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Similar a Family Session 4 Meta-Moment - Spanish.pptx
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Family Session 4 Meta-Moment - Spanish.pptx
- 1. The Meta-Moment La Meta-Momento ei.yale.edu | ruler.yale.edu TWITTER: @rulerapproach | FACEBOOK: the RULER approach RULER for Families Emotionally Intelligent Parenting
- 2. AGENDA / AGENDA In this workshop, you will learn about: En este taller aprenderá: • How thoughts and feelings influence how we respond to big/intense feelings / Como pensamientos y sentidos influye como respondemos a un gran sensación • What we can do to manage big feelings and to teach our children to manage big feelings / Que podemos hacer para manejar nuestros sentimientos y ensenarles a nuestros hijo(a)s como manejar los suyos • The 6 steps of the Meta-Moment • Taking a Proactive Meta-Moment • We will leave with a plan for a Proactive Meta-Moment for one of our triggers
- 3. AGENDA cont. / AGENDA cont. In this workshop, you will learn about: En este taller aprenderá: • The 6 steps of the Meta-Moment / Los 6 pasos del Meta- Momento • Taking a Proactive Meta-Moment / Tomar un Meta- Momento productivo • We will leave with a plan for a Proactive Meta-Moment for one of our triggers / Salir con un plan de Meta- Momento productivo cuando algo pasa
- 4. GUIDELINES & GROUND RULES / GUILAS • Sharing encouraged! / Queremos que comparten • Confidentiality / Discreción • Feelings / Sentimientos • Norms / Normas • Fun! / Disértense
- 5. What is Emotional Intelligence? Recognizing emotions in self and others. Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions. Labeling emotions accurately. Expressing emotions appropriately. Regulating emotions effectively.
- 6. WHY EMOTIONS MATTER IN FAMILIES Las sentimientos son importantes a familias Emotions influence / Emociones influyen: • Attention, memory, and learning / Atención, memoria, y aprendizaje • Decision making and judgment / Tomar buenas decisiones y opinión • Relationship quality / Calidad de la relación • Physical and mental health / Salud física y mental
- 7. Preparing children for life’s challenges: Managing unpleasant emotions Preparando los niño(a)s de los retos de la vida: Manejando las emociones desagradables
- 9. “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” “Entre el estímulo y la respuesta, hay un espacio. En ese espacio reside nuestra libertad y poder para elegir una respuesta. En nuestras respuesta reside nuestro crecimiento y libertad.” Viktor E. Frankl
- 11. 1. Something happens 1. Algo pasa 2. Sense 2. Lo sientes 3. Stop 3. Stop 4. See your best self 4. Visualiza tu mejor yo 5. Strategize 5. Escoge una estrategia 6. Success 6. Triunfa
- 12. STEP 1: SOMETHING HAPPENS / PASO 1 : ALGO PASA Something real or imagined triggers an emotional experience Algo real o imaginario pasa que causa una experiencia emocional 1. Something happens 1. Algo pasa 2. Sense 2. Lo sientes
- 13. STEP 2: SENSE / PASO 2: LO SIENTES You sense the shifts in: Sientes el cambio en: • How you are thinking / Como piensas “They are all judging me.” “Me están juzgando” • How your body feels on the inside / Como tu cuerpo se siente Racing heart, tension / Tu corazón delata rápido, tención • Your facial expressions, posture, and voice / Tu cara, postura, u voces Furrowed eyebrows, clenched fist / levantas la ceja y haces un puño This is your cue to take a Meta-Moment! 2. Sense 2. Lo sientes
- 14. META-MOMENT EMOTIONS / SENTIMIENTOS META-MOMENTO Emotion Sentimeiento Thought Pensamiento Body Cuerpo Expression Expresión Anger Enojado Perception of unfairness, injustice/ Presientas una injusticia Heart races, body heats up and tightens / Tu corazón delata rápido, tención Furrowed brows, pressed lips, clenched fists / levantas la ceja y haces un puño
- 15. Group Activity: “Something Happens” / Actividad de Grupo: “Algo Pasa” With a partner (or small group), brainstorm as many triggers as you can think of that might happen during a typical day with your family. Con alguien (o en grupo pequeño), piensen en cosas que les podrá molestar durante un día normal con tu familia. frustrated Angry irate agitated furious aggressive resentful hostile enraged livid ANNOYED
- 16. STEP 3: STOP / PASO 3: STOP Breathing and pausing help you to avoid responding in an unhelpful manner Te paras y te concentras en tu respiración para evitar ser sobrepasados por las emociones. Basic “stop” exercises: Ejercicios Basicos de “stop” •Take a few deep breaths / Respira profundamente •Say a simple mantra / di algo como • (e.g., in/out adentro/afuera, deep/slow profundo/despacio)
- 17. STEP 4: SEE YOUR BEST SELF / PASO 4: VISUALIZA TU MEJOR YO Imagine your best self. Visualiza tu mejor tu What qualities do you possess when you are at your best? ¿Cuales son calidades que tu tienes cuando eres tu mejor tu? Remember: Your best self is different in different roles! 1. Who you want to be / Quien quieres ser 1. How you want others to see you (your reputation) / Como quieres que otros te vean 1. The ideal outcome / resulatado positivo 2. See your best self 2. Visualiza tu mejor yo
- 18. MY BEST SELF AS A PARENT / MI MEJOR YO COMO PADRE
- 19. STEP 5: STRATEGIZE / PASO 5: ESCOGE UNA ESTRATEGIA You choose and then use a strategy – either a thought or an action – to regulate the emotion effectively Escoges y usas una estrategia – un pensamiento o acción – para manejar tus emociones efectivamente 5. Strategize 5. Escoge una estrategia
- 20. QUICK AND EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES / ESTRATEJIAS RAPIDOS Y EFECTIVOS • Breathing / Respirando • Mindfulness/Relaxation Conciencia plena / Relajo • Reframing* / Pensar de otra forma • Positive self-talk* / Hablar con si mismo en forma positiva • Visualization / Visualizar • Distraction / Distracción • Physical space/distance Espacio físico/distancia
- 21. Reframing - How else can I choose to think about this? / ¿En que otra forma puedo pensar en esto? Reminding yourself of your child’s point of view; Asking yourself: How else can I think about this? Recordar el punto de vista de su hijo(a): ¿En que otra forma puedo pensar en esto? “It’s been snowing all week and they haven’t been able to go outside.” “Ha estado nevando toda la semana y no han salido afuera.” Putting a positive spin on how you see the situation / Cambiar el punto de vista en forma positiva: “I’m so grateful for my husband’s support, he just couldn’t be there for me today.” “ Estoy muy agradecida por el apoyo de mi esposo, desafortunadamente no pudo estar hoy.”
- 22. POSITIVE SELF-TALK / HABLAR CON SI MISMO EN FORMA POSITIVA Telling yourself something helpful: Decirte algo que te ayude: “My children are learning how to get along. Those are valuable lessons. (In response to sibling conflict).” “Mi hijo(a) esta aprendiendo como convivir con los demás. Eso es una ventaja. (Respuesta cuando hermanos están peleando) “Forgot his homework again, looks like he needs some help with morning routines.” “Se le olvido su tarea otra ves, tal vez necesita ayuda con su rutina en la mañana.” “This too shall pass.” “Esto también pasara.”
- 23. STEP 6: SUCCEED! / PASO 6: TRIUNFA You act in a way that reflects your best self Tu comportamiento es reflejo de tu mejor yo 6. Succeed 6. Triunfa
- 24. 1. Something happens 1. Algo pasa 2. Sense 2. Lo sientes 3. Stop 3. Stop 4. See your best self 4. Visualiza tu mejor yo 5. Strategize 5. Escoge una estrategia 6. Success 6. Triunfa
- 25. TWO TYPES OF META-MOMENTS / DOS TIPOS DE META-MOMENTO • Responsive / Reacciona • Real time / tiempo real • Taking a Meta-Moment after something happens / Tomar un Meta-Momento después que paso algo • Proactive / Proactivo • Looking ahead / Pensar en el futuro • Taking a Meta-Moment before an emotional response occurs / Tomar un Meta-Momento antes que paso algo
- 26. ACTIVITY/ ACTIVIDAD PROACTIVE ACTION PLAN PLAN DE ACION PROACTIVO
- 27. SET AN INTENTION / TENER UNA INTENCION What can you do differently the next time you are triggered? ¿Que puedes hacer diferente la próxima ves que algo pase? What can you think? ¿Que puedes pensar? What can you do? ¿Que puedes hacer? …to be your best self? …para ser tu mejor yo? …to encourage children in your family to be their best selves? …para apoyar tus hijo(a)s en tu familia a ser tu mejor yo?
- 28. Visualization / Visualizar Now imagine going through a parenting challenge as your best self Ahora imagina tepasando por un reto de ser papa pero en tu mjejor yo 6. Success 6. Triunfa
- 29. What are your key takeaways? ¿Que es una ventaja de hoy?
- 30. Copyright © 2013 Yale University All rights reserved. This publication may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission from Yale University. Contact Information ei.yale.edu | ruler.yale.edu TWITTER: @rulerapproach FACEBOOK: the RULER approach QUESTIONS AND THANKS!
Notas del editor
- TOTAL TIME: 78 minutes TIME: 1 minute PURPOSE: Introduce Ourselves and: Greet participants with warmth and enthusiasm as they enter the venue. Introduce yourself. (Provide a 30-second relevant bio.) Please use examples and stories that will be culturally responsive and relevant to your group. PREPARATION (Arrive at least 30 minutes before and KNOW your venue): Determine whether the facility and setup are better for pair-sharing (e.g., an auditorium) or small group sharing (e.g., table groups). Use these throughout the program. Ensure all materials are ready and available to accommodate number of parents (or families) you are expecting to attend Pace yourself to allow enough time for each part of the workshop MATERIALS NEEDED: Large Flip Chart, White or Chalk Board, Markers, Chalk Handouts: 1-Six Steps of Meta Moment 2-Proactive Meta Moment Worksheet 3-RULER SKILLS and Anchor Overview 4-List of Effective and Ineffective Strategies
- TIME: I minute PURPOSE: Share agenda for workshop ASK: parents to share what grades their children are in. DO: Read Agenda. BIG feelings – Define big feelings: unpleasant feelings with a lot of energy, RED (frustration, anger, anxious) and BLUE (disappointed, lonely, excluded) Managing BIG Feelings The 6 Steps of the Meta Moment Taking a Proactive Meta Moment SAY: What we mean by Pro Active is anticipating those times where strong feelings might emerge and planning ahead with strategies to deal with those feelings.
- TIME: I minute PURPOSE: Share agenda for workshop ASK: parents to share what grades their children are in. DO: Read Agenda. BIG feelings – Define big feelings: unpleasant feelings with a lot of energy, RED (frustration, anger, anxious) and BLUE (disappointed, lonely, excluded) Managing BIG Feelings The 6 Steps of the Meta Moment Taking a Proactive Meta Moment SAY: What we mean by Pro Active is anticipating those times where strong feelings might emerge and planning ahead with strategies to deal with those feelings.
- TIME: 1 minute PURPOSE: Share Guidelines & Ground Rules DO: Review the guidelines 1.Sharing: Let participants know that they will benefit greatly from sharing stories, but it is not required. 2. Confidentiality: What’s said in the room, stays in the room! Please respect each other’s privacy by being mindful about using names. 3. Feelings: When we talk about feelings, we often feel feelings – and that’s okay – as long as we respect each other when expressing those feelings. 4. Norms: Share method for coming together after break outs (e.g. hand raise) 5. Fun!
- TIME: 3 minutes PURPOSE: to review the 5 skills of emotional intelligence SAY: RULER is an acronym for 5 inter-related skills, which are the building blocks of emotional intelligence. Our School program is based on years of research and is called RULER. Recognizing emotions in oneself and others - to obtain valuable information about the environment and about how you are interpreting & Identifying emotion in oneself and others by noticing facial expressions, body language, vocal tones, and physiology. (Facilitator - Give a parent-child example) Understanding the causes and consequences of your own and your children’s emotions to predict behavior. Knowing the causes and consequences of emotions, including the influence of different emotions on thinking, learning, decisions, and behavior.(Facilitator – Give example) Labeling emotions to describe feelings precisely and accurately is important for knowing what actions to take, what strategies to use. Naming it helps you organize the feeling internally. When we feel a lot of emotion and we don’t know what it is, it’s hard to know how to work with it. Expressing – EMOTIONS IN SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE WAYS – right person, right time, right way Facilitator give example from own childhood, (For example, Mom expressive/unregulated, dad stoic, anger not to be expressed. The focus was less on understanding how we felt and more on controlling behavior. It would have helped if our family was more comfortable with the full range of emotions, and we learned constructive ways of expressing them) Regulating –the premier skill of all, the ability to manage your emotions. In general, how many children have skills to manage their emotions? How many of us were taught skills to manage all of the emotions we feel each day? (Saying “calm down” doesn’t teach you strategies for managing your emotions. To regulate, you need to know whether you want to feel more, less, or the same of the emotion you are experiencing in order to achieve your goals, then have the strategies for managing them. The Meta Moment is particularly helpful with managing unpleasant emotions with a lot of energy. RED
- TIME: 2 min PURPOSE: to explain why emotions matter *NOTE: Provide examples for each that connect with parents’ experiences (consider the specific families in the room) SAY: Emotions drive attention, memory, and learning. Have you ever tried to pay attention to something when you’re really anxious? How was that? Was it difficult? If your children come to you for homework help and you are distracted by some disturbing news, how does that affect your interaction? Emotions drive decision making. “Has anyone here ever made a bad decision?” We consult our emotions when making decisions. Does it “feel” right? Different mood states facilitate different types of decision making. How does waking up after a poor night’s sleep affect deciding what to do with your children on a weekend? When you’re angry, how handle a situation with your child, verses how you might handle it when you’re in a peaceful, content mood. Emotions impact relationships. People like to be around people who are more positive. Research has found that emotionally skilled children have better quality friendships, are more skilled socially, and are viewed as leaders by their teachers. Emotionally skilled parents experience more positive emotions and have better relationships with their children. Emotions influence health: In particular, how we manage our emotions. Emotionally skilled children have less anxiety, depression, and hyperactivity. Many health-related illness are a result of poor emotion regulation. Isn’t that what we want for our children – better health?
- TIME: 1 min PURPOSE: to explain the importance of learning how to manage unpleasant emotions (RED and BLUE) SAY: One of the major roles of parenting is to support children in learning how to manage red and blue feelings. RED feelings are particularly challenging because when we are in the RED, we are no longer able to use our thinking brain, our emotions can derail or “hijack” us. The Meta-Moment is one of the RULER Anchor tools that helps adults and children to learn positive ways to manage these feelings and come up with solutions that will keep us connected to those important people in our world and help us achieve our goals. ASK: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could send your children into the world with a tool that helps them to come up with strategies to deal with anger, frustration, disappointment, fear?
- TIME: 1 minute PURPOSE: to create motivation for wanting to learn about the Meta Moment SAY: Thinking back on your day -- Do you ever look like this person? Have your children ever looked like this? When you look and feel like this person, what might be happening in your body? What might you be thinking? It just might be time to take a Meta-Moment. ASK: Why might it be ineffective to deal with a problem when we are in this feeling state? When we are in the RED? Can you think straight when you are in this state? Why might our children not be able to hear us and think about what we are saying if they are in this feeling state? SAY: We’re introducing another RULER Anchor Tool – the Meta-Moment. Meta-Moments help us practice the final R in RULER– regulating – and especially regulating red feelings. Who would like to be more skilled in managing intense emotions? Who wishes everyone else was more skilled at handling their intense emotions?
- TIME: 2 minutes PURPOSE: To create a personal connection with the words of Viktor Frankl ASK for 1 or 2 volunteers to read the quote out loud. SAY: Viktor Frankl was a psychologist who was captured by the Nazis and placed in a concentration camp. This quote is from his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. ASK : for a few participants to share what the quote means to them. Most respond with something like, “we have a choice in how we respond.” SAY: Meta-Moments create that space in time that gives us an opportunity to recognize and regulate our emotions. Taking Meta Moments gives our children the opportunity to learn how to manage their BIG emotions by watching how we handle ours, how we MODEL these skills
- TIME: 3 minutes PURPOSE: to explain how emotions can hurt or help us SAY: Research shows that: Emotions can hurt us or help us: When something happens (point to first image) and we let our emotions take control, they can derail us from our personal and professional goals. When we manage our emotions effectively, we can focus, learn, problem solve, enjoy relationships, and deal with life’s ups and downs. We all have emotions – and there are times when we all feel this way (indicate picture 2). If we react quickly and automatically in this moment, we might use an ineffective response. Taking a Meta-Moment (what we will be talking about today), helps us use that space in time between something happening and our response to manage our emotions effectively and respond successfully. VISUALIZATION: Take a moment and think back to your childhood. Can you remember having a family member who looked like this (indicate picture 2) – a family member who needed to take Meta-Moments? *What was that family member like? How did that family member behave? What did that family member say? How did you feel? What was it like to be around him/her? SAY: Isn’t it amazing how one negative moment can stay with us for 10… 20… 30… years? Now think of a family member you spent time with who regulated emotions well. How did it feel to spend time with that family member? Wouldn‘t it be nice if in 20 years, when your children are in the position you are in now – their memories of you will be like your memories of the second person you remembered? SAY: So let’s talk about the steps involved in taking a Meta-Moment to move us from this (first image) to this (last image)
- TIME: 3 minutes PURPOSE: to briefly introduce the 6 steps of the Meta Moment and share a personal story for context DO: As the facilitator, share a 2-3 minute personal story about a time when you were in the red and needed to calm down to handle the situation. Choose a family-focused example. Think about an appropriate time you were triggered. Be prepared to share the thoughts going through your head, how your body was feeling, how you calmed down, what your best self looked like, what strategies you used (or could have used) and how you were successful SAY: Definition: The Meta-Moment is the time between when you feel something and when you do something. This process helps us use that space to make a choice that will be effective, that will more likely have the outcome that we desire. Taking a Meta-Moment is invaluable when you need to control your impulses, want to shift your mood and strategize a solution that is more thoughtful (aligned with your values and beliefs) There are SIX Steps to taking a Meta-Moment, although in real time it happens very quickly. 3. DO: Read the steps briefly and let participants know that you will be taking them through the entire process. *NOTE: 1. Parents might argue that they don’t have time for Meta-Moments. What most people don’t realize is how much time they spend each day dealing with their own and others’ emotions and picking up the pieces after an ineffective response.
- TIME: 3 minutes PURPOSE: Explain Step 1 SAY: Let’s talk about what it means to take a Meta-Moment. Something Happens: You recognize something in the environment that is ‘wrong’ (i.e., trigger or stimulus). These triggers can be a result of a thought (e.g., your anticipation about an upcoming difficult situation or person), a person’s action (e.g., someone says something to hurt your feelings.), a place (e.g., returning to your hometown), an event (e.g., having to face the holidays without a loved one) For example: Connect back to the personal story shared in previous slide, as an example (so as I shared, when my aunt ... I felt humiliated and angry)
- TIME: 4 minutes PURPOSE: Explain Step 2 SAY: Step 2: “Sense.” You recognize that a change has occurred in your body, mind, and/or behavior. Noticing this reaction is your signal to take a Meta-Moment. This is where using the Mood Meter regularly can be helpful because you notice, for example, that you are now in the red. Questions that help us to figure out how we are feeling include: How does your body feel? What are you thinking about? How are you acting? SAY: For example, in my story: Connect this to the personal story, in a sentence. ASK: Are children able to “sense”? How do you think they might learn? (e.g. drawing attention to facial features, tone of voice, heart rate in parents, television and literary characters)
- TIME: 3 minutes PURPOSE: Using two emotions to demonstrate thought, body, expression 1. SAY Here are two examples of emotions that lend themselves to the Meta-Moment. 2. ASK Where are ‘anger’ and ‘anxiety’ on the Mood Meter? 3. RESPOND Yes, RED. They are feelings that are unpleasant with lots of energy. 4. DO: Read the slide and highlight how the emotions are experienced in our thoughts, bodies and expressions. SAY: The U in RULER is for understanding the causes of emotions Ask yourself, why am I getting angry (or anxious)? What happened to make me feel this way? How are my thoughts contributing to the feeling I’m experiencing? SAY: For example in my personal story: Use your personal story to demonstrate how your thoughts were causing your feelings.
- TIME: 5 minutes PURPOSE: to pair share/small group share typical triggers for RED feelings ACTIVITY: Have participants pair share or work in a small group to brainstorm as many triggers that happen in a typical day ASK Participants to share triggers with larger group SAY: We will be returning to these triggers soon
- TIME: 5 minutes PURPOSE: Explain Step 3 SAY: Taking three deep breaths counteracts the physiological response that ‘cortisol’, the stress hormone creates. It calms our body and also opens up our “thinking” brain. When we experience RED emotions these put us in survival mode. We respond with the ‘fight or flight or freeze’ response and our thinking brain is shut down, we are not able to think of multiple solutions and make sound decisions. In that moment when something happens and you sense those shifts in your body – that’s not the moment to start problem-solving and strategizing. What happens to our brains when we have those intense emotions? We don’t think straight. We’re all stirred up. DO: Use the glitter ball to demonstrate. (note: this is a special object you may not have, but it is effective as a demonstration tool. The ball has glitter inside of it, and when you shake it, it serves to illustrate “our brain on cortisol” A snow-globe would work or you may have something else. If not, it’s fine.) SAY: You need to notice and recognize when your body feels like this SENSE – and stop yourself. BREATHE To be able to move forward effectively, we have to STOP, calm down, and clear our head. SAY and DO: Let’s stand up and take a few belly breaths all together. Breathe in through your nose and out your mouth slowly to the count of 6. Let’s take 3. ASK: How do you feel after taking 3 deep, slow breaths? **Now that you’re calm, we can think. And the first thing we’re going to think about is your Best Self. Who is your Best Self in this role?
- TIME: 3 minutes PURPOSE: To explain Step 4 SAY Now that you can think more clearly and are calmer, the fourth step in the meta-moment process is to “See your best self.” Here is where we consider how our “ideal” self would act in the situation. The self that we are most proud of. Thinking of this helps us to choose the most effective strategy. For example, when you care about preserving a relationship, as most people do with their family members or family friends, then that goal should inform your strategy. DO: Read the 3 parts of best self* VISUALIZATION: Close your eyes (if that’s okay) and take a moment to think back to a time when you were triggered by something to be in the RED but acted in a way that you were very proud of. ASK: What did you do in that moment that was so effective? What did your ideal self look like at that moment? Facilitator give example from personal story you’ve been sharing: (Did you operate from the “best self?” If not, how might a concept of “best self” helped you have a better outcome?) 1 minute or less
- TIME: 7 minutes ACTIVITY: to develop 5 words to describe our personal best self and a behavior for each one that shows this Handout: Best Self Worksheet PURPOSE: to develop adjectives to describe our Best Self and behaviors that reflect these SAY: Now take a minute and think about your best self as a parent. Think about the qualities of your best self as a parent. Take three minutes and write down the top 5 words that describe those qualities. Spend about (2 minutes) 2. On the outside of the figure, list one or two behaviors for each adjective. How will you SHOW (demonstrate) you are the qualities you have listed? Spend about (3 minutes) Either: (2 minutes) Partner Debrief: Share your best self with a partner, or the parts you’d like to share Group Share (depending upon the size of the group, and only those who would like to share)
- TIME: 3 minutes PURPOSE: explain step 5 SAY: So how can you be your best self? What can you do or what can you tell yourself to regulate or manage the emotion effectively. This means reaching your goals. Explain the difference between : Thought Strategy: “ She is only 6 years old, and it’s been a long day.” “He’s not used to so many new faces and places.” Action Strategy: Bring pajamas, pillow and blanket and put your child to sleep when they get into the car. Bring some things to keep kids occupied when it will be adult time. Schedule time for that important conversation with say, your sister. SAY: The fifth step in the Meta-Moment process is “Strategize.” Once you have “sensed” the emotion, “stopped” or taken a necessary breath, “seen” your best self, it’s time to choose and use an effective strategy that reflects your goals and values.
- TIME: 5 minutes. PURPOSE: to share some quick and effective strategies SAY: Here are some quick and effective strategies. Some of these are thoughts (things we can tell ourselves) and some are actions (things we can do). ASK: Which of these strategies are actions? (breathing, taking some space) Which are are thoughts? What is an example you can come up with? SAY: It takes a lot of practice to develop any of these strategies well. Today we’re going to focus on two thought strategies – reframing and positive self-talk. You have a choice about how you think about something.
- TIME: 2 minutes PURPOSE: to explain the thought strategy of Reframing (also referred to as “positive reappraisal”) SAY: It’s amazing that when we decide to – we can actually shift our thoughts, shift our perspective, and when we have a different narrative about what’s going on, it may lead to a different set of feelings. It is valuable to realize that this is a choice that we can choose different ways of viewing events, even quickly if we learn to take a Meta-Moment. Being empathetic is a great strategy -- Understanding our child’s point of view helps broaden our perspective and strengthen our relationship with our child. DO: Read the examples on the slide
- TIME: 2 minutes PURPOSE: To explain the thought strategy of positive self talk SAY: Review slide When our children misbehave, this is an opportunity to ask “what is it my child needs to learn?” Facilitator Story Example: Give example of how positive self-talk may have worked in your particular story/situation DO: Ask others if they can share some positive self-talk examples from their situations and have some other examples on hand, such as “He won’t starve if he doesn’t eat his peas,” or “Maybe they zoomed into my parking spot because they’re having an emergency.”
- TIME: 1 minute PURPOSE: Share the possible positive outcomes of taking a Meta Moment SAY: The final step in the Meta-Moment process is ‘Succeed.’ Once we become skilled at the previous steps, we can expect to have better quality relationships and less stress and anxiety both at home and the workplace. We will feel better about ourselves and have greater wellbeing. For Example - Storyteller explains what success would mean for him/her now. SAY: Practicing the steps of the Meta Moment allows you to teach your children these regulation skills through modeling and practice.
- TIME: 3 minutes PURPOSE: to briefly review the steps DO: Have six participants each explain one step.
- TIME: 3 minutes PURPOSE: to explain the two types of Meta Moments DO: Hold up one hand, then hold up the other hand while explaining the 2 types SAY: The two types of Meta Moments are: Responsive – in real time after something happens and you suddenly feel triggered (like what we have been talking about) and Proactive – looking ahead and thinking about how you will respond to something that is coming up. That’s why the role plays can be helpful. *How you feel at the end of an interaction that you anticipate – is your choice - so plan and be intentional Think of all the situations we enter into everyday and how our relationships would benefit if we planned and were prepared to be our Best Selves. Practice helps us to get familiar and comfortable with the process. It builds those neural pathways in the brain, so that eventually, it becomes more habitual to respond from the place of your Best Self.
- TIME: 5 minutes PURPOSE: to go through the steps of the Proactive Meta Moment ACTIVITY: Each participant identifies a trigger and follows the prompts on the worksheet for their own situation Handout: Proactive Meta-Moment Worksheet DO: Have parents think of a trigger and fill out the worksheet with that trigger in mind. Be sure to let parents know that their children are learning about Meta-Moments in school. ASK: How did identifying your Best Self help you to think of strategies? How can we share this process with our children? What are you modeling about emotion regulation?
- TIME: 2 minutes PURPOSE: to set a personal intention for using the Meta Moment and share SAY: You don’t have to go through all of these steps every time. Once you have identified your Best Self, as a parent, it will probably remain pretty constant. You can be asking yourself these questions, reminding yourself of your best self in preparation for upcoming challenging situations. ASK: (Group Share) What can you do is to plan proactively for the many challenges you can anticipate, so that you are more effective achieving your goals and outcomes you’d hope for. DO: Encourage participants to share examples from their worksheets
- TIME: 1 minute PURPOSE: To have an experience of how differently one could respond to emotional triggers in a day when the intension is set to be one’s “best self.”
- TIME: 1 minutes PURPOSE: to review what participants are taking away from this workshop DO: Read question on slide. SAY: Think for a moment about what it was like to do this. What are you taking away from this workshop?
- TIME: Depending upon time remaining PURPOSE: Questions and Thanks!