support system. Make a plan and gather support before removing your sword. WHERE DO YOU GET THE MOST SUPPORT IN YOUR LIFE? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 45
- 46. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I FEEL MOST SUPPORTED BY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ THE PEOPLE WHO ARE MOST HEALTHY FOR ME ARE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 46
- 47. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT IS COMFORTING? Removing your sword is a process that you must ultimately do yourself. Your team is your backup. WHO IS ON YOUR TEAM? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 47
- 48. WARRIOR WORKSHEET IF I NEEDED HELP I WOULD CALL __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I MOST TRUST __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 48
- 49. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHO DO YOU TRUST? Find therapists, support groups, friends, and supportive family members you feel safest with. WHO IN YOUR LIFE DO YOU FEEL THE SAFEST WITH? WHO WOULD YOU CALL IF YOU NEEDED HELP? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 49
- 50. WARRIOR WORKSHEET THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WHO HAVE INSPIRED, HELPED AND SUPPORTED ME ARE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ THE ORGANIZATIONS IN MY AREA ARE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 50
- 51. GROUP QUESTIONS: IS THERE PAIN YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE OR FAMILIAR WITH? Removing the sword hurts and can seem like a daunting task. WHY NOT JUST LEAVE YOUR SWORD IN? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 51
- 52. WARRIOR WORKSHEET IF I REMOVED MY SWORD I WOULD LOSE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM SCARED OF BEING FULFILLED BECAUSE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ IF I WAS LIVING A JOYFUL LIFE THEN I __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 52
- 53. GROUP QUESTIONS: IF YOUR CHILD NEEDED SURGERY TO SAVE THEM, HOW WOULD YOU EASE THEIR FEAR? Sometimes the pain of removing the sword hurts worse than it did going in. WHY MIGHT THE PROCESS OF REMOVING THE SWORD HURT WORSE THAN WHAT PUT IT THERE? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 53
- 54. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO FEEL IN ORDER TO HEAL? In order to heal it, you have to feel it. WHAT IS THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN IF YOU REMOVE YOUR SWORD? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 54
- 55. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY? You may feel rage, pain, fear, anxiety, isolation, and self-hatred among many others. WHAT WORDS COME TO MIND AS YOU THINK ABOUT REMOVING YOUR SWORD? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 55
- 56. WARRIOR WORKSHEET GO ON A RANT. SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT ABOUT WHAT IS COMING UP FOR YOU __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 56
- 58. WAR RIOR WORKSHEET YOU ARE ALLOWEDTOTOMOVE PAST IT. ORDER FEEL PAIN IN Allow yourself the freedom to scream, yell, and cry. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF YOU COULD TALK TO YOUR SWORD AND THE TRAUMA THAT PUT IT THERE? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 58
- 59. WARRIOR WORKSHEET DEAR SWORD, __________________________________________________________________________________ YOU HAVE SERVED ME BY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM GOING TO LET GO OF YOU NOW BECAUSE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 59
- 60. WARRIOR WORKSHEET WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU JUST GAVE UP? It may seem exhausting and overwhelming to remove your sword. WHAT IRRITATES OR UPSETS YOU ABOUT THIS PROCESS? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 60
- 61. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I AM ANNOYED BY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM OVERWHELMED BY __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I GET FRUSTRATED WHEN __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 61
- 62. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I DON’T WANT TO FEEL __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM SICK AND TIRED OF __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 62
- 63. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR SWORD ONCE YOU HAVE IT? Remember that once you face the fear and remove the sword—you will have it ! WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IF YOU HAD NO PAIN OR SUFFERING? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 63
- 64. WARRIOR WORKSHEET IF I HADN’T BEEN THROUGH __________________________________________________________________________________ I WOULD __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ ONCE I HAVE MY SWORD I WANT TO __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 64
- 65. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHY IS WHAT YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT A CLUE TO WHAT YOUR PAIN IS? With your sword out, you may feel sad, empty, depressed, lonely, or just plain dumb. WHAT WILL YOU MISS ABOUT YOUR SWORD? IT IS OK TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE ADDICTION TO IT. __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 65
- 66. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I COMPLAIN MOST ABOUT __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I GET ATTENTION WHEN I TALK ABOUT __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ WHEN I REMOVE MY SWORD I WILL NEED TO LEARN TO __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 66
- 67. GROUP QUESTIONS: WHAT COMFORTING DO CHILDREN NEED AFTER TRAUMA? Now is the time to take care of yourself on all levels-body, mind, and spirit. IF YOU WERE YOUR OWN CHILD, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 67
- 68. WARRIOR WORKSHEET MY INNER CHILD NEEDS __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 68
- 69. WARRIOR WORKSHEET I NEED __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ THE BEST WAY TO CARE FOR ME IS TO __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ TO BE COMFORTED I NEED __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 69
- 70. WARRIOR WORKSHEET WHAT KIND OF TENDERNESS DO YOU NEED? WRITE A LETTER TO YOURSELF. TELL YOURSELF WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IN ORDER TO HEAL. MANY TIMES YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER YOU ARE SEEKING, YOU JUST NEED TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF. __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 70
- 72. WARRIOR WORKSHEET WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL THE MOST COMFORTABLE? With the sword out, you are left with a wound that needs healing. Find and use the things that make you the most comfortable and safe. WHAT ARE THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE? WHAT DOES BEING SAFE LOOK LIKE? __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 72
- 73. WARRIOR WORKSHEET MY SAFEST PLACE LOOKS LIKE 73
- 74. WARRIOR WORKSHEET WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO? Sometimes you may miss your sword, especially if you had it for a long time. WRITE A GOODBYE LETTER TO YOUR PAIN AND SUFFERING. THANK IT FOR SERVING YOU AND WISH IT WELL AS IT LEAVES. __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 74
- 75. WARRIOR WORKSHEET DEAR PAIN AND SUFFERING. __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 75
- 76. WARRIOR WORKSHEET WHAT GOOD PHRASES ARE YOU GOING TO REPLACE THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WITH? Now is the time to replace old negative thought patterns with positive Self-Care and Self-Love. WRITE DOWN ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE OPPOSITE OF EVERY NEGATIVE THOUGHT YOU EVER HAD ABOUT YOURSELF! __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 76
- 77. WARRIOR WORKSHEET ALL THE NEGATIVE THINGS I USED TO SAY TO MYSELF IN MY HEAD ARE REPLACED __________________________________________________________________________________ WITH: __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM CREATIVE __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ I AM BEAUTIFUL __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ 77