Here's what you should bring if you want to attend a town hall meeting about health care, have a nice day with your family and save Grandma.

1. Pringles.

2. Sunscreen.

3. Some duct tape.

4. T-shirts.

5. Something to read.

6. Lunch.

7. Some music.

8. Flair.

9. Two loaded concealed shotguns, a metal storm, a .50 BMG, sixteen rounds, a gatling gun and two Russian F-1s. IT’S MY RIGHT.

10. Racist Obama doll.

11. That whole bag of shit Dick Armey told me to bring.

12. Copy of Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate.

13. Random, confusing patriotic signage unrelated to healthcare.

14. Buck knife.

15. Obama as Joker from Batman sign that doesn't make any sense.

16. A ball to toss around with the kids.

17. Obama as Hitler signs.

18. Homoerotic Hitler imagery you keep in the middle shelf under the '07 tax returns.

19. A funny beard.

20. Something Confederate.

21. A baby to use as a prop when you need to bolster your own faulty argument about healthcare reform and scare people.

22. Swine flu.

23. Misplaced righteous indignation.

24. Hostages.

25. Print-outs of radical left-wing blogs to wave at your Congressman.