1. Mature Character 2. Loving Relationships & Family 3. Contribution to Society
1. Time of maturing of character for marriage and parenthood. 2. Springtime of life for youth. Youth Idealistic, sensitive, romantic and passionate. Need guidance and protection
“ Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of one’s capacity to love.” Source: Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
Romance by itself Insufficient foundation for the enduring love needed to sustain marriages and families
1. Includes sexual attraction Rooted in instinctual and unconscious forces 2. Transient stage 3. Lasting intimacy, freedom and joy takes time and investment
1. Emphasis on receiving 2. Focus on external traits 3. Starts and ends quickly 4. Separation and time weaken partner’s bond 1. Emphasis on giving 2. Focus on internal traits 3. Grows steadily 4. Separation and time deepen partner’s bond
5. Quarrels increase in frequency and severity 6. Partners are more self-absorbed and less productive 5. Quarrels are better resolved over time 6. Partners become better people and more productive
1. Involvement & Investment 2. Bonding power 3. Develop affection 4. Revive a relationship
Caution and wisdom needed because of the bonding power of love
1. Loving has purpose and direction Grounded in heart & conscience Purpose determines depth of love 2. Love is grounded in ethical standards beyond the personal relationship
1. Mature character Discernment and self-control 2. Constant caring investment Communication Mutual support and service Shared interests and activities Forgiveness and making amends 3. Shared ethical values Beyond mutual gratification Connected to community
1. Looking for love 2. Seeking acceptance From partner From peers 3. Proving one’s manhood or womanhood
1. Physical experience alone does not satisfy the emotional need 2. Love blossoms only in the context of long-term commitment
1. Does not prove adulthood 2. Does not prove manhood or womanhood
1. Psychological damage and problems for future marriage can afflict either men or women Even if disease and pregnancy are prevented Can have lifelong impact
1. Regret 2. Heartbreak 3. Guilt and shame 4. Stunted personal growth 5. Loss of self-respect 6. Fear of commitment Source: Thomas Lickona,“The Neglected Heart,” American Educator, 1994
7. Anxiety over possible pregnancy and disease 8. Rage over betrayal 9. Corruption ofcharacter 10. Depression and suicide Source: Thomas Lickona, “The Neglected Heart,” American Educator, 1994
1. Stimulates selfishness 2. Creates possessiveness 3. Inhibits communication
1. If married later, greater likelihood of divorce 2. Increased conflict and poorer communication 3. Greater risk of violence to women 7 times the risk of assault by boy friends than by husbands Source: National Crime Victimization Survey, US Department of Justice, 1992
1. Comparison to past partners 2. Tendency towards infidelity 3. Transmission of STDs 4. Greater likelihood of divorce
“ Sex is most joyful and fulfilling - most emotionally safe as well as physically safe - when it occurs within a loving, total and binding commitment...[as in] marriage... the union of two person’s lives.” Source: Thomas Lickona, American Educator, Educating for Character
Teenage children are unable to connect sex with love Jean Piaget Adolescents are unable to think in terms of the future Lawrence Kohlberg Having sex before the heart is developed leads to problems with intimacy later Victor Frankl
Any position in life depends on meeting certain criteria The qualification for sex is maturity and marriage
Temptation of Sexual Love
Temptation of Sexual Love
Normal & healthy Controlling it is normal & healthy
1. Protection of the heart, conscience and body 2. Opportunity to develop character 3. Freedom to develop other friendships 4. Training for fidelity 5. Less chance of divorce
1. Greatest gift to show sincerity 2. Freedom to learn the art of loving together 3. Freedom from comparisons to past lovers 4. Less chance of divorce 5. Training for fidelity
Sexual Attractiveness
1. Caring 2. Honesty 3. Trust 4. Fidelity 5. Commitment 6. Sense of sacrifice 7. Sexual satisfaction
Less Successful Focus on Outer Traits Sexual attractiveness Economic potential Social status More Successful Focus on Inner Traits Character Core beliefs & values
1. Strengthen personal integrity 2. Practice filial piety 3. Cultivate respect and appreciation for the opposite sex 4. Practice being a true friend 5. Deepen the heart through service 6. Maintain sexual purity
1. Clear sense of moral values 2. Living up to one’s moral convictions 3. Self-discipline and delayed gratification
Love and honor one’s parents Cultivation of loyalty Springboard to all forms of love
1. Relate to them as siblings or close relatives 2. Respect gender qualities Within family and friends Show modesty in attitude and appearance
1. Practice loyalty, cooperation, support and honesty 2. Make friends with various people of good character Different personalities Elder and younger Male and female
1. Sexual compulsions 2. Poor relationships with elders and friends
Opportunities to learn about giving and selflessness To give is to receive Love involves effort
Cultivates empathy Fosters sense of self worth Sharpens relational and parenting skills Broadens base of friendship
1. Essential to maturity 2. Positive, practical, achievable lifestyle
1. Recognize how one is possibly being manipulated 2. Maintain self-respect and self-control to resist stimulation 3. Know how to handle an emotional situation
1. Recognize the profit motive 2. Check with reality Media images do not correspond to real life 3. Develop media literacy
Large numbers are making the commitment to save sex until marriage
1. Opportunity to regain a sense of self-worth 2. Best option for those disillusioned with premarital sex
The pure relationship of love between a man and a woman is a sacred trust to be cherished and honored, for the sake of building a true family, a healthy nation, and a world of peace. Once that love is consummated, it should never be broken.