1. A Pathway to Success for
Students who Present with
Social Skill Needs
Ryan Wexelblatt, MSS
Camp Sequoia & Sequoia Kids Program
Founder and Director

3. What we hear from parents
• My child is great with adults and younger
children but not with kids his age.
• We were hoping this would improve with age.
• He’s very bright but misses social cues.
• We’ve spent years in therapy but it hasn’t
helped with social skills.
• We’ve put her in activities, camps, etc. but she
hasn’t picked up better social skills from her
peers.

4. What are the questions we need to ask?
• What can we do to help our kids who
present with social learning needs?
• What needs to take priority in order to
help them achieve for success later in
life?

5. What we need to understand
• Social learning needs are a learning issue not a
mental health issue, however the two are
intertwined.
• The foundation of social cognitive challenges and
how can we teach the foundational skills that are
lacking.
• Understand the importance of “learning social” as a
necessity for success in life.
• Understand where this information fits in to
prioritizing the various and often complex needs of
our kids.

6. What is Social Cognition?
• A form of intelligence that for the most part develops
intuitively in neurotypical brains.
• A form of thinking we use whenever we’re sharing space with
other people-we think about their thoughts, intentions,
feelings, motivations and we read their body language, tone
of voice.
• Strong social cognition provides us with the ability to adjust
what we’re saying/doing to keep people thinking about us
positively.
• Social cognition is the ability to think in a social context.

7. The difference between Social Skills and Social Cognition
• Social Skills-The “surface skills” we use when
interacting in social situations to keep people
thinking about us positively (eye contact, shaking
hands, taking turns).
• Social Cognition-What we do when we interact with
people: we think about them. And how we think
about people affects how we behave, which in turn
affects how others respond to us, which in turn
affects our own emotions*
*http://www.socialthinking.com/what-is-social-thinking/introduction

8. How do social cognitive challenges present
• Difficultly with perspective taking
(understanding other’s thoughts, feelings,
intentions, perceptions)
• “Getting the big picture”-Being able to take
various pieces of information together and put
them together in a way that allows one to make
meaning out of what they’re interpreting.

9. How do social cognitive challenges present
• Initiation of language: Entering and ending
conversations and social situations appropriately,
asking for help/clarification.
• Abstract and figurative language
• Understanding and using humor appropriately
• Listening with eyes and brain (what people often
call difficulty reading social cues)

10. The big picture of social cognitive challenges for
persons with ADHD
• Trouble making and keeping friends
• Difficulty processing social information in
the classroom, work and social situations
• Emotional responses to situations that
are immaturely/inappropriately
expressed
What we call needing help with social skills should be called needing help
with improving social cognitive ability.

11. Why kids with ADHD get the short
end of the stick
• The more neurotypical you present to others
the less empathetic and patient they will be
with you.
• Kids with ADHD typically don’t “stand out” in
their physical appearance, speech, etc. thus
they are likely to have people not be
understanding/empathetic of their social
learning needs.

12. How do we assess social cognitive ability?
In order to assess what type of
approach to social learning is required
we need to look beyond diagnostic
labels, IQ scores and academic success
and understand where one falls onto a
social radar system.

13. The Social Radar
• Is used to describe one’s ability to sustain attention to
others and “pick up” the
thoughts, feelings, intentions, motivations of others
(perspective taking ability).
• Progress is relative to each individual and within the level
they fall in the radar. There is no moving up to another level
on the social radar.

14. Social cognitive ability has very little to do with
academic ability
• Many highly intelligent people have significant
social learning needs.
• Academic success, advanced degrees, or high test
scores do not guarantee success in life.
• How many people have you met who are
highly intelligent/have advanced degrees yet
seem to lack social skills?

15. What teaching social cognition is
Instruction in these core foundational skills:
• Initiation of language (entering social situations appropriately)
• Listening with eyes and brain
• Abstract and Inferential Language
• Understanding perspective
• Getting the big picture
• Humor
*Michelle Garcia Winner’s ILAUGH Model of Social Thinking™

16. What learning social is not
• Rote memorization of “surface skills”
• A skill set that can be “picked up” by being
around neurotypical peers.
• Something that can be learned by receiving
expected rewards for using appropriate
“surface skills”.
• Something that you’re ever too old to start!

17. What can we do we help to improve Social Cognition?
• Teach how to think in a social context by starting
at the root of social learning deficits.
• In the vast majority of cases this will need to start
with developing perspective taking skills and
ability to “get the big picture” (gestalt
processing).

18. What can you do to help improve social cognition:
Learning to use “whole body listening*”
• The concept that listening requires you to pay attention to
someone’s words, eyes and body language (your brain and
body need to be in the group when you’re with other
people).
• Teach how to be attentive to where other people’s eyes
and body are facing. Can you tell if their brain is part of
the group based on where their eyes and body are facing?
*From Michelle Garcia Winner’s Social Thinking™ material.

19. What can you do to help improve social cognition:
Developing perspective taking ability
• Teach the concept that whenever you are sharing
space with people they are having thoughts about
you.
• We can help other people to have good thoughts
about us or uncomfortable thoughts based on what
we say and do.
• In order to make and keep friends we need to always
be thinking about what would make other kids want
to be around us or not want to be around us.
• Our thoughts and feelings are not “right” while other
people’s are “wrong”.

20. Terms used to help teach perspective
• Expected behaviors: Things we do or say that
cause people to have good thoughts about us.
• Unexpected behaviors: Things we do or say
that cause people to have uncomfortable
thoughts about us.
*From Michelle Garcia Winner’s Social Thinking™ material.

21. What can you do to help improve social cognition:
Praise and point out the “expected behaviors”
Point out any time behaviors are being used that would
help other’s have good thoughts.
They include:
asking appropriate questions about someone else
having a reciprocal conversation
using a flexible brain
speaking in the right tone of voice for the situation
initiating/exiting appropriately with others
emotional responses that are age-appropriate for the
situation
listening with eyes, ears and brain (whole body listening)

22. What can you do to help improve social cognition:
Perspective taking:
Being a “thinking of you kid” vs. a “just me kid”
• In order for other kids to want to be around us we
need to understand their thoughts and feelings.
When we think about other’s thoughts and feelings
we are being a “thinking of you kid”.
• When we are only thinking about our own thoughts
and feelings we are being a “just me kid”.
• Cognitive flexibility is typically based on one’s ability
to understand the perspective of others.

23. What can you do to help improve social cognition:
Becoming a social observer
• This involves being able to pay attention to social
situations and learning to figure out what’s
happening by making a “smart guess” based on the
information you gather.
• Observe groups of kids and ask what they think the
kids are feeling, can you tell anything about their
interests from what you see, what might they be
talking about, do they they seem open to someone
new coming into the situation?

24. What can you do to help improve social cognition:
Take advantage of teachable moments
• Address things in the moment, not 5 hours
later when something's no longer relevant.
• The more we can do to provide instruction
and guidance in the social learning process in
various environments the more effective it will
be.

25. What can you do to help improve social cognition:
Teach personal accountability
• You have the ability to influence how other kids think
about you.
• If other kids don’t want to be around you there’s
something you need to do differently, not expect everyone
else to change.
• If other kids are not being nice to you, think about what
kind of thoughts they’re having about you. What are you
doing to make them have uncomfortable thoughts?
Teaching social is also teaching accountability

26. The reality of social cognitive skill development
• Improvement in social cognition won’t just
happen by being around neurotypical peers.
• Improvement is a long, slow process that
comes easier to some people than others.
• Maturity helps but isn’t the cure.
• Academic strength or superior cognitive ability
do not equate to improvement in social
cognitive ability.

27. The problem with “peer modeling”
• Students with social learning needs are born with
weak social observational skills to begin with. This is
why we need to teach how to become a social
observer.
• The learning gaps in people with social learning
needs need to be taught, we can’t expect kids to
figure out these skills on their own and be able to
compensate for their weaknesses.

28. Common reactions kids have to working on social
• I don’t need this stuff I’m going to be a video
game designer.
• I have friends, I sit with them at lunch.
• My friends are from Xbox, Facebook, etc.
• Those kids have problems, not as smart as me,
are weird. I’m not like them.
• This is stupid, I know this stuff already.

29. Where parents get stuck
• Our child doesn’t fit in with kids who have
Asperger’s, high-functioning autism, etc.
• His self-esteem is too fragile, we don’t want him to
feel like something is wrong with him.
• All the other kids “look” different that her so it’s not
the right peer group for her.
• I only want him to be around kids who are
neurotypical and he does as well.

30. Your home is not a democracy when it comes to working on social
• Kids can be resistant to learning social because it
can bring up feelings of inadequacy and isn’t as
concrete as learning math, science etc.
• Understand what your child’s negativity is aboutmost likely it’s about having to do something
challenging that brings them out of their comfort
zone.
• Interacting through a computer screen/video
game system is not learning social.

31. But we have so many issues to deal with!
•
•
•
•
•
•
Executive functioning skills
Social learning needs
Inattentiveness
Managing behavior at home
Homework
Diet, hygiene..the list goes on
The question becomes where do we start and
what needs to take precedence?

32. The pyramid to addressing the complex needs of children who
present with social-cognitive challenges
Academic
Skills
Independent Skills
Social Thinking Skills and
Socially Related Skills
Mental Health Needs

33. Mental Health Needs
• There needs to be a level of emotional stability that
allows for the learning process to occur.
• Consistent medication management is essential.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has shown good
results in treating a wide range of symptoms and can
be a great treatment modality for people with social
learning needs.

34. Why is social the 2nd level of the pyramid?
• In order to be part of a group (academic,
social, career) you need to be able to
understand and attend to other’s
perspectives.
• Academic subjects like literature, social
studies etc require perspective taking skills.
• If you have difficulty with social cognition
you’re at risk for having difficulty with higher
education and employment.

35. Social Cognition and Sexuality:
The most difficult area of social learning to discuss
• Students with social learning needs often “miss”
the information taught in health/sex ed classes.
• The social aspects of subjects such as hygiene,
puberty, sexuality are typically not addressed as
this information is designed for students who do
not have social learning needs.
• Developing an understanding of both the spoken
and unspoken rules around these topics is critical.

36. Independent Skills:
The life skills that are necessary to develop autonomy and manage
tasks independently
• It’s important to assess what your child could be
doing for themselves that you’re still doing for them.
• Lacking independent skills can have significant
implications in college and post-high school.
• Developing independent skills builds self-confidence and
empowers one to take on more challenging independent
tasks.

37. Executive Functioning Skills
• Executive functioning skills describe the cognitive
processes that involve planning, organizing, problem
solving, play skills, and much more.
• Executive functioning skills run parallel to the entire
pyramid as they have a relevant connection to each
level.
• It is clearly possible to be successful in life with deficits
in executive functioning skills.

38. Academic Skills
• Our educational culture views test scores and grades
as an indicator of future success in life.
• Success in college requires competencies in:
navigating the social world, being able to manage
multiple tasks independently, being able to
plan, organize and advocate for oneself.
(Social, indepdendent and executive functioning
skills).

39. Be realistic about your expectations regarding
improving social cognition
• No formal programs exist in higher education to
teach social cognition, you have to seek out the
information on your own.
• Developing social cognition is a very slow process
that involves building blocks to learning.
• Maturity helps but isn’t the cure.
• As kids gets older, social expectations increase and
become more abstract.

40. Key Points
• Stable mental health, social cognitive ability,
independent skills and strategies to
compensate for executive functioning
challenges are more important for success
later in life than grades and test scores for
persons with ADHD.
• Social expectations increase and become
more abstract with age. These skills need to
be taught and can’t be “picked up” by most
people who have social learning needs.

41. Key Points continued
• We need to enable independence, not create
overdependence.
And most importantly…It’s never too late to
start working on any of these areas!

42. Resources
Visit the Social Thinking website for a
comprehensive list of books and materials
relevant to the topic of improving social
cognition and to learn more in depth about
this approach we use at Camp Sequoia and
Sequoia Kids Program.
www.socialthinking.com
Emotional Regulation: Leah Kuyper’s Zones of Regulation

43. Thank You
Ryan Wexelblatt, MSS
Camp Sequoia/Sequoia Kids Program
Web: www.camp-sequoia.com
Email: ryan@camp-sequoia.com
Ryan’s Blog: www.ryanwexelblatt.com
Phone: 610-771-0111
Facebook and Twitter: camp sequoia